Zelda: Ocarina of Time
by inspired-fire
Summary: If you like any of the following: characters that can be easily swayed by fancy talk, rupees, abrupt changes, Navi and Link, a cool Ganondorf, then come on in.
1. Meet Navi, your Fairy

**Welcome! My first Zelda story, it has humor in it that I hope you will enjoy. This chapter has just been remade. **

**I don't own Zelda. Yet. Muahahahahahahahaha!**

**P.S. If you are one of those lazy people, like me, you can skip ahead a few chapters, you don't miss much, just that Link grabs Navi.**

**I reply to your reviews in the newest chapter. Make sure you check the newest chapter and look for your name if you reviewed! **

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The Great Deku Tree thought silently. The time had come...the time for Mido to come and give him a backrub. According to his dozens of Kokiri spies, Mido was quite good at rubbing.

"Navi! Where art thou? I require Mido to give me a backrub! I've been itchy lately."

Navi the fairy flew up to the Great Deku Tree. "Another? But he just gave you one a few minutes ago!"

"He did? Ah, I'm getting old, Navi..."

_Crack._

A branch snapped off abruptly and fell right on top of Navi.

Navi, her voice muffled, shouted at the Great Deku Tree.

"I told you to stop dropping branches!" Navi flew out to the Deku Tree, staring at him accusingly.

A huge teardrop fell on Navi and drowned her. "I'm sorry...I just can't help it...the doctor said I couldn't be helped…"

The Deku Tree started sobbing, nearly flooding the whole place.

A nearby Kokiri started cheering and then jumped in, shouting, "Hallelujah!"

Eye twitching violently, Navi shook off the water and backed away a far distance. The Deku Tree stopped crying and watched the swimming Kokiri with amusement.

"Ah, well, go wake up that boy that lives in the treehouse. Honestly, his stench is getting too smelly for me to bear. What's his name again? Um...Lank?"

"His name is Link, Great Deku Tree." Navi corrected grumpily. "I know the Kokiri better than you do. And you're the tree who created them!"

"I told you never to mention that! Now fly away and bring him here right now or I'll drop a heavier branch!"

"No you can't, I'm floating too far away from you." Navi pointed out, yawning. The Great Deku Tree rustled around, and a shower of Deku Nuts fell on Navi.

"Ok, ok, I'm going!" Navi yelled over the falling Deku Nuts. Navi zoomed off, muttering under her breath. "Navi, go wake up Link," Navi mimicked, bumping into a tree on her way to the treehouse.

"I heard that, you know!" The Deku Tree shouted. "I'm not deaf!"

"Stupid...hearing aids..." Navi cursed as she flew into Link's treehouse. Link was snoring loudly, making everything vibrate.

"Link! Wake up!" Navi screamed over the shaking treehouse. Link continued to snore.

"I really hate doing this...but he doesn't give me any other options."

Navi zoomed really close to Link and whispered into his ear. "You've got the cooties from Mido!"

A scream broke the peaceful silence of the forest. Every single window cracked.

"Link's at it again," the Kokiri shouted amongst each other. "Who woke him up?"

The screaming stopped abruptly, and Link yawned and got up, like nothing happened. Link noticed the cracked windows and sighed. "I told Mido to stop throwing rocks at my windows." Link stuck his head out and screamed with all his might. "Mido!"

Navi flew out of the pot she was hiding in.

"Stop it!" Navi hissed urgently. "What are you doing?"

Link turned around, only to find Navi there. His sapphire eyes grew wide.

"A fairy! A cute, flying blue blob!" Link grabbed Navi and cuddled her. "You're so cute!"

Navi started to suffocate, and turned a light red.

Link gasped. "A multi-changing colour fairy!" He started to squeeze Navi some more.

Navi changed to a yellow, and then a green. "Stop it!" she choked.

Link let Navi fall to the floor. Navi twitched, and then remained still.

_Maybe if I stay still and pretend I'm dead, he won't hurt me_, Navi thought. _I really underestimated his grip._

Link began to cry. "My fairy is dead! No!"

Navi started to smile. _My plan's working!_ Navi thought excitedly.

"I'll bury her. It's the only proper thing to do." Link reasoned, picking up Navi. Navi immediately started to fly away.

"Yay! She's alive!"

"Don't even think about touching me!" Navi cried out, backing away. Link nodded, watching Navi's every move.

Navi started to relax. "Ok, kid, you're going to follow me to the Deku Tree. Right now!"

"The Great Deku Tree? Why? I want to show you off first! Nobody's ever had a multi-coloured fairy!" Link whined.

"I'm not multi-coloured!" Navi yelled. "I changed colour because you were suffocating me!"

Link "humphed", and climbed out of the treehouse ladder. Saria was running slowly, taking huge gasps of air.

Saria collapsed dramatically in front the treehouse. Link shrugged and started to walk past Saria, but she grabbed his leg and gots up.

"You're supposed to ask me if I'm okay!" Saria said indignantly, turning an angry red.

Once again, Link ignored Saria, shook off her grip and continued walking.

"Ok," Link said finally, "where am I supposed to go?"

"You dummy, haven't you ever talked to the Great Deku Tree?"

There was a short silence, and then an answer. "No."

"Follow me!" Navi commanded before floating off.

"Yeesh," Link muttered, "-the way she talks, it's like I'm young."

A few hours later, after Link visited the house of the Know-It-All-Brothers, dropped by the store, took a dip in the small pool of water, and skipped a few stones, he finally ended up beside Navi, who was glaring at Link impatiently.

"What? I'm not young anymore, you know! I can't run as fast."

"You are a KOKIRI! You don't grow up!" Navi screamed.

Link smoothed his hair back to the front and gazed at Nav coolly. "Your wasting time here, y'know."

Navi turned round, only to find Mido staring at Link with the utmost distaste.

"You can pass, Navi, but this so-called Kokiri can't." Mido said coldly, his fingers closing into a fist.

"Mido, I completely agree with you, so I'll leave you to deal with him while I go on ahead."

"Navi!" Link cried out angrily. "You're supposed to stay with me!"

Navi rolled her eyes but floated back to Link. "Mido, we have to pass, the Great Deku Tree insisted it."

Mido threw Link his coldest look. "You need a shield and a sword to pass." Mido said, his lips curling into a grin. "And I'm afraid I have the only sword in Kokiri Forest."

"Well, I bought a shield on my way over here, so no problem."

"What about the sword?" Navi hissed in Link's ear.

"Oh, no problem." Link coughed and then leaned close to Mido.

Mido started to scream. "Ahhhh! No! I got the cooties from Navi!" Mido started to run and drops the Kokiri sword.

"Easy," Link commented, picking up the sword and dropping it in his scabbard.

"Well, I've got to confess, that was good," Navi admitted, flying along with Link as they headed towards the Great Deku Tree. "But I don't have cooties!


	2. In You Go

**Second chapter. Also remade and fixed. :)**

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"Ah...Navi, thou hast returned...and on good timing too, because my back is REALLY starting to itch right now." the mighty, itching tree said thoughtfully, nodding.

Navi rolled her eyes. "Well, I brought Link, can I leave now?"

The Great Deku Tree rustled threateningly. A Deku Nut soared down and slammed into Navi…hard.

"Owie! OK, ok, I'll stay."

"Link, are you brave enough to embark on a chilling quest?" The Great Deku Tree croaked, looking deeply troubled.

"Nope, not at all." Link answered rather simply, a goofy grin on his face.

"Well, do it anyways. Go inside me and kill the beast that wanders my insides."

Link flinched. "Your...your insides?"

"Link, I'm a tree. I have hollow insides."

Link relaxed. "Oh yeah, of course I remember, it's not like I'm dumb or anything! Right?"

There was an awkward silence, and a couple passing Kokiri stared at Link with faces that only too clearly said, "Well, duh."

The Great Deku Tree opened his mouth. Link choked, as some disgusting foul smell filled his nostrils.

"What...is that?" Link wheezed, getting out of the way.

"Wust wet winside and rake the wurse!" the Great Deku Tree ordered in a muffled voice.

Link winced. "I'm seriously beginning to regret ever moving to Kokiri Forest."

"Wink!" the Great Deku Tree yelled. Gulping nervously, Link bit his lip.

"Do I have to?"

The same Kokiri walked by, with the same looks plastered on their faces.

"Will you get out of here?" Link said angrily, glaring furiously at them.

The Great Deku Tree suddenly reached out a rather long, whip-like branch, curled it around Link, and dragged the protesting Kokiri in, swallowing him up in a single gulp.

"Navi!" Link cried out before been completely consumed by darkness.

Outside, Navi was happily watching Link get sucked in. She was about to fly away, but the Deku Tree, somewhat half-crazed, reached out with the same branch, plucked her by the wings and tossed her in with a slightly maniacal laugh.


	3. Navi's Leaving?

Navi and Link looked around curiously.  
  
"Wow." Navi murmured.  
  
"Wow." Link echoed, looking around.  
  
Navi, however, didn't feel at ease. "Link, get out your sword. I have a feeling danger's around the corner."  
  
Link snorted. "Hah! Sure, Navi, sure."  
  
Navi started to fly around wildly. "Link, look out! There's a Deku Baba right behind you!"  
  
Link started to laugh. "A what? Baba? Hehehehe, you didn't think I'd fall for the oldest-"  
  
Bam!  
  
The Deku Baba snapped hungrily at Link's shield. Link's eyes widened in surprise as he whipped out his sword and shield.  
  
"Navi, what do I do?" Link screeched.  
  
"Kill it, obviously! You don't need a IQ of 100 to know that!" Navi screamed.  
  
"How??"  
  
"Slash it with your sword!"   
  
Link closed his eyes and started to hack at thin air. The Deku Baba watched Link, amused.  
  
"It would be a lot easier if your eyes were open, you know!" Navi yelled over the constant swoosh of the sword.  
  
"Oh yeah!" Link opened his eyes and focused on the Deku Baba. For once, he saw the sharp teeth in it's mouth.  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"  
  
The Deku Baba turned blue and froze.  
  
"What happened?" Link asked.  
  
"It's stunned! Strike it, Link, strike it!"  
  
However dumb Link was, he got the message. Readying his sword, he brought it down fiercely.It cut straight through the Deku Baba,  
  
splitting it in half. The Deku Baba slowly dissolved into thin air and a small deku nut fell to the ground. Link picked it up.  
  
"What's this?"  
  
"The thing that the Great Deku Tree keeps on dropping on me." Navi replied grumpily.  
  
"What do we do now?"   
  
"We go up that ladder," Navi pointed out, floating over to it.   
  
Link clambered up the ladder and stuck his finger in the web.  
  
"Yuck! It's so...sticky!"  
  
"Well, what do you expect? It's a cobweb!"  
  
Navi and Link continued their ascent up the spiraling staircase, thinking completely different thoughts.  
  
Geez, what a stupid partner. Couldn't I just be a nice, normal fairy with a nice, intelligent boy? What did I do to deserve this?  
  
Man, Navi is such a grump. Yeesh, couldn't I just be a nice, normal Kokiri with a nice, intelligent fairy? What did I do to deserve this?  
  
They didn't have long to ponder. They stopped at a door.   
  
"C'mon, Link, let's go in." Navi urged, getting up close to the door. Link shrugged and they headed inside. There was an unlit torch, a flaming one, and three lowered platforms.  
  
"Look, Link, a switch. Press it."   
  
Link got down on his knees and slammed it hard with his palm.  
  
"Owie. That hurt." The platforms started to rise up.  
  
"Quick, Link, let's get going! The switch won't stay down for long!" Navi zipped over to the small chest and waited for Link. Link hopped over two platforms and then jumped for the third one but missed and landed hard on the floor.   
  
"Oh, for crying out loud! Can't you just jump over three stinking platforms???"   
  
The platforms started to lower again. Navi flew down to Link, who was nursing an ankle. Navi noticed some wet drops on the ground near Link. Could it be that...could it be that Link was crying? Navi's voice softened. Maybe I was too hard on him, Navi thought to herself.  
  
"C'mon Link, it's all right." Navi assured him gently. She flew onto his shoulder.   
  
WHAM! Navi was blasted off by mountains of laughter.  
  
"Hahahaha! That was spit you saw, not tears!" Link was practically rolling on the ground with laughter.  
  
"You nasty little inconsiderate boy!" Navi yelled. "I'm not your partner anymore!"  
  
Navi flew off and exited through the door. 


	4. The Fairy Slingshot

Link kept on laughing for a few more minutes until he realized Navi wasn't sputtering angrily at him anymore.  
  
"Have you calmed down yet, Navi?" Link muttered out loud, looking up and down. "Navi? Where are you?"  
  
He heard a small rustle behind him. Gulping, Link turned around and saw a giant spider. But...it had a skull as it's body.  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"  
  
However, this time, the spider simply twitched and started to swing wildly. Link was grossed out, and started to choke and cough, and all the germs were aimed at the spider. The spider made a strange hacking noise, and started to dissolve into the air.   
  
Link watched proudly as a bundle of small sticks suddenly fell out of the air. He gathered them up and stuck it in a small pouch in his bag.   
  
_Cool, _Link thought, _I didn't know I had a pouch._

While Link was gloating over his pouch and victory, Navi was having problems.

Navi had gotten caught in a web. She was muttering and cursing under her breath when she suddenly flew straight into a sticky spiderweb.  
  
"Curse it, Three Goddesses!" Navi hissed angrily as she fought to get out, but the more she twisted, the more she attracted the attention of Skullwalltulas and the more she got caught in the web...  
  
Navi could hear the faint skittering noises. Fairies can understand a lot of languages, and Navi could hear Skullwalltulas clicking angrily to each other.

"You stupid fool! What is that thing that is breaking our precious web?"  
  
"How should I know? I'm not the one that spun this web! You go find out."  
  
"Ignorant, blithering idiot! If you act more like this, Ganondorf will chop off our legs!"

Nervously, Navi stopped tugging at the web.

Silence. It was absolutely still. Slowly, the skittering started again, growing louder. Louder. Until it was a constant clicking that nearly drove Navi off the edge. Navi saw a Skullwalltula advancing proudly.  
  
"Hey, jerk, I found what it was! It's a fair-"

_Clang._

A Deku Seed slammed into the Skullwalltula, causing it to scream in agony before it dropped to the floor, vanishing. Navi looked back and saw Link, aiming with a slingshot.   
  
"Link!" Navi cried out, relieved. "You don't have to shoot another one, I think there was only-"  
  
_Clang._

Another Skullwalltula fell in agony to the floor. Navi stared at the boy she had mocked, the boy that was supposed to be stupid and cowardly.  
  
"Thanks, Link." Navi said weakly. "Can you help me get out of here?"

Link squinted through the spiderweb. Apparently Navi had twisted so much all the spiderwebs had collected on her in one huge blob.

"Is that you, Navi? It looks like...cotton candy...mmm..."  
  
Link spent the next few moments gurgling. Navi was growing more impatient by the minute.  
  
"Link! Get me out of here!" Navi yelled.

Link seemed to notice Navi for the first time. "Oh, hi Navi! What's up?"

"Well, I left you laughing and flew straight into a spiderweb and was then attacked by two skullwalltulas. Yeah, so, I think I was ok." Navi replied, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Do you want me to help you get out?" Link asked innocently.  
  
Navi thrashed around the web in frustration. "Yes!"

Link took out his fairy slingshot.   
  
Navi gulped. "Uh...Link...you-"


	5. Deku Scrub Fight!

Navi was twitching almost constantly, the bump on her head growing sore.   
  
"You didn't have to do that, you know." Navi grumbled, flying along with Link as they continued their ascent. Link shrugged.  
  
"It was the only way to get you out. You _did _want to get out, didn't you?" Link asked innocently, grinning.  
Link had fired the Deku Seeds dangerously close to Navi, and his aim...was...rather poor, and some of the Deku Seeds had slammed into Navi herself. Although Navi managed to get untangled, Link had left quite a few bumps on her head.  
  
"Great...first the Great Deku Tree, then you...I don't know which hurts more, a Deku Nut, or a Deku Seed." Navi muttered under her breath.  
  
"Care to experiment?" Link said, grinning once more.  
  
"Don't you dare," Navi's voice was barely above a whisper. They were silent again for a little bit again.

"By the way..." Navi said slowly, "-how did you get the slingshot?"  
  
Link thought about it for a moment. "I found it in a chest. I got stuck inside and got locked in but I kicked it open. Then I heard some clicking and some muttering from grumpy old you, and then I came and rescued you."  
  
"Spare me," Navi murmured. Link twirled his slingshot and threw it in the air. The slingshot twisted and turned, and it would've looked pretty cool if he had caught it. It flipped and started to go over the edge of the stairway.  
  
"Oh no!" Navi cried out. "Catch it, Link!"

Link made a desperate grab, and jumped for it. Link's fingers curled over the slingshot tightly, but the fact still remained that he was in the air.   
  
"Nooo!!! Help me! I'm falling! Naviiiii!!!!"

As much as Navi wanted to just let Link fall, she couldn't-the boy had saved her life. Rather stupidly and had been bragging about it, but he had saved her. Navi grumbled and flew over to Link.

"How can I save you? I can't carry you because you've been eating so much chicken lately, and you can see that." Indeed, Link's stomach was bulging.

"Navi!" Link whined. "Help me!"  
  
They were falling, falling, falling into...a spiderweb on the ground???

_Maybe it was a good idea Link ate so much chicken, _Navi thought, _we'll need his weight._

_Whap._

They had broken through the web in the ground, and Link was screaming.

"I want my Mido!" Link yelled as they continued to fall.

"Isn't it, "I want my mommy?" Navi corrected.

"Oh yeah. I want my mommy!" Link cried.

They fell and splashed into a small pool of water. Link flailed wildly for a few moments.

"I'm drowning!" he gurgled as he sank through the water.  
  
"Link, you can get up. You're just sinking down on your knees." Navi said dully. Link got up, embarrased.  
  
"Yeah, I knew that. Just trying to fool you."

Navi didn't bother to correct him this time. "C'mon," she urged, "I can smell evil real close."

Link nodded, and they got out of the water. There was another Deku Baba up close.

Then followed up another scream, and some Deku Seeds falling to the ground after the Deku Baba was defeated. They entered a door with three Deku Scrubs waiting.

_Bang._ A Deku Nut went spiraling and slammed straight into Link. A lump the size of a Kokiri's fist was growing on his head.  
  
"Who did that?" Link growled, looking around.  
  
"I did!" all three Deku Scrubs said proudly in unison.

"No, you dolt, I did!" all three said again.

"Why are you always trying to take away my pride?" they all said again. The one to the right aimed a Deku Nut at the far left one. The middle one aimed one at the far right one. The one of the left aimed one to the middle one.   
  
"Stop it!" the one in the middle roared, unleashing some more Deku Nuts. "I hit the boy in the head, and I deserve all the credit.  
  
"No, I did!" the other two cried out, throwing Deku Nuts at the one in the middle.

Navi and Link snuck off the to the far left towards the door, taking advantage of their fight. They entered the door, and Navi gulped.  
  
"Link...I smell evil."


	6. Queen Gohma VS Lost me slingshot Link

The door slammed shut after them. Link started to sweat, feeling nervous.   
  
"Navi? I feel scared." Link shivered, his knees shaking.  
  
Navi was silent. She could smell it. It smelled strong, foul, evil. Link heard a skittering sound. He gulped.  
  
"Navi? What was that?"   
  
Navi looked up at the ceiling and gazed straight into the eye of Queen Gohma. "Queen Gohma."

_Bam. _The giant spider fell to the floor and raised it's two front legs. It screeched loudly.  
  
Link cowered as the giant spider advanced. Navi flew up and down around Link and screamed at him. "Get _up, _Link! Up! Fight it!"  
  
Link ignored Navi and wailed. "I'm too young to die!" Link whined.

Navi had enough.   
  
"Get _up, _you sissy! Even Mido's braver than you!"

Link got up and frowned. "No, I'm braver than Mido."  
  
"Then fight!" Navi yelled, exhausted. Link rolled his eyes and stared straight at Queen Gohma, which was one foot away from him.  
  
"Navi! What do I do?"  
  
"Stun it with your slingshot and then kill it!"   
  
Link rummaged around in his pouch for his slingshot. "Oh no!" he moaned. "I lost it!"

"Well do something!" Navi shouted, flying away from danger as Queen Gohma roared and made a swipe. Link seemed completely unaware of his surroundings, and was concentrating fully on where his slingshot was.  
  
"Navi, I think I might of dropped it somewhere around here," Link complained.

"Just use something else then!" Navi snapped as she avoided another slash from Queen Gohma. Navi was trying her fairy best-hehe, get it, fairy best, as in very best, you know, like-uh, sorry, right, back to the story, to distract Queen Gohma from Link. Link took out a Deku Stick.  
  
"That's too we-" Navi began.

The Deku Stick snapped in half, and now Queen Gohma's attention was diverted to Link.

_Kerp. _A Deku Nut slapped Queen Gohma in the air, stunning her...for a while.  
  
"Hehehe...see Navi? I told you I'd find-"  
  
"Stop talking, braggart, and just kill her!" Navi panted as she flew out of reach.

Link grumbled and took out his Kokiri sword and slashed Queen Gohma in the eye. Queen Gohma reeled back and started to dissolve into air, leaving behind a heart piece. Link danced with joy.  
  
"I told you I'd defeat her!" Link said happily.  
  
"Just grab the heart piece and let's step on the blue telepad now, ok?" Navi grumbled.  
  
Link proceeded to pick up the heart piece. "Ow...there's this thing in my shoe that's digging into my foot."

Navi grunted. "Well, it better not be the fairy slin-"  
  
"Woo hoo! I found my slingshot!"

"Why was it in your foot?" Navi asked suspicously.  
  
"I dunno." Link shrugged, walking over to the telepad. Navi glared at Link's back as she followed.

_Well, _she thought. _I guess now I won't have to be his partner anymore._


	7. Broken Ocarina

Link and Navi didn't fall gently to the ground.

"Ow!" Link screamed as he hit the ground. Then he got up. "That hurt."  
  
Navi, however, was crushed under Link. Her wings fluttered for a bit, and with some struggling, she managed to get up into the air.

"Yes," she muttered, "...it certainly did."

Link got up and brushed his knees. He looked up and saw the Great Deku Tree looking at him.

"Well done, Link. My breath won't smell so bad now."  
  
"That's a relief," Link sighed, sitting down.

"Now, Link, shall I tell you the story of the Three Goddesses?" The Great Deku Tree asked wisely.

Link shrugged and fished out a Kit Kat. "Sure, why not?"  
  
"Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah..." The Great Deku Tree droned on and on. Finally, he came to a stop. "That, is how Hyrule was created. Now, I think you should go meet the Princess Of Destiny, who lives in Hyrule Castle. When I die, she can take my place as your superior." The Great Deku Tree paused to laugh in a deep, booming voice. "Well, what are you waiting for? Oh yeah, and take this Emerald so she won't kick you out the minute she sees you. Hahahahahaha....bye bye! Oy, I almost forgot to tell you. Navi, you'll accompany him through his journey."

"What?" Navi gasped, aghast. "You can't-"

The Great Deku Tree smiled cynically and started to wither.  
  
A green shining stone, the Kokiri Emerald, dropped out of no where. It fell to the ground. It smelled...faintly...sweet...  
  
Link woke up from his slumber. "Wha??? Ok, sure, whatever you say." Link picked up the Kokiri Emerald, tossed it into his pouch, and they left the Great Deku Tree.

They met Mido again, who was frowning this time at Link. "You killed the Great Deku Tree, didn't you?"

"Nope, he's still alive." Link fibbed. "You can go see him. He requested your wonderful presence."  
  
Mido puffed out his chest proudly. "Well, of course." he scoffed. "I am the Great Mido, leader of the Kokiri. Who wouldn't be delighted with my presence?"  
  
Mido walked straight ahead, leaving Navi and Link grinning. They ran to the exit, the tunnel leading out of Kokiri Forest. A Kokiri boy blocked the way.  
  
"Sorry, you can't pass. I have special orders from the Great Deku Tree to stop anybody from leaving."  
  
"Your house is on fire," Link said simply.

The Kokiri boy ran away, screaming, "My house!!! My dear, beloved house! I'm nearly there! Please, hang on to dear life for a few more precious minutes."

Link and Navi exited the forest, leaving behind memories and friends.

Saria was waiting for Link in the bridge. "I came here to yell at you," she said huffily. "Humph, well, I see you're leaving the forest. I was having such a successful garage sale, but nobody bought my broken Fairy Ocarina. Humph. Here, you can have it. I've got too much stuff. Well, goodbye!"

Saria pressed the broken Ocarina into Link's hands and ran off, leaving Link stupefied. After her words sank in, he put it to his lips and blew.  
  
_Laaaaaaaa_...

The Ocarina didn't sound too bad; in fact, Link was having trouble believing it was broken and that _he _was blowing.

They went through the tunnel, leaving Kokiri Forest for good.


	8. Kaepora Gaebora and Stalchilds

Link felt dizzy.

"This is Hyrule?" he gazed in awe at the rivers, the plains, the castle...

Navi nodded. "Well," she said finally, "I suppose we better go meet the "Princess of Destiny"."

They started walking when they heard a voice.

"Thy journey has started, hasn't it, Link?"

Link drew his sword and glared at the owl sitting on top of the branch. "Who are you, and how do you know my name?"

The owl chuckled. "No need for the sword, now, Link. My name is Kaepora Gaebora, and I will guide you the best I can through your journey."

Link let out a small choking sound, and then it developed into a full outburst of laughter.

Navi mouthed to the owl, "he's just like that sometimes", and then gently hit Link. "What are you laughing about??"

"Kaepora…Gaebora," he said, struggling to breathe as he giggled without showing any signs of stopping. "What kind of name is that?"

Navi flushed. "Link!"

But now that she thought about it, Kaepora Gaebora was a pretty weird name.

And then she started to snigger as well, and before long, they were both rolling around, roaring with laughter. The owl looked quite miffed, and she cleared her throat coldly.

"I'm sorry for _alarming_ you, but it's the manner I do think best. I'm here right now to give you a map of Hyrule. I have no doubt it will aid you in your perilous quest."

Navi noticed the ragged parchment rolled up and clutched tightly in the owl's talons. Now she knew the owl meant no harm. (although a part of her had already figured this out from her name)

"Ah, I see you brought a companion." Kaepora scrutinized Navi. "A clever fairy, if not…slightly…outlandish."

Navi blushed.

"I have also come to tell you information about the castle." Kaepora continued. "It will be dangerous for you if you are caught by the guards. Do the best you can, and I give you a valuable piece of advice: run at night, and sneak in the light. If you succeed, the princess shall give you some information about what you should do next in your quest. Best of luck. Now, did you get all that?"

Link shook his head, still looking a bit tipsy from the laughter. Kaepora looked irritated, but repeated the information again.

"I'm sorry, I missed that part about the princess. What is she going to do again?" Link asked.

Kaepora seemed like she wanted nothing more than rip him to shreds with her talons, but repeated the information.

"Wait, I didn't catch all that. Can you say it again?"

The owl was beginning to flex her talons almost with relish.

"Forget it," Kaepora snapped. "Just go and talk to the princess, okay?"

The owl flew off. Navi resisted the urge to fly off with Kaepora and instead yelled at Link.

"Look, you lost us our guide! She could've led us to Hyrule Castle!"

"Oh, she was a girl?" Link said, dumbfounded, "how did you know?"

Navi was extremely dismayed by the incompetence of her partner. "Let's just go," she spat out, flying way ahead. Link ran after Navi as she flew to the castle. Just as they were outside the drawbridge, the wolf howled, signaling night. The drawbridge started to raise.

"Oh...no! Wait!" Navi cried out. "Wait..."

The drawbridge closed, and Link sat down on the grass, preparing for sleep, completely unperturbed by this obstacle in their journey.

"You dummy, how can you sleep? Stalchilds roam the plains at night! It is their playroom!" Navi hissed at Link. Link got up and stared disbelievingly at Navi.

"Fine," he yawned. Link reluctantly took out his sword and shield and waited, shooting "um, sure" looks at Navi from time to time. Soon, a Stalchild rose out of the ground. The Stalchild dragged itself over to Link, knocked down his shield, and managed to scratch Link.

"Ow!" Link yelped in pain as he slashed the Stalchild with the Kokiri sword. The Stalchild snickered softly, its dry laugh haunting. Soon, another Stalchild rose. Link was now slashing his sword randomly, swinging it in all directions. Link started panting. It was tiring.

"Navi..." he gasped, "I don't think I can keep on slashing for long. I wish I had gone to sleep."

"Jump in the water, Link! Jump! The Stalchilds can't stand bathin-water!" Navi screamed urgently. "Go, you fool!"

Link panted, and exhausted, collapsed into a heap on the ground. He crawled pitifully towards the water. A few more pulls...

A Stalchild scratched Link on the foot.

"Owww!!!" Link yelped. "Navi! Distract them!"

Navi zipped up to the approaching Stalchilds and tried to mimick an annoying fly by going near their ears. Her plan worked. They groaned in anger and started to swipe at Navi. She understood what the Stalchilds were saying.

"Go for the boy!" one of them moaned.

"He is tastier," the others whispered.

"Yes, let us feast on him! We will deal with the fairy later."

The Stalchilds changed direction and dragged themselves over towards Link.

Navi started to panic. It was a risk, but it was either that, or certain death. All fairies are blessed with the gift of all tongues.

"My brothers," she started in squeaky Stalchildian language, "-you must help me. I am actually a Stalchild, but am cursed with a pathetic, weak, fairy body."

The Stalchilds stopped in their tracks. Luckily, this wasn't a very clever group.

"No kidding?" they replied in Stalchildian. "Well, tell us then, who is the greatest evil mastermind?"

Navi gulped. She had to take a wild guess. "Ganondorf?"

The Stalchilds smiled, and bonked Navi on the head. "We'll help you, fellow. What's your name?"

Navi risked a glance at Link before answering. Link was on the edge and was giving the thumbs-up at Navi.

"Navi!" the fairy answered before dodging the various Stalchilds' hands and flying beside Link. Link grinned, and hopped in.

"After them!" the leader Stalchild roared, going as fast as he could into the moat. All the Stalchilds leapt in, only to break into bones. The Stalchilds disappeared in wisps of smoke as they touched the water. Dozens of rupees littered the bottom of the water. Link was desperately diving for them, bringing up two or three at a time.

When he resurfaced for the last time, he frowned. "Man, I've never seen anyone who hates taking a bath so much that they'd die if they touched water!"

Navi glared furiously at Link. "We could've gotten killed back there! I hope this teaches you a lesson not to underestimate your enemies!"

Link laughed cockily. "But the point is, Navi. We _didn't _get killed."

Navi waited angrily for the sun to rise. After eight hours the horizon steadily became brighter, an explosion of beautiful colours. A Cucco crowed, and Navi yelled at Link to get out of the water.

"Get out! Link, the drawbridge will lower!"

Link's head bobbed up. "What? Oh, the draw-"

Link's sentence was cut short by the drawbridge lowering.

"_Ouch!_" Link cried out. The drawbridge had bonked him on the head, and for a moment, it stopped in mid-air. Navi heard some guards crying out.

"Hey, what's going on?" one of the guards asked another, confused.

"I don't know! Go check it out!" the other guard ordered. A guard walked over to the drawbridge and stomped his feet on it a few good times. The chains creaked a little, and started to lower again.

"Ok!" the guard cried out. "It's fixed. I don't know what caused it, but it seems to be gone. Probrably an Octorok, or something."

Link swam out from under the drawbridge when the guard was fully out of sight. He was rubbing his head, annoyed and sore.

"Ow...that really hurt..." he moaned.

"It'll heal," Navi assured him, "-otherwise the bumps on the head the Great Deku Tree gave me would show nicely in public."

They walked across the drawbridge.


	9. Malon, Talon, and Rupees

The Hyrule Castle Market Town was a lively place. Link and Navi gazed in wonder, looking at all the joyful Hylians, all the people dancing around. A man bumped into Link.

"Do you know where the "Princess of Destiny?" is?" Link asked, his eyes going up and down, looking at the bright clothing and the big bag tied to his back.

"I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date!" he sang, rushing past them.

Link and Navi stared, each looking dumbfounded. Navi shook to her senses first. She saw a small young girl with flaming red hair singing to herself.

_She looks smart enough, _Navi thought.

"C'mon, Link!" she called as she zipped along to her. Link came up a few minutes later.

"Oh, hello!" the girl greeted brightly. "You look...rather...you look...different...oh my, is that a _fairy_? Oh my goodness. Wow! You must be from the forest, then. What are you doing here?"  
  
"We're looking for a princess," Link answered, picking his nails.

"Oh, you must mean the beloved Princess Zelda! Well, you should go right behind me, that'll lead you straight to the castle."  
  
"Thanks!" Navi said gratefully. "Let's go, Link!"

The pair ran, leaving the girl looking confused and worried. Her father was missing.

Navi was checking out the place. She flew up high and spotted the high towers.

"Hey, Navi, I found some vines!" Link shouted, starting to climb. Navi followed Link up and met him by a Gossip Stone.

The two walked carefully over and jumped down from the hill. There were guards swarming everywhere.

"Guards!" Navi whispered. "Quick, hide behind that rock!"

Navi and Link dove into the cover of the rock.

"Hah! That guard, he never saw it coming!" Link gloated.

"No! Be qui-"

"Hey, you! Over there!" the guard yelled.

"Run!" Navi screamed. Link tried to run, but his foot got caught on the rock.

The guard marched over to Link just as he got his foot loose.

"Pure rascals, I say." the guard muttered. "I want to speak to your parents, young hoodlum."

After fifteen minutes of trying to convince the guard that Link's parents were sleeping, he finally believed him and threw him over the gate.

"Don't make me catch you again!" the guard yelled.

Link and Navi went back to the spot where the vines were growing. There were surprised to see the girl there, waiting.

"Oh, hello, " she said sweetly, "I had a feeling you were going to go to the castle. Do you think you can do me a favour and find my dad? I'll give you this. It's an egg. I've been trying to hatch it lately, but, maybe you'll have better luck. Oh, and by the way, my name's Malon. Now, shoo!"

Malon shoved an egg into Link's hands and glared at him.

Link shrugged, pocketed the egg, and he climbed the vines once more. This time, they were more lucky, and made it past the guards without being seen...with Navi's help, of course. They came to a small stream.

"Get in, Link, and swim. You see that corner? You can get off there." Navi urged.

Link jumped into the water and followed Navi's instructions to the letter and got off. Navi frowned. There was a sleeping man in blue overalls and two milk crates were cluttered beside him.

"Link, look, there's a small entrance in the spout where water's coming out. We can go through there, but you're too short, so you won't make it if you jump."

Navi looked around and spotted the milk crates again. "Yes, perfect! We can use the crates! But that man, he's blocking the way! Wake him up, Link!"  
  
Link slapped the man in the face.

"I told you to wake him up, not slap him in the face!" Navi said, exasperated.

Link shrugged. "Well, it's not like it did any good. He's still sleeping."

Indeed, the man was sleeping just as peacefully, as if Link hadn't done a thing.

"He's a really heavy sleeper," Link commented as Navi screamed in his ear. Link went over to the stream and cupped his hands, collecting some water. He rushed back to the man and dumped it on his face. The man snorted and wiped his face with a large, burly hand.

"Wow," Navi said in awe, "he's better than you!"

Link looked affronted. "Of course not!"

They kept arguing for the entire night until dawn. As the regular Cucco crowed, Link could here a small cracking noise, and then a smaller Cucco noise. Link checked his pockets to find not an egg-but a fully grown Cucco! It chirped loudly.

The man grunted, and rubbed his eyes.

"Huh?" he said in confusion, getting up, "-what happened?"

The man spotted Navi and Link. He seemed sleepy and dizzy. "Who are you, and whatcha doin' here? I'm Talon, owner of Lon Lon Ranch. I must of fallen asleep while I was delivering milk."  
  
"Um, we're here looking for a girl's dad. Her name's what...Malon?"

Talon's gaze seemed to sharpen. "Malon? My daughter? She's looking for me? Oh dearie, that's not good!"

He started to sweat, and fear burned in his eyes. "She'll kick me outta the ranch for sure!"

Link watched the cloud of dust disappear around the corner.

"Malon must be a really ferocious girl," Navi said uneasily, flying over to the crates. "Well, anyways, c'mon Link, let's push these crates over.

Unfortunately, Link was a bit of...weakling and was pigging out on what was left of his Kit Kat bar so by the time the crates were all in place, it was night.

Navi suddenly remembered what Kaepora Gaebora had said. _Run at night, sneak at light. _

She watched the moon come up. Could it possibly have to do anything with the weather?

_No, _she decided, _it can't._

Link crawled through the small opening and was surprised to see two guards standing at attention. Link was even more surprised when they took him by the arms, dragged him out, and threw him out of a door.

Navi then realized what Kaepora meant. "Link, we can't sneak in when it's night. That's what it means! Run, run away from the castle at night, because I bet there are guards swarming simply everywhere! I bet the security's doubled! Then, when it's daytime, we can sneak in because it isn't as dangerous and there aren't as many guards! That's what Kaepora meant!"

Link's eyes burned with regret. "Oh, now you tell me! Then I wouldn't of had to been dragged by the shoulders and thrown out of a door!"

But they were both thankful that Navi had suddenly realized the truth. Link would've tried again and again and again. They waited patiently for dawn. When they heard the Cucco cry, Link clambered onto the crate and hopped into the small hollow and crawled into the entrance again.

Navi was right. There were at least half the number of guards there had been yesterday night. They made it past all the guards until they saw the last obstacle. There were rupees scattered everywhere. Blue rupees, gold rupees, and red rupees! Link's jaw dropped down. There were also ten guards patrolling that particular area.

Navi stared at Link's glazed eyes, and stared behind him. There was a staircase, leading up towards a wooden board which Link could cross towards the other side.

"C'mon, Link! Let's go up that-"

Link was running as fast as he could towards the rupees.

"No, Link! Don't let greed take the better of you!" Navi cried out, watching in dismay. "We'll surely get caught!"

But it was Navi's turn to be surprised.

Link ran like a whirlwind, knocking down various guards and picking up rupees faster than a blink of an eye. Link slowed to a stop by Navi, gazing proudly down at his bulging bag of rupees.

Navi looked at Link in amazement. There were exactly ten guards knocked unconscious.

"Let's get going, Navi," Link said calmly, walking up the stairs. Navi buzzed around Link in excitement.

"That was _incredible, _Link!" Navi gushed, taking another look at the fallen guards.

Link blushed as they walked into the Castle Courtyard...


	10. The Castle Courtyard

Link heard a soothing, almost sad, tune drift into the courtyard. He saw a small stream of clear, cool water encircling the land. Up ahead was a young girl wearing a silken dress, staring into the window.

"Who's that?"Navi whispered. Link walked up the stairs and prodded the girl on the shoulder.

_Kerpopblizangkinnnggggtallllnooooossssssgtttttttttigggggg!!!!_

Link fell back down to the floor with a bruised knee, two cut arms, and bleeding nose.

Zelda turned around, brushed her skirt gently, and smoothed her hair back.

"You made me break a nail, you ignorant boy. Bad move." Zelda backflipped the stairs and frowned at Link.

"Wait a minute...you have a fairy..." Zelda straightened herself. "Who are you?"

Link got up and glared at Zelda. It was humiliating to get beaten up by a girl, especially in front of Navi.

"I'll be asking the questions around here, missy." Link spat out coldly, stopping the flow of blood and trying to ignore the pangs of pain on his arms and knees.

Zelda raised an amused eyebrow, brought up her finger, placed it on Link's temple, and pushed.

Link fell to the ground, his back adding to his injuries.

"Okay, okay, sorry!" Link cried out. "I just wanna speak to the Princess of Hyrule, Zelda!"

Zelda was silent, a grin slowly spreading on her face. "Hasn't anyone told you that Zelda's a tomboy?"

Her grin got wider. "I'm Zelda."

Link mouth fell open. "You-you're Zelda??? You can't be...I thought...I thought Zelda was one of those...well, prissy girly girls!"

Zelda laughed. "I can surprise people with my attitude, can't I? Well, first, can you tell me your name?"

Link got up. "My name's Link, and I'm from the forest. The Great Deku Tree, our forest guardian told me to come to you. He said something about you being my-"

Link stopped. He was just about to say, "superior".

"What?" Zelda asked suspicously.  
  
"Um, nothing," Link said quickly.

Zelda's eyes flickered dangerously. "What did you say?"

Link felt a shimmer of fear. "Ok, ok, superior."

Zelda laughed. "I'm not _that _mean, you know. Well, I'll tell you what I was doing. I was spying through the window. I know you think that's girly, but I was actually looking to see Ganondorf, the leader of the Gerudos, who live in the desert. He looks pretty powerful. I wanna challenge him to a battle. He looks like a challenge."

Link saw a gleam of excitement in Zelda's eyes.

"I think though, he's trying to take over the world, not only Hyrule. I see madness in his eyes, so that's why I'm training, to try and stop him in combat. Link, can you do me a favour?"

Link dearly wanted to say, "no", but he'd probrably get kicked in the shin.

"Of course," Link answered.

"Collect the other two spiritual stones, and bring them to me. We'll get the Triforce and be unstoppable!"

Link wanted to run away from Zelda, but instead nodded.

"Great!" she said in a high-pitched tone.

Link frowned.

"I mean, great!" Zelda repeated in a slightly lower tone. "My attendant, Impa, shall lead you out. Now, scrammm!!!"

Zelda flicked her finger, and Link hurried off to find Impa, a stern, built woman with her arms crossed.

"I'm going to teach you a song." Impa said in a high, fluttery voice. "I feel like bossing somebody around."

Link felt like he was going to faint. First off, injuries, then a tomboy princess, and a girly bodyguard!?!? But Link obeyed and took out his fairy ocarina and pressed it to his lips.

Impa raised her fingers to her nose and started to blow it.

_Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala_

Link tried to copy it-and did it perfectly.

_How the heck did I do that?_ Link pondered as Impa applauded.

"Good, good. Now, I'll lead you out."


	11. Mean Ol' Malon?

Link, stunned, followed Impa through a small passageway which led out of the castle. They crossed the drawbridge while Impa whistled, "Zelda had a Little Lamb".  
  
"Now, boy, you must go to Kakariko Village. That's where I was born and raised. Talk to a few people, if you wish, but don't dilly dally," Impa warned. "Time is at stake here. When you feel like you're ready, follow the trail to Death Mountain, where you will eventually find Goron City, home of the Gorons. They have the second Spiritual Stone you seek, Goron's Ruby, the Spirtual Stone of Fire."  
  
Impa gave Link a swift nod, backed up, and threw down a Deku Nut sharply. There was a flash of brilliant light, and Impa was...still there.  
  
"Darn it." Impa glared at Link. "I can't do it in front of other people. Turn away, boy."  
  
Link turned his head slightly, and looked out of the corner of his eye. Impa ran and hid behind a bush. Link tried not to laugh as they made their way across the bridge towards Kakariko Village. Navi flew up and down excitedly.  
  
"We're going to save the world, Link! Wow! I wonder what Saria would think!"  
  
"She'd probrably give me a broken Deku Stick," Link muttered darkly. Navi frowned.  
  
"I think we give her a visit sometime," Navi said, her frown etched deeper. Link laughed.  
  
"We'll visit her later, Nav. It's not like we need to. It's not like she's gonna teach me a song, or something...now that'd be important!"  
  
Navi sighed. "I guess you're right."  
  
Suddenly, Link stopped in the middle of the stairs. "Hey, Navi, do you think we should visit Talon? I mean, maybe Malon will give us a reward for finding him."  
  
"You'd pay a visit to Lon Lon Ranch just to pick up a prize from people you don't even know, and you wouldn't go visit Saria, one of your childhood friends, the one you grew up with???" Navi demanded furiously.  
  
Link was already heading down the stairs. Navi didn't move.  
  
"Come on," Link urged, glaring at Navi.  
  
"I won't go unless we visit Saria."  
  
"No."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Navi-get it stuck in your mind. No."  
  
"I won't go with you unless we visit her!" Navi cried out angrily. Link grimaced.  
  
"Ok, ok, fine. We'll visit her afterwards, ok? Happy?"  
  
Navi grunted in reply and they continued their path to Lon Lon Ranch. There were two posts and a few barns inside. There were horses galloping wildly, and Cuccos clucking away. In the middle of the ranch was Malon, humming to herself with a small foal. Link sniggered, about twenty feet away from her.  
  
"She's singing to a horse!" Link giggled.  
  
Suddenly, everything froze.   
  
The Cuccos ran inside the barn, clucking wildly, and the horses huddled together in a far corner. Malon raised her gaze and stared straight at Link. Even Link had gone quiet.   
  
"What did you say?" Malon asked quietly, advancing, cracking her knuckles.  
  
Link had already been beaten up by one girl today, and he didn't want to raise the count to two.  
  
"He said that your voice is the pure voice of angels," Navi quickly answered. Malon laughed viciously.  
  
"But of course! What are you doing here, anyways, fairy boy?"  
  
"To..to pick up my reward," Link squeaked.  
  
"Reward? What reward?"  
  
"For...finding your father."  
  
"Ah....well, I thank ye kindly. I'll teach you a song, as a reward."  
  
If Link wasn't broken down and terrified, he would've scoffed and said, "A song ain't a reward,", but instead took out his ocarina.  
  
Malon's eyes widened. "That's one nice ocarina. Can I have it?"  
  
"It's broken." Link said quickly, feeling nervous.  
  
Malon grinned. "We'll see. Now, follow along."  
  
_Hiiiheeehommhiiiheeehomm._  
  
Link knew that was easy, and for a split second he was going to play it perfectly, but his ocarina was at stake. Link took a deep breath, and blew.  
  
_Screeechsskkkkatttttskkoooo._  
  
Malon covered her ears.  
  
"That was HORRIBLE!" Malon said, her face full of disgust.   
  
"Aye, it's broken, that's why." Navi explained, going close to Link's ear.  
  
"Run!" Navi hissed. Link didn't need to be told twice. They started running out of the ranch.  
  
"Hey, wait up!" Malon yelled. "I still needed to tell you tha-"  
  
Link and Navi were already out of the ranch.  
  
"I still needed to ask you what you thought of how I treat nasty people!" 


	12. Link, a Child of Destiny? WHAT?

Link and Navi didn't stop running when they were out of the Lon Lon Ranch-no, instead, they kept running back to the entrance to the forest. At the state they were in, it didn't take too long for them to get to the tunnel. Link and Navi panted as they crossed the bridge.

"I hope that teaches you a lesson, too!" Navi panted, too tired to yell.

"Yeah," Link agreed, "-stay away from girls."

Navi glared at Link. "Saria's a girl, too, you know!"

Link shrugged. "She's ok because she gives me junk. You should see my closet someday," Link added, looking as if that thought was clearly very satisfying.

"I don't _want _to," Navi said in disgust. "Din knows what's in there..."

Link smiled happily. "I _love _that type of reaction."

They walked towards Saria's house, but nobody was there.

"Saria?" Navi called out, checking the higher floor.

"Give it up, Navi, she isn't here." a voice said. It was Mido! "I don't understand why a no-good slob wants to see Saria."

"Excuse me?" Navi asked, insulted.

"I was talking about Link," Mido said, jumping out of the shadows in front of Link.

"Say, what are _you _doing here, Mido?" Link accused suspicously.

"I'm supposed to be guarding Saria's house so nobody would steal her rupees." Mido's gaze sharpened on Link's bulging rupee bag. Link's hand moved quickly to hide it from view.

"Where is Saria, Mido?" Navi demanded. "We really need to know! It's urgent!"

Mido's gaze shifted to the blue fairy. He hesitated. "Well...if you really need to know, she's in-"

Link quickly took his attention towards Navi in advantage and sprinkled some rupees on the floor.

"-the Lost Woods. You should go...hmm...left, right, left, right again, straight, then left, right, left, and then right."

Link quickly bent down to the carpet and snuck a few rupees.

"That should lead you straight to Saria." Mido finished. There was a sneaky look in his eyes. He grinned.

Link took his last few moments and threw the red rupee the farthest he could towards the open drawer. Just in time, Mido turned towards Link.

"Link, put back the rupees."

"Who, me? I didn't take any," Link said cheerfully. A rupee plunked to the floor. Link swiped it and threw it over his back.

Mido rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Just get outta here, all right?"

Link and Navi got out of the house quickly.

"I'm slightly suspicous, Navi. That isn't like Mido. Usually he'd throw us a few insults before we leave."

Navi frowned. "What d'you mean, "we"?"

"Ok, ok, maybe just me, but still..."

Navi floated up towards the Lost Woods entrance. "Oh, stop being so paranoid. Mido is nice around nice people."

Link's thoughtful face didn't waver as they went through. Fortunately, Navi remembered Mido's directions, and they ended up at a small meadow with a maze.

"What the heck?" Navi exclaimed. "Mido told us that Saria would be right here!"

"I told you Mido's a liar," Link grumped. They started to head towards the maze, but a gate sprung up, and Link heard a growl behind him. Navi turned pale.

"That's a Wolfos, Link!"

"Oh, that's very useful," Link snapped. "Do I just slash it with my sword?"

Navi nodded. "Use your shield, too. A Wolfo's claws can hurt realllll bad."

Link unhooked his shield and his sword. The Wolfos howled again and slashed at Link, barely touching his shield.

"Get closer, Link! If he can't hit you, then obviously you can't hit him!"

Link got closer and the next hit the Wolfos made created a clean mark on Link's shield. Link gulped, but almost magically the cut seemed to disappear, replaced with fresh wood.

"How did-"

"It's made from magic Deku Tree bark! Kill the Wolfos, Link!"

Link made a straight lunge and missed, landed hard on the ground. The Wolfos took the opportunity and clawed-hard, on Link's leg. There was a thin scar. Link howled in pain.

"OWIIIEEEE! Why you little-"

Link got up, eyes rolling around madly, his mouth foaming. Even the Wolfos looked a little taken aback. Link started doing incredible moves, rolling and slashing the Wolfos in the back, and then finally managed to make a stab at the Wolfos tail, pinning it to the ground. Navi watched in fascinated horror. The Wolfos howled in pain and scratched Link on the arm. Link growled, took out a Deku Nut, stunned it, stepped on the Wolfos tail, and pulled the Kokiri Sword out. The Wolfos let out one more cry of pain and vanished in blue flames. Link fell to the ground. Navi flew over to Link urgently.

"Are you all right, Link?"

Link got up, looking amazed. "Tell me that that was a dream,"

"No! That was...that wasn't you, Link. What happened? How did you just..." Navi trailed off.

"I think I was really tired," Link offered as an explanation.

"No...I don't think..." Navi faltered again. She was thinking of what CFN, Central Fairy Network, had said.

_"Children of Destiny are extremely hard to find. Usually, there's a couple round in Kokiri Forest. Hahaha, Bob, isn't an honour to be partner to one?"_

_The green fairy chuckled. "Yup! Anyways, moving onto their personality...Children of Destiny are extremely stupid and absent-minded, and most fairies, if a Kokiri, desert them quicker than they would a Hylian. But the Children of Destiny grow more and more smarter and more skilled in combat as they age. Well, for a Kokiri, they wouldn't age, so you get what I'm sayin', but if a Hylian...back to you, Ed."_

_"Thanks, Bob. There are also extremely rare cases when Children of Destiny are stupid and absent-minded for quite a time, but then at random points in their life, they can grow more skilled and smart than any other Child of Destiny. This random period of time don't last too long, hehe. Then they go back to being stupid and absent-minded."_

"Hey, Navi?" Link's voice broke through her thoughts.

"Yeah?" Navi mumbled. Could it be that Link was a Child of Destiny? Well, he could be a little dim-witted and as for absent-mindness...well, Link covered that a little bit too. The Wolfos, as well. Link could've never done that before. It all added up. Link _was _a Child of Destiny, and was a rare case too.

"Shouldn't we get moving? You've been um, staring at the particular piece of grass for like, five minutes."

Navi felt numbed as she followed Link though the maze. A newfound feeling was growing. Was it perhaps respect? Navi was silent, thoughts whirling through her mind.

"Hey, Nav, I think we're here."

There was a huge triforce telepad with a strange sign on it. Farther than that was Saria, sitting on a tree stump.

"You're here, Link! Finally...I wanted to teach you a song."

Link stared disbelievingly at Saria. "I got lost in the woods, fought a Wolfos, found my way out of a maze just to learn a stinkin' song!!!"  
  
Saria glared at him. "Fine, then, turn around and leave, and all your work will be a waste."  
  
"Sure," Link said cheerfully, turning around.

"Wait!" Saria called. "Ok, I'll give you some broken Deku Sticks."

Link stopped in his tracks and looked thoughtfully towards Saria. "Give me a dozen Deku Seeds, and you got a deal."

Saria grumbled but slapped the Deku Seeds on Link's hand and pushed some Deku Sticks into Link's other hand. Link , satisfied, stuck them in his pouch and took out his ocarina.

"The song I'm going to teach you is called Saria's Song," Saria explained.

Link tried hard to suppress a snigger.

"Ok, go on." he managed to say.

"You see, when you play this song, you can talk with me with the ocarina."

Link nodded.

"The ocarina is..." Saria leaned closer. "...magic..."

Link stared, dumbfounded. "Wha? Magic?"

Saria looked like she was going to explode.

"Magic, you dolt!" Saria snapped. "Don't tell me you don't know the definiton of "magic"!"

Link grinned. "Of course I do...it's um...like....uh...."

Saria started to turn a bright red. "Ok, I'm just going to teach you the song, ok?"

Link nodded, putting the ocarina to his mouth.

_Dumdumdumdumdumdum_

Link followed along perfectly, leaving Saria stupefied.

"How do you learn that so well?" she demanded. "I thought I'd have to spend all day trying to teach you. Well, anyways, now that you've learned the song, do get out of here."

Link slowly absorbed the information. After five minutes, he finally spoke.

"I dunno." Link slowly took in the rest. "Oh, you want me to...to leave...ah...ok...bye.."

Link and Navi left, leaving Saria looking huffy.


	13. Kakariko Village

Navi and Link headed up the stairs leading to Kakariko. Link was humming Saria's Song while Navi was trying to sort out her thoughts.

There were Cuccos everywhere, and workers running around in slow-motion. There was a tree with a large man leaning against it. He looked angry and his arms were crossed. Link jogged up to him.

"Hey mister, why are you angry?"

Navi was about to point out that that was rude, but the man looked like he was heaving a lot off his shoulders telling Link.

"You wanna know why I'm so angry?" the man challenged.

"Yeah," Link answered, looking unaffected by the man's glare.

"Fine. My lazy workers won't even work! They're as dim-witted as Stalchilds!"

Link flinched at the word, "Stalchilds".

"I can't get them to work! All they do is laze about and ask me to give them a raise in their salaries. Bah! They're worthless, ignorant pigs, I tell you!"

"Yeah, uh mister, can you tell us where Death Mountain Trail is?" Navi butted in.

"What the heck is that...thing?" the man said in wonder, pointing at Navi.

"You know what, I'm not really sure," Link admitted.

Navi fumed silently. "I'm a fairy, sir."

The man smiled. "A polite one, too. My name's Charles. Death Mountain Trail is located over there."

"Um...where?"

"I just pointed to it. There."

"Where?"

"There."

"Where???"

"THERE!" Charles answered loudly, pointing.

"Thanks, sir," Navi said quickly, floating over to the gate. Link followed. There was a worker who blocked their way on the steps.

"Can you please move, sir?" Navi asked politely.

The worker ignored Navi.

"Hey dude, surf's up!" Link exclaimed. "Gnarly wave!"

"Totally tubalar!!!" he responded, leaping off the steps, getting out a huge surfboard. "Lake Hylia, here I come!"

"Wow," said Navi, impressed, "-nice call, Link."

"What? Hey, what's he doing? I wanted to go too!" Link ran down the steps and tripped on the last one. Navi grunted and started floating over towards the gate. Link would catch up in a few moments.

Or so she thought. At night Link still hadn't shown up.

_Where is Link?_ Navi thought, flying over to the steps. Then she heard a shout and looked up. There was Link, completely soaked, holding a surfboard with various Cucco designs.

"Link!" Navi gasped, flying over to him. "Where on Hyrule were you?"

Link grinned. "Lake Hylia, of course!"

"I didn't know that you would actually do it!" Navi said angrily, exasperated. "Oh no...it's starting to rain!"

Indeed, rain was falling lightly.

"We better go find some shelter, Link. C'mon."

Link saw the guard flee for some shelter too, leaving the gate unprotected.

"Hey Navi..." Link said, "...let's go into that house by the gate."

Navi, however, noticed the gate too. "Hey Link...let's climb up that gate."

Navi floated easily over the gate. Link looked strained. Link swung a hand and gripped one of the cold, wet bars firmly and bolstered himself up and got a grip on another bar with his other hand. Link's legs were dangling in the air.

"You can do it, Link!" Navi cheered.

Link fell down in a heap.

"Maybe not," Navi sighed. "C'mon, Link, we haven't got a lot of time! It'll stop raining soon, and the guard will come back!"

Link struggled, got up and started looking around.

"What?? Link, what are you doing?" Navi flew over to Link, confused.

"You'll see," Link said, grinning, squinting through the rain. There was a lookout tower and some rope.

"Yes!" Link whooped in joy and clambered up the ladder. Navi flew up to Link.

"What are we doing, Link?"

Link didn't respond, but slung the rope over his shoulder and went back down the ladder. He tied a knot firmly on the Kokiri sword's hilt, took the other end, tied it to his waist, and then threw the sword as hard as he possibly could over the gate.

Navi gaped. The sword embedded deeply into the rock over the gate, tugging Link. Link slammed into the gate.

"OW. That wasn't supposed happen..." Link groaned, getting up. Navi was still silent and amazed. It would also take someone with super strength to manage to throw the Kokiri sword so far and bury it so deeply into rock.

Link shook himself up and pulled himself up the gate. It was easier, seeing the fact that the rope was tugging him back. Navi cheered. How did Link figure that out? Link untied the rope on his waist and on the sword hilt.

"Uh oh...uh, Navi.."

"Yeah?"

"Um, the sword's stuck."

Navi rolled her eyes and floated over to it.

"1....2....3...PULL!"

Link obeyed, stuck his foot on the rock, gripped the Kokiri sword tightly by the hilt and pulled as hard as he could. Link went flying back and landed hard on the ground. He groaned.

"Ow...ow...ow...."

"Quickly, Link! Get up!" Navi buzzed around Link's eyes.

"Ahh...I see a bright light flashing before my eyes..." Link sighed, relaxed.

ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz....Link was snoring!

Navi couldn't hold it any longer.

"Wake up you useless, ignorant, fat lazy oaf of a boy!"

Link's eyes flickered, but he remained on the ground, motionless, with the rain hitting his face hard.

Navi wanted so much to leave Link, but she knew she couldn't. What would Link do without her? Probrably be dead after five minutes. Instead, she floated over to the sword.

"Well..I can't expect Link to pull this wonderful, legendary, only-a-really-brave-boy-can-pull-it-out-sword...hmm...I guess I'll just go back to Kokiri Forest and ask Mido to help..."

Navi glanced at Link. She could see his face turn a deep, furious red.

"Yeah...only Mido, the great big boss of the Kokiri, who none can defeat can pull it out...."

Link's hands were curling into fists and his snoring increased.

"I mean, he's so much better than Li-"

Link got up angrily, marched over to the rock, rubbed his hands together, gripped them firmly around the sword's hilt and pulled.

With ease, the sword slid out.

"Let's get going," grumbled Link, putting the sword back in it's scabbard.

Navi smiled.


	14. Tektites and Azarn

Navi and Link looked in wonder at all the huge boulders and the landscape. It was rough and hard, leaving Link's feet battered and bruised despite his thick Kokiri boots. It had stopped raining a while ago, leaving the air clear and slightly misty. Navi shivered, and then saw something jumping up and approaching.

"Link! Look out! It's a Tektite! Hit it with your sword!" Navi flew out of the way.

Link yawned, took out his sword and shield and watched as the four-legged creature jump into his path, shrieking.

_Shirnggg._

The sword slid easily through the Tektite, cutting it in half. It gave one more shrill war cry as it disappeared, leaving a blue rupee. Link bent down to pick it up.

_Laeebbbiii._

Link whipped around, sword in hand, shield in the other.

There were three Tektites approaching quickly. Link gulped.

Navi, however, was undaunted. She was getting so sleepy, and she longed to just rest in the soft, caressing leaves of the non-Deku Nut section of the Great Deku Tree. Navi floated in the air, sleeping soundly. Note: Fairies sleep while they're in the air. At least, in this fan fic.

Meanwhile, down below, Link was slashing away, his sword constantly moving, and Tektites approaching quickly.

"Navi? I need help!" Link cried out shrilly. When he didn't here his fairy answer, Link's spirits washed away like soap and water. Link stabbed his sword in the attacking Tektite and waited for Navi to reply. When she didn't, Link started to retreat and backed into a small corner. There was a strange-looking rock with tiny circles on it. Strange as it seemed, the rock was _breathing._ Link poked it with a finger curiously.

At once, the rock lifted itself. No, it wasn't a rock, it was strange creature with big blue eyes and arms...and short stout, legs. It's head was enormous; nearly as big as Link's entire body.

"Huh?" it groaned. "What happened?"

Link screamed and cowered in a corner. The thing noticed Link.

"Eh? Who are you? I'm Azarn, a Goron."

Link peeked out from his fingers. "A Goron?"

Azarn laughed. "Why, boy, haven't you learned anything? Yes, a Goron." the twinkle in his eyes seemed to dim. "A rather hungry one, too. What are you doing here?"

"I'm Link," the Kokiri replied nervously, "I was chased by-"

Link suddenly raised his shield as a Tektite leaped upon him. "Tektites!" he squeaked. The Goron chuckled and raised a giant fist and slapped the Tektite.

The Tektite squealed in pain and scurried off. "Tektites are regular little pests around the mountain. Just chase 'em off. They're real easy to scare, y'see. Try that one. You don't even have to use your sword." Azarn explained.

A Tektite was jumping towards Link.

Link made a baby face and stuck out his tongue. The Tektite squeaked in horror and leaped away rapidly.

"Nice one," the Goron laughed. He offered Link a high-five. Link accepted it and soon they were laughing together like old friends.

Meanwhile, Navi was stirring.

"Ah...what a relaxing sleep...wait a minute....where's Link? Oh no! Link! Shoot, I lost him!"

Navi started flying towards the corner, muttering to herself shamefully.

"You're such a terrible fairy," she scolded herself, "-how can you leave Link alone? He's probrably whimpering and half-starved by now..."

Navi heard Link's voice.

"Hahaha, no! You must be kiddin' me! You actually went into the crater of the volcano???"

Then Navi heard another voice.

"Yeah! It was so soothing, the warm, relaxing heat, and the bubbling, oozing lava..."

"Link!" Navi cried out. Link and Azarn stepped out of the shadows.

"Oh, hi, Navi," Link said in surprise. "Where were you? This is my friend, Azarn. He's a Goron."

Navi was surprised to see Link looking perfectly fine and happy, but there was an odd number of bruises on his arms and face.

"I...I dozed off," Navi muttered, blushing. She tactfully changed the subject. "How'd you get all those bruises?"

Link grinned. "Big Goron hugs."

"C'mon, guys, let's go to Goron City." the Goron interrupted. "Darunia will give you a big warm, welcome."

They followed the trail, Azarn slapping any approaching Tektites and Link sticking his tongue out. Soon, Tektites didn't dare go into their path. There was a small platform with a strange circle of rocks and some stairs leading into darkness.

"Ahh..." Azarn sniffed the air. "Home...follow me, guys."

The Goron, the Kokiri, and the fairy went up the steps and into the darkness.


	15. Goron City

The Goron smiled happily and led Link and Navi towards another Goron.  
  
"What, Azarn?" the Goron asked grumpily.  
  
"These two would like to see Darunia."  
  
"Darunia?" the Goron frowned. "He's really angry, today, Azarn. He's waiting for the messenger of the Royal Family to come."  
  
"But these two really need to see them," Azarn insisted unhappily. The other Goron sighed.  
  
_Grrrrrrrrrrrr..._  
  
Link jumped. "What was that sound?!?!?!"  
  
Azarn smiled weakly. "My stomach. Oh...I'm so hungry...well, never mind about me...I'll lead you to Darunia."  
  
"Just a minute, Azarn. I'll do it...besides, you're the chief advisor of Darunia...go order those young Gorons over there to try and blow up the big rock blocking the way to Dodongo's Cavern."  
  
Azarn looked relieved. "Thanks, Lerap."  
  
The Goron grinned, and clapped his hands on Link's shoulders.  
  
"C'mon, fellow. What's your name, by the way?"  
  
"Link," the Kokiri mumbled.  
  
"We'll take the steps. But I'm just going to warn you, because a week ago, a really foolish young Goron jumped off that fence all the way down to the bottom floor. Still unconscious...his mother was in tears...as if Darunia hadn't had enough on his shoulders...so never jump down, ok, um...what's your name again...Slink. Slink? Where are you?"  
  
Link was climbing the fence and peering down. "Wow...what a deep fall."  
  
"No! Slink! Get off there!" Lerap cried out, alarmed. "You're going to fall and break your neck, Slink!"  
  
He made a desperate grab at Link.  
  
It's not a very comforting thought to be on a thin fence knowing that a Goron had fallen four floors below and fell unconscious, but it's even more uncomfortable when a big pair of Goron hands are coming to snatch you.  
  
The Kokiri screamed. "AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"  
  
Link lost his balance and started to fall, air hissing in his ears.  
  
_Well, Link thought, if this is what it's like to be on the verge of death, it's not that bad, actually. The air's so nice, whizzing by. I could almost do a cartwheel or something._  
  
Link did.  
  
A Goron on the third floor heard Link's scream and woke up. He gazed in wonder as Link performed a cartwheel in the air. He ran out to the steps and out to the first floor to catch Link.  
  
Navi was already down at the first floor.  
  
"I was expecting this," Navi groaned. Link past the second floor...heading down to the first...  
  
_Crunch._  
  
Link had landed into the Goron's open arms. Dazed, the Goron dropped down.  
  
At once, dozens of Gorons crowded the floor. Link rolled out of the Goron's grasp.  
  
The Goron's eyes flickered and opened. He got up.  
  
"Oh, my baby!" a female voice cried out. A thin Goron pushed herself out of the crowd and hurried to the blinking Goron.  
  
"Mum, stop it. You're embarrasing me.." the Goron said, blushing.  
  
"Oh, Mikal, I thought you'd never get up!" the Goron had long eyelashes, was thin and short, but her head was slightly curvier, and was that..._lipstick_ on her mouth?!?!??!  
  
Link and Navi had backed out of the conversation into another Goron. The Goron's voice was much deeper, and it brought silence to the entire city.  
  
"Who bumped me?" he demanded.  
  
Link was terrified. He hid behind Navi..or rather Navi's shadow.  
  
"Pardon me, sir, we've come to collect the Spiritual Stone of Fire." Navi squeaked bravely.  
  
The Goron frowned. "You too? Well, no! At least when all this destruction has cleared up, I'll give your request a chance, but of all times, now, NO!"  
  
"May we ask who you are and what the problem is, sir?" Navi squeaked, getting less and less brave.  
  
The Goron snorted. "I'm Darunia. Us Gorons eat rocks, y'see, in Dodongo's Cavern. But there's a huge rock blcoking the way and monsteres galore in there! Everybody's so tired and hungry! We can't harvest our bomb flowers, as well!"  
  
Darunia turned an angry red. "Unless you can do something about it, I'll kick you outta here!"  
  
"Play Zelda's Lullaby! Prove that you know the Royal Family!" Navi hissed in Link's ear.  
  
Link got out his ocarina and played it. It seemed to soothe Darunia a little, and he seemed to cool down-a tiny fraction.  
  
"Well, if you're from the Royal Family, then you are to help remove the big rock and destroy all the monsters. If my people agree, then I will then give you Goron's Ruby, our treasure."  
  
"Remove the rock and destroy the monsters?" he repeated, stupefied.  
  
"Yes," Darunia agreed. "Now, if this boy succeeds, my people, shall we give him our beloved treasure?"  
  
There were murmurs in the crowd. Finally, the Goron named Mikal spoke up.  
  
"I think we should, Darunia. I would've stayed unconscious had he not screamed."  
  
Darunia gave Mikal a piercing stare. "I agree with Mikal."  
  
Other Gorons started to speak up.  
  
"Yes! Give the boy the Spirtual Stone if he rids us of our hunger!" the Gorons chanted.  
  
"I think you should, Darunia." Lerap admitted.  
  
Azarn grinned. "I, as well."  
  
"But Lord Darunia!" a Goron protested, "-the Goron's Ruby, it's our race's greatest pride!"  
  
"Oh, be quiet, Balai, I, Lord Darunia, favour Mikal's opinon." another Goron said. His voice sounded old and wise.  
  
Darunia bowed at once.  
  
"Yes, father."  
  
Link's feelings were mixed-first of all, he was happy, after all, they would let him have the second stone if he destroyed the monsters in the cavern, but he was also disappointed because he, of all people had to do it, and he was also confused because the Goron that had just spoke was Darunia's father.  
  
"All right, boy," Darunia agreed, "We will give you it if you destroy the monsters."  
  
Link gulped and nodded.  
  
"Now...I will also give you something nice if you make my people happy."  
  
Link did not anticipate this. He stuttered. "But-but.."  
  
"I didn't say you had to, boy," Darunia chortled, "-just to make my people feel a lil' better."  
  
All of the Goron's gazes were locked on Link.  
  
"Do something! Use your ocarina!" Navi hissed in Link's ear.  
  
Link got out his ocarina and played the song Malon had taught him.  
  
Darunia didn't move during the entire time, and neither did his people. "We're Gorons-not farm animals." He looked insulted and his anger seemed to be cranked up one notch.  
  
A bead of sweat dropping on Link's ocarina. He started to play Saria's Song. The minute the first note sounded, every single Goron started chattering loudly. A foot kicked Link in the leg. Link looked around, still playing his ocarina and saw a Goron dancing wildly, his feet slamming into other Gorons. Darunia's face broke into a big smile. He started to dance like crazy, knocking down torches and other Gorons.  
  
When Link finally removed the ocarina from his mouth and placed it back in his pouch, Darunia was still humming it.  
  
"Thank you!" Darunia cried out breathlessly, "-that was the best song I've ever heard! Here, take this!"  
  
A small gold bracelet popped out of nowhere and magically fitted itself onto Link's wrist.  
  
"What the heck is this?"  
  
"It's called a Goron Bracelet. You can pick up Bomb Flowers easily now!"  
  
Link, however, was staring at the shining gold. "Wow...how much is the gold?"  
  
Navi acted quickly. "Thanks for the bracelet, Sir Darunia. We'll get going now!"  
  
Link followed Navi up the stairs. Navi was murmuring to herself.  
  
"Well, we better go get a Goron guide to help lead us to Dodongo Cavern," Navi sighed.  
  
"At your, service, miss," Lerap laughed, coming out of a corner.  
  
"Whoa! I didn't notice you, Lerap." Navi said, surprised. "But thanks," she added.  
  
Lerap grinned, and ushered them up the stairs. "C'mon, now!" 


	16. The Entrance to Dodongo's Cavern

Lerap led them to a huge rock outside of Goron City. There was sign labeled, "**Dodongo's Cavern**".

Link, however, pointed to the rock in curiosity and asked, "What's that?"

Lerap laughed and slapped Link on the shoulder.

"For a second there, I thought you couldn't read!" Lerap laughed, pointing to the sign.

Link looked very uncomfortable.

Lerap went over towards a Goron who was trying kick the big rock to pieces.

Link quickly unsheathed his sword and cut the sign off cleanly and cheerfully smiled at Lerap, who turned back to Link at the precise moment the sign went flying off.

"Well, our top Goron can't seem to get rid of this rock. Sorry guys, but I have to get back to Goron City. Good luck!"

Lerap rolled into a ball and made his way up the trail.

"Impressive," Link concluded, "-such incredible speed. Gorons must be adapted to their mountain home."

Navi stared, goggle-eyed at Link. "Did you...did you just..."

"Yes, Navi? I beg your pardon, but I did not catch the last of your wise, wise words."

Navi nearly fainted. The conversation rang in her ears, the conversation between to the two fairies, Ed and Bob, the most popular fairies on CFN. A thought came to mind.

"Link! Punch the rock with all you got!" Navi ordered.

"Why, Navi," Link chortled, "-that'd be frankly impossible to destroy the rock with only pure manpower."

Navi knew that random time of strength and intelligence wouldn't last long, and her head was getting dizzy with all the smart talk.

"Just punch the stinking rock!" Navi screamed. Link looked surprised at this outburst.

"Of course, my dear Navi, but my calculations say that-"

"PUNCH IT!"

Link looked disgruntled, but punched the rock.

There were several growing cracks in the rock now. Four were growing at an alarming rate. Link backed away.

The rock crumbled into several smaller pieces, leaving the entrance clear.

Link looked dizzy. He swayed slightly, and then suddenly woke up. He straightened himself up.

"Yo, what happened, Nav?"

Navi was amazed. It was like Link had two completely different personalities.

"Hey, cool! The entrance is open!" Link ran in the other direction towards Kakariko Village.

"No, Link! The entrance is over here!" Navi cried out, regaining her senses.

"Oh, right." Link started running back. The Goron, however, halted him.

"Holy Farore! How did you do that???"

"Do what?" Link asked, confused.

"You punched that rock to pieces!"

"Me?"

"Yes, you!"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes!"

"I don't think so."

"You did! I saw it with my very own eyes!"

Link got this strange, blank look. Navi looked carefully at it. It looked as if Link was struggling with something.

"Link?" she said softly.

"What? No, I didn't." Link told the Goron.

The Goron frowned, and then sighed. "Hmm...well, go in...we're wasting time."

The strange look in Link's eyes disappeared, replaced with the same usual spark.

The pair entered Dodongo's Cavern.

* * *

Author's Note: Should I make Link serious when he turns into an adult?


	17. Fire Keese

There was a stone wall blocking the way, and Navi cursed.

"There's no bombs to blow it up...darn...shoot, what we going to do?"

Link was making farting noises with his armpit.

_Honestly, that boy is going to drive me insane one day...he probrably already has..._Navi thought to herself.

Link yawned, and started to lean against the stone wall-but he fell straight through it!

"Link!" Navi cried out. She flew quickly towards the stone wall.

_I'm going to hit it, but who cares?_

Navi took a deep breath and plunged towards the stone wall...though, the stone wall. Link was already there, poking his finger experimentally in the illusion of a wall.

"Hehe! This is fun!" Link started to going back and forth.

"Now you see me.." Link jeered, coming out to Navi's side, then going through again, "...now you don't!"

"Just get back here!" Navi gasped, irritated. Link stopped in front of her.

"Ok, ok. Which way do we go?"

"We cross this bridge, jump on the platform, ignore the Beamos, hop on the other platform, bomb the entrance to find a Deku Scrub waiting to sell us a Deku Shield if yours burned out and then bomb the other entrance and go through there." Navi answered automatically.

"How'd you know all that?" Link asked doubtfully.

"Who said that was actually true? I was just making a guess."

They did crossed the bridge, jumped onto the rising platform while Navi warned Link about the lava below and then hopped into the platform with the Beamos.

"Careful, Link," Navi warned. "Don't get caught with it's searching eye."

Link nodded and bent down to tie his shoelace.

"Hey, I thought Kokiri boots didn't have shoelaces," Navi noted.

"Nah, they're buttons. But they blend in with the colour, so you can't notice them. Hehehe. Handy if you can't tie your shoelaces."

Navi's eyes narrowed. "But you can, can't you?"

Link shifted uncomfortably. "Yeah, of course I can."

_Bzzztt._

Link hopped in the air, nursing his injured foot.

"Shoot! The Beamos saw us! Run, Link!"

Link started running in circles around the Beamos getting chased by the laser beam.

"No, Link! Jump off!" Navi screeched. Link jumped off into the lava.

"No, you nimcompoop, not into the _lava_!" Navi yelled, exasperated. Link slowly trudged out of the lava, back onto the rough ground.

"I get hit by a Beamos beam and then fell into lava and you're yelling at me?" Link grumbled.

"Yes."

"Can't we just kill the Beamos with my sword?" Link whined as he clambered up the ladder.

"Go ahead and try," Navi snapped.

Link shrugged and walked over to nearest beamos and struck it in the eye with his sword.

The Beamos blinked at Link for a second, shook uncontrollably, and it's head starting spinning.

"Get away, Link!" Navi screamed.

Link dove out of the way back into the lava as the Beamos exploded in a puff of smoke.

"What is with you and lava?" Navi sighed as Link brushed off the remaining burning bits and climbing up the ladder again.

"I dunno," Link shrugged it off. "I just take the plunge and in I go."

Navi didn't bother replying. She heard something move.

Two Stalfos swiftly came out from a tunnel towards Link, their crisom blades pulsing with a dark, radiant glow.

Navi swallowed hard. Even a skilled Hylian Knight could only take on one Stalfo at a time with a lot of practice.

"Link! Run!"

Then Navi noticed she was talking to thin air. Link had left her!

"Oh, that's just great," Navi muttered as she zipped out of the cavern. Link was at the entrance.

"Oh, hi Navi, what took you so long?" Link asked innocently.

"What are you talking about???" Navi yelled angrily. "I could've gotten killed back there! Why did you tell me you were leaving?"

Link seemed genuinely surprised. "But Navi, I told you I was leaving!" he protested.

"C'mon," Navi sighed. "Let's stop fighting and just go in. I bet the Stalfos are gone now."

Link raised up his palms. "Whatever you say, but I'm not the one who started to the fight."

Link walked in, leaving Navi angry and tired. They met at the tunnel where the Stalfos came out. Luckily, the Stalfos had deemed them good and gone and had left, but Navi was still sharp and listening carefully for any movements.

They walked throught the tunnel to find a burning platform and a yellow eye right across.

"Hey, Link, shoot that eye with your slingshot. I'm pretty sure something will happen."

Link rummaged around in his pouch and found his faithful slinghsot.

"Oh no...Navi, I only have two shots left...."

"It's all right, we only need one." Navi said wearily.

Link fitted a Deku Seed and slammed it straight in the eye.

Navi heard a small rustling, and then some shrieking.

There was only one monster with that cry. Navi shrill scream rang through the cavern.

**Goron City**

"Brother!" a Goron shouted. "What was the hideous scream?"

"I don't know! But it sounded like it was coming from Dodongo's Cavern! Let's go!"

**Dodongo's Cavern**

About seven or eight Keese came out from a small cage which unlocked when Link hit the eye and headed straight towards Li-no, towards the fire!

"Yeah, something did happen!" Link shouted.

"That's murder!" Navi gasped. "Why would they want to go in the fire?"

One by one, fire slowly spread on the Keese's bodies, but they did not waver in the air-no, they looked even more menacing with fire on their wings, and the biggest one, supposedly the leader, opened it's mouth and let out a shrill war cry, sending cold, icy fear down Link's back and something like a shock to Navi.

Navi was momentarily speechless. The Keese were getting closer, and their fangs snapped hungrily.

Link stood still.

"Link!" Navi cried.

Link's mouth opened, and he toppled over, still frozen in the same postion, his mouth still open.

Navi flew towards Link's eyes and started fluttering madly. She knew her wings would bother him. Link started to stir, mumbling.

"Huh? What happened, Navi?"

Navi ducked just a huge Keese swept over to her. "Keese! Fire Keese!"

Link's eyes widened as five or six dove towards him. Link rolled out of the way just in time and scrambled to his feet, holding up his shield.

"No, Link! Put it away! It'll burn!" Navi screamed, dodging some Keese.

"But I thought you said it was ma-"

"It's still wood, dummy! Fire burns wood!"

Link reluctantly put away his shield and unsheathed his sword. Luckily, he managed to stop the first one by slashing straight down. The Keese fluttered in the air for a bit, and before it came down in ashes, Link caught some of it's fire on his sword.

"Cool," Link mumbled.

Navi was angrily trying to divert the attention from Link like what she was doing with the Stalchilds and Queen Gohma. She flew up to a high corner with a huge spiderweb. Careful not to get caught, she started teasing the Keese.

"Nyah, nyah! You're too slow to catch me!" Navi jeered. As she hoped, two Keese flew up in rage, steadily gaining speed. Navi ducked just in time, letting the Keese slam straight into the web.

The web wrapped itself around them despite the burning fire eating away at it. Slowly, it sagged...and then it fell down to the ground, the Keese trapped in it.

Link was currently stabbing and jabbing away at the Keese.

"Two...three.."

Navi was cheering, and did not notice a Keese quietly sneak up on her.

"_Arugghhhh_!!!" Navi's cry of pain rang through the chambers. That Keese was the leader of them, and then swooped towards Link, who was fighting off the second last one.

The Keese was gigantic-far to big for the Kokiri sword to kill in one hit.

"Navi???" Link cried out, looking around, ignoring the advancing Keese.

Navi struggled to get up from the ground and the first thing she saw was Link scrambling away from a huge Fire Keese.

"Use your shield!" Navi gasped, trying to fly.

Link looked at Navi, confused. The Fire Keese took it's opportunity, knocked Link to the floor and setting him on fire as well.

The Kokiri started to run blindly, bumping into into the walls and finally tripping down the lower area, where Navi was.

But the Keese made a bad mistake-it seemed to be enjoying Link's short trip staggering around and wasn't paying attention to Navi, who finally managed to get up in the air.

Navi started to gain speed, aiming for the back of the Keese.

The Keese, however, did not notice anything.

Navi was getting closer....

The Keese whirled around just in time to see Navi, with her burnt wing, slam into it with all her might.

"That..." Navi panted, "was for my injured wing."

Link, who started to recover, woke up in time to see Navi nail the Keese. He raced up the ladder, Kokiri sword in hand, and then tripped, falling back down, his Kokiri sword flying in the air and landing straight in the middle of the Keese. The Keese let out a shrill cry, and started to burn in bright, red flames.

Navi grinned weakly. "And I suppose that was for you."

Then, for the first time, Link spotted Navi's black wing.

"Oh my goshhhhhh!" Link started run around the room, screaming at the top of his lungs in a high-pitched voice. "My fairy's dead! My fairy's dead! SOMEBODY HEEEELLLLPPPP!!!"

**Goron City**

Darunia heard Link's cry. He needed help? Sure, he'd give him all the help he would need.

"Attention all Gorons! Whether you are trying to ignore your hunger, or ignore your pangs of hunger, or your stomach growling, let us go to Dodongo's Cavern and wait for the boy to return!"

**Dodongo's Cavern**

"Stop it, Link, you're being hysterical," Navi groaned, trying to ignore the pain.

Link screeched to a stop in front of Navi.

"I'm okay," Navi assured him. "I'm _alive. _"

"What? Then fly."

"You can't expect me to heal that fast," Navi grunted.

"Just try, maybe it'll help."

Navi didn't want to-she didn't want to admit to the boy that she wasn't okay. It had taken a lot of energy out of her when she knocked down the Keese. But she had to give it a try.

She fluttered her wings and with a lot of effort managed to get up in the air for a while, but then collapsed almost immediately.

"Tell you what, why don't you just hold me?"

Link shrugged, and nodded.

Suddenly, Navi had a memory of their first encounter.

"Um, never mind." Navi said quickly. "I'll rest in your hat."

Link looked disappointed. "Ok.."

Navi was lifted up and then placed under Link's hat. Link yawned, and then frowned when he heard Navi speak.

"Ewww....it smells in here...and what are those white specks? Can that be dandruff!???!?! Ewwwww!!!! Link, when's the last time you showered???"

Link mumbled something quietly.

Navi thought it would be better if she didn't know.

"Hey, Nav, look, the platform isn't burning anymore!" Link exclaimed, jumping over to the other side.

"Well, I don't think I can see, can I?" Navi said sarcastically, trying to hold herself steady.

They continued walking through a dark passageway until finally, Link found some light. It was hot and humid, and Link felt the stench of...lava.

"Navi? I don't think this is good."


	18. Is My Sword Plastic?

Stalfos. The same two. Well, Link couldn't really tell because Stalfos all really looked the same, but a gleam of recognition flared in the Stalfos black, cold, eyes.

Navi, sensing Link's discomfort, started talking.

"What is it, Link?"

Link didn't know they were called Stalfos, and tried to describe them best he could.

"They're....big..."

Navi didn't like this definition. "Yes...?"

"They have bones....and a big shield and a pointy red sword..."

Navi swallowed. "Do...do...they look like big Stalchilds?"

"Yes!"

Navi, who felt safe in Link's hat, felt a sudden chill. "Those are Stalfos, Link! The ones we saw earlier! Run!"

Faster, however, was the reactions of the Stalfos. One of them jumped high in the air and landed right in front of the exit. The other followed suit but instead landed right in front of Link.

Navi, who was too weak to fly, tried to squint through the light green material. She could make a fuzzy image of the Stalfos in front of Link.

She could almost spot a grin spreading on the Stalfos face.

"Don't just stand, Link! Get moving!"

Link was frozen to the ground.

Navi watched helplessly as the Stalfos started to..._show off? _

It swung it's blade at Link, and Navi thought it was over.

But the blade missed Link by an inch, and the Stalfos let out a strange low type of growl.

The Stalfos raised it's blade high up in the air, and brought it down Link's head.

But on purpose, it stopped one centimetre from Link's hat.

Navi sighed with relief.

Now the Stalfos looked angry. It growled fiercely, as if expecting Link to cower or run away, but Link was still frozen, gaping.

The Stalfos paused, and angrily charged-for real, at Link.

Luckily, Link seemed to finally wake up, and when he saw the blade charging forward, instinct took over.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

Navi flinched, trying to bury herself in the material to block out the sound. But she couldn't abandon Link right now, when he needed help so badly.

"Halt, you fiend!" Navi yelled in her most angry voice.

It came out muffled, but Navi had yelled so loudly that it didn't really seem to matter.

Strangely, the Stalfos did come to a stop.

With new hope, Navi continued.

"A monster could not sink so low to defeat a...weak, defenceless, lazy..." Navi was not relying on bad adjectives, only what she thought of Link. "...boy! Look at him, for...um...Ganondorf's sake, all he has is a scrap of wood to defend himself and a puny little sword, which is made of....um...I mean...it's a toy sword, too!"

Link, who was nodding, approving of all of it, suddenly looked offended.

"Hey! I'm not weak, defenceless, or lazy! My sword isn't plastic! Navi, you told me that the Great Deku Tree's wood is mag-"

"Silence!" Navi snapped, hoping Link didn't blow their cover. "You are a terrible Stalfos! I wouldn't tremble at the sight of you!"

The Stalfos seemed affronted, but then it's shoulders seemed to slump slightly.

A bone popped out from it's hand, and then another. The Stalfos seemed to whine in a child-like way.

Navi understood what it was saying. "But the boy is disturbing King Dodongo's rest! He ordered us to kill any intruders and bring them to him!"

"You would obey a Dodongo?" Navi asked quietly, enjoying every minute. "I'm sorry, I didn't know respect was popular among Stalfos."

The Stalfos stiffened. It opened it's mouth again to speak, but Navi interrupted it quickly.

"Let this boy go and face his doom with the Dodongo, not a worthless pile of bones!" Navi shouted.

The Stalfos did not reply and instead disappeared in smoke. The other one disappeared as well, leaving the exit clear.

Navi collapsed with happiness and relief on the green folds with only one word.

"Go."

Link was astounded at how easily Navi had managed to make the Stalfos disappear. He started walking towards the exit, still pondering, though about different things, like his sword.

_Is my sword really plastic? _


	19. Oh, not Again!

There was lava everywhere, slowly hitting the sides of the numerous platforms. Link gulped.

Navi had had enough of Link ignoring the fact she couldn't see through the hat.

"For Din's sake, Link, what is it?"

"Lava....lots and lots of it..and....there are...there are this lizard things." Link stuttered.

"Well, "lizard things" doesn't sound that bad, Link."

"No...you don't understand...there's a lot of lava..."

"Well, yeah, I know, you just told me, but exactly how much lava?"

"There are platforms...and the lizard things are coming nearer!"

Navi just couldn't possibly picture the scene Link was talking about.

"Link, take off your hat."

Link obeyed, gripped the hat by the top and pulled it off. Navi took a deep breath of fresh air before actually caring to look.

But when she did, she didn't like it.

Lava was spewing out from holes in the sides of the chamber, and the "lizard things" carried a sharp dagger and were hopping from platform to platform, getting closer to Link.

Navi swallowed hard. She turned to the way they had just come from to find cold, hard, metal bars blocking the way. All the way on the other side was an exit, also blocked with bars.

"There's only one way to do this, Link."

"Oooh, oooh, I know! I know! I have to beat those lizard things, right?"

Navi nodded, and shivered.

"Put back your hat, will you?"

"These things don't..."

"Breathe fire? Hopefully, no."

Link was in the process of unhooking his shield, but after he heard what Navi had said, he stopped and watched as the lizard thing came nearer.

Navi could see the lizard thing much clearer now, despite the material, because it was only one platform away. Suddenly, it made a movement Navi recognised-when it hopped, it's head automatically bent down.

"Llzalfos." Navi uttered softly.

Author's Note: Sorry that I'm barging in on the story here, just want to say that I think I spelt Llzalfos wrong. Oh well, back to the story.

Link heard Navi speak. "How do I beat them?"

"Use your shield-they don't breathe fire. Just lock them in combat and kill them with your sword. Try not to get hit."

The Llzalfo hopped over to the platform Link was standing on and immediately tried to cut Link with it's dagger.

Link raised his shield and watched as the dagger created a clean mark on the Kokiri symbol. Moments later, however, it vanished and just like the time with the Wolfos, was quickly replaced with fresh, new wood.

"Yeah, I'd say the Llzalfo engaged me into combat!"

Navi watched hopelessly. Link was on the defensive while the Llzalfo was on the offensive, and pretty soon Link would get tired.

Link started to look a little bit red and started to sweat.

Navi noticed this. "Link, stop! Try to get a hit in! You won't last long like this!"

Link made a stab and hit the Llzalfo in the stomach.

The Llzalfo was momentarily shocked, and Link, satisfied, pulled out his sword.

But the Llzalfo was only faking-it jumped to the next few platforms.

Link looked disappointed. "I was aiming for the Llzalfo's foot."

"No time for that! Go catch up with him!" Navi urged.

"But I don't wanna," Link protested. "There's lots and lots of lava, and I could fall in."

But as quick as a flash, the same Llzalfo jumped back to the platform from Link's back and snuck up quietly.

"I can get forever scarred by the lava!!!" Link whined.

"Oh, stop whining, you baby." Navi got an idea. "Look out! There's a Beamos right behind you and it saw you!"

Link immediately jumped to the next platform just as the Llzalfo brought it's dagger down.

"Whoa!" Navi gasped. "I didn't see that guy!"

"Hey, where's the Beamos?"

"Forget about that, there's a Llzalfo right there!"

Link waited at the platform patiently and the Llzalfo hopped over.

This time, Link, with Navi's encouraging and good advice, had the upper hand.

The Llzalfo quickly lunged at Link, it's dagger glistening in the light.

"Dodge stab!" Navi screamed. She didn't have any time to speak proper sentences.

Link sidestepped the Llzalfo's attack and slashed it on the back. The Llzafos got up and swayed slightly, dizzy.

"Advantage take kill!"

Link frowned.

"No time! Hit sword!"

Link processed the information. "Ok."

The Llzalfo collapsed to the ground. The dagger it was holding rolled out of it's claws into the lava, slowly heating up and melting.

"Wait one minute...wasn't there another one?"

"OWIIIIIEEEEE!!! Sacre bleu!!!!" Link screamed out.

"Hey, when did you learn to speak French?" Navi said suspicously.

"Whoopsies, I meant, OWWWIIIEEE!!!! THAT HURT!"

The remaining Llzalfo had snuck up behind Link and had cut him.

Fortunately, the only damage Link recieved was a very small scar, but his clothes had a huge rip in the back.

"Grrr...nobody touches da clothes...nobody..."

Link whipped around angrily and dropped his sword.

"Link, are you insane??? Pick up your sword!"

Link paid no attention to Navi and started a _catfight _between him and the Llzalfo.

The Kokiri's hands were a blur as they constantly moved up and down, and all Navi heard were the noises of someone getting slapped...hard.

Finally, after about ten minutes, Link stopped. He brushed his hands together and put his sword back in the scabbard.

As for the Llzalfo, it simply dropped to the floor.

Navi didn't say a thing. She had gotten used to Link's strange, miraculous outbursts. They went over to the exit which was now unblocked, it's metal bars gone.


	20. The Cloaked Figure in the Shadows

**Yay! 25 reviews! I've been twisting the story lately, and some things didn't actually really happen in the game-but that's why it's called fanfiction, right? Anyways, I'd like to thank Inversion, SilentVamp, and Kyrstal Fox for their daily reviews. You guys review in nearly all of the chapters! A little bit freaky, though. Muahahahaha, just kidding! Anybody else who reviewed, thanks! Now, on with the story! :-)**

* * *

"If you defeat me, you shall recieve a prize that will allow you to the mighty creature, King Dodongo. If you do not, you will be killed with no mercy and may not pass." 

The voice rang through the dark chamber, cold and sharp.

Link looked blankly.

"Who's there?"

A thing, clothed in a dark cloak, moved swiftly through the shadows.

Link giggled.

"Link, why are you laughing??? Didn't you hear what that guy said? Well, actually, I'm not even sure if it's even human!"

"No-it's just too funny! This is what I see in the scary movies! Like, this hidden figure warns you if you don't defeat him, then you get killed! The hero always ends up losing!"

"You-are-the-guy-who-is-trying-to-kill-him-how-can-you-laugh?" Navi said in one complete breath, staring at him.

"Oh yeah, I forgot." Link paused. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

He started running around in circles.

Navi watched disbelivingly at her partner._ How did I get paired with this guy?_

The cloaked figure stepped out, it's voice cold and unwavering. Navi wasn't sure if the thing was watching Link or not, seeing as it obviously wasn't showing it's face.

"You fool....do you dare deny my wrath? Surrender, and thy shall suffer a quick death, or fight to the end, and I shall slowly drain you of your energy."

Link ignored the figure and continued to run.

The figure seemed to get irritated. "Stop running like a coward and fight like a man!"

Link, once more, ignored him but spoke as he ran.

"Well, I'm only a boy, you see. So basically I can't."

Navi could feel the anger building up in the room.

The figure withdrew a long staff, with a purple orb on top of it.

Navi shivered. She could sense evil energy radiating from it.

"I suppose you have chosen a quick death," the figure drawled. "A wise choice."

Link shrugged. "Whatever suits you, m'man."

A blast of purple, dark energy flew out of the orb and nearly slammed into Link, who ran out of the way just in time.

"By Ganondorf's name," the figure cursed, "stop moving!"

Navi started to grow bored with Link running around, constantly evading the balls of energy while the figure cursed so much that it almost seemed to be a chant.

Finally, the figure stopped. "This is uselss. Boy, prepare to feel the wrath of the unavoidable Surfer Attack!"

Link pulled out a scuba suit and held his ground.

Jets of water started flowing out of the clothed figure.

"Wow!" Link cried out, astounded. "That guy's looks like he has some real potential for being a water hose."

The figure laughed. "I was, actually. Um...back to my vile, insane plots to kill you!"

The water level in the chamber started to rise rapidly, but Link stayed safe in the scuba suit.

"No matter! I got about seven or eight hours left to breathe in this super scuba suit." Link bubbled.

The figure had flew off the ground the minute it started conjuring up the water and had gone to the highest place possible, until the hood scraped across the ceiling.

"That's enough! I have other business to attend to! Argghhh! But you haven't defeated me, boy!"

The figure disappared in a wisp of smoke.

The water also vanished, and Link, who was swimming a little bit below the ceiling, fell down to the floor with a thud.

"Ow!"

Navi, who was stuck in Link's waterproof hat, breathed some fresh air as Link lifted his cap off his head.

"Oh, if feels so good to breathe in fresh air after staying in your stinky hat!"

Link, affronted, placed his hat back on and headed towards the chest that had appeared after the figure vanished.

Navi saw the outline of it. "Wow, Link! This will defeat the boss!"

"I'm not sure I even want to face the boss," Link mumbled, opening it.

A blast of light threw Link off his feet.

"Who knew there was danger in every treasure chest you opened," Link muttered as he went back to towards the chest. "First I get locked in, and then I get blown off. What's next?"

A beautiful velvet bag with a satin ribbon sat in Link's hands.

"Wow, Link! That's a bomb bag!"

Link frowned. "How much can it hold?"

"Twenty, I think."

"This tiny little thing? Wow."

Link opened it up to find a...note.

It said:

_Dear Winner,_

_You have successfully defeated the all-mighty , and thus you shall recieve a great and valuble prize, called the bomb bag. You shall find it deeper in the chest. This is made from a Dodongo's stomach, and will carry twenty bombs. _

_ Sincerely,_

_With best wishes,_

Link groaned. "It doesn't say who I defeated, or who wrote it!"

Navi shrugged. "Who cares? Grab the bag and let's go."

Link dug into the chest and found a small, bulging bag. It was grubby and worn-out.

"Oh, that's nice, compared to the bag I found the note in."

"C'mon Link, stop complaining and let's go!"

They started to had towards the exit when suddenly, a trapdoor opened and down they fell.

Link screamed.


	21. King Dodongo VS My Beloved Bomb Bag Link

Link fell straight down, and it was a wonder that his hat didn't fly off, and Navi was having a hard time staying to his head.  
  
Navi moaned, feeling a little bit sick as they landed.  
  
Link landed on his two feet, and at first, he wobbled unsteadily, and swayed slightly, but then straightened himself up, took off his boots and rubbed his feet tenderly.  
  
"Ow, that was real bad for the feet."  
  
A small, green, mist started twisting it's way from Link's feet, straight into the nostrils of King Dodongo, who was glaring at him.  
  
Unfortunately, Dodongos have a very keen sense of smell, and Link's feet weren't exactly the nicest thing around.  
  
King Dodongo started to choke.  
  
Link stopped. "Navi, stop coughing."  
  
"I'm not coughing!"  
  
"But what's making that noise then?"  
  
"Um...that's what frightens me."  
  
Link put his boots back on and then slowly turned his head to face a reeling King Dodongo. It had choked and coughed so much and felt so sick that it had fell unconscious.  
  
"Hey, someone killed King Dodongo for us!" Link exclaimed.  
  
Navi, faster than a blink of an eye, frowned doubtfully.

"Link, take off your hat, I want to see him."

Link kneeled beside King Dodongo and took of his hat to let Navi see him close up.

Navi examined King Dodongo's unconscious body.

"He's only knocked out, Link." Navi informed.  
  
"Why are you always the bearer of bad news?" Link muttered, but softly so Navi couldn't hear.  
  
"You should take this in advantage and kill him before he wakes up." Navi advised.  
  
"What? With this measly little sword? No way, it won't even pierce through his scaly skin."  
  
Navi was not impressed. "Come on, Link, at least try, and put back your hat."  
  
"I don't see why." Link frowned, putting his hat back on.  
  
"He can wake up any second now!"  
  
"Well, what do you think made him unconscious in the first place? Maybe we can do that again and ensure the fact that he won't wake up."  
  
"Hmm....let's see....an allergy of lazy Kokiri kids with no brain at all?" Navi suggested, her voice dripping with sarcasm.  
  
Link's brow furrowed. "Good idea, but I don't think so. I'm smart and active, so no go. Hmm....your odour?"  
  
"Fairies have a rather pleasant scent, unlike some people I know," Navi retorted, stung.  
  
"Not this one,"  
  
"Well, how about just plain old you?" Navi growled, and Link flinched at the anger in her voice.  
  
"That can't be too bad. I mean, we have to stay here for quite a while until that blue telepad shows up."  
  
Navi resigned herself to silence.  
  
Link felt something hot...really hot right behind him. It was warm and toasty, and made Link feel almost...giddy.  
  
_Roarrrrr!!!  
_  
Almost immediately, Link's feeling of joy vanished. He whipped around, sword and shield in hand. There was King Dodongo, furious that an intruder had snuck in without his knowing.  
  
King Dodongo reared up, and his mouth seemed to suck in the surroundings. Chunks of lava flew up from the nearby pit, mixing with some rocks.  
  
The creature swallowed it all with one loud gulp and blew fire, red, hot, flaming fire directly at Link.  
  
Link's pure instincts kicked in. A monster was one thing, but fire was another. He rolled out of the way just in time as the fire came rushing fowards. King Dodongo was at rage, and he curled up into a ball and started rolling around the room.  
  
"Hey, that's what I do when it's night," Link noted.  
  
Navi was struck dumb with amazement. How did a creature revive so quickly? But it wasn't the time to marvel at the Dodongo's abilities. She needed to help Link. Quickly, she snapped out of her spell and spoke in a rush.

"Link, you need to kill him!"  
  
"Hey Navi, you didn't miss much. I nearly got burned by a Dodongo and rolled flat into a pancake, but besides that, nothing much happened."  
  
"Forget that, as I told you before, you need to kill King Dodongo!"  
  
"How?"  
  
"Um...I don't really know."  
  
"Gee, that's a great help, Navi."  
  
Link watched helplessly as the Dodongo approached.  
  
He started throwing random things at it, for instance, green rupees, (he couldn't part with the blue) some Deku Sticks, some Deku Nuts, and then finally...his bomb bag.  
  
Link didn't really realize it at first, as he was just pulling whatever was in his pouch, and when he saw the bomb bag go straight into the Dodongo's mouth, he moaned.  
  
"No!"  
  
KABOOM!!!  
  
Link watched in happiness as the Dodongo exploded-yes, explode. The lava started to dry out, and in the middle of all was a blue telepad, a heart piece, and Link's beloved bomb bag!  
  
Navi thumped Link's head, as a signal to get moving.  
  
Link joyfully placed his bag back in his pouch, picked up the heart piece, and stepped on the blue telepad.


	22. Balai the Weird Rude Goron

**Fanfiction back on! Yay! Now I can update until the computer explodes like King Dodongo! Muahahahahaha.....the graveyard is next....(evil grin)**

**Let's see...oh yes, I think I'll start another story later on, maybe on chap 40? Whaddya think of that?**

* * *

Once more, Link fell, flat on the ground, leaving behind his imprint.

Navi rolled out as Link's hat came out on the rough ground.

"OW! Link! Get me! I'm rolling away!"

Link, however, was still buried in his imprint.

"Hold on Navi!" Link cried out in a muffled voice. "Nearly out!"

With a nasty popping noise, Link managed to get out, only to see Darunia right in front of him, and dozens of Gorons behind Link.

Navi, however, was still rolling through the Gorons feet. She bumped into a Goron and finally came to a stop. The Goron, suprised, picked her up.

Darunia's face broke into a huge, watermelon smile.

"You did it, boy! By the way, what's your name?"

"Link," the Kokiri squeaked, backing away.

"Well, now we can eat all we want again! Peace has returned to Death Mountain, to Goron City! I will gladly give you the Spiritual Stone of Fire."

Link blinked, and in a instant, a ruby bopped him on his head.

Surprisingly, Link didn't fall down, but just stared at Darunia.

"It's plastic," Darunia explained, taking out the real Spiritual Stone.

Link frowned.

Darunia shrugged. "Eh, just wanted to see how you'd react."

Link placed the Spiritual Stone in his pouch. "By the way...who sealed up the cavern in the first place?"

Darunia's face darkened. "That ugly green guy named Ganondorf...honestly, he looks so green...that's what happens when you eat too many green rocks...and he wears black clothes. That guy has no sense of fashion, I tell you! Black and green. Bah!"

"Navi?" Link called out. "Where are you?"

A Goron stepped out and in his cupped hands was Navi, bickering.

"Couldn't you hear me screaming?!? I was half scared to death I'd roll into Kakariko Village!"

Link quickly placed Navi on his head and put his hat on.

"Thanks, Darunia."

"Oh, hey, Link, wanna become Sworn Brothers?" Darunia asked eagerly.

Link stared blankly. "Brothers? But, I mean like, you have your mother and well I, you know, we're not related!"

Azarn stepped out from the crowd. "No, no," he chortled. "Lord Darunia simply is asking you for your friendship, to help him in his need."

Link turned pale at, "to help him in his need."

_Shoot, I'm going to have to kill another Dodongo for him!_ Link thought desperately.

"Um, no thanks."

Sensing Link's discomfort, Azarn continued.

"He will help you too," he added.

Link relaxed. "Yeah, sure, why not?"

Darunia smiled. "Ok, my people, let's see off our brother with a nice hug!"

A Goron started to hug Link tightly, and Link gasped and wheezed for air.

"Hehehehehe," Azarn chuckled. "Did I tell you I went easy on you?"

"No!" Link choked.

Navi was laughing insanely.

When every Goron had given Link a hug, they all started marching towards Dodongo's Cavern.

Darunia was the last. "Goodbye, brother!"

He waved and entered the cavern.

Link collapsed into a heap, dozens of bruises covering his face, legs, arms, and there were smears of brown on his Kokiri tunic.

Navi, inside Link's hat, looked carefully at her injured wing. She knew that fairies healed quickly, and hoped that the few hours in Dodongo's Cavern was enough. Navi floated up slowly, steadily...

"Yes! I can fly again! I'm not confined into a hat anymore!"

Navi bumped out of the hat and examined the brown smears.

"Looks like some younger Gorons were experimenting with face-paints," Navi explained to an unconscious Link.

Link grunted, opened up his right eye a tiny fraction, and then got up, satisfied that no more Gorons were left.

"I think I broke something," Link groaned, rubbing his back.

"Stop lying, Link." Navi scoffed.

_Crraacckk_.

"Ok, maybe you weren't lying."

Link gingerly rose up and started staggering to Kakariko Village.

"Wait, Link! I have a strange feeling...like a tingle..I feel like...like there is a strong scent of magic nearby..."

Link stopped and slowly slumped to the ground.

"If it involves hiking up to the top of the mountain, then I'm not interested," Link grumbled.

"I'm sure that there is a Great Fairy of Magic there. She'll give you a nice...um...magical...gift..."

In truth, Navi wanted to have a chat with the great fairy residing there to make sure she was paired with the right partner. But first she needed to convince Link.

"Um. Hmmm. How. About. No?" Link said angrily, getting up and heading towards the steps to Kakariko.

"Oh...and...um...did I mention she gives out er....rupees?" Navi asked, faking a huge smile.

Luckily, Link didn't notice. "How much?"

Navi tried to float as inconspicously as she possibly could to Link's rupee pouch. When she was close enough, she swiped about seven.

"Lots," Navi replied, nodding.

Link scratched his chin thoughtfully. "Well, okay. At least ten nice rupees."

Navi swiped three more from his pouch and grinned. "Yes, yes."

Link got up, clambered up the higher ledge, and started walking up.

"Ok, lead the way, Navi."

Navi, in truth, didn't really know where to go, but if it it was at the top of the mountain, they should go "up", right?

But Navi made a few mistakes and ended up leading them back to Goron City.

"Navi, look! We've been going on and on for ages and I bet we're going in circles!"

"Maybe I don't know the way," Navi admitted.

Link exploded in frustration. "We better go get a Goron guide,"

On perfect timing, a Goron marched out of Goron City.

"Hey, I thought all the Gorons were in Dodongo's Cavern!" Navi exclaimed, flying over to the Goron. Link followed.

"Oh, it's you two again," the Goron scoffed.

Navi was surprised by the Goron's attitude. "What's your name?"

"I don't know why I'm telling my name to outsiders, but I guess Darunia would command respect to you two filthy things. My name is Balai."

The name rang in Link's mind. Wasn't that the Goron who said no, who refused to let them have the Spiritual Stone?

"Well, can you help guide us to the top of the mountain?" Navi asked, recovering from her faint moment of shock.

The Goron rolled his eyes. "Whatever, just follow me. I really don't know why I'm helping you, I should never help outsiders. Ugh."

He led them up the mountain path muttering things angrily and kicking rocks.

"Disgusting things," Balai commented coldly, "don't even have enough brains to make it to the top of the mountain."

Navi resisted the urge to slap the Goron in the cheek for being so rude. Silently she ignored him.

"Anyways, I'm suspcious. How come you can beat the all-mighty King Dodongo when you can't even get up to the top of the mountain?"

"Hiking skills are not the same compared to the way Link killed the Dodongo!" Navi snapped angrily. "I have a question too, mister, how come you weren't waiting or in Dodongo's Cavern!?!??!"

The Goron seemed taken aback. He quickly recovered. "I have an eating disorder. I don't eat rocks. I feast on...regular food. As for the other question, I refused to wait for two, digusting little things."

"Who delivers your food?" Navi asked back immediately.

"The King of Hyrule is very kind. He is Sworn Brother of Darunia, and every month when the Royal Messenger comes, he also brings a package of food that will last for another month for me." Balai answered coldly.

Navi felt some pity for the Goron-he wasn't like the others of his race-rejected.

"But don't feel pity for me, little fairy," Balai said viciously, as if he had read her mind, "I don't need it."

Navi's sense of pity vanished instantly. "You don't deserve it," she spat out.

Balai clenched his fists and suddenly stopped. He smirked.

"Here you go, the top of the mountain, as I promised, now, good luck getting down!"

He curled up into a tight ball and started rolling down.

Navi gazed up at the wall. There were tight little footholds, good to climb.

"Let's go, Link. Climb up."

Link obediently swung his foot up and the his hand, then another foot, and then another hand...

Navi waited as Link regained his breath at the top, panting. Finally, he got up, still taking deep breaths.

"Where do we go now, Navi?"

Navi floated over to a small crack in the wall. "Hit this with your sword."

_Kashnnng_

"Bomb it."

Link rummaged through the bomb bag and with some effort, managed to pull it out. He put it near the wall and rubbed it gingerly, causing the fuse to...

"Um, Navi, that's how you light it right?"

"Hopefully."

A tiny spark blossomed into a flame and started running down the fuse.

_KABOOM!_

The wall blasted to pieces, and there was Link, standing in the middle of it all, his clothes covered in ash and soot.

"Oh, dear. C'mon, Link, let's get inside. The Great Fairy will fix you up." Navi sighed.

Link started walking, leaving behind an ashy trail.


	23. Navi's Decision

There were two lit marble torches and a small fountain, with clear, sparkling water. There were stars sprinkling down at the sides, and a Triforce sign on one of the steps.

Link gazed in awe. "Wow..."

Navi flew towards the fountain. "Hello? Great Fairy, this is Navi. I request your help."

There was some childish laughter, and Navi slowly floated towards Link.

"Play the song of Royal Family," the voice said softly, like the wind. The words echoed gently. "...the Royal Family.."

"Play," Navi ordered. "Step on the Triforce sign and play."

Link hopped eagerly onto the sign, took out his ocarina, and played gently, softly.

The melody tinkled through the fountain, and the water started to send out more rough ripples.

Link removed the ocarina from his mouth and waited.

The laughter again...except much louder. Suddenly, a lady popped out of the fountain, with long red flaming hair in ponytails and with glittering eyes. She glared at Link.

"You're so dirty! You're covering my beautiful, clean marble with ash...and soot!"

She laid a fingernail on Link's shoulder for a second, and then brought it back up.

The ash started floating away in the wind, but it disappeared before it got any farther than the exit.

The fairy relaxed. "Ah, that's better. Now, I am Clara, the Great Fairy of Magic. Who has requested my assistance?"

Navi floated up to her. "I, Madam Clara."

Clara chuckled softly. "No, call me Clara. You wish to speak in private, correct?"

She had read Navi's mind. Navi nodded.

"You, boy....your name is Link, is it not? Please do me a favour and wait outside. I shall give you your magic spell later on."

"How about my rupees?" Link asked.

Clara looked confused.

Before she could say a word, Navi butted in. "Yeah, she'll give you them with the magic spell. Bye!"

Link looked even more confused, but left.

After Link was fully out of sight, Clara stared at Navi sternly.

"You lied to your partner, did you not? About the rupees. You stole them."

Navi felt very uncomfortable. "But it was urgent! I needed to see you."

The Great Fairy closed her eyes and sighed. "You wish to know whether you were correctly paired with him, do you not?"

Navi nodded. This was the moment she was waiting for...the answer...

"I cannot tell you." Clara said finally, opening her eyes. "The answer does not lie within you or I."

"But-but..." Navi stuttered.

"The Great Deku Tree assigned you to the boy, did he not? He is a wise fellow...a little bit...crazy sometimes, might I add, but he is wise in his ways many think are insane."

"That still doesn't tell me the answer, Grea-I mean, Clara." Navi said, sighing.

Clara lowered her gaze to Navi. "Let me put it in this way, Navi."

She leaned closer. "If you had a choice to leave him, would you leave him?"

Soon she was so close Navi could've touched her face. "Would you be willing to go with another Kokiri? One who is not a Child of Destiny, one who lives a normal Kokiri life? You can, and some part of you has always known that."

Navi couldn't speak. The words wouldn't come out. _Say no, dummy! Of course you want to!_

Finally, she choked out some words. "I...I..."

* * *

**Muahahahahahaha! Another nasty cliffhanger! :-)**


	24. What Kid is Awake at this Hour?

**I'm sure you're all eager to here what Navi's going to say....hahahahah....**

* * *

"I...I..." Navi felt tongue-tied. "I...I don't know." 

Clara smiled down at Navi. "I presume you need some time?"

"What? Time? Yes, time." Navi sighed, relieved.

"Well, your partner probrably doesn't want to hike up here again, so, you should go to Zora's Domain, they have the third Spiritual Stone, the Spiritual Stone of Water. In Zora's Fountain, your partner should swim to a small piece of land. There are a couple of bushes, a grey rock, and a brown one. Blow up the brown one, and you shall find my sister. She will know your current situation, so do not worry. Tell your partner to come in now."

Navi nodded. "Thank you, though, for your advice."

Clara beamed. "What more could I do?"

Navi flew out of the fountain and ushered Link inside. Link kept getting these confused looks.

"Hey, Navi, how come some of my rupees are missing?" Link whispered.

Navi went cold. "Um, I dunno."

The Great Fairy grinned when she saw Link. "Hello, Link. I'm going to teach you a sword technique."

She raised her hands up high and a green light slowly descended on Link.

Link, however, didn't notice anything. When Clara was done, she panted slightly.

"There," she said, wiping her brow, "done."

"So, when you gonna teach me the technique?" Link asked eagerly.

"I just did!"

"No you didn't!"

"But-"

"You didn't teach me anything!"

"But I just-"

"Listen, are you wasting my time?"

"NO! JUST SWING YOUR SWORD AROUND!"

Link rolled his eyes. "Yeah, and something's gonna happen right?"

He hastened to obey and swung his sword around. "See? What-"

The sword kept going straight into a circle with energy radiating off it.

Clara folded her arms and gazed at Link. "See what?"

"Uh...well..er..." Link muttered, embarassed, "where are my rupees?"

Clara handed him the glittering rupees in her palm, which Navi had given her.

Link stuffed them in his rupee pouch and thanked her.

As the pair made their way out, Navi turned back to Clara and mouthed a silent thank you.

Clara saluted her, smiling.

Navi grinned, blinked, and saw that the fairy was gone.

Outside they met a surprise.

"Ah, hello Link and Navi," Kaepora Gaebora greeted. "How are thee?"

"We're fine, Kaepora. Why are you here?"

Kaepora rustled, making the sign she was on vibrating.

"I'm here to give you a lift down to Kakariko, so your way down won't be so perilous."

"How perfect," Navi sighed.

Link turned a nasty shade of green. "How?"

Kaepora looked surprised. "Why, by holding onto my talons, of course!"

Link now turned a darker green. He looked ready to throw up.

Kaepora backed away. "You want the ride or not?"

"Yes, of course," Navi said quickly.

"All right," Kaepora resolved, "hold on tight."

Slowly, the owl fluttered in the air, waiting for Link to catch on.

Link took a deep breath, clutched the owl's talons tightly, and closed his eyes.

_Whooosh._

Kaepora soared through the air, making loops and taking deep dives and pulling up sharply.

Navi was desperately trying to keep up with them, but her wings hadn't fully healed yet.

Link, on the other hand, looked a nasty purple.

They finally managed to make it into Kakariko Village.

Kaepora dived deeply, aiming for one of the houses.

"Let go!" she shouted over the whistle of the wind.

Link hoped that he wouldn't land on the ground, and let go.

Navi came flying to him a few moments later.

The Kokiri clumsily tumbled down to the ground. Link got up and brushed himself to find it was still night.

"What time is it?" Link asked eagerly.

"I'd say we've been in Dodongo's Cavern for about....." Navi paused to yawn, "...hmm...a few hours?"

It had stopped raining, obviously, but Kakariko was wet to the bone.

"We better go find some shelter," Navi advised.

"Yes, let's," Link agreed. "Um...where?"

"Well, we could rent out a room....let me go find one..."

Navi was just about to fly off when a small boy, probably eight or nine, came toddling up to Link.

"Hi, mister. Can you help me?"

He had a big, wide smile, and his voice was sugar sweet.

"What do you want?" Link asked cautiously, his hand on the hilt of his sword. After all, what boy would be awake in the dead of night, especially after it rains?

The boy looked uneasily at Link's sword. "Er, never mind!" he squeaked.

Link relaxed. He folded his arms and stared down. "No, I won't hurt you. Really, want do you want?"

"Um...can you go the...the graveyard with me?" the boy asked tensely.

"What, at this hour?" Link and Navi said at the same time.

The boy seemed strangely unperturbed by Navi. "Oh, that's a fairy! Well, anyways, I'm on a dare, and some bullies told me to go to the graveyard. Can you please please pretty please come with me?"

He got on his knees. "Please?"

"No." Navi answered suddenly, her face stony. "Not at this hour, Link. We have to go find some shelter. You'll need a good night's rest, for tomorrow."

"Exactly, little boy," Link said. "Besides, I'm scared of graveyards. Um, I mean, I love graveyards."

"Let's go, Link, there might be an inn right there."

"No, please!" the boy wailed. "Pleasseeeeeee!!!"

Navi was starting to get irritated. "No! Where are your parents?"

The boy looked ready to cry.

Link and Navi exchanged worried looks.

"Please stay! Please! Only for a few minutes!" the boy cried out.

"Run!" Navi hissed. "We can find shelter elsewhere! Maybe at Lon Lon! Just run!"

Link took one step before he was assaulted by tears.

The boy latched onto his right leg and sobbing, "Please!"

Link tried to shake him off, but he hung on tight.

"OKAY! FOR NAYRU'S SAKE, JUST GET OFF ME!" Link bellowed.

The boy obeyed and sniffled. "Will you-"

"Yes! Just lead the way!" Link snapped, glaring at him.

"Yay!" he cried out joyfully. He grabbed Link's hand and started dragging him through a narrow passageway.

Inside, was a graveyard overrun with weeds and dried grass. Navi told Link to wipe off the drops of water on the nearby sign so she could read.

_Make yourself at home! Don't pull the graves or hop on the fences. Thank you. – Dampe the Great Gravekeeper_

Navi shivered. Something wasn't right...something wasn't at rest.

Link went past the graves to the one in the back, the one which was huge and had a small inscription on it. There was also an odd Triforce sign there on the ground.

Navi followed closely and read the inscription.

_This is the tomb of the Royal Family. Do not enter, or ye shall perish. It is said that beasts that live there used to be the living, the Royal Family members. They have waited long for a hero to come and bring peace to them, but none have come. It is said that the only way of calming them is by playing a simple, magical melody, which legends say can bring the sun down and the moon up, and the moon down and the sun up. But it is a mere legend, and if you value thy life, then do not enter. Few who are brave go in, to try and help them, but fewer return, and the ones that do suffer pain and fear for the rest of their lives. For the beasts there are recognized as ReDeads, who will paralyze you with only a mere gaze. They will strangle and choke you to deatb, without mercy, for without peace, they have no mind and will kill anybody who enters their domain. The ones who have died trying to save them become ReDeads themselves, and they hope as well, that someone can overcome their pain and let them rest, rest in peace. Let their souls rest in peace._

Navi read it again and again.

"Freaky," she whispered, "it's good that we don't have to go down there."

Navi read it out loud to Link, who listened in fear.

"Freaky," he agreed.

The boy came up to Link. "By the way, I have to go down there. The bullies said they'd be on the other side."

He pointed directly at the grave.

Link gaped at the boy. He pulled him over to it.

"Don't you see what it says??? Read!"

The boy started to read, and with each line he read, he looked more shaken and frightened.

"Well…" he said slowly, "a dare is still a dare. I still have to go."

Link grasped his shoulders tightly and shook them.

"Don't you see? People die down there! Besides, you don't even know how to get down there!"

The boy raised his gaze to level with Link's. "Oh, but I do."

Link got up and brushed his tunic. "I'm not going. Me and Navi can't-"

Navi interrupted. "No, it's Navi and I-"

Link ignored her and continued. "Me and Navi can't go down there!"

The boy got ready to latch onto Link's leg.

"You can do that," Link said carelessly, "but I'm still not going."

"Then I'll scream and cry and wake up the entire town." The boy retorted.

"That's perfect. Then they'll wonder why you're up." Navi butted in.

The boy gulped. He looked like he was consumed by worry.

"Well…I'll…give you….twenty rupees!"

Navi gasped. How did the boy know Link's weak spot?

Link seemed as if he was trying to resist it. Unfortunately, the boy noticed this.

"Thirty," he said, rubbing his hands with glee.

"Don't," Navi warned.

Link swallowed. "No."

The boy looked strange…that expression…it seemed somewhat…familiar….

"Fine. One gold rupee."

Link stared at him. "How can a kid like you get that much?"

He grinned. "I have my ways. So, will you do it?"

Navi stared in disbelief at the boy. He must have been lying.

But at the exact timing, the boy took a shiny, glittering gold rupee and held it out.

Link reached out to take it, but the boy immediately pocketed it again. "Will you?"

Navi watched helplessly.

"One minute." Link said finally.

Navi looked at Link with disgust.

But Link leaned close to Navi and whispered quietly, "We'll leave him, I don't need the rupee, it's probrably fake."

Navi relaxed. "Ok."

The boy quickly walked to the Triforce sign.

"Play Zelda's Lullaby," he snarled.

Link was surprised by the tone of his voice. "What's your name, anyways?"

"Hm…you can call me…Joey," the boy replied. "Now play!"

Link grumbled, but took out his ocarina. He played Zelda's Lullaby perfectly. The melody echoed in a slow, haunting way, as if trying to warn them of danger.

CRACK!!!

Lightning struck the tomb head on, and Link dived just in time.

Joey looked almost disappointed when Link avoided the lightning bolt, Navi noted in her mind.

The tomb disappeared, leaving a huge hole.

Joey grinned evilly. With force that Link didn't know he had, he pushed him over.

Navi gasped. "You-you can't do that!"

He laughed coldly. "Who said that I can't?"

Navi didn't respond. She dived down the hole as well.

Joey cackled. "Now that those two are out of my sight, I have other matters to attend to."

_The boy vanished._


	25. Inside the Tomb

**Disclaimer: Once again, don't own Zelda, probrably never will, oh, and don't own SuperMario64 either. Happy?**

**Warning: This chapter is not suitable for Hylians, Zoras, Gerudo, Gorons, or Kokiri. If YOU have a fear of ReDeads, do not read. I'll just tell you what it involves. Green puddles, hissing steam, and um, ReDeads. Yeah, a good summary, eh?**

**Note: Thanks Krystal Fox, (got you hooked, don't I) heheheheh.....MUAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHH....yes, I'm crazy and mad...now on with the story! (starts humming Jingle Bells)**

* * *

Link got up and brushed off the dirt from his knees. Where was he?

"Link, we're in the tomb!" Navi whispered, frightened, as if she had read his mind.

"That boy! He pushed me off!"

Navi nodded, and sighed.

Link slid down the slimy walls. "How do we get out?"

A cold, harsh voice floated into the chamber. "You cannot leave until you let the dead rest..."

The voice repeated itself. "Let the dead rest in peace....in peace...."

Link shivered.

Navi took a good look at their surroundings. Not exactly flowers and candy. There was a liquid dropping from the ceiling, forming a small little puddle, and a door straight ahead. There were....human bones.......scattered everywhere.

Link picked up a skull and shuddered. He let it drop to the floor and wiped his hands on his tunic.

"Let's go, Link." Navi resolved finally, breaking the silence.

Link cowered. "But it's so scary! I don't wanna. I bet there's....ghosts!!!!"

Navi wanted to say that, "No, there are ReDeads, and those are ten times worse," but that wouldn't help their situation.

"It's okay, Link, the sooner, the better, and we'll get out of here quickly." Navi reassured him soothingly. But she felt guilty, so terribly guilty. This might as well be the end of their lives.

Link, with new hope, got up, shivered, but walked unsteadily towards the door. All of a sudden, the dripping stopped, and Link stopped as well.

"Navi," he squeaked, "I'm glad you're here."

Navi was touched. "Thank-"

"Your source of light helps me see," Link continued squeakily, and then went through the door.

Navi rolled her eyes and followed close behind. For once, she wanted to be in the warmth of Link's hat, despite how bad it smelled inside.

When she saw what was inside, she didn't even care if there was poop in Link's hat.

There were dozens of ReDeads crowding the room. Just to add to the decor, there were pools of nasty green liquid, which looked like it could burn you.

Link's jaw slowly went down in surprise.

Suddenly, one of the ReDeads started staggering towards Link. Link screamed and then ran straight into green pools.

"Mama mia!" Link cried out. (Note: You know how when Mario gets burned by lava, he starts running super fast and with no control with steam hissing out of his...bottom? Yeah, that's gonna work to Link's advantage right now.)

Link started running like crazy, knocking down ReDeads like bowling pins. If he missed one at the back, the steam was enough to knock them off. If he ran out of fuel, no problem, just step right into another gre-

"MAMA MIA!" Link shouted, knocking a couple more ReDeads. There! The exit! He ran into it joyfully and then rammed into a wall.

"Oof!" Link slid down the wall, feeling dizzy.

"C'mon Link, quick! I want to get out of here."

Link got up as Navi was reading the inscription. It was pretty darn boring, and it was a fifty percent chance Link would've fallen asleep if hadn't been for their situation.

"Look! It's the legendary melody, the Sun's Song! Hit it!"

Link put his ocarina to his mouth and played...

The ReDeads suddenly felt a bursting in their chest. Could it be that...they could finally rest?

As one ReDead floated away in mist, he stared at the boy who was playing the song.

_Ahhhh...._he thought, _our rescuer is a shrimpy little boy with fire on his butt. I will be forever indebted by him._

Link, finished the song and sighed in relief.

Navi, who was humming the song, sighed in relief.

Mario, who was singing the song, sigh-

"Hey, where'd you come from???" Navi cried out.

"Yeah, I never saw a short dude in overalls with yellow buttons!" Link added.

Mario stared at Navi and Link. _Mama mia, they saw me! Better call Pipy!_

A warp pipe popped out of the ground and he hopped inside, disappearing along with it.

"That was weird," Link and Navi said in unison.

There was a shining blue portal, probrably leading out.

"Phew, close call." Link said, hopping on it. Navi followed shortly after.


	26. Zora's Domain

Link fell deeper into the ground this time, and when he finally managed to get out, he admired the work. Then he saw a sign above it.

Navi read it. "This is the imprint of the saviour who saved countless royal souls."

Enraged, she started yelling at the sign. "Hey, I helped too!"

In anger, Navi punched a small circle with two blobs sticking out beside Link's imprint.

Satisfied, she floated back to Link. "Let's get going."

Link, looked at his imprint, stunned. Navi...apparently wasn't too good....at aim, so instead of beside Link's imprint, she had put it....right on his head, so it looked like to blobs were coming out of each side.

Navi noticed it too. "I guess the saviour's mutated. C'mon, Link!"

It was still dark, and suddenly Navi had a flashback. The Sun's Song had powers, didn't it?

"Play the Sun's Song, Link!"

Link nodded, took out his ocarina.

Had any Kakariko villager be awake would've seen the moon going down at an incredible rate and the sun whizzing up rapidly.

Link was surprised by the effect. "Wow," he mumbled. "Cool."

"Link, hurry up!" Navi was already so far away from him. "We're going to check something first."

There was a huge building with a great big dirty sign on it saying **KAKARIKO RECORDS.**

"Quick, Link, inside! Ask them if they have any records on a child named Joey."

Link swung open the door and hurried to the counter. There was a lady with long, brown, curly hair managing some files and writing down something.

The lady looked up and saw Link.

"Hello, dear, my name is Mrs. Lalkn. How can I help you?"

"I want to see the records of Joey."

She frowned. "Joey who?"

"Can I just see records of any eight-year to nine-year old boys named Joey?"

Mrs. Lalkn look taken aback. "Why would you like to do that?"

"Please, it's urgent!" Link pleaded.

She sighed. "All right, give me a minute."

She went to the back, where the other files were stored. A minute later, she came back to the front empty-handed.

"There are only four Joeys in the entire village. Two are adults, one is only a toddler, and the other is a teenager."

Navi's heartbeat quickened. Nobody?

"Um, thanks." Link told Mrs. Lalkn, and left in a hurry.

As soon as they were outside, Navi started talking in a nervous tone. "Nobody? Then...then...who was that boy?"

She was trying hard not to reach the conclusion, but it was there, obvious and glaringly correct. Joey didn't exist. That boy...whoever he was, didn't live in Kakariko.

Link didn't look at all pertubed.

"Link, don't you know what this means?"

"We have to go get the last Spiritual Stone?"

"No! That boy we saw yesterday-he doesn't live here! He doesn't even exist!"

**Somewhere in Hyrule Castle**

"They live, and with a new power! I should of disposed of that annoying little fairy when I had the chance..."

Then the figure grinned. "But soon, I shall. I will crush them....soon...it is only a matter of time before the Triforce is in my posession."

**Hyrule Field**

The pair had left Kakariko a short while ago, and was currently following the water stream into Zora's Domain. They came to some rocks, a sprout of grass, and Kaepora Gaebora perching on a stone tower.

Link jumped. "How'd you get here????"

Kaepora ruffled her feathers indigantly."I flew, obviously."

Link rolled his eyes.

"I am here to deliver a very important message. Just up ahead, is Zor-"

"A's Domain, yes, we know," Navi cut Kaepora off. "They have the third spiritual stone, the stone of water, and we have to let them hear the song of the Royal Family, right?"

Kaepora hooted angrily. "That's what I say! Now, just up ahead is Zora's Domain. They have the third spiritual stone, the stone of water, and you have to let the hear the song of the Royal Family to_ pass._"

Navi looked at Kaepora, frowning. "But I ju-"

"Stop trying to mimick me," Kaepora interrupted. "Now, I must be off."

She gained some flight and flew off.

Navi resisted the urge to tell Link to get out his slingshot, and instead floated over to the big boulders.

"C'mon Link, blow them up with your bomb...and stay away from it way it blows up."

Link lit the fuse on two bombs and dived out of the way, right across the two boulders.

Navi flew over and gazed in wonder. "We didn't even have to use the bombs! You could've of just hurdled over!"

Link, however, didn't listen and scrambled away just as the bombs exploded.

"Well, we better get going, Link."

"Ohhh! Cool! Look, a Cucco!"

Link swiped at the poor Cucco and started trying to catch it.

"Oh, stop, Link. It's impossible for you to catch it," Navi scoffed disbelievingly.

"I caught it!" Link held the Cucco by the talons and was running around. There was a small running current by the land.

The Cucco was clucking madly, and trying to claw Link.

"OW!" Link stumbled from a new scar on his arm and accidentally went sprialing _over _the small current, gliding with the Cucco.

"I can fly!" Link cried out. The Kokiri started running, crying out, "I can fly! I can fly!"

"I can-"

He bumped into a fence, and the Cucco eagerly took it's chance and started running around, taking advantage of Link's dizzy spell.

Link started to recover, and he clambered up the short gate and calling out, "Cucco! Come here, Cucco!"

Navi, was still trying hard to stiffle a laugh. She floated over to Link absently, watching as he ran straight for a bridge.

"Link, it's that way! C'mon, follow me!"

Navi took a steep dive and pulled herself up sharply and stopped straight in front of a waterfall.

Link came shortly afterwards.

"Play Zelda's Lullaby."

Once again, his ocarina was taken out and put to his mouth and played.

But nothing happened.

"Step on the Triforce, first." Navi said dully.

Link blushed. "Yeah, I know."

The song rang through the water, and Link heard almost a strange...chim.

But, the waterfall seemed to thin, and the entrance was unblocked.

"Jump!" Navi yelled.

"Jump?"

"Yes!"

"Ok."

Link jumped, and barely hit the entrance floor.

He wobbled, and fell.

"Link??" Navi cried out, surprised and stunned.

Link yelled an, "I'm ok," and a few moments later, Navi saw Link's fingers clinging to the entrance.

"Almost there." Link swung up his foot and nearly kicked Navi in the process.

"Watch it," Navi grumbled, and backed away.

Navi could see Link's fingernails digging into the grounds, and then quickly, he swung he his whole body up.

"That was completely exhausting," Link gasped, getting up. He chortled. "Imagine having to do that everyday, my dear Navi!"

Navi knew what was happening. She mumbled under her breath. "Let's go."

They entered.


	27. Aliba the Respectful Zora

**Hello, people, I haven't been writing in a very long time, have I? Nah, haven't got writer's block. Yet....(smirk) Anyways, on the bright side, I'll be updating again tommorow. Maybe again today. Who knows?**

**Disclaimer: Nope, don't own Zelda. What's the use?**

**Ah, thank you rosalie for pointing out my terrifyingly horrible mistake. Yes, Navi did fly before she healed. No matter now, I've fixed it, and she's still stuck in Link's (rather stinky) hat. I don't know whether you want to check it out, not much of a difference, just a couple o' edits, but it's chapter 21 I've fixed. Now, on, on with the story! MWAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....**

* * *

Navi tried to block out Link's annoying yet true mutters. 

"Yes, now...let's see, the King of the Zoras can possibly be located somewhere in a hidden place." Link paused to smirk. "But are the Zoras overprotective of their royalty? Hmm...."

A Zora was swimming freely in the waters, and the waterfall splashed with life and a certain...fresh scent. There was also a Zora leaning against the wall, snoring away.

"Let's go ask him, Link." Navi advised, but Link was already five steps ahead. Navi fumed silently. Wasn't she supposed to help him? Navi wasn't accustomed to Link doing things on his own.

"Quickly, my dear Navi!" Link called out, prodding the Zora on the fin.

The Zora immediately snapped awake and went into a defensive stance, growling. But when he saw that it was a mere child who poked him awake, he relaxed and frowned.

"Who are you? What do you want?" he asked roughly.

Link automatically bowed. "I have come to seek the Spiritual Stone of Water. My sources say you, the ever so graceful Zoras, hold it with pride."

The Zora was surprised by Link's short speech. "Well, do you mean the beautiful gem, Zora's Sapphire? You should have a talk with King Zora. He manages business like that."

The eyes of the Zora gleamed all of a sudden, and he grinned. "Oh, and to get him on his good side, tell him that "Ruto will die a painful death, and there is nothing you can do about it." That's right. He'll give you anything you wish then."

Link's brow furrowed in suspicion. "Who is Ruto?"

"King Zora's enemy, of course!" the Zora exclaimed vehemently. "Here, I'll lead you to him."

He started walking towards a narrow passage, lit by two flaming torches.

Navi felt something like dishonesty in the air.

Link shrugged, and followed the Zora to a platform with gushing water all around. There was a huge Zora sitting on a narrow ledge, blocking a small entrance in the gate.

The Zora which had led Link and Navi to the king bowed deeply in respect and gestured to Link.

"This boy wishes to speak with you, m'lord. I shall let you have your privacy."

He left quickly, splashing through the water. Link was about to protest, but he remained silent.

King Zora sighed in sadness, and he bowed his head. "Thank you, Aliba."

Link quickly started to recite the line the Zora told him to. "Ruto will-"

But suddenly, Link shook violently. He twitched, and slammed into the wall.

He slid down and went limp.

Navi's tiny fairy eyes went wide as she flew towards Link, near his eyes, muttering.

"C'mon, Link, wake up!"

Link's eyes fluttered open, and he seemed dizzy and unfocused.

"Whoa...where are we? All I remember was just...jumping...jumping into a tunnel...and then...falling into darkness...."

"Ruto will what???" King Zora looked sharply at Link, suddenly alert.

Link got up, and stared at King Zora.

"Man, that guy's fat. I thought Mido was fat, but this guy...man, he beats the limit. Who is he, anyways?" Link whispered.

Navi quickly filled him in. "He's King Zora, and he has the last spiritual stone, Link!"

"Answer me! What will happen to my precious Ruto?"

Navi was taken aback. "Precious?" she echoed. "But that Zora...Aliba, he told us...who is Ruto???"

King Zora stared at Link and Navi. "Ruto? She's my sweet little girl, of course! Aliba? He came here seven moons ago. He is a very helpful Zora, always polite and respectful, happy of the treasures here. You, boy, you told me that you knew what was going to happen to her!"

Link looked at King Zora blankly. "But I don't know who Ruto is."

"Our guardian, Lord Jabu-Jabu swallowed her!" he let out a sigh. "What are you here for, anyways?"

"I want the spiritual stone," Link demanded.

King Zora snickered. "Well, m'boy, I have a job for you. Save my darling Ruto, and she'll give you Zora's Sapphire. I don't have it in my possesion right now."

"Great, more injuries," Link muttered. "Okay, fine, I save this Ruto guy and he gives me the stone?"

King Zora reddened. "First of all, Ruto is my darling daughter, not son, and she uh, might give you the stone."

Link frowned. "Might?"

"He-I mean, she doesn't like to give away her items..."

"Forget it, then."

Link turned around to leave, only to find Navi glaring at him.

"No. You will save this Ruto, and get the stone." she ordered in a cold, deathly like tone.

"Noooo!" Link whined.

"No "buts", mister." Navi snarled. "Now save that poor little girl!"

Link started to protest some more, but Navi suddenly snapped.

"You save that girl, Link! OR I'LL LEAVE YOU FOR GOOD!"

Link gasped. Then he grinned. "I know you aren't telling the truth, you won't leave me."

"The Great Deku Tree told me in private that I could," Navi fibbed, glaring.

King Zora interrupted all of a sudden. "I would continue to enjoy your little fight, but my little Ruto is wasting away in Jabu-Jabu's belly while we speak. So someone please save her now!!!"

Link sighed. "All right, whatever, I'll help her."

King Zora "phewed" and screeched loudly.

Almost immediately, ten Zoras marched into the chamber, each grabbing King Zora's hand. They pulled, and with a mighty heave, King Zora fell down, and in a muffled voice, crying out, "Go! Save my daughter!"

Link shrugged and walked up the pathway at the right side. Navi followed, thinking about Clara's words.

_If you could leave him, would you?_

"I don't know," Navi murmured. "I just don't know."

* * *

**Ah, mystery. Who is this Aliba? For people who haven't noticed:**

**Balai= Aliba, just a certain someone mixed up the letters...**

**Ho hum, who could this mysterious Zora and Goron be?**


	28. Lord Jabu Jabu

**Yes, Aliba does seem rather suspicious. Just goin' to tell you a grade one summary of this. Um, Jabu-Jabu eat Link. Yes, I know what you're thinking, Jabu-Jabu is not supposed to, but remember, this is a grade one summary. Actually, I'll change it to kindergarten.**

**Disclaimer: (sigh) I think you know what I'm going to say, so no bother.**

**Ahahaha, yes, Inversion, Aliba might be that little boy in the graveyard and Balai. But until later on, it won't be revealed. Just to tease you poor people, it'll be revealed when lessee...Link gets all three spiritual stones. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. I'm mean. Okay, on, on with the story!**

**Don't I smell?**

* * *

Navi was still wondering as they passed the grunting king and through the gate. Cool, fresh water splashed over Link's ankles. 

At the end of the tunnel was a small fountain with a huge potato shaped thing right in front of some steps.

Navi read the nearby sign.

**Zora's Fountain- Home of our wonderful water guardian, Lord Jabu-Jabu. Please do not disturb. For your own sake.**

Link walked up the steps and poked the sleeping creature, who stirred.

"Hey Navi," Link called out, "how do I kill this guy?"

"What do you mean, kill him???" Navi said back incredously, gazing at him with shock. "He's the Zora's guardian."

"Oh," Link muttered, not hiding his disappointment. "I thought he would pop and Ruto would be there."

He quickly placed his sword back in the scabbard.

"No, we're supposed to actually go inside him," Navi said sweetly, sounding like a teacher trying to explain to a student that 2 plus 2=4.

Link flopped down on the stairs. "Injuries are involved. I know it."

Navi flew towards the creature's huge lips, assuming that the monster was Lord Jabu-Jabu.

Fairies, to some creatures, are rather good-tasting. Lord Jabu-Jabu just happened to a certain fondness for sweet stuff.

Navi gasped in horror as Lord Jabu-Jabu took a deep breath, opened his mouth, and tried to swallow her.

Link's eyes widened. "No, Navi! Fly back!"

"I don't think I can!" Navi screamed over the wind as she desperately tried to fly away.

Link screamed too, when it started pulling him in.

"But I don't know this guy! How can I be swallowed by someone I DON'T KNOW???"

"It doesn't make any difference!" Navi shouted, getting pulled back inch by inch, her fluttering wings completely useless.

Link was getting pulled back at a much more faster rate, and finally....

_Gulp._

The Kokiri disappeared from view.

Without hesitation, Navi stopped fluttering and was instantly swallowed whole.

Lord Jabu-Jabu, satisfied, stopped, closed his mouth, yawned, and back to sleep.

And all was at peace. At least, outside, in Zora's Fountain.

* * *

**This was a very short chapter, I know, but there's not much to write about a huge fish swallowing a boy and a fairy. Is there?**

**Well then, hmm. That'll give me something to think about.**


	29. Monster!

  
Disclaimer: This part of the story does not exist. Right, don't own Finding Nemo catch phrases.

* * *

Link felt something wet and slimy plastered against his ankles.   
  
"Oh, gross..." Navi moaned as she looked around.  
  
They were inside Lord Jabu-Jabu's stomach. Saliva washed over Link's feet, and Navi felt certain something was dripping on her head.  
  
Link coughed and wasn't even one step away from where he started when he was hit, once more, on the head.  
  
Navi noticed a weird creature with green eyes glaring at Link. There was a small tube attached to it, and Navi guessed it was it's mouth.  
  
"Ow!" Link yelped. "That hurt more than the Deku Scrub guy's stuff!"  
  
Navi realized it was an Octorok...after several hits to the head.  
  
Link's head had quite a few red bumps now, in comparison to Navi's.  
  
"Use your shield!" Navi yelled.  
  
Link accidentally took out his sword and watched as the ammo snapped into two pieces the minute it made contact.  
  
"Well, that wor-" Link rubbed his stomach, which had just aquired another bump. "Hey, no fair!"  
  
Navi stared helplessly as Link ran up to the Octorok and stabbed it.  
  
The Octorok made a beeping noise, and blew up in bubbles.  
  
"Oooh!!!" Link squealed. "Bubbiesss!!!"  
  
He started to follow a bubble drifting into a tunnel.  
  
"Slow down, Bubie!" Link called as made desperate swipes, trying to catch it.  
  
Navi's eyes widened as Link burst straight through the wall and kept going. The fairy floated through Link's imprint and watched, amused, as Link tried to catch it.  
  
Link broke through another wall as if it was paper and followed the bubble.  
  
Finally, the bubble stopped, and Link made a leap.  
  
"Yay!" Link cheered, blocking the bubble's way from escaping in his cupped hands.  
  
Navi rolled her eyes.  
  
"I shall call him my Squishy," Link declared, accidentally squeezing the bubble to make his point.  
  
The bubble popped.  
  
Link whined.  
  
The creature in front of Link scoffed.  
  
Link backed off and tripped.  
  
"Who are you?" the creature demanded. It looked like a Zora, except the fins looked...smaller, and the head was huge.  
  
"What monster is that?" Link whispered in Navi's ear, unsheathing his sword and shield.  
  
Navi wandered over to the creature. "I think it's Ruto, Link!"  
  
Link's eyes shifted suspiciously. "No, Ruto can't be that ugly...it must be a monster with brainwashing powers! That's right! You, you're brainwashed, Navi! That's why! You're trying to convince me, to get me nearer so I'll get brainwashed too!"  
  
Navi and the "monster" exchanged confused looks.  
  
"I think there's something wrong with his brain," Navi explained.  
  
"I am Princess Ruto, and how dare you treat me like that, you inferior!" the young Zora growled as she stomped her foot impatiently. "Well, what are you waiting for? Bow!"  
  
"Die!!!" Link yelled, as he tried to ram his sword into Ruto.  
  
Ruto screamed and ran into a swirling vortex on the ground and disappeared from view.  
  
"Look, Link, you were trying to kill Ruto! She's the Zora we're trying to rescue, not injure or stab." Navi scolded, sounding exasperated.  
  
"I thought chasing her away would un-brainwash you!" Link sighed, disappointed.  
  
"I'm not brainwashed!" Navi exploded. "Just follow her and-"  
  
Before the angry fairy could finish her sentence, Link jumped down the vortex with a quick, "Ok!"  
  
Navi plunged into the vortex as well, muttering.  
  
Ruto backed into a corner as Link slammed a couple of Deku Nuts to the ground, watching the brilliant flash.  
  
Navi fluttered besides Link, feeling sorry for the young Zora.  
  
"Hey, Navi, how come she won't get stunned?" Link complained.  
  
"She isn't a monster, so she obviously isn't affected!" Navi yelled.  
  
"Oh." Link relaxed and approached Ruto. "Hi."  
  
Ruto looked angry and mad.  
  
The first thing she did was doubleslap Link on the face, and then punch him on the nose.  
  
Link was completely oblivious of the fact she had just slapped him or punched him, and was otherwise stunned and surprised.  
  
"Ouch." Navi uttered.  
  
Link rubbed his nose and his cheek. That raised the count of getting beaten up by a girl to 3.  
  
"So-_ree_," Link muttered.  
  
Princess Ruto "humphed".  
  
"What are you doing here?" she demanded.  
  
"I'm here to save you," Link replied, knowing that that sentence was out of place, judging the fact she could definitely defend herself.  
  
"Bah!" Ruto laughed. "Save me? A wimp? I don't need you to save me. Especially not a boy."  
  
Link looked affronted. "But I need your stone."  
  
Ruto fumed silently. "How did you know about my beloved sapphire???"  
  
Link grinned. "I do now."  
  
"Well, I can protect myself perfectly. When I find my stone, I'll leave."  
  
She started walking, but almost immediately a Biri assaulted her.  
  
"Ahhhhhhhh!"  
  
Link struck the jellyfish with a Deku Nut and then finished it off with his sword, his eyesbrows raised in amusement.  
  
"Well," Ruto admitted, "I guess I'll need a bodyguard...fine! You can carry me until I find my stone. But I won't give it to you!"  
  
"Don't worry, we can ease it out of her grasp," Navi whispered, just as Link opened his mouth to say, "no."  
  
"Fine." Link spat out, grabbing Ruto's ankles and taking out his sword.  
  
"What are you doing!?!?!?!" Ruto exclaimed as Link started to cut the locked door. There were yellowish bonds holding it together, so they couldn't go through.  
  
"Cutting," Link grunted, but Ruto shook wildly, causing Link to drop the sword.  
  
"Don't do that, you'll hurt Lord Jabu-Jabu!"  
  
Link ignored her, picked up the Kokiri sword, finished sawing off the rest of the cords, and the door automatically opened.  
  
"Hurt Jabu-Jabu?" Link repeated sarcasticaly.  
  
Ruto scowled. "Well, I bet you did, anyways..."  
  
They entered, Link looking irritated as Ruto questioned him.  
  
"Who ordered you to come in here, boy?" Ruto asked with an air of being a superior.  
  
Link dodged a bubble, stabbed it, vibrated because of the electrical charge that went up his arm, and ignored Ruto.  
  
"Answer me!" Ruto screeched, flailing her arms.  
  
Navi grimaced. It wasn't going to be a very happy journey.  
  
"Your father!" Link roared, threatening to throw her.  
  
Ruto fell silent for the next few moments, but she wasn't exactly the type to keep quiet forever.  
  
"I don't understand..." she muttered under her breath as Link threw her over a platform and jumping over shortly and picking her up again.  
  
"Don't understand what?" Link said icily.  
  
"I should be saved by a Zora, not a ignorant boy," Ruto murmured, as if Link didn't ask her anything.  
  
Link decided not to reply to this.  
  
"Look out!" Navi cried out.  
  
Three Biri were quickly approaching Link and Ruto.  
  
Ruto was busy brushing invisible dust off her fins, and was completely oblivious of the situation at hand.  
  
Link dropped the vain Zora on the ground and held up his shield.  
  
The nearest Biri oozed a disgusting purple liquid onto Link.  
  
Navi flew up to them and beat her wings rapidly, knowing it to annoy them.  
  
Link, however, was somewhat blinded and couldn't see, dropped his shield and walking in the opposite direction.  
  
"No, Link! Not that-"  
  
_Crash._  
  
Link fell into a small pool of water, but the good thing was that the liquid washed away, and his eyes could see, but his view was blurry.  
  
Navi watched in horror as the jellyfish slowly approached Ruto, still oblivious.  
  
"Ruto!" Navi yelled. "Get away from there!"  
  
Ruto was so absorbed she didn't even hear Navi.  
  
"Boy!" she screamed. "I need you to pick me up!"  
  
When she didn't hear Link respond, she started to whine.  
  
"Hey, get up here!"  
  
She started pounding her fists on the ground, and unfortunately for the Biri, it was near enough to Ruto to stun her, but she was near enough to pound the Biri to the ground.  
  
The Biri flattened until it was completely 2-D.  
  
Navi gazed at it in shock.  
  
The other two Biri floated towards Ruto's head.  
  
Ruto got up angrily and looked around. "Hey, boy, I'm talking to you!"  
  
"Can't you listen!?!?!?!" she complained.  
  
Ruto noticed a small tentacle floating in front of her, but mistook it for a...  
  
"Ewww, a fly!"  
  
Slap.  
  
The Biri shook violently and fell to the ground.  
  
Ruto ignored the corpses and walked to Navi.  
  
Navi was still gaping at Ruto.  
  
"What????" Ruto asked irritably. "Answer!"  
  
_Bzzzzzzzzzzttt._  
  
The remaining Biri buzzed in pain and fell to the ground.  
  
Ruto smiled.  
  
Navi looked at her, confused. "How did it die?"  
  
Ruto held up a bottle with the label, "Eau de Ruto".  
  
"It's a spicy, fresh perfume that's a dead ringer!"  
  
She pressed a weird looked switch on it, causing some nasty-looking fumes to escape.  
  
Navi choked and nearly fell down to the ground.  
  
"It's nice, isn't it?" Ruto said, squirting some onto her fins. "I made it. Best ingredients in Zora's Domain. Dead fish held in a bottle for thirty days mixed with some Eyeball Frog skin, and then you add some-"  
  
"Stop!" Navi choked, not wanting to hear more.  
  
Link came up to Navi and Ruto, wet and sticky.  
  
"What was that stuff I just fell in???" Link demanded.  
  
"I'm not sure you want to know..." Navi replied grimly.  
  
The trio walked across the bridge. 


	30. A Zora, a Kokiri, and a Fairy

**Sorry I haven't been updating lately-I got Majora's Mask!(throws confetti) Stupid Great Bay, where's Zora Hall!?!?!??!? Muahahaha, expect some fanfiction for Majora's Mask after I'm done....say about...a few weeks, depending on walkthrough details and such....oh, and anybody with tips on how to get in Zora's Hall, TELL me. **

**Anyways, I'll stop talking and get on with the story.**

**Oh yeah, and thanks Krystal Fox for the eh...Biri tip? I'll move my lazy butt and try to fix it by today.**

**Disclaimer: ....(stabs with Biggoron sword) That's better.**

* * *

Navi thought that in the future, she could tell her grandchildren, "Yes, I had a partner that was as dimwitted as a Dodongo, couldn't use his sword properly, bad-mannered, _weird_, oh, and he was a Child of Destiny." 

If they could survive this.

It was a pretty uneventful journey across the bridge. Ruto was still bickering that either Link smelled like poop, or he was such a weakling. The Kokiri was turning a nice cherry red, and Navi could've sworn she saw steam come out of his ears.

Finally, Link couldn't hold it in anymore.

"Eeeeeeek!"

Ruto went flying through the air and skittered to a stop at the end of the bridge.

Link cooled down and let out a sigh of relief.

The brief moment of silence didn't last very long.

Ruto stomped up to Link angrily and started to pout.

"Don't you dare do that again! How rude! I could've gotten _hurt_!"

Link tried to get by her, but Ruto blocked the way.

"I demand that you apologize!" Ruto yelled.

Navi couldn't help but feel a tiny bit sorry for Link.

"Now, Ruto, let's get a move on and find your er...stone and we can leave quickly," Navi soothed in an unsure voice, not knowing whether the princess would simply get more angered or simper up and continue.

Ruto huffed impatiently. "Fine, little fairy. It's a good thing I took a liking to you."

She marched off, her nose in the air.

"Why don't we leave her here and nab the stone for ourselves?" Link suggested.

"I'm starting to consider that," Navi said in a stony tone, gazing at the marching Zora.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" Ruto screeched.

Link and Navi exchanged miserable glances.

Navi sighed. "C'mon."

They crossed the bridge to find the vortex room again.

Link stared, confused. "What? But..."

Navi slowly floated over to the other side.

"Hey, there's a door!" the fairy called out.

Ruto and Link caught up with her, dodging the numerous Biri and vortexes.

"Wait, Link." Navi said. "Draw your sword."

"Sure, why?"

"I don't know. I just get this feeling."

"Uh...right."

Inside the room, Navi was correct.

A Biri lunged at Link, and unfortunately, the Kokiri's instincts weren't quick enough.

Link fell to the ground, stunned.

Navi's eyes widened as the Biri continued to try and fry Link.

"Eau de Ruto!" Navi yelled to the Zora princess. "Use it!"

"Why?" Ruto asked, looking down in disgust at Link.

Navi was at a loss of words.

"Why!?!?!?!?!?" Navi exclaimed. "Just take a look at him! Spray it!"

Ruto looked disgruntled. "Nobody can order me around-I'm the princess."

Navi had to convince Ruto to do it, and quick. Quickly, she put on a sweet, honey-like voice, but she grimaced in disgust at what she was doing.

"Er...sir...I mean, whoops, my fair lady-I mean, my fair Zora....can I have the honour to nab the stone..I mean, ack, I mean, can I have the honour to ask you to spray...er...your "lovely" perfume?"

Ruto looked surprised. "Um, ok."

The Biri squeaked in agony and fell, twitching on the ground.

Link got up and groaned, examining his numerous blue bruises.

"I know I beat a world record..." Link muttered.

"C'mon, let's go across that path," Navi called as she entered the door by herself.

Link and Ruto came up shortly, still bickering.

"You didn't save me!!!" Link yelled.

"Oh yes I did!" Ruto huffed.

"Uh...guys?" Navi squeaked.

"Later, Navi!" Link ordered, not looking at her. "What, are you expecting me to bow down and thank you for your "kindness"?"

Ruto's eyes gleamed with anger. "Yes, I do!"

Link clenched his fists. "Well, I wo-"

"Guys!" Navi screamed. "There is a two-foot monster in front of us!"

An awkward silence filled the room.

Ruto, along with Link and Navi, screamed.


	31. Navi's Trick

**Now, a new chapter! I'm amazed I was able to push myself out of bed and onto the computer.**

**ZZZZzzzzzz.... **

**N-eways...I still have the same faithful reviewers! Wooh! I was afraid I chased 'em away when I didn't update. (shiver) Oh, and a small mistake-it was supposed to be ten foot, all right?**

**Disclaimer: I will continue to use various methods of my unowned Zelda weapons to torture this. (places bomb and runs away)**

**Ah, thanks SilentVamp, I'll be sure to ask you in the future!**

**P.S. I got into Zora Hall!

* * *

**

**Inside Lord Jabu-Jabu**

Link was prancing around in circles, and Ruto was screaming her head off, giving Navi a headache.

But of course, they hadn't really seen it-it was simply their imagination.

For Link, when Navi said, "ten foot monster", what came into mind was a ten foot scaly bird that breathed fire with sharp, silver claws that was screeching loudly-which was Ruto.

For Ruto, when Navi said, "ten foot monster", what came into her mind was a slightly different image-only a ten foot person threatening he was going to take her teddy. But of course, she was screaming like mad, as if to muffle the imaginary threats.

"Don't burn me!" Link whimpered.

"Don't take my teddy!" Ruto screamed shrilly.

That snapped both of them awake.

Link was staring at Ruto with amazement. Then he burst into a fit of giggles.

Ruto blushed and glared at him. "What?"

Navi was laughing her head off.

"You two are simply TOO guillible!" Navi gulped, trying to catch her breath. "Just look!"

Link cowered and peeked through the small holes in his hands.

Ruto simply stared.

"Nothing," she uttered.

"Nothing," Link echoed.

Navi giggled. She knew that the two would gang up on her to try and catch her. It was simply a trick. The fairy was ready to burst with all their fighting.

Link looked ready to explode as he got up.

Ruto's light blue fins curled dangerously.

_Here it is,_ Navi thought. _At least they'll stop fighting for a while._

"You stupid brat!" Ruto screamed.

At first, Navi thought she was talking to her, but it turned out she was talking to Link!

"What???" Link said, astonished. "I didn't do anything!"

"You and your fairy planned this, didn't you! To frighten a harmless, poor, little girl!"

Navi gulped. This wasn't how it was supposed to go.

"No, Ruto! I did it all!"

Ruto glared at Navi. "He planned it, and you carried it out!"

She turned to Link-or rather thin air.

Link was running for his...unbruised cheek.

"You come back here!" Ruto yelled, starting to chase him.

Link squeaked and added a few spurts of speed to his run.

Navi sighed. Well, at least they would make it quick through this dungeon.

Ruto, however, was much faster and caught up to Link easily.

Link sighed. "I wish it didn't have to come to this."

Ruto started to choke because of the eh...gas....

Link grinned and continued to run.

The minute Ruto gained her strength, she raced up to him, but was almost immediately thrown back with fumes.

Navi smiled. In a way, it was sort of beneficial.

* * *

**Short Author's Note (SAN) :Sorry this is such a short chappie, I needed something short to link to the next chapter.**


	32. What's Going On?

> **Nothing much to say......................except that the writing format got real messed up. I can't undo it, sorry, we'll see what happens later, on the next chapter. Oh, and sorry if I accidentally put "Tatl" instead of Navi...(takes out flaming, burning hot Majora's Mask out of N64 and puts in frozen, stone cold Ocarina of Time in.**
> 
> **Disclaimer:** **(backs off and fires unowned ice arrow at disclaimer)**
> 
> **Small note to SilentVamp: I beat the game!**
> 
> **Thanks, Inversion. :) But I bet someone else might of thought of that, too. :D**
> 
> * * *
> 
> Ruto had given up a while after the fumes went a little bit up her head., dodged the smoke and cried out to Link to stop. 
> 
> Navi was silently floating ahead, careful not to get caught in the gas.
> 
> Link, unaware Ruto surrendered, was still running swiftly, occasionally getting stunned by Biri, but almost immediately getting up and continued his run.
> 
> Finally, Ruto stopped and dropped to the ground, exhausted, unable to go any further.
> 
> Link, through some freaky way, heard Ruto fall to the ground and let out a famous, "Ha-HA!"
> 
> Navi almost swore she saw a small smile creep up Ruto's face, but it vanished almost instantly, replaced with fatigue.
> 
> Ruto slumped down, crying out, "You've won, you've won."
> 
> Link looked triumphantly at Navi, and jogged back to Ruto.
> 
> "Hah!" Link cried out proudly. "I knew girls won't last."
> 
> Ruto grinned and leapt at him, knocking him over into the water.
> 
> Link gaped in amazement at the smiling Zora princess.
> 
> Ruto was yawning, standing on the bridge and tapping her foot impatiently.
> 
> "C'mon," she whined. "I need my stone."
> 
> Link, who was still temporarily stunned, shook his head, clambered up the ladder and rubbed his eyes.
> 
> "You did that?" Link said in awe. "You pushed me over? _You_?"
> 
> "Yes, me! I needed to teach an ignorant, annoying, hopeless five-year old boy a lesson!"
> 
> "Actually, I'm ten." Link added.
> 
> Ruto ignored him and continued her tirade. "You act like five! I probrably overloaded your puny little brain-if you even have one-with information."
> 
> She clicked her tongue sternly. "You probrably don't even know what overloaded is, do you?"
> 
> Link scratched his head. "I think it means like....you...overload stuff."
> 
> "No, you dimwit, what does overloaded _mean?_"
> 
> "Uh, let's get going, why won't we?" Link muttered, starting to run ahead of her.
> 
> Ruto grinned and followed.
> 
> They were in a room with three passageways. One leading up, one leading left, and one leading right.
> 
> "All right," Link decided finally, "Ruto, you go up, Navi, go left, and I'll go right."
> 
> Before the two girls could protest, Link started running away.
> 
> "I better follow him, y'know, make sure he er...doesn't..lose..uh...me?"
> 
> Navi flew away, eager to leave Ruto.
> 
> Ruto looked down sadly. "I need a hug."
> 
> (SAN: From Shrek, if you haven't realized yet.)
> 
> Link was sighing in relief. "She's gone?"
> 
> Navi nodded. "Yes."
> 
> "Phew."
> 
> Navi noticed the vein running along the wall.
> 
> It led to a door...a door!
> 
> "Link! Over there!"
> 
> Navi flew excitedly over to the door, nearly slamming into it.
> 
> Link took in a deep breath just as the door closed behind them. A huge tentacle thingy was hanging from the ceiling.
> 
> "Eek! Monster!"
> 
> "Calm down, Link!" Navi squeaked. "Just conc-concentrate and kill it!"
> 
> But Link wasn't looking at it. He was pointing at a spider on the ground.
> 
> "Eeeeee! Kill it!"
> 
> "Look at the ceiling!" Navi cried out hotly.
> 
> Link glanced at the ceiling and shrugged.
> 
> "So what? Look at that!!!"
> 
> He again stabbed his finger at the spider.
> 
> "Oh, for CRYING OUT LOUD!!!"
> 
> Navi flew down and squashed the spider.
> 
> Link gaped in amazement.
> 
> "You killed it." he echoed.
> 
> "I killed it. Now you kill THAT!!!" Navi yelled irritatingly, flying up to the green tentacle.
> 
> "Sure!" Link said enthusiastically. "Now that you've cleared my fears entirely, I shall now dispose of this annoying creature!"
> 
> He raised his Kokiri sword, aimed, and threw with deadly accuracy.
> 
> The sword hit directly in the center.
> 
> Flailing, the tentacle dropped the ground and went up in smoke, leaving a treasure chest and Link's sword.
> 
> "How did-"
> 
> "Questions, questions, questions. Please," Link chuckled in a fancy British accent. "Now, I think we ought to leave and return to the rather irritating "princess"."
> 
> "Not again.." Navi moaned.
> 
> Link walked swankily to the treasure chest, kicked it open, and collected the jewel encrusted boomerang.
> 
> Navi gazed distastefully at Link.
> 
> "C'mon, let-"
> 
> Link raised a hand patiently and shook his head. "No need for your words, Navi. I think I can manage quite well without them."
> 
> Navi looked at Link, stunned and insulted. That was the first time Link had actually insulted her.
> 
> "Fine!" Navi spat. "Fine, mister smarty boy!"
> 
> "Actually...it's better if you said Mr. SmartyPants. It's much more insulting, and makes much more sense."
> 
> The remark stung.
> 
> Navi flew off in rage, listening in horror as Link laughed pompously.
> 
> _I hate him! _Navi thought angrily. _How dare he!_
> 
> Link caught up to Navi and Ruto a while later, and Ruto was quite astonished at how Navi was paying more attention to her while Link was much more polite.
> 
> "My fair princess, allow me to direct you to the next chamber of this fascinating creature."
> 
> Ruto was stunned.
> 
> Navi felt sick from all the talk.
> 
> "Oh, be quiet!" Navi screamed, unable to hold it in much longer.
> 
> Link looked up at Navi, half-way in a bow. "Why, my dearest? I see no need."
> 
> Navi wanted so badly to punch Link in the face. Instead, she mustered up every foul word she could think of.
> 
> "You insolent, crude, mean, horrible, ugly-"
> 
> Link's eyes suddenly started to roll in circles. His face moved left and right constantly, like someone was slapping him full force. Suddenly, he doubled over and started to choke.
> 
> All the anger and anxiety melted away as Navi immediately flew down to him and asked worriedly, "Are you all right???"
> 
> Link's mouth opened and gibberish spewed out.
> 
> "Link!" Navi screamed.
> 
> The Kokiri started shaking all over. It looked like he was going to explode!
> 
> "Slap him!" Navi said desperately to Ruto.
> 
> "My pleasure," Ruto replied in disgust. She swung her hand at Link's cheek.
> 
> Link let out a weird, "Mmff," noise and fell to the ground, silent and still.
> 
> "Link?" Navi squeaked in a small voice.
> 
> "Ohhhh....." Link moaned. "I don't feel too good...."
> 
> He got up shakily and touched his cheek.
> 
> "Who slapped me?"
> 
> Navi looked incredously at Link.
> 
> "You mean..." Navi said slowly, taking it in. "You didn't...you don't remember?"
> 
> "Remember what? All I saw was you killing this spider, and here I am now."
> 
> "He doesn't remember." Navi uttered softly.
> 
> Link's sapphire eyes were clouded with confusion. "What? Remember what?"
> 
> Navi just realized Ruto was listening.
> 
> "Nothing," Navi muttered. She would resolve it after she talked to the Great Fairy in this area.
> 
> Link's eyes didn't look at all like they did before.
> 
> They seemed to have lost their spark, and were a bit dull.
> 
> Navi fretted silently. What was going on?
> 
> ****


	33. Big Octos, Barinades, Ruto, AHHH!

**Ehehehe, thanks, Krystal Fox. My stories can't be _that _good. Or can they? (ego moves up a notch)**

**Disclaimer: Today, I have a special method. (scoops it up in bottle and tosses it out into Lake Hylia) Bye bye!**

* * *

Navi was constantly sweating and fretting about Link, while Link was completely unaware anything had happened, and Ruto...well, she was just tagging along, irritating everybody. 

The left and upper passageways were blocked by some weird wall that had extra thick bonds that Link couldn't hack to pieces.

The boomerang didn't have much effect-it simply bounced off and fell to the floor.

It had a sort of rubbery feel.

They left through the passage which they came from and went back to the vortex room.

"Link!" Navi cried out. "Since you killed that weird tentacle, we can drop down that vortex that was once blocked by it!"

Link frowned. "Killed what tentacle?"

"Oops." Navi had forgotten he didn't have any memories of what happened back then. "Let's just drop down."

Link shrugged. "Okay."

Navi jumped down first and waited impatiently as Ruto came bounding down.

"Ruto? Where's Link?"

"You mean the boy? He's too scared, he won't come down."

Navi sighed in exasperation and flew up to the vortex and tried to cram herself back in.

"Link! Come down here right now!"

**Vortex Room-What happened BEFORE Ruto came flying down.**

Link was about to jump down when Ruto shoved him out of the way and dived in.

Unfortunately, Link tottered over and fell into another vortex, with no clue where he was, fairyless, and confused.

"Navi?" Link whimpered. "Ruto?"

The Kokiri, without his fairy, was like...eh...peanut butter without jam?

"I'm scared." Link said aloud, to no one in particular.

(SAN: I'm using this a lot, aren't I? I don't own LOTR.)

"I know you are, Gollum." Link said back to himself.

"Smeagol! Smeagol! Smeagol is frightenened!" Link cried out.

"Calm yourself, woman. You must find the Preciiiousss..." Link said in a soothing voice.

Link's expression turned to one of glee. "Yessss, yesss...the Precciiiiousss..."

The Kokiri suddenly snapped out of it.

"Woo. I really need to stop hanging with weird people like Ruto."

Link stumbled through the darkness, having no idea he was being watched closely.

"Owwwwiiiieee!!!!"

Link had hit some spikes.

It skinned his hand horribly.

"Oooh, ooh, ooh, oohh...."

Link sucked his finger, even though that part wasn't injured. Then he kissed the skinned mark.

"It's okay," Link cooed. "Linky's here."

_Hiiisss...._

"I know, Skinny, you don't have to tell me..."

_HISSSSSS....._

"Awww, Skinny want to go play?"

The lights suddenly flickered on.

A Big Octo came into view, thrashing violently.

Link took one look at the Big Octo, then at his red hand, and covered it, embarrased.

"Don't tell me you heard that." Link whimpered.

The Big Octo started to chase after him, it's eyes glowing with a menacing light.

"Eeeeeee!!!"

Link jumped onto the spikes by accident and kept on hopping up, reaching the platform in the center.

"Hey, cool!"

The platform started to move while the Big Octo stood indigantly, watching it.

**Back where Navi and Ruto are**

"Great!" Navi said, not trying to hide her disappointment. "We lost him!"

Ruto shrugged. "So what?"

"Waitaminute." Navi looked at Ruto with a piercing glare. "You...why, you didn't...you didn't...what really happened up there?"

Ruto shifted uncomfortably. "Nothing."

Navi's lie radar pulsed like mad.

"Tell me!" Navi demanded.

"No," Ruto said shakily.

"Oh, by the goddesses," Navi muttered. "Link..."

Ruto "harumphed", and sat down, crossing her legs and arms and pouting.

Navi ignored Ruto and started flying through the path that led straight to the room of the Big Octo.

Ruto immediately leapt to her feet and started following her.

"Leave me alone," Navi grumbled, not looking back.

"I'm the princess, don't you dare tell me what to do." Ruto snarled.

"Oh yeah?" Navi shot back. "We wouldn't have to be looking for him in the first place if you hadn't-"

The fairy suddenly stopped. "Hey, what _did _you do to him"

"Pushed him," Ruto muttered.

"What?" Navi said in an irritatingly sweet voice, although she heard perfectly.

"I pushed him, okay??? Sorry!"

Navi silently started to think what Link was doing as she dodged some bubbles.

_He's probrably dead by now..._Navi thought, swallowing hard.

The tunnel suddenly came to a sharp curve and then an end.

The Big Octo scented Navi and Ruto's presence and slowly turned around.

Ruto gulped.

Navi saw the edges of the platform on the ceiling, and then a-

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

Link's sharp and piercing cry rang through the chamber, echoing from the ceiling.

Navi charged in, determined and ready to die.

The Big Octo started moving, and the platform started to come down, with Link still on top of it, screaming at full blast.

Shrieking in pain, the Big Octo started to flail wildly, deafened by the sound.

It crashed straight into the spikes surrounding the platform.

_Pop._

The platform started to move up, with the Big Octo defeated.

Ruto's eyes widened as she desperately made a jump.

"Hold your hand out!" Navi screamed.

Giddy with the defeat of the Big Octo, Link held out a sweaty, grimy hand over the spikes.

Ruto took one look at the dirt covered on some of the fingers, pretended to choke, and grabbed his hand.

Link repulsed back and nearly threw her over the other side in his desperation to get her off.

Ruto went twisting through the air and landed a few inches away from the edge.

The platform suddenly locked into place as Link, Navi, and Ruto scurried out of view and took a look around.

Navi looked straight into the middle of the room, and saw why Link screamed so shrilly.

There was a big, fat, Barinade right in the middle.


	34. What's Next?

**Ooogies, I'm excited. The whole plot is revealed after the Barinade.**

**Disclaimer: (delivers a few blows with Biggoron sword)**

* * *

Link was too petrified to move, while Ruto's mouth opened, but no sound came out. 

Navi wanted to say, "Ok, people, let's try to kill this guy,", but the words got caught in her mouth and came out as, "Ah."

The Barinade hadn't yet noticed their presence, and was..._talking?_

"What??? I can't be called Queen or King or something? Stupid...darn...royals!"

Navi noticed an Octorok squeaking away.

"Well, Mr. Barinade, you have no royal relations, so you can't be called...eh....King Barinade."

"That's not fair!" the Barinade whined. "Gohma and Dodongo get "King's" and "Queen's" in front of their name! I'm a boss, too! AND I'm much more powerful than them!"

The Octorok trembled in fear, but straightened himself and continued squeaking away.

"Queen Gohma comes from a very respectful generation of royalty over the kingdom of skulltulas. King Dodongo was made king over the Dodongos because apparently he burned one of the best Gorons in the city."

The Barinade grumbled. "Well, King Dodongo didn't have any royal relations."

"Sir, we in Jabu-Jabu would be glad to call you our King."

A sort of pink tinge appeared all over the Barinade.

"Well....true. All right! Leave, Smithers!"

The Octorok looked relieved, and dived down, out of sight.

"Now...I can examine this beautiful jewel which I stole from that irritating brat."

The Barinade's tentacles seemed to be rummaging in the ground.

"Ahh...no, that's not it..."

Link squinted as he flattened himself against the wall and saw the purple words, "How to Get a "King" or "Queen" in front of your name."

Ruto managed to hold in a gasp as the Barinade withdrew a sparkling sapphire.

"My stone!" she whispered to Link.

Link grunted and placed his hand on the hilt of his sword.

"This will be easy."

The Kokiri sword whizzed through the air like a missile and went straight into the Barinade's...stomach?

Wheezing, the Barinade slowly started to sink to the ground, and the sapphire clinked and fell, stopping a few feet in front of Ruto.

Ruto leapt to the stone and picked it up, nearly yelling, "Woo hoo!"

Then she walked back to Link and said, "you can take me home now."

Link gulped and watched with growing unease as the Kokiri sword suddenly thrust itself out of the Barinade's stomach and went flying back to Link.

Point-side.

Link's eyes widened as it headed straight for his neck.

He raised his arms to shield himself and-

The Kokiri sword missed an slammed straight into the wall a few centimetres away from Link's neck.

It quivered for a few seconds and then remained jammed and still.

Link whimpered and fell to the ground in a faint.

Navi's eyes widened as she drew up all the facts:

-Ruto equaled nothing.

-Link was armed to the teeth with a boomerang, bombs, a sword, and a slingshot, but fainted.

_It looks like it's up to me..._Navi thought, trembling.

Ruto took one look at the fallen Link, Navi talking to herself, and put it together.

"What's goin' on?"

Navi ignored Ruto, too lost in thought to hear her, immersed inside millions of battle strategies.

"Well, _excuse _me, I thought you people were supposed to attack me!" the Barinade snorted indigantly.

Ruto frowned. "Hey, didn't you...didn't you take my stone?"

"Wha? Oh, are you that brat that Ganon ordered me to steal from?"

Ruto's fins curled up into fists.

"Don't you dare call me a brat!" Ruto snarled.

Navi didn't notice anything as Ruto became a blue blur, ramming straight into the Barinade.

The Barinade went flying through the air and slammed into the wall.

"You brat-" the Barinade started to gasp.

"It's Princess Ruto!" Ruto yelled.

Ruto did a few cartwheels and used her fins to cause a few gaping wounds.

Blue blood poured out in puddles.

And that was when Ruto lost it all.

"Ick! Ack! Eewwwwwww!!!"

The young Zora started hopping up and down, screaming at the top of her lungs.

"Stop it! You're giving me a headache!!" the Barinade shouted over the sound.

The blood slowly started to seep into the ground.

"Noooo! Eeeee! I can't afford to lose anymore blood!"

"How come?" Ruto asked, freezing.

"Well, it's because Ganon took some blood from Jabu-Jabu when he was sick. He killed some Biri, and mixed it up with the blood to form me." the Barinade explained patiently.

"Ah, I see." Ruto replied, nodding.

"Yes, and-what??? What am I doing!!?!?!? It's time to kill!"

The Barinade suddenly started spinning all over the room, deadly whips (SAN: Sorry if it's like Majora's Mask, this was purely out my imagination! (shifts uncomfortably)) protruding and slashing the wall, causing blood to spill out.

"Yes! Health!"

The Barinade's whips vanished from view as he went sweeping towards the wall and absorbed the blood.

Ruto gulped.

The Barinade seemed to be growing to a monstrous size.

Navi was still in mid-air, untouched and unaware of anything happening.

Link, fortunately, was stirring.

"Eughhh...what's going on?"

Shaking his head, the Kokiri's eyes widened as he spotted his sword embedded in the wall. Then his gaze slowly met the huge Barinade.

"Augh."

Link fell down, pretending to be dead.

"You coward!" Ruto screamed.

"Here! Take this and kill him!" Link said in a muffled, weak voice, which was really poor acting.

The Boomerang went whizzing through the air and cut straight into the Barinade and flew straight into Ruto's open palm.

"Nice!" Ruto yelled as started running into the Barinade.

"What are you doing!?!!?" Link asked, bewildered, abandoning his acting.

"Killing this thing!" Ruto screamed.

Ruto shoved the sword into the Barinade and grunted as the Barinade tried to force it out.

Navi looked at Link with a look that clearly said, "What are you waiting for, you dingbat?? Help her!"

Link's face melted to one of reluctance and fright.

"This is for our lives!" Navi yelled.

Link reached out a hand to his slingshot, but it paused in mid-air.

"So you're waiting for a _girl _to take the big nasty monster out???" Navi taunted.

Link's face contorted in rage as his hand went flying down to the slingshot while his other hand whizzed down to his bomb bag.

All Navi and Ruto saw coming from Link was a hailstorm of Deku Seeds. They pelted the Barinade and pushed him back further into the wall inch by inch.

Suddenly it all stopped.

Link dropped the slingshot to the floor with a ,"I'm out." and quickly took out a bomb.

"You wouldn't...you wouldn't dare-" the Barinade whispered in a deathly, frightened voice.

Link ignored him and threw the bomb with all his might straight at the shaken monster.

It was like everything was going in sllloooowww motion. The bomb slowly started to make it's way to the Barinade while Link sneezed in slow motion and Ruto opened her mouth in surprise in slow motion.

"Get-out-of the way!" Link grunted to Ruto.

Ruto pulled the boomerang out and scrambled to the wall.

_KABOOM!_

The bomb exploded on contact and left everyone clouded in smoke and coughing.

Ruto took her chance and started to make her way back to Link while Navi flew through the smoke hoping she was going in the right direction.

"Guys?" Link wheezed. "Is the boss gone?"

"I think so," Navi coughed back, knowing she had found Link.

Link waved his hand around to part the smoke and squinted.

The Barinade was bleeding profusely and didn't look at all like he was ready to fight or get up.

"Ow...." he moaned. "I didn't expect this."

All of a sudden, red bumps started popping up all over him, until he was covered in them.

"Wow, he has a lot of pimples," Link noted.

"No, Link..." Navi said softly, flying over to the Barinade. "See? He's going to die soon."

_Splat!_

Navi grimaced as green goo splattered all over her as the Barinade exploded.

"I see," Link laughed.

"I wouldn't be talking, smart guy," Navi growled as she tried to shake it off, but it remained stuck tight, and the more she moved, the more the bonds of green tightened over her.

"Look! A light!" Ruto yelled.

Navi's attention was quickly diverted to the blue light shining.

"Yes!!! We're done!"

Navi sighed. "Let's get to Princess Zelda and tell her we have all three stones."

The trio stepped-well, Navi flew, onto the portal.


	35. Some Explanations

**Lol, yes Krystal Fox, I like that idea...**

**(imagines Ruto getting strangled)**

**Mmmhhh....lovely.**

**Ahem...(grabs Megaton Hammer and smashes disclaimer into pieces)**

* * *

Link..once again, fell on a small island and broke through into the water. 

"Oh, geez," Link bubbled from underwater. "Just sweet."

Navi luckily landed in the water and watched as the goo started to dissolve.

"Yes, freedom!"

Ruto laughed as she swam around in the water joyfully and quickly clambered up on the small island with the hole Link had made.

Navi hid a grin as she whispered in Link's ear as he bobbed up and down in the water, "Quick, take the stone! Ruto dropped it!"

Link yelped in surprise, alarming Ruto and causing her to see the stone.

"Oh, thanks, I nearly forgot about that."

She snatched it out and looked at the gleaming sapphire with pride.

Navi had an idea. Fancy talk made Ruto a bit dizzy, didn't it?

"Link....flatter her!"

Link, however, was far away from learning smart talk.

"Fine, I'll do it by myself."

Navi zipped over to Ruto.

"Oh, my er...lovely princess," Navi grimaced at what she was saying. "Um...wouldn't you like to give that ugly stone to your rescuers???"

Ruto looked dazed, but then almost immediately snapped out of it.

"No!!"

Navi bit her lip. This wasn't how things were supposed to go. She'd have to make a different approach.

"GIVE US THAT STINKIN' STONE OR WE'LL SKIN YOU ALIVE!!!"

Ruto whimpered but held the stone tight.

Navi brought up her fiercest look and improvised.

"AND WE'LL DESTROY YOUR TEDDY!"

Ruto tossed the stone at Link and Navi and swam off rapidly, crying out, "Daddy will hear this!"

Link pulled himself onto the island and plucked the floating sapphire out of the water.

Navi grinned as she floated around Link excitedly.

"Let's-"

All of a sudden, Clara's words hit her. Didn't one of her sisters live in Zora's Fountain?

"Let's go visit Clara's sister!"

Without waiting for Link to open his mouth to protest, Navi flew over to the suspicious brown rock. The fairy felt a strong scent of magic surrounding it.

"Link, bomb it!"

Link nodded and rummaged around for a bomb.

"Here's one...okay, get back, Navi!"

Navi flew back to Link and watched as the bomb soared through the air and-

_BOOM!!!_

The bomb exploded on contact as Navi cheered.

"Let's go in!"

Link checked his rupee pouch and nodded.

**Inside the Fairy Fountain**

Navi breathed in the delicous scent of magic as she floated over to the Triforce symbol on the ground.

"Okay, Link, you know what to do."

Link quickly stepped onto the symbol and played Saria's Song.

"What? C'mon, Link, play Zelda's Lullaby!"

"Oh, whoops."

The notes rang through the fountain, calling the Great Fairy.

"Who calls me, Carla?"

The Great Fairy with shimmering blue hair spotted Link and Navi.

"Your sister told me-"

"Ah...I see...Clara. Boy, you get out, your fairy and I need a little time to chat."

"Why?"

Carla looked ready to blow fire out of her mouth.

"BECAUSE I SAID SO!"

Link scurried out without another word.

"Hi," Navi squeaked.

Carla folded her arms and looked at Navi sharply, taking in her features and eyes.

"I see...you want to know what's wrong with your partner."

"Yes..." Navi mumbled.

"Well, my little fairy friend, I suggest you sit down and listen carefully to what I say."

Navi couldn't sit, so she hovered as close as she could to the Triforce symbol.

Carla seemed to sink down into the water.

"It goes like this..."

"Children of Destiny are blessed witih special powers. You probrably know that already, seeing as fairies do pay attention to us and tell it on the news...but the versions you hear are mere rumours...they are twisted versions of the truth. You see, your partner is one of the very few people that symbolize one of the three powers..."

"Power, wisdom, and courage?" Navi whispered.

"More like Disguise, Invisibility, and Strength. You see, your partner has the power of disguise."

Navi snorted. "Disguise?"

"Disguise, as changing one minute to a complete genius, then one minute later a complete idiot. They have completely different personalities, no?"

Navi nodded, absorbing all of the information.

"Well...these three powers originate from the Triforce."

"Huh??? What about power, wisdom and courage??"

"You see...that is the light Triforce. Disguise, Invisibility, and Strength, are all part of the dark Triforce, the complete opposite. Din, Farore, and Nayru....they created good races...did they not? You question why there is such bad in a world so blessed with good? Why are there monsters? Because of the Dark one. Because of the dark Triforce. A light Triforce holder will always have one of dark Triforce personalties."

"You mean that my partner is EVIL?" Navi exclaimed.

"No....your partner has split personalities...one is good, the other is bad."

"You mean..when he's a genius, he's bad?"

"Well, your partner can only go under so much strain...his two personalties are fighting for control...you notice how his changing is becoming much more often. That's why, when he becomes smart, the other personality is booted out into spirit form. Then the spirit hurts his opposite personality and all that for control."

Navi remembered how Link was punched back in Jabu-Jabu, and turned back to normal.

"Usually, the Triforce holder cannot control disguise. It takes a powerful mind. If one can control it completely, he can switch almost constantly back and forth."

"But why does he lose his memory?" Navi asked faintly, overwhelmed back all the information.

"I cannot tell you...there are things that even us Great Fairies do not know....the goddesses only gave us a small portion of their knowledge. But I will tell you this...Link is going under a dangerous transformation...the changes, growing more often is a warning that soon the evil one will take complete control...you must help him, Navi...there will be one who will tell you everything...you will meet him eventually....goodbye..."

Carla slowly started to spin around in circles as she faded away.

Navi gaped soundlessly as she just hovered there, motionless.

After a while, she floated out, not sure what to do next.


	36. Link, Meet Ganondorf

**Lol...don't worry, KrystalFox, I'm sure a plastic knife is enough to convince me...I have my own methods of torture, actually!**

**(holds up fork)**

**Whoops.**

**(holds up axe)**

**Yeah...I think you get the idea....**

**(chops up disclaimer with axe)**

**Who knew these things could be so helpful???**

* * *

**Hyrule Field**

Navi was hardly listening to Link as they made their way out of Zora's Domain and into Hyrule Field.

"How come that fairy didn't give me any rupees?" Link demanded.

"She ran out of them," Navi mumbled.

"Oh."

_What will happen after...after Link gives Zelda the three spiritual stones? _Navi wondered. _Will...will we go back to the forest?_

They started to approach the drawbridge, and-

_CRRAAACCCKKK!_

The beautiful sunshine and sky vanished almost instantly, replaced with dark clouds, and thunder.

A white horse came riding across the drawbridge, hooves hitting the ground furiously.

And on top of the saddle, was Impa and Zelda.

Zelda looked angry, and something was clenched tightly in her fist. When she caught a glimpse of Link, her mouth opened in surprise. It looked like she was doing some quick thinking.

Something blue went flying through the air and landed in the moat with a splash.

Zelda then held onto Impa tightly, her head buried in her back.

The Shiekah and the Hylian disappeared from view.

Link's eyes widened as he gazed at the black stallion rearing back. And atop the stallion was a man with black armor, flaming red hair, and green skin.

"That guy looks....familiar..."

Navi had a sudden flashback of what Darunia had said.

"Green, ugly, boy, he has no sense of fashion!"

The vile man was Ganondorf.

"You!!!" Ganondorf screeched, pointing at Link. "You are supposed to be long gone, dead!!!"

Link fainted.

"Stupid boy! I asked my minions and spies to get rid of them, but they obviously did not follow my orders!!"

Navi squeaked almost inaudibly, "who?"

A spasm of anger flitted across the man's face.

"Gohma, Balai, and Aliba! The monster, the Goron, and the Zora!"

Navi gaped.

"I poisoned that fool with a evil spider, to make sure he would die before he gave anybody the spiritual stone! I planted that Goron in the city to make sure that idiot of a Goron, Darunia, never gave the spirtual stone away until I managed to get there!!! And I put Aliba in Zora's Domain to make Jabu-Jabu sick! With him sick, he would do things he would never do in his right mind. Like swallow the one who bears the spiritual stone of water! Everything...all my hard work...they were all..." Ganondorf paused to grin evilly. "All different forms of me."

Navi's mouth dropped open.

"I was that child Joey in Kakariko...I did this all to obtain the golden Triforce!!! But you have spoiled my plans!!"

"When you killed Gohma, my spider form, I lost some of my power...it is time to return the favour!!!"

Ganondorf paused. "But then again. You are, a loser, a weakling, and a fool. I do believe I should have pity on you. It would be disgraceful not to."

He laughed.

"Goodbye. It wasn't a pleasure meeting you."

Still cackling, Ganondorf galloped away, grinning.

Link, who was rocking back and forth, whimpered, "is he gone?"

"He's gone," Navi squeaked.

"Great.."

Link got up and dived into the moat.

"What are you doing, Link?!??!?" Navi asked frantically.

Link resurfaced a while later, his eyes gleaming.

"Look at this ocarina! I bet I could sell it for a lot of rupees."

Navi looked at it in awe, remembering it in picturebooks...the Ocarina of Time!

"Link...what you have there is very valuable..don't sell it, all right?"

"Sure, why not?"

Link clambered out of the moat and then suddenly went flying back, his eyes closing.

"Link!??!?!" Navi cried out. "Don't tell me you're changing again..don't..."

**What Link is Thinking**

Mmmm....cheeseburgers...I sure could use a cheeseburger...

Hey, what's that??? That looks like an alter...hey, cool, I actually said "alter".

I just noticed...where's Navi? Shouldn't she be floating near me?

"Hello, Link."

Who said that?

"Link, it is I."

Who's I?

"Oh, you ignorant oaf, it's me, Zelda!!!"

Oh. That explains why the person who was standing next to the alter was fat.

"I will teach you a song. Keep it close to your heart and always remember it."

Okay, sure, no problem.

Wow, that was fast. The song of time, is it? Heh. I'm starting to get used to not having Navi floating near me. Sorta lonel-

**Back out of the Moat**

"Ooohhhh...." Link moaned, shaking his head. "What happened...?"

"Princess Zelda..she pulled you into a vision." Navi replied.

Link started to look for Saria's ocarina, but it was gone, like it didn't exist, and was replaced with the Ocarina of Time!

"Link, we have to go to the Temple of Time." Navi ordered.

"Why?"

"It's because you were mumbling all throughout the vision, "Temple...of Time....temple...of time..."

"Ok, sure. Let's go inside.

The fairy and Kokiri crossed the drawbridge uneasily, not knowing what would happen in the future.


	37. Another Delay

**(oogles) I have been updating more, lately? Really? I didn't notice. I mean, I never notice ANYTHING.**

**(slaps fly with hand automatically)**

**Lol, make that a big mac, and you'll have Link begging.**

**Bah! Me? Forget the...what was it called again? (thinks hard) I think it starts with a b...ah, who carrrees???**

**Thanks, Chocolate Starfish. By the way, I like your name. Mmm...mmm...**

****

**(coughs and picks up fire arrow and hits disclaimer) **

**I didn't do anything! (runs)**

**=D**

* * *

The market didn't seem so cheery and full of life anymore. Hardly any children were inside the market, and dogs were whimpering and pawing their owner's feet in fear. 

The remaining adults had fear plastered on their faces, and Navi saw a child in a house looking out the window and crying out, "is he gone yet?"

_Well, _Navi thought. _That must be Ganondorf._

"Hey, you!"

Link and Navi automatically looked ahead and saw a pale guard, looking sweaty and frightened.

"Have you heard about Ganondorf, the evil Gerudo man?"

"Who hasn't?" Navi said sarcastically.

Ignoring Navi's comment, the guard wiped his brow with a dirty hankerchief.

"He...he came by and knocked my son over while he was galloping away."

Sadness covered his face. "He's unconscious, and...well, I need someone to help him. I can tell you are from the forest, and forest people are well known healers. Please, help him!"

Navi looked at the guard, trying to decide if he was telling the truth. This could be another delay, made by Ganondorf.

But his eyes revealed nothing but pain and sadness.

"What about the castle? Isn't there a nurse there?"

The guard's face pulled up in a frown.

"Yes, well...forest people..are always better..."

He gave a weak smile, and started to walk away, and sniffed up a sob.

"Wait." Navi called out.

The guard stopped in his tracks, looking back eagerly.

"One second." Navi sighed, giving in.

The guard grasped Link's hands and said graciously, "Thank you, thank you."

Link followed the guard, having no idea what happened, as he had been immersed in the dreams of a juicy cheeseburger.

Navi looked reluctantly at the guard as he dragged Link to a nearby house.

"In here," the guard told them, and opened the door.

Link smelled a weird, musty, dirty scent filling the room.

Navi looked around curiously and saw only a few pieces of furniture.

Two beds were shoved into the far corner, and an empty bookshelf stood in another corner. There was a fireplace in the middle right, and a table and chairs with some fruit and bread atop it. Navi also noticed a small boy with brown hair on the bed.

The guard saw Navi glance across the room.

"We're moving soon," the guard explained. "Minute I heard Ganon was in town, my son and I started packing our bags and making arrangements to move to Kakariko, but...'"

The weary guard motioned to his son.

"What's your name, anyways?" Navi asked politely, feeling sorry for the father and boy.

"Alan. Yours?"

"Navi and Link. So, shall we take a look at your son?"

Alan nodded. "That'd be nice."

The boy was wearing a cheap brown tunic that looked very old and broken down. His arms and legs were covered in bruises, and he was moaning softly.

Navi grimaced, wondering what Alan's salary was.

"My wife died giving birth to him.." Alan heaved a weary sigh as he sat down on one of the chairs.

"I'm sorry to hear that," Navi said, her voice full of emotion.

Link was poking the boy on the bed, saying clearly, "how come he won't wake up?"

Navi dismissed Link with a cold glare, and the Kokiri immediately backed away a few steps and slammed straight into the bookshelf.

The bookshelf started to totter over as Link swayed, dizzy from the impact.

"Link! Get out of ther-"

The bookshelf started to slowly make it's way to the floor, with Link in the way.

Alan's eyes widened. He dove in, grabbed Link, and rolled out, gasping for air.

_Bam._

The bookshelf fell down with a clatter.

"Thank Farore there were no books in those...hopefully no damage to the bookshelf, either."

"You saved him." Navi uttered.

"Least I could do." the guard beamed.

"Father?"

The guard froze in his tracks. "Francis?"

The boy on the bed was stirring, rubbing his forehead.

"What happened? Are we in Kakariko?"

Navi smiled. Link had luck. Weird luck. If that bookshelf hadn't fallen, the boy wouldn't have woken up.

Not wanting to interrupt the moment, she whispered to Link, "Let's get out of here."

Link scratched his head. "Er...ok..bye!!!"

The Kokiri ran into the door.

Navi sighed, exasperated as the boy laughed weakly.

The guard was halfway across the room, and his hand was outscretched.

"Erm...it's okay...he's okay." Navi said awkwardly, trying to shove Link up.

Link groaned, got up, and rushed out the door.

Navi followed, rolling her eyes in amusement.

* * *

**This chappie wasn't meant to be funny in any way. It has some use in the future...;)**


	38. The Master Sword

**Oh, I feel so sorry for myself. I have to decide whether to make Link serious or dumb. **

**(sobs) I don't want a mob of reviewers to come after me in my sleep.**

**(breaks disclaimer with slingshot)**

**Ok, enough self-pity. On with the story!**

* * *

**Temple of Time**

"Mmm. This place smells fresh."

Navi hardly heard Link as she floated dreamily to the alter.

"Behind that door is the Triforce...wow...hey, what's that?"

Navi squinted and managed to make out white, curly letters.

"_This message is made of pure white ink, the tears of fallen angels. Only if you have a good heart may you read this precious bit of info."_

Navi beamed. "I have a good heart."

_"Read these instructions, and keep them close to you, for the minute you look away, these wise words will disappear after you look away._

_"If you hold the Three Spiritual Stones of the Forest, Fire, and Water, you hold only a little bit of the key._

_1. Obtain all spiritual stones-talk to the tree in the forbidden forest, save the hungry Gorons in the city, and strangle the brat of a Zora to steal her stone."_

"Oh, so we could've killed her? Neat."

_"2. Don't try to wrestle Princess Zelda, also known as a very powerful princess. Ease the ocarina out of her grip when she's boasting about her skill, and run for your life. Really. Run._

_3. Then, go to the Temple of Time and play the Song of Time in front of the alter after you've placed the three stones in the empty holes._

_And there you go! You have opened the Door of Time!!! Feel free to take the Triforce if you want to use it for good. _

_If you would like anymore information, please contact 293-4857-WE ARE LYING IT IS UP TO YOU TO DECIDE WHETHER YOU WOULD LIKE TO BELIEVE US. _

_Thank you and have a nice day._

Navi finished reading and looked back at Link in excitement.

"Link, quick, put the stones in the three holes and play the song of time."

Link hurried up to the alter and squished the stones in.

"Hey, how come the ruby won't fit???"

"You put it in the wrong hole-put the sapphire there."

"Oh, right."

Navi was quivering in excitement as-

"WHY ARE YOU PLAYING SARIA'S SONG??" Navi screamed.

"I like it." Link squeaked.

"Play..." Navi grunted, trying to keep her voice down, "the Song of Time if you value your life."

The slow, haunting melody echoed through the massive chamber as Navi shivered.

Slowly, the doors began to creak open.

Navi zipped through the passage like a rocket and gazed in admiration at the sharp, proud blade.

The Master Sword.

"Link," she called out.

Link came running in after a while and even he, with no liking for swords and stuff, looked at the Master Sword with his jaw dropped down.

"That...that's a nice sword..." Navi uttered.

"Very nice sword..." Link agreed, his fingers curling over the hilt. Surprisingly, the hilt looked made for him, and his fingers grew comfortable easily.

Out of instinct, Link pulled out the sword.

Navi's eyes widened half in amazement and fright.

_Whoosh._

The pair was rising...steadily rising up into the air...

Navi saw blue light surrounding everything. Link was still holding the sword tightly, like it was his newfound toy.

"Oh...nooo..."


	39. In the Chamber of Sages

**Oh man...this is it!**

**I will spare the disclaimer for today.**

**(disclaimer runs off)**

* * *

"Wake, Link...wake up.." 

Link groaned...what happened?

The Kokiri got up and brushed his abnormally-

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

Link fell back down and fainted.

Navi rubbed her eyes. It felt like she hadn't been awake for a long time.

Her gaze focused on an old man wearing yellow, aged robes.

Then her gaze focused on Link. Link, an adult.

Then she fainted.

The old man sighed and sat down to wait.

**Several Hours Later**

The aged man checked his watch impatiently as he glared at the fallen pair.

"Wake up...I've got some important documents to put away..."

**Two Weeks Later**

"Good thing I can go on without food...can you please just wake up?!?!?"

**One Year Later**

"I've had it."

The old man bent down and whispered in Link's ear, and then Navi's.

Only Navi stirred.

"Uhhh....Barney had-wha??? Who are you?!??? Where are we??"

The old man wasn't taking any chances.

"First, you must promise not to look at your partner till I have fully explained everything.

"Ok...."

"I am Rauru, the Sage of Light. You are in the Chamber of Sages."

Navi looked around and saw that they were on one of the numerous platforms in the room.

"Ok...why?"

"Because the moment your partner pulled out the Master Sword, a flurry of events took place."

Rauru sighed heavily. "Ganondorf, the evil Gerudo man, has claimed the Triforce and is now the Evil king."

It was like Rauru had delivered a fatal blow to Navi.

"Ganondorf-he took over Hyrule??" Navi sputtered.

"Yes. With the Triforce, it was quite an easy task. He used your partner. Ganondorf literally walked into the Sacred Realm and took the golden Triforce."

"And you let him?" Navi said sarcastically.

"I am powerless compared to him. Only the might of the seven sages can-"

"Wait, just tell me...what do Link and I have to do with all of this?"

Rauru took a deep breath.

"Your partner is the Hero of Time."

"AHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

Navi started laughing uncontrollably. "Link? A Hero??? HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!"

Tears started to pour out of her eyes because she was laughing so hard.

"That's a good one!" Navi cried out, trying to catch her breath.

"I do not lie." Rauru said calmly.

Navi's laughter faltered.

"You...you aren't joking?"

"No. It is fated that when evil strikes Hyrule with great force, the Hero of Time, also a bearer of the legendary Triforce and a Child of Destiny would repel the evil."

"But Link....he's only a Kokiri...a coward, only asked to retrieve the three spiritual stones!"

"He is more then you think..." Rauru said mysteriously. "I only reveal to you what you must know."

"But...why is he an adult?"

"Because, a child cannot save Hyrule. Only when evil was at it's highest peak may light shine."

Navi felt overwhelmed.

"Is he....is he still the same Li-"

"Do you mean, has his evil personality taken over him over several years? With no influence from you, do you mean that his good has vanished?"

"Yeah.."

"Navi....it depends upon you, really."

"What??!?!?"

"Yes. Your power of your bond with Link is strong enough to waft away any force, and yet is weak enough to let the force take over. I am saying..you only have a limited time. When he wakes up...he could be the same Link you knew seven years ago...or different...much different. It is up to you. Tell me your decision."

Navi flinched. "But...this...it's such a hard decision."

Rauru nodded. "I understand. Which is why..."

The old man in the yellow robes turns to you. Yes, you, picking your nose while you read this or either eating some chips while you read this.

"Which is why you require the help of the people reading this."

* * *

**That's right, ppl, should Link be serious or stupid?**


	40. The Shiekah

**Oh geez...I'm under so much stress....(looks back and forth at each review)**

**Ok, basically everybody wants Link to be serious...but does he HAVE to be evil? (puppy eyes)**

**Oh, man.**

**(takes in deep breath)**

**Ok...um...I think I lost all my anger to the disclaimer in all my stress...but who cares, I'll do it for fun.**

**(tramples disclaimer with Epona)**

* * *

Navi gulped. "Is it possible...is it possible for him to be...normal? I mean, smart and stuff, but not...too smart or anything, and not evil." 

Rauru's eyes pierced Navi's with a frown.

"Well..." he said finally, "I suppose it could be done. But I warn you, Navi. His evil personality will and can spring out when it wants to....so be careful..."

"Is there anyway I can detect when he'll...change?"

"Always look into his eyes. If you see anger mixed with sadness, you'll know. But don't take it for granted."

"Okay...so, what do we do?"

"I think that if you would like to discuss that...you should ask your partner to wake up."

Navi felt cold all over. _Did I choose correctly?_

The fairy slowly made her way to Link.

**Two Hours Later**

Rauru looked impatiently at the fairy, who was hovering over Link's left ear.

"Is he not waking up?"

"I dunno-I'm just checking out this neat earring. How'd he get it?"

"Just wake him up."

Navi shrugged and prodded Link on the shoulder. "C'mon Link...wake up..."

Link mumbled something that sounded like, "Chee....see......"

"Burger." Navi finished.

Link started to stir.

"Ugh...what happened?"

"Don't look at your body." Rauru warned. "I need to-"

"He needs to explain, Link. Just listen and don't look."

"Um..all right."

Rauru proceeded to update him on everything.

"Your goal is to free the seven sages in the seven temples. Someone will tell you the information you need to start your journey right after. You may look at yourself now."

Link carefully glanced down and saw that he had grown in height, and his arms were longer in length and his hat was even bigger to fit his head.

"But...aren't I supposed to be..."

"A Kokiri? Yes, I know. As I said, someone will explain it to you. Goodbye, Link."

_Flash._

Link rubbed his eyes. "What happened to me, Navi? I feel like....something...something's stopping me from saying things I want to."

Navi looked guiltily at Link. "Some things...something happened in the...in the chamber."

_Well, better get used to this. I guess I'll miss the ,"Mido's my mommy!" or the..."Ewww, what's that???"_

Navi was so wrapped up in her thoughts she didn't even notice their surroundings had changed, and that they were back in the room...the room where Link pulled out the Master Sword.

"Hello, Hero."

"Hi."

Link was staring at the man staring at him.

"So you are the ray of light who will dispose of the darkness," the man said softly.

Link burped. "Sorry. I just had a-"

The Kokiri looked like he was having a stroke.

"-bottle of water." he finished uneasily.

Navi stared in wonder. _So that's what he meant by something's stopping him...he would of said coke..._

"Forgive me, I haven't introduced myself. I am Shiek, one of the few survivors of the Shiekah, the shadow folk."

"Link."

Navi finally got a good look at Shiek.

He had purple garments, topped off with white. His hair was a dirty yellow, and his eyes...they were piercing, red pupils that seemed to stare through you.

Shiek's gaze quickly shifted and burned into Navi's.

Navi muttered something, blushing.

"I only tell you this, Hero. You are to go to the graveyard-"

"Which graveyard?"

"We only have one, du-I mean, only one, Link. Pull a grave, get the treasure, and go to Kokiri Forest. There..there you may start your first quest to free the sage. Goodbye."

Link shielded his eyes as Shiek slapped a Deku Nut to the floor, and disappeared.

"That was professional, compared to Impa." Navi noted.

"No...he's running away.."

Navi looked at the figure slipping on the marble floors. "Oh."

Shiek turned back and saw them.

"Stupid marble floors...they gave me away.."

He tripped over the carpet and tumbled out of the temple.

Navi sniggered.

"Ok, let's get going..."


	41. Francis

**Lol, Crazy Guy...you certainly don't seem to like Navi...=P**

**Thank you, sensei, I am your loyal...erm....grasshopper. I'll do my best, lol. =D**

**Hm....stupid sages and stupid Ganondorf... I like!! The Real Legend? Nope, never heard of it...sounds interesting, though. =P**

**I almost forgot about the disclaimer!!! (gasps)**

**(fires hookshot and pokes dozens of holes in it)**

* * *

The market was a horror. 

Navi moaned. "What happened...."

All the houses were torn down, and the once beautiful jewel encrusted fountain that poured out sparkling water was now black and littered with shiny black bugs.

But worst of all, there were ReDeads scattered all over the place.

"Who are you?"

Navi heard the voice first and looked up in surprise. The voice sounded very familiar.

"Alan...?"

The man who spoke looked at Navi, scratching his head. "How do you know my father's name? Well....you ought to get out of here...ReDeads are dangerous. Come, I have-"

A melody slowly echoed through the market. Navi looked at Link in surprise, who was playing the ocarina.

"The Sun's Song, "he said simply. "I just remembered. And Navi, there's something on top of your head."

Navi stuck out her long tongue and sucked it up.

"Hey, it tastes like pie. When did I get pie on my head?"

"What flavour?"

"Blueberry."

"Mmmm."

The man was gaping at the pair. "You...you freed the souls of the market."

"Erm...isn't that what the Sun's Song does?"

"I know that you aren't spies of Ganondorf now...please, follow me."

Moving quickly, the man opened the door, motioned for them to follow, and ran inside.

Navi shrugged. "Nothin' better to do. Might as well follow."

Link nodded and ran after him.

A few minutes later, they were in the house, sitting down as the man spoke and as the fireplace crackled with fresh light.

"I know now that you are...you used to be friends with my father."

"You wouldn't happen to be..." Navi slowly started to put it together. Was this the boy that they helped several years ago, before they entered the Temple of Time?

"Yes," he said happily. "I'm Francis. You are...Navi, and Link, right?"

"Um....it's the other way around."

"Oh, I apologize. My memory is very vague. I have something to give you."

"What?"

"A map." Francis said proudly.

"Erm....we've got one..."

Francis looked disappointed. "From whom?"

"A really irritating owl."

Link glanced at Navi, confused.

"Kaepora didn't give us the map!"

"Really...?"

**_-Flashback-_**

_"Wait, I didn't catch all that. Can you say it again?"_

_Now Kaepora looked completely angry, irritated, AND strained._

_"Forget it," Kaepora snapped. "Just go and talk to the princess, okay?"_

_The owl flew off. Navi resisted the urge to fly off with Kaepora and instead yelled at Link._

**_-End-_**

"Oh, now I remember."

Link nodded in agreement. "She was really annoying. Is she still around?"

"I hope not..."

"Ahem," Francis said impatiently. "Since you didn't get a map, here."

Francis handed them a piece of parchment that had purple, curly writing.

"This is very detailed," he explained. "It can be very useful for you. You see, Ganondorf's fury caused the citizens to flee, just before the market was struck with a blow."

He sighed.

"I made it out in time, but my father....he...he had to help everyone, as a guard, and didn't...didn't make it."

"I'm sorry." Navi said quietly.

Francis waved away Navi's apology.

"It wasn't your fault anyways....my father and I spent years making this map, because we were going to go on a camping trip around Hyrule. You need this more than I do. Take it."

"I'm sorry, "Navi began. "But we can't...it's the only memo-"

"Thanks," Link said sweetly, pocketing the map.

"What are you doing??" Navi hissed.

"Navi, look at this!!!"

Navi glared and started to read the small, cramped writing in the graveyard part.

"Oh my Farore...."

A red circle was drawn around the Royal Family's tomb, and in curly writing, it said clearly, "_Play Zelda's Lullaby and the tomb will open, but beware because ReDeads-wait, someone healed them. Never mind."_

"How...how do you know???" Navi asked Francis, scratching her head in confusion.

Francis grinned. "We had to prepare..."

"Well...how come you...why are you holed up in a house, and not in Kakariko or something?"

"Are you kidding me???" Francis laughed in disbelief. "Kakariko is not a safe place. Ganondorf plans to strike and take over it next."

"Why hasn't he done it several years ago??? And how do you know??" Navi demanded.

"Ganondorf just caused everybody in the market to run away. The inside of the houses were actually untouched. Everything on the outside...well, he cast a spell, making it seem like he destroyed it all, so nobody could take refuge. Pretty useless, anyways, with the ReDeads flitting around."

Navi couldn't believe him.

"You lived in a house for several years when you knew that outside ReDeads crowded the empty market." Navi repeated in a monotone voice.

"Yes."

"How did you survive??? How did you get back into the market without...without..."

"Getting killed? I was small, for a kid, and I knew a secret way into my house. I was pretty strong, and I dug a small tunnel outside with the help of my dad in case of an emergency. When my dad didn't come out, I snuck in to find him....but...yeah....I stayed in the house for a long time, because I was afraid of Ganondorf. As for my food supply, I get it from Lon Lon and Kakariko-"

"Don't they charge you rupees?" Navi interrupted.

"Nah, nice people, they are."

Navi tried to absorb all the information as she studied the map some more.

"Look, Link! There's even Kokiri Forest on the map!!!"

Link grabbed the map from Navi and stared.

"Hey, they have Mido's house on here!! WOW! Mido had a basement!?!!?!?!?"

"What??? Pass me that!! Hey, is that...by Din, that's...that's...your house, Link!!! They have every detail on it! Your couch is tablets...the T.V.......this is...this is incredible!!! Your...what you do each day is here!!!!"

Link was now looking distrustfully at Francis.

"Is he a stalker or a spy?"

Francis was grinning.

"I had some help," he answered simply. "Now, you better get out of here. And don't get out through th-"

_Crash._

Link had tripped over some wire tied to a small stick buried in the ground right in front of the door. After that, some cans fell down, bopped him on the head, and a bucket of paint mixed with water splashed all over him.

"-the door," Francis finished, laughing. "There's a set of booby traps. When you came in, I disabled the alarm. A little protection from ReDeads and Ganondorf won't do any harm."

"Yeah," Link sputtered, wiping his eyes. "'Fer sure."

"Here...let me help you."

Francis grunted, and heaved Link up.

"My, my, aren't you a slippery mess. You look like a real monster with all that paint on."

**Thirty Minutes and a Towel Later...**

"By the way...." Navi started slowly. "Why did you come out of your house?"

"It's a real lucky thing I found you...I was looking out of the window and a saw a splatter of green followed by blue coming out of the black and brown."

"Oh."

"If you need some advice, feel free to see me again. Goodbye!!"

Francis hurried off.

"Ok, Link...I have an idea. Let's visit Lon Lon! At least we'll see a familiar face."

"If you mean Malon, no way."

" 'Fraid of a _girl_?" Navi teased. "A seventeen year old?"

"Let's go."

Navi grinned.


	42. Lon Lon Ranch

**I'm still quite surprised I have 42 chapters.**

**Meep.**

**Anyways, I think I'll try and update everyday, or at least every other day, because school's coming up.**

**(flattens disclaimer with shield)**

* * *

**Lon Lon Ranch**

Navi looked around, expecting to see Malon in the middle of the ranch singing to Epona.

Instead, she saw an evil-looking man slapping a horse impatiently.

"_Go_, you wretch! Lord Ganondorf won't be pleased with such a slow horse! Where is that girl?!!? Malon!!!"

Navi flinched as his scream rang through the ranch.

A red-haired teenager suddenly opened the door and came through, looking exhausted and irritated, holding two buckets of milk.

"What is it, Ingo?"

"Your stupid horse won't listen to me! I want you to tame it so that it'll listen to me!!!"

"She's not an _it_! And Epona won't listen to you no matter what!!!" the girl cried out defiantly.

"Oh, she will! By the evening! Now! Go! You won't have your supper unless you tame her!"

"Yeah, and I cook it." the girl grumbled. "I say, I'll poison your food one day. I still keep in touch with my fishy friend, Ruto. She'll let me borrow her nasty perfume any day."

The man named Ingo turned a bright red.

"Well...I...I...just go away!"

"Fine with me."

The girl started to walk away when she saw Link and Navi.

"Oh...hi. I suppose you need to speak to Ingo. He's right there. My name is Malon, by the way."

"Who is it??" Ingo screamed, peering at the two. He stomped up and thrust out a hand, meaning to shake Link's.

Link didn't know what to do, so he spit in it.

"Why you little-Malon, greet our rude little guest as I clean up."

Ingo marched away, looking huffy.

Malon was laughing. "Thanks. I needed some relief."

"I'm Link, and this is Navi."

"Malon..." Navi said slowly, "we met you several years ago, remember? We helped wake up your father, and you taught us Epona's Song."

Malon frowned. "Hm...Link and Navi, is it? I think I remember...yeah, green clothes, ugly face, and greasy hair? Yeah, now I remember!"

Link looked hurt. "Yeah."

"What happened to Talon?" Navi asked, looking around, expecting to see the plump man wearing blue overalls.

"Dad? He got kicked out when Ganondorf took over, and Ingo got control of the ranch." Malon answered casually.

"Aren't...aren't you saddened by this??"

"I got over it. Besides, I visit him once a week in Kakariko."

"Well, Link and I...Link??? Link, where are you??"

Navi looked around urgently and found the Kokiri lifting up pots and looking under them.

"What are you doing, Link???"

"I found a blue rupee under one of the jars, see?"

He held out his palm and showed Navi the glittering rupee.

"Oh."

As Link picked up the various pots, Malon looked worried.

"I can't believe he actually found the hiding spots. Ingo spent months planning where to put them."

"Under pots." Navi echoed. "He put them under pots."

"Yeah. He hid some in the hay-"

Link scooted out and rushed into one of the doors of the barn and came out a second later holding several green rupees.

Ingo came out of a door near Malon and grinned.

"Say, you young hoodlum, would you like to go for race? Pick a horse, any horse, and the prize will be ten rupees."

Link's ears perked up at the sound of, "rupees".

"Also, the race will cost eighty rupees."

"Ingo, that isn't fair-" Malon started to complain.

"Hush, you little brat. So, what'll it be?"

"Eighty rupees? No way."

"Seventy?"

"No."

"Sixty?"

"Nah."

"Forty?"

"No."

"Fifty?"

"Sure."

Navi looked in disdain at her partner.

A few minutes later, Link was sitting on a white horse in an awkward position.

"I wouldn't take that horse, you know." Ingo commented dully. "Slowest horse in the ranch."

"Oh. Okay, then."

Link slipped off the horse just as Malon shouted, "No, she's fastest compared to Epona!"

"Quiet!" Ingo hissed as he scurried on top of the horse.

"Get Epona!" Malon screamed.

"Which one is Epona??"

"The one that's snorting like mad, rearing back, and looking ready to charge anybody who tries to get on her!"

It didn't take long for Link to spot the brown horse.

"Are you sure that it's safe??"

"Yes!!!"

Link carefully approached Epona with growing fear.

Epona spotted Link and froze.

Link froze as well.

"Link, play Epona's Song!" Navi shouted.

Link's hand carefully moved to his pouch and his fingers curled over the ocarina.

Navi was ready to blow.

"DON'T PLAY SARIA'S SONG!!! YOU DIMWIT!! WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS PLAYING IT?!?!?!?"

Malon looked impressed. "I never knew she had it in her."

"I never grew out of it?" Link guessed, quickly playing Epona's Song.

Epona suddenly snorted and her tail whirled through the air with a pleased look on her face.

"Get on her, now!" Malon yelled.

Link, in his hurry, nearly tripped over Epona as he scurried on top.

Epona's legs buckled as she snorted in pain.

"You really are heavy, you know." Malon said. "Take off some of your load."

Things went flying through the air as Link carelessly threw them out.

Master Sword, Deku Shield, Kokiri Sword, bomb bag, ammo, socks, I LURV SARIA'S SONG t-shirt, and a slingshot whizzed through the air and landed on the ground with a thud.

Epona looked a little bit more relieved, but still seemed to be under a lot of pressure.

"Something is still on you that's really heavy," Malon reasoned.

"Oh...um...." Link turned red and tried to cover his bulging pouch.

Navi glared at his feeble attempt. "It's your rupees, isn't it?"

Link smiled weakly. "Of course not."

Navi flew over to Link and knocked the bag out of his hand with such great force all the rupees spilled out.

"Oops."

Ingo, who had been watching impatiently, pointed to the pile of rupees and gasped.

Link tried to scoop all of the glittering red, blue, green and gold rupees but Ingo hopped off his horse and attempted to claw them away from Link.

A green rupee fell into Ingo's hand.

Link pointed to him with a fiery look in his eyes.

"Nobody steals one of my babies and gets away with it!!!"

_Bwang._

All Navi saw was an explosion of gas and Ingo flying through the air and landing in a heap beside his horse.

Link hurried over, collected the worthless rupee, placed it in his rupee pouch and mounted Epona.

"Let's get this race started."

Ingo, however, didn't look in good condition to race.

He groaned and pulled out a pouch containing ten rupees.

"Here..." he moaned. "Take the prize and that horse and leave.."

"Thanks," Link said, picking up the bag. "Oh yeah, and sorry about your...injury. Okay, c'mon Navi, we still gotta go to the graveyard."

As they rode out of the ranch, Navi was still gaping at Link.

"You know, Link, you never cease to amaze me."

"And neither do you."


	43. Passports? wHaT?

**Yes, we certainly will find out what happens to Ingo...dum dum dum...**

**Lol...Light Arrows will do the job, hopefully.**

**Hahahaha, of course you'll be mentioned! =P She suffocated a grasshopper in a bottle? Poor grasshopper. ****Cuccos? Heh, heh. Mentioned in this chappie, actually.**

**Oh, thanx, I'll try to edit when I can.**

**(play Epona's Song and watches as disclaimer cracks)**

* * *

"Well, at least Kakariko hasn't changed much in several years." 

Navi sighed happily, actually able to recognize the houses.

"Hey, you, what are you doing here???"

A guard hurried up to them and held his spear threateningly.

"Show me your passport card of Kakariko!"

Link and Navi were shocked.

"We don't have one," Navi stammered.

The guard's expression hardened.

"Then you'll have to see the chief. No one gets access to Kakariko unless you have a passport."

He shouted out, "Guards!" and dozens of silver-clad men came rushing in, armed to the teeth with swords and spears.

"This wasn't what Kakariko was like seven years ago!" Navi said, stunned.

"Well, a lot changed in seven years."

Three or four guards blindfolded Link, hesitated when they saw Navi, and decided to ignore her.

"Hey, lemme go! What are you doing??" Link shouted.

The guards shoved Link into a small house, labeled, "Kakariko Jail Cells".

Navi gulped as she tried to follow as inconspiciously as possible.

Link was forced onto a chair and checked roughly for weapons.

"He has such a nice sword," one of the guards commented.

"I thought I saw that in a book somewhere. I think it was a book about legends."

The guards all of a sudden started whispering to each other in fright, gasping.

"That's the Master Sword! Only a person with a pure heart can hold that!"

Link's blindfold was quickly taken off, with guards having begging looks on their faces.

"We apologize," they said, bowing. "We had no idea that you were the hero destined to dispel the evil."

"Why did you blindfold him and threaten him??" Navi glared, not forgiving the guards.

"It's our orders. Ganondorf's spies are everywhere, and if he gets any information...then that's it for the town. We apologize again for injuring your friend."

Navi looked at Link, who was unhurt, and shrugged.

"Well, what's the deal with this...passport thing?"

"Passports are a sign of...citizenship. Anyone without a passport is questioned. If they don't answer correctly, they are thrown into jail until the chief decides what to do with them. Usually they are let go. Please, do meet our chief. He will give you a passport without question. Just show him the sacred sword."

Navi nodded. "Well, erm, tha-"

"Really, it isn't a problem."

"Yeah, but than-"

"It was a pleasure speaking to you. Exit through the door here and turn right immediately. A guard will meet you there. Show him the sword and request to speak to the chief. Goodbye."

Link and Navi were shoved out of the room with a wave.

"Not very nice, are they?" Link grumbled, brushing his tunic.

"We heard that!" a guard poked his face out of the window and threw a tomato at Link, which smushed on his head.

"Hey!" Link shouted, turning back.

"C'mon, let's just go, Link." Navi said, holding back a grin.

Link wiped off the sauce grimly and watched as it splattered over the grass.

"Do you understand how long it'll take for this-" Link motioned to the dried tomato sauce on his head, "-to wash out?"

"Yes," Navi replied, sniggering. "Right here, Link. This is supposed to be it..."

"Halt!"

A guard raced up to them and automatically asked, "where is your passport?"

Link showed the guard the Master Sword and watched as the guard dropped his spear.

"By Din...please, come in..the chief will speak to you shortly."

The guard led them inside and motioned for them to sit down. He exited with a respectful bow.

"This baby rocks," Link said enthusiastically, stroking the sword.

_Stomp. Stomp. Stomp._

Link started to cower. "A giant's coming!!"

"Who are you??" a voice asked roughly.

Link peeked through his hands and saw a tiny little boy pointing to him and demanding his name.

Then he sighed in relief.

"Phew, it's only a little boy. Hi, can we speak to the um...chief?"

"I _am _the chief! And you better tell me your name right now or I'll take out my dagger!"

Link and Navi started to burst out in a fit of giggles.

"The boy thinks he's the chief!!" Navi gasped, trying to catch her breath.

"And he's threatening us with a teeny tiny dagger!!!" Link joked, rolling over the floor in his amusement.

The "chief" took out a razor-sharp dagger and pointed it at Link.

"That's right. I'm threatening you with a not so teeny tiny dagger."

Link stopped laughing and pointed to his sword.

The chief's gaze fell on the Master Sword. He slowly withdrew the dagger, but his unimpressed face remained.

Link expected the chief to say, "Sorry," or, "By the three goddesses," but the chief merely frowned.

"A pipsqueak is the beam of light in the legends? Bah."

Link didn't feel so insulted because the chief looked a lot bigger now.

He picked up the note that the guard had placed on the table and his brow furrowed after he finished reading it.

"My boys told me that you need a passport. Oh, and I'm Borovan."

"I'm the _Hero of Time_, and this is my fairy." Link said proudly.

"More like the Hero of Tomatoes. You got some red stuff that looks like it on your hair." Borovan said distastefully, not even trying to keep his voice down.

"Calm down, Link." Navi whispered as Link's face turned tomato red as to match his hair.

"Now...a passport, eh? I'll have to give you a rather difficult set of questio-"

"I don't need to answer the questions!" Link said hotly.

"Then you can walk right out. Here's the sheet and here's the pencil. I'll give you five minutes. But since you're the _Hero of Time_, then I'll give you-" he gasped in sarcastic amazement, "-ten minutes."

He walked out of the house without even saying goodbye.

Link snatched the piece of paper and meant to curl it up into a ball and imitate the guard's actions.

"_No_, Link. C'mon, let's finish this up and get out of here."

The set of questions were pretty...easy. It looked like this:

1. Who is your REAL hero?

a. Definitely not the chief.  
b. My dog.  
c. The glorious chief.

2. Who is the most kindest man on Hyrule?

a. Definitely not the chief.  
b. Me, of course.  
c. The glorious chief.

3. Who makes delicious strawberry pies?

a. Definitely not the chief.  
b. Of course I!  
c. The glorious chief.

The questions kept going until number twenty. They were all pretty much the same.

"What a braggart," Navi grumbled.

Link started checking off all the a's like rapid fire.

"You dummy, don't! We need this passport. Just check off all the c's."

Link reluctantly crossed it all out and put checkmarks all over the c's.

Ten minutes later, Borovan marched in, grabbed Link's paper out of his hand, and read it, his tiny little eyes bulging.

"I see someone taught you your manners," he muttered.

"What was that?" Link said sweetly.

"I see someone taught you your manners!" he said loudly. "As much as I don't want to, I'm afraid you qualify for a passport."

He ripped up the sheet in half and wrote something on it.

"Name?"

"I prefer to be called the _Hero of_-"

"Age?"

"Seven-"

"Address?"

"The Un-Mido Lane of Peace, Kokiri Forest."

"Any organizations you belong to?"

"The AAMA. All Against Mido Association."

"All right."

He seemed to be drawing something and looking back and forth at Link and the paper. Finally, he threw it at him.

"Here. Enjoy."

In a box, was supposedly Link, was a stick figure with a green hat and a smiley face. On the right side of the paper, there was the info which read:

Name: Hero of Tomatoes.  
Age: Seven.  
Address: The Unicef Lane of Peace, Cokeri Forest.  
Organization: AAMA

Link quivered with rage. "I am NOT seven! I'm the Hero of Time, and it's the Un-Mido Lane of Peace, and it's spelled K-O-K-I-R-I Forest!!!!"

"Deal with it." Borovan got up and pushed them out of the door.

Link crumpled the slip of paper into a ball and squished it into his pouch.

"You know, sometimes people really annoy me."

Navi looked at the Cucco fluttering above his head.

"Um, Link, you know, there's a-"

"Don't interrupt my rage, Navi." Link grumbled, not even noticing the Cucco's feather fall onto his head.

"Link there is a CUCCO on top of your head!!"

Link immediately started to scream and gain attention from all the other villagers. The Cucco clucked madly and spotted the tomato sauce.

"Hey, that tickles! He's pecking my head, Navi!" Link started laughing uncontrollably.

A whole herd of the Cucco's friends came flying up and pushed each other, trying to get at the sauce.

Link didn't seem to mind now.

So, for the next few minutes, Link strolled through the village, waving at awestruck people, with Cuccos eating the sauce.

"Navi, it's starting to itch now," Link complained.

"_Deal with it_." Navi joked, imitating Borovan's words.

Link finally started to get irritated. "Okay, that's it."

"Shoo! Go away!" Link slapped at the Cuccos.

"Link, you don't want to do that..."

_BWAKKKK._

The Cucco's expressions turned hard.

"OOOOOWWWWWWW!!!!"

Link dropped on the floor and started rolling in agony.

The Cucco's started to peck Link's back.

**A Few Minutes Away From Where They Are Right Now...**

A boy peeked through the window and saw the Cucco's flying about, all aiming for one target, which was buried under white feathers.

"Mom, it's happening to another one again."

"That's all right dear, he's just getting what he deserves...always remember the old Kakariko proverb, "Don't bother the Cuccos, and they won't bother you."

"Yes, Mom."

**Back to Link and Navi**

After a while, the Cuccos left Link and Navi alone.

"Link?" Navi squeaked. "Are you all right?"

Link struggled to get up, but collapsed again in exhaustion.

"Maybe it's better if you just stay here and rest a little." Navi suggested, her voice faltering.

"Navi, I'm on the stairs." Link said in a muffled voice.

"Oh yeah...um...just..wait for a while."

"Right...."

After a few minutes, Link managed to get up.

Clumsily he held the wall for support.

"Ugh. Stupi-"

"Shhh..." Navi hissed. "They might hear."

Link saw the Cucco right beside him, frozen in a listening position.

"Ummm....stupid....chickens?"

All Navi saw then was a blur of white and-

"_AIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE_!!!"

Navi shook her head pitifully.

"You never learn, Link, you never learn."


	44. Sebat, the Crazed Man

**I'd like to thank Chris-Halliwell for creaitng a story in my name. It's called, " The Legend of Zelda: Author's Revenge. Also, I'd like you to know that I enjoy it very much.**

**Dampe hasn't been mentioned yet. (grins)**

**Dampe: Stupid author...**

**Chibi Link? O.O**

**=P Laughter heals all...not like I need healing...but Link sure does after his encounter with the Cuccos...**

**Thank you, Cat of Darkness! =D (mutters) Well, at least there's someone nice in the world today...along with all my other reviewers...**

* * *

"Are you okay, Link?" 

Navi had been nagging him to go to the nurse's office and check out his Cucco scratches.

Link brushed his tunic again, grumbling, "I'm fine, I'm fine."

"Well, we've been delayed so many times, and since you've perfectly _fine_, Link, we should be heading towards the gravey-"

"EEEEEEE!!! MOMMMYYYY!!!!!"

A little girl with blonde pigtails nearly flew down the stairs, crying, ran into the one of the houses, slammed the door, and her wailing could still be heard from outside.

Navi stared at the door she came out of, which was labeled, "_Private-do not go in if you do not wear green clothes and have a fairy. I have something for you._

**What Happened Before to the Little Girl**

_The girl snuck silently past the guards, slipped up the stairs, and wondered to herself, "How did I get into this? Oh, right, I'm on a dare."_

_She opened the door with trembling fingers and peeked inside._

_It was a mess. Papers scattered all over the floor, a table stuck right plop in the left. On a chair beside the table was a man, looking half-crazed, shuffling papers madly._

_He had heard her slip in._

_"Come here." he said softly._

_The girl crept forward, knowing she was in big trouble._

_The man turned around to face her. When he saw her, his face contorted in anger._

_"You aren't the boy! You are a girl!!! CAN'T YOU READ THE SIGN ON THE DOOR???"_

_His fingers curled into fists._

_"GET OUT OF HERE!"_

_The girl squealed and ran out of the place, screaming for her mother._

**Back to Link and Navi**

All of a sudden, the door opened, and a foul-tempered man stepped out. He howled angrily.

"Is he delirious?" Navi whispered urgently.

"I don't know." Link whispered back.

The man hurried down the stairs when he spotted Link.

"Green clothes...a fairy....you are the boy I met several years ago! You will pay!!!!!!"

He brought a huge block of stone down on Link, which came from his pocket.

Link squeaked and scurried out just as the stone slammed on the ground, creating an indent.

"Row, row, down the Kakariko stream, gently, swiftly, you're only a rock away from death!" the man sang, looking crazy as he struggled to slam the stone on Link's head.

"Navi!!! I think this guy is crazy!!" Link panted as he backed away.

"If a guy started trying to kill you, he's most probrably a psycho!" Navi screamed. "Dodge! He's swinging from the side!"

Link ducked as the rock went soaring sideways over his head.

"Stop!" Link cried.

Link backed into the stone cold wall, which didn't feel the least bit comforting.

"You are trapped," the man said, grinning wickedly, "trapped!"

"HALT!"

A guard came running up and glared at the man, who's hands were raised above Link's head, holding the stone.

"Drop that stone at once-at the side!" he ordered.

The man hissed. "No!"

He brought up his hands again, holding the enormous rock.

"Oh no you don't!"

The guard clung to his arms and pulled him back. Losing his balance, the man tripped and fell over on his back.

"Sebat, stop trying to murder anybody wearing green clothes..." he peered at Link and Navi. "St. Patrick's Day was a horror. People running around in leprechaun costumes and Sebat trying to figure out who to kill first. Sebat's the man who was trying to kill you."

"Why green-clothed people?" Link squeaked. "That's racist!"

"Ah, yes. You see, several years ago, some weird kid with blonde hair, a blue fairy, and green clothes stepped into this village and well...Sebat was the one who ran the windmill back then. Odd fellow, he was. But certainly not as strange right now. The kid messed up the windmill with a song, he claimed. Hasn't been the same since, trying to hunt down the kid and being paranoid. Stays in his windmill all day, and only comes out in the day and evening for food and water. I have no idea where he gets his rupees."

"Why don't you kick him out if he's so much trouble???"

The guard sighed. "I'd like to, but it's dark times. He won't survive by himself, not even in his right mind. It would be just plain evil to throw him out."

Navi understood. "What was the song?"

"It was an eerie song that chilled your bones." Sebat said in a hollow voice, from the ground.

The three were surprised to hear him speak.

He continued like they weren't even there.

"The song that wrecked the windmill, the song of tears and rain."

Sebat's eyes looked empty, like he was living a memory. He seemed completely unaware of his surroundings.

"What's happening to him??" Navi whispered to the guard.

"This is odd....Sebat's never been like this."

Suddenly, he started to whistle.

"The song..." he said, his eyes glazed. "The Song of Storms...learn it well, Link, and do not forget it...I bring you light from the sages power...and take the medallion....for it is I, Link, I, Rauru...."

Sebat's eyes closed.

"By the three goddesses, what happened, Link??? Rauru...Rauru used his body for a while to give us a message! And...look! A yellow medallion is on the floor!"

Link scooped it up and put it to his left ear.

"Hm....this is a rupee collector's lucky day...this is worth more than fifty thousand rupees, Navi! We gotta find a store to sell it in, quick!"

The fact still remained that the guard was listening.

"Who's Rauru? And what just happened here?"

"Nothing," Link assured him. "I just got this neat medallion from a crazy guy."

"Link, don't sell it, and I think we should get going to the graveyard now!"

"WAIT!" the guard boomed. "Secrecy is not appreciated here. Let me see your passport."

Link looked relieved. "Here it is," he said, taking it out of his pouch.

The guard stroked his chin, and then laughed.

"Hero of Tomatoes? Crazy dang kids this days. You're seven??? Wow. Ok, get going."

He handed Link the passport and watched as the pair started hurrying to the graveyard.

"Crazy dang kids."


	45. The Brand New Hookshot

**It's a nice, warm, sunny day and I'm inside with my eyes glued to the computer. =)**

**Ahahaha, it's okay, dragonslayer, I accept all types of reviews....(takes knife out) nah, I'm just kiddin'=P The Windwaker? Oh, please don't mention it...I don't have it yet.....(sighs heavily) But I guarantee you, I WILL get it! (eyes empty piggy bank) Oh yes I will!**

**(oogles) FRYING PAN!!!!! OMG!!!! THAT IS A WORK OF GENIUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WILL UPDATE THAT IMMEDIATELY!!!**

**Ahem....(coughs) The Fairly Odd Parents? =P I like that show...Crocker...oh, you mean the fairy-catching-giving Timmy F's all the time on his report card, projects, maniac??? =D Oh yes, I do plan to keep this story going...maybe even continue it with Majora's Mask...(cackles evilly)**

**Hmm...maybe Link should take a bath....**

**I must be getting old....I actually forgot the disclaimer! (slaps self)**

**I will do something extra special for it. **

**(takes hot cup of water and pours all over the disclaimer and chops it up with knife)**

* * *

The graveyard looked pretty much the same. A couple of graves were added, and two guards stood at attention at the front gate. 

"This place is overflowing with them," Link said in disgust.

"Passport?" they both grunted in unison.

Link showed them the crumpled up paper and watched as the guards both looked like they were holding in a laugh.

"Hero of Tomatoes! Hahaha! Bill, have you heard o' that before?!?!?"

"I heard some real crazy names, Bod, but this breaks da record!"

Link swiped the passport away before they could read the age and stomped through.

"I will kill that chief with my own hands," Link muttered.

Navi laughed. "C'mon, Link, get out the map. We'll see what we need to get."

A moment later, they were checking the graveyard on the map.

Scrawled in messy, hurried writing was, "Dampe the Gravekeeper's Grave. Haunts 24/7. Nothing better to do. Challenged him to race and failed. Good prize, supposedly."

"Well, maybe the prize is what we need to save the first sage," Navi said logically. "But how do we open the grave??"

_Screech._

"Ladies first," Link said politely, motioning to the hole.

Navi laughed and dived down, followed by Link.

"OW!" Link rubbed his back. "I think I broke something."

"Oh, really?" Navi said in a muffled voice.

"Not again...hold on..." Link plucked Navi from under his back.

"Next time, _you _go first," Navi grumbled.

"I don't even want to go here again.." Link shuddered.

The place had stone towers and a weird light shone from the entrance.

"Who dares disturb Dampe, the Great Gravekeeper?"

"Do you think we should play the Sun's Song?" Link whispered.

"Nah, I don't think that's a ReDead."

Upon closer examination, they saw that Dampe was only a ghost.

"Race me and win a prize!" his voice echoed through the hollow chamber.

"Okay." Link started to follow Dampe through the twisting hallways and corriders.

Link was jogging casually as Dampe panted and struggled to keep first place.

"Stupid dang kids, they got more adrenaline than me.." Dampe cursed.

Link yawned. "This is boring, can we speed it up?"

Dampe looked affronted.

"Oh yeah!?!??! FINE!"

He started swinging his lamp left and right, causing red fiery flames to hop out and chase Link.

"Holy Farore! Stop it! CHEAT!!!"

Dampe grinned a ghostly grin. "Once again, I reign!"

He didn't watch where he was going and bumped into the wall and dropped his lamp, which cracked and disappeared in smoke.

Link, meanwhile, was having problems avoiding the tiny fireballs.

"Eep! Ow! Oooh, that hurt!"

Navi suddenly got some inspiration.

"Link, there's a cheeseburger at the end of the race, you know."

"So??"

"Along with some rupees!"

_Pwang_.

Link was gone, racing like the wind.

The fireballs tried to follow him, but gave up and vanished.

Dampe was screaming and moaning.

"Nooooooo....my soul was in that lamp! Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...."

_Pwoof._

Dampe disappeared, sucked into the ground like quicksand.

Navi hurried and caught up with Link rather easily, who was looking around.

"Look, Link, a shiny little treasure chest!"

Link kicked open the chest and fainted.

"Link??? Are you....all right?"

A few minutes later, Link got up dizzily and swayed, side to side.

"Ooh...I don't feel so good....perfume....gallons..."

Navi sniffed the chest and nearly hurled.

"Blech! Gross.....there _is_ danger in every chest...well, you have to pick out that thing in there."

Link held his nose, snatched the treasure, and slammed the top down so the fumes wouldn't escape.

"What is it?"

"Look at that, Navi!"

A blue little message screen appeared below the object.

"Congratulations! You have found the hookshot! It's springy-what? It's break time already? But I'm finishing up some message, dude. You mean Mr. Miyamato is treating the boys to a sub? What?!?!?!?!"

The message ended there.

"That was odd."

"That was indeed."

After pocketing the hookshot, Link stared at the giant cube blocking the way.

"Link...look, that symbol...it looks like...like the Temple of Time's insignia. Play the Song of Time!"

The block started to dissolve in shining blue light, replaced with a red rupee and a set of stairs.

"Nice," Link crowed, pocketing the rupee and racing up the stairs, eager to see where they led.

"YES! I HAVE PERFECTED MY PLANS!"

"Sweet Nayru....isn't that Se-"

"I SEE YOU! AND I WILL KILL YOU WITH A MUCH MORE IMPROVISED METHOD!" Sebat roared.

Link nearly tottered over the ledge.

"GET DOWN HERE!" Sebat screamed, swinging a giant frying pan.

"Look!" Link cried. "There's a guy outside who is green, has blue eyes, blonde hair, and a blue fairy! RIGHT THERE!"

Sebat stopped and ran outside.

"Nice one, Link," Navi complimented as floated down.

Link hopped down and shook his head, frowning. "No, really, I saw him outside of the window."

Navi zipped quickly to the window and peered outside and saw a green guy running for his life, chased by Sebat and his frying pan.

"Oh. Okay, well, we better get back to Kokiri Forest. I wanna check out what happened in several years."

"Sure, but...." Link looked uncomfortable.

"What?"

"I'm...grown up....aren't I? And Kokiri don't grow up."

"It's okay," Navi reassured him. "You'll be fine. The Kokiri will understand. After all, they were your friends."

Link had a sudden image of him getting chased by burning torches and pitchforks.

"Yeah," Link said shakily. "They'll accept me....right, Navi?"

"Listen, Link." Navi said impatiently. "You're still the same, it's just that you don't _look _the same. The Kokiri will understand. Now c'mon Link, we better get going."


	46. Talking with Old Friends and Enemies

**Sorry I didn't update tghe past two days, I will try to post another two chapters to make up for it.**

**Lol, there you are, Inversion! I thought I lost one of my reviewers. Lol.**

**I think we have a resident Crocker in our neighbourhood....who knows? Maybe Sebat's related to him. Lol, the credit for the frying pan should go to Cat of Darkness, actually, though.**

**When you say, muahahaha, I get reminded of food. And when I get reminded of food...(eyes fridge hungrily) I think you know what I'm talking about.**

**Lol, dragonslayer, you don't have to apologize. I was only kiddin', lol. Oh, I will tell you, all right, I will indeed.**

**(grins) Link won't be very happy with that....maybe I'll add something about that in this chappie.**

**This chapter isn't very funny, so..**

**(punches disclaimer and tosses it in garbage)**

* * *

**Kokiri Forest**

Kokiri Forest didn't look so bright as it did several years ago. In fact, Link had to fend off a whole storm of Deku Babas growing on the bridge to the outside world.

Link, however, looked relieved after he cautiously glanced around.

"Why are you so happy?" Navi demanded. "Look at the forest! It's in terrible condition!"

"No, it's not that," Link assured Navi, "I'm just happy that there aren't any guards."

"Or Kokiri, for that matter," Navi murmured, looking downcast at the dying scenery.

"Oh, look! There's the pond where I used to skip stones!"

Link raced over to the tiny pool of water.

"I also used to take a quick dip in it, too."

He dived in and a second later came out, wet and choking.

"The water's so murky and disgusting!"

Navi didn't look so cheery. "And do you realize that we're being watched by the Kokiri holed up inside their homes?"

Link froze. "What?"

"Yes, I just said that the Kokiri are spying on us because they believe we're foreign travelers or something. We gotta go to Mido's house. He was the boss of the Kokiri, anyways."

Suddenly, Link felt the eyes of children burning into his back as he approached Mido's house.

The door flew open. Mido slowly came out, armed with a Deku Nut.

"Don't move," he ordered. "I am Mido, the great boss of the legendary race, the forest children. The Kokiri!"

It seemed that his last sentence was a signal, because dozens of Kokiri came pouring in, armed with slingshots, bows, and Deku sticks.

Link looked pained. "Sarah! Mike! Luigi! Mario! Pikachu! Barry! Alicia! Cammy! You're all still here!"

Whispers arose from the crowd.

"He knows our name, Mido! How did he know??"

"He still remembers me! Did he spy on us??"

Mido looked like he was under a lot of pressure.

"Silence!"

A frightened silence hovered over the crowd of Kokiri.

"This stranger is not one of us! Yes, Luigi, he did spy on us! Take him to my house!"

Two Kokiri tried to pull Link away, but he wouldn't budge.

"No! Guys, it's me, Link!"

They all gasped.

"The idiot one?!?!? What???"

Then they laughed. "Hah! Link was a Kokiri, like the rest of us. He didn't grow up. Besides, he went on a journey made for a fool. Didn't come back. Good, anyways. He killed the Deku Tree."

"I didn't kill the Deku Tree!" Link cried out indigantly.

"Show proof that you know Saria," Navi whispered.

"I know Saria!"

"Play Saria's Song." Navi said softly.

The cheery song broke through all the sadness and anger, and even a few Kokiri managed a weak smile.

Mido still looked very suspicious.

"I still don't trust this man. All with me, raise your hands."

The Kokiri ignored Mido and started walking away, dismissing the stranger as harmless, leaving Link and Mido alone.

"Remember me, Mido? I'm the guy you used to bully."

Link cracked his knuckles.

Mido scoffed. "Even if you are Link, you can't beat me. A wimp will always be a wimp."

Link sighed. "C'mon, Mido. What's with the forest? Why aren't the Kokiri playing outside?"

Mido's chest puffed up.

"I'm afraid that's confidential," he boomed. "I choose not to discl-"

"How about you tell me right now and I don't start screaming and turn you deaf?" Link said in a deadly voice.

"Okay," Mido squeaked. "Sure."

"Now tell me. Why aren't the-"

"The Kokiri are scared, stranger. Ever since the Deku Tree died, weird monsters starting popping up."

"It's Link," The Kokiri said irritatingly.

"Whatever, stranger. Since the outcast of the Kokiri murdered him....the forest starting...dying....the trees in the Lost Woods...everything. One of the Kokiri has left to sever the root of this evil, but she hasn't come back yet." Mido looked worried all of a sudden.

"Saria," Link whispered. "She's gone, isn't she?"

Mido looked angry.

"She asked not to be mentioned by anyone," Mido snarled. "Not by the Kokiri, and not even by me."

"Because she thought she wouldn't survive." Link said to himself, turning pale. "Because...because she didn't want anybody to worry about her."

Mido growled. "Go away! You don't belong here! You are a stranger, a monster, and and outsider!"

Link didn't answer, grabbed Mido by the scruff of his neck, and hoisted him up to the wall.

Mido nearly choked, but bravely insisted, "Go-away!"

Navi looked frightened.

"Let him go, Link." Navi said gently.

Link took a deep breath and dropped Mido on to the ground.

"Remember. I'm seventeen. I have a sword. I don't like you. And I know where you live."

There was a dangerous glint in his eye that told Mido he wasn't kidding.

Mido swallowed a cry and nodded.

Link backed away slowly, his glare still focused on Mido. When he was close enough to the door, he ran off.

Mido sighed and sat down, looking at his boots. "By the spirit of the Deku Tree, I hope Saria gets back soon."

A few minutes away, Link was still in a grumpy mood.

"You didn't have to hurt him," Navi sighed, exasperated.

"I hardly even scratched him! At least we didn't part as enemies."

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure your threat declared that you were friends."

Link didn't answer and sat down on a tree stump, looking lost.

"I don't know," he mumbled. "Navi, look at our home. We...we're strangers."

"Stop it, Link." Navi said firmly. "We'll prove it later, but we have to save the forest now."

Link looked up at the sky, sighing.

"Navi...we can't change the forest or the way it is...do you think we can even save Hyrule???"

Navi's voice and confidence faltered. Link's words seemed so true.

"I really don't know," Navi fought back, struggling to stop her voice from getting weaker. "At times like this, I'd ask the Deku Tree for advice, or Saria."

Link gasped. He snapped his fingers. "Of course! We can ask Saria! Why didn't I think of it before???"

"What are you talking about, Link?" Navi asked irritably.

"We can play Saria's Song! We can communicate with the song!!!"

Navi cheered. "Yeah! So play!"

The song once again rang through the forest, making the Kokiri look around and notice Link again, thinking, "Why is he still here??"

Navi thought hard. "Saria once told me about something....go to the spirit channel and ask for her when we needed advice...but how?"

Her question was automatically answered when a blue mirror popped out of nowhere, sparkling little stars dancing around it. The mirror showed Navi and Link's face.

"Neat!" Navi stared, entranced, thinking. "I want to speak to Saria."

_Swish._

The mirror started spinning, in a rhythm oddly similiar to Saria's Song. Finally, it came to a stop, and instead of the pair's face, was Saria, looking frantic and sweaty. Behind her, they spotted something white and furry.

"Wolfos!" Link whispered.

"Link??" Saria's voice came out of the mirror, echoing and fant.

Navi's face brightened when she heard Saria.

"Saria!" Navi shouted. "It's us, Link and Navi! Where are you??? How come you aren't in the forest with the rest of the Kokiri???"

"The temple! The Forest Temple! Something evil is haunting it's halls, and I set off to get rid of it!" Saria replied, wiping her forehead and looking back frantically.

"Get back here! We'll discuss what to do then!" Navi yelled back, as if they were several metres away from each other.

"I can't!" Saria's voice started to turn fuzzy and distorted. "Na-you-the way-shut! C-oh-help!"

The mirror suddenly went blank.

"Saria??" Navi shouted, bonking the mirror. "Saria?? Are you there??"

After no reply, Navi looked sweaty and pale with worry. "We have to save her, Link!"

"Where exactly is this...temple?" Link asked.

"I don't know...the connection was cut before she could tell me anything vital..."

"You talked to Saria, didn't you?"

Link glanced sharply at the Kokiri speaking. Mido.

"Get out of here," Link growled.

Mido didn't even look angry at his comment.

"Saria...where is she???"

Link shrugged.

"Please...whoever you are, tell me." Mido begged.

Link struggled to keep his answer firm. "No."

"She's at the forest temple, and we plan to save her," Navi replied simply.

Mido thought deeply. "I will lead you there."

Navi looked suspiciously at him. They were tricked once, and they couldn't afford it again.

Mido seemed to read Navi's mind. "I won't trick you," he promised.

"No doubt he's grown up and matured a little," Link grumbled.

Navi hesitated for a split second. "Fine. Lead us."

Link speedily clambered up on the numerous ledges and waited impatiently for everyone to catch up.

Navi chatted freely with Mido's fairy, Josephine, to catch up with what had been going on the last several years.

"Well, we've lost quite a few unexperienced foolish Kokiri." Josephine sighed heavily.

"How??" Navi asked urgently.

"Well...you know the witches curse? Remember? When the goddesses created Hyrule and the five races, they also made the Great Fairies, too, as you know. But one of the fairies...she strayed from the good path...she....used her magic for evil...her punishment was to lose her beauty, and she could not go far in sunlight...and she was angry...the day when the Deku Tree was created as the guardian, she cursed the Lost Woods...she said, "There shall be another race, and they will be mischievious imps, deformed Kokiri, cast aside into the darkness...Skull Kids. " Anyways, any Kokiri who linger in the woods for more than a week automatically transform into one."

Navi shivered. "How about their fairies?"

"They roam around, sad for the loss of their partners they advised not to go into the woods."

Navi sighed. "That's so sad.."

"Guys! Hurry up!"

Josephine focused on Link, trying to tell his expression.

"So, what happened to you???" Josephine asked curiously.

Navi watched as Link tripped over on a branch on the ground and shook her head.

"Oh, nothing much."


	47. Armies of Ganon

**(struggles to pick up computer and smashes disclaimer with it)**

**Oh, right. Kokiri don't turn into Stalfos.**

* * *

Saria's Song no longer rang through the woods joyfully. It was replaced with a dark, odd song that seemed to squeeze the hope and confidence out of you. 

"Fairies are unaffected by the song," Josephine explained, glancing at Link, who was flinching as the song pierced through his body.

"Who plays it?" Navi asked fretfully, looking at Link with worry.

"Skull Kids."

"Didn't Skull Kids play Saria's Song???"

"When the Evil One took over...they were controlled mercilessly. They were taken from they're home, trained, and thrust back into the Lost Woods, only to play, drain the energy of the victim, and wait...wait for the victim to turn into a Skull Kid. And there you go, you repeat that, and you'll have an army of Skull Kids."

Navi shivered. It was dark times that the Kokiri lived in.

Mido led them through the tunnels, barely looking back to check on Link, and he seemed to memorize every stick, stone, or blade of grass.

Suddenly, he stopped.

"This is a dangerous area." he told them both, like a tour guide. "If you say the three special words....the ones that Ganon created seven years ago...I summon thee......the army of Skull Kids will come."

Link saw a small piece of wood nailed to the wall, which had letters carved in it.

"Espicka coihan iontek?" Link echoed.

Mido's eyes went wide with horror.

"What are you doing??" he hissed. "Quick, run! They-"

"Ganondorf, the Great King of Evil calls us."

A whole mass of Skull Kids started marching towards them, all armed with flutes.

"You idiot!" Mido moaned. "Why did you do that??"

They continued speaking in a monotone voice.

"There is an intruder in the Lost Woods. The master commanded to play the Song of Death to weaken them. And we shall obey."

Together they all raised the flutes to their mouths.

Navi gasped.

"Run!" Mido shouted.

The group starting racing away for their lives, panting and not daring to look at the army behind them.

"Where are we headed?" Link gasped, trying to catch his breath.

"I don't know! ! One of the tunnels will lead to the exit!"

After a few twists and turns, they all collapsed on the ground, weary and exhausted.

Then they heard the song, and a weird whooshing noise.

Link slowly turned around and nearly fainted.

The whole army was right there, like all that running around was useless.

They were still playing the "Song of Death".

Link's knees started to sink down to the ground, panting.

Mido was struggling to keep himself up, but it was like a giant force was pushing him back down.

_Don't resist, _the voice in Link's head said gently, like a lullaby, _it won't hurt._

Suddenly, memories of Link's life flashed before him. The day Mido beat him up, when he first started his collection of junk, getting the Master Sword and Epona, and now...the Lost Woods. Except he was a Skull Kid. A solider of the army.

Navi paled.

"LINK!"

Navi's voice of urgency snapped Link back to the present, saving him from a fate worse than death.

Link got up groggily.

"Oooh....Navi, I don't feel...so good..."

"Your ocarina, Link," Navi said desperately, "play something! Anything!"

Link swayed uncertainly. "Ocarina...of....Time...."

Josephine was currently encouraging Mido, shouting over the army's noise.

"You can do it! Get up! You're the boss of the Kokiri!!!"

But her comments didn't have any affect whatsoever. Mido, inch by inch, was sinking down, giving into the darkness.

Link's hand felt for his pouch blindly.

"Ocarina..." he mumured, looking half-asleep.

Weakly, he pulled it out, stuck it to his mouth, and played Zelda's Lullaby.

The song rang through the forest, purifying the Skull Kids, stopping the horrendous sound.

Link dropped his ocarina and fell to the ground, snoring.

Navi smiled weakly and looked at Mido.

Josephine was sobbing over her lost partner, who wasn't responding to her cries.

"Josephine?" Navi said softly. "Are you all right?"

"No!" Josephine yelled, in a rage. "It's all your fault! Mido wouldn't of....of...he wouldn't...he wouldn't... of died if it hadn't been for you!!!!"

Mido suddenly coughed, rubbing his eyes.

"Oogg...." he said dizzily. "Phi? Phi, you there?"

"I'm here, Mido." Josephine cried out tearfullly. "Don't do that again."

Mido managed a small grin. "I'll try not to."

Then he glared at Link's sleeping body. "It's all the...the...idiot's fault,"

He pointed at Link with authority oozing out.

"You are to leave this forest and never come back," he spat. "You put our lives on the line, and the punishment is a ban...a ban. A law. A rule! I forbid you to come back to this forest ever!"

Link simply ignored Mido and walked forward.

"Hey, what's this?"

Mido growled. "Get out of here!" he snarled.

"Hey, this looks...familiar..."

Link disappeared from view as he jogged into the tunnel.

Mido cursed and followed swiftly, clenched his fists tightly, and jogged through.

They were in the Sacred Forest Meadow.


	48. Minuet of Forest

**:D Actually, there will be some action in this chapter...don't you remember the Moblins? =P**

**Yeah, lately I'm aware of the lack of humor...fake smile I'll try to fix it up in this chapter.**

**Lol, Chocolate Starfish, your name never ceases to make me hungry.**

**I intend to, don't worry! Besides, I'm determined to finish this up and continue it with Majora's Mask.**

**AWWWW...you spent three days reading my fanfiction? :) **

**We all hate Mido...don't we??!?!?!??!?! Join the AAMA if you truly despise him.**

**(buries disclaimer in sand)**

* * *

Like the Lost Woods, the Sacred Forest Meadow didn't seem so "Sacred" anymore.

Mainly because of the Moblins patrolling each corridor in the maze.

Also, a thick solid wall of gate had sprung up, and ivy had grown all around the hedges.

Link looked sick.

Navi flew over to the gate.

"Wow, it's I bet you could break through this, Link!"

Link took out his Master Sword and tried to slice through the metal. The Master Sword rebounded and fell on the floor, vibrating.

Mido placed his finger on the metal.

"Not even a scratch," he whispered in awe.

"No wonder Saria couldn't get through," Navi said to herself.

"Stand back everyone!" Link shouted.

Link lit the fuse on the bomb, tossed it right in front of the gate, and dived away.

Mido's eyes widened as he jumped away just as the bomb exploded. Navi and Josephine were safe, having flown up to the sky.

Link coughed as he squinted through the smoke.

"It didn't do anything!" Link whined.

Navi scatched her chin thoughtfully.

"The bomb and the sword doesn't work...so it must be a spell!"

"That's right, puny little fairy."

Link and Mido whipped around, looking warily for some sort of creature.

"Oh, you can't see me...but I can see you.."

Link noticed a slight breeze of wind right beside him. How could it be? It was so hot.

Mido suddenly wheezed, clutching his stomach, like someone punched him.

A slight chuckle rang through the air.

"I am Ganon's most loyal servant."

Link slowly backed into the gate.

"That won't help you. I have been sent to eliminate Link, the so called Hero of Time. He will interfere with my master's plan...so..."

A bloody cut suddenly appeared on Link's hand.

Link started to cry.

"No fair! I can't see you!"

The invisible figure laughed viciously. "So what?"

Another cut appeared on Link's other hand.

Link started wailing louder.

"Who are you?" Navi demanded, looking urgently at Link.

"I am..." suddenly, an odd-looking green mini-dinosaur popped out of nowhere. "McHarney!"

He waited impatiently for Link and Navi's reaction, but it didn't come.

"Who?"

"Oh, you silly fools, I am the mighty...brother of...Barney...."

Link doubled over in laughter, and Mido hit the ground with a fist in laughter, rolling around.

Navi was having trouble catching her breath.

"Ahahahahahahahaha!!" Mido wiped his forehead. "Barney! The "I love you, you love me, we're a happy family" guy??? Only wimps watch that!!"

Link looked embarrased all of a sudden.

"But I thought you wanted to go rent his video..." Josephine said, frowning.

"Shush!"

McHarney looked angrily at the laughing group.

"I am powerful! I will assasinate my shameful brother when I find...the time."

Link walked over to McHarney and slapped his shoulder.

"Dude, you need to reorganize your priorities. Take a little time off. Go to Hawaii, just relax, man. You're too stressed."

A weird expression tugged at McHarney's features.

"Yeah, I know....I've been begging my boss to let me go on a vacation, but..."

"Then fight back!" Link cried out enthusiastically. "Tell him what a nasty, selfish pig he is to do that to you, his hard-working servant!"

"You're right!" McHarney said, shaking his fist. "It's time a stood up to that little spoiled grouch! Thanks, pal!"

_Poof_.

He disappeared in a wisp of smoke, and the gate melted away.

"Good one," Navi congratulated Link.

Link smiled. "C'mon, if your brother is Barney, I'd imagine you'd need some relief."

"I'd expect so," Navi laughed.

Mido was peeking around the corners, looking cautiously.

"Move aside, shrimp," Link ordered imperiously, shoving Mido to the nearest tree.

Navi gasped. "No, Link! Get out-"

"OW!!!!"

A spear lightly touched Link's back and started shoving him into the hole filled with water.

"-of there." Navi finished, groaning.

Link coughed and clambered up the ledge, shaking his head, splashing water everywhere.

"What was that?" he sputtered. "I thought there were only Deku Scrubs."

"Apparently not," Navi said grimly. "I think they were replaced with Moblins.

The Moblin spotted Link with suprising speed and charged towards him with a roar.

Link squeaked and dived back into the water before the Moblin could hit him.

"How am I supposed to get out without getting hit???" Link whined.

"Erm....you can um....sneak off?"

"That's a real great idea, Nav-"

The hookshot chain suddenly sprung from Link's pouch and slammed straight into the Moblin, knocking him unconscious.

"Or that would work." Navi said in awe. "How did you do that?"

Link shrugged. "It just set itself off by accident. I must of pressed the button while I was thinking."

Navi watched as the blue flames curled around the Moblin and pulled him beneath the ground.

"I'm pretty sure this guy had some friends...Mido! Josephine! It's clear! C'mon!"

The group cautiously crept by, not making a sound.

"Ok, let's go. No wait! Stop!"

Link screeched to a stop and looked frantically around, spotting the Moblin.

"Get rid of him," Mido hissed.

_Pwang_. The Moblin fell down , with Link looking pale, holding the hookshot.

"I think that's it," Navi whispered. "C'mon, we're nearly there."

The group passed rather speedily through the corriders, Link shooting any Moblins down with the hookshot and dodging the spears when they found him.

"There..." Mido whispered. "We're here."

But the fact remained that a giant Moblin armed with a huge club was blocking the way to the stairs.

Link gulped and tried to kill the Moblin, but the hookshot bounced uselessly off the armor.

"Look, Link! He's sending out waves of gravel! Watch out!"

Link swerved to the right just as time as the wave washed over the stairs going down.

"You'll have to kill him with your sword, Link!" Navi said urgently.

Link nodded, moving left and right, avoiding the waves easily.

Finally, he was close enough to hit the Moblin with the sword.

The armor the Moblin was wearing was extremely thick and very hard to destroy, as it was forged from Ganondorf's best black magic.

But it was no match for the Master Sword.

The sword slid through the Moblin, and Link looked like he was ready to throw up when the blood splattered on the floor.

Quickly Link pulled it out and scrambled away, expecting the Moblin to fall down, defeated. But the Moblin wanted some revenge before he died.

Taking his club, he swung it round and round, slamming the walls, causing them to crumble, giant rocks falling down.

"Get out, Link!" Navi screamed.

Link rolled out just in time as a giant piece of rock fell down.

He panted, gasping for breath as the cloud of dust cleared. The giant Moblin was replaced with one silver rupee.

Link's eyes widened. Navi swore she saw a money symbol in his eyes.

He scooped it up and cradled it like a baby, then placing it in his pouch.

They hurried forward into the unblocked path and looked in amazement at Shiek, standing on a weird Triforce platform.

"Shiek!" Link cried out.

"Hello, Link. I only came here to teach you a simple melody, the Minuet of Forest. This will transport you to this place whenever you wish to visit it again."

Mido looked suspiciously at Shiek. "Who is he?"

Shiek ignored him and took out a golden harp, and played a small tune, his bruised and blistered fingers gently stroking the strings.

Link took out his ocarina and followed along, with Josephine slowly drifting off into a sweet sleep.

Finally, Shiek stopped. "You learn quickly. Goodbye, Link."

He slapped a Deku Nut to the floor and Link looked expectantly at the stairs.

A few minutes later, they saw Shiek tumbling down the stairs.

"Stop looking!" Shiek yelled.

Link laughed and focused on the tree stump where Saria used to sit.

"Hm...I wonder how we get up?"

"Hey, Link, doesn't that tree look...sorta...why is it so conviently placed right at the entrance?"

"Well, you know what, we got nothing to lose, and don't I have the hookshot?"

"Why yes, I think you do."


	49. Link Put Down That Sword

**Lol, we all get a lil' lazy....=P I think it's the um..All Against Mido Association...oh, that's very good, cuz I'm re-playing the game and the Shadow Temple's my least favourite part of it...so I'd need quite a bit o' help..they are??? Really? Hmm, okay. I'll try to get a min of 1000 words each chap.**

**Wow, Cat of Darkness, you must really hate Barney...:D I'm with you all the way! Hmmmm....that's quite a good idea...(scratches chin) Whoopie Cushions? :D:D:D:D:D**

**And hopefully it never will...:P**

**Lol. Yup, I think I forgot about the disclaimer in that chappie...hehehe.....ahem...let's not talk about that, shall we?**

**Hmm, Phantwo, I have to agree with you. The first chap is actually quite bad. The tenses aren't used very well.....I did tend to make a lot of mistakes there...perhaps I should remake it.**

**Lol, don't worry, Chris-Haliwell, I intend to. Yes, it is my first. :P**

**I'm afraid I'm losing my imagination for methods of torture on the disclaimer.**

**(disclaimer sighs in relief)**

**That is why I'm appealing to you guys for your help! **

**(disclaimer runs away)**

**(steals Ganon's Triforce and zaps with lightning)**

**By the way, Link used the hookshot to get into the temple, it's just not mentioned in this chap.**

* * *

There were times when Navi was thinking about how lucky they had been, surviving so far into their journey, and wondering-what would happen at the end? After they saved Hyrule, would they just go back to Kokiri Forest?

Link broke the silence. "Navi? Where are we?"

Navi looked around, noting the burning torches, or more like the symbol on them.

"Look, Link."

Link ran his finger over the odd symbol engraved on both torches. It felt warm and bumpy, despite it's appearance.

A bit of dust fell off and uncovered some words.

"What the heck does this mean?"

Navi stared at the shining gold words.

"It looks like the old language," Navi said slowly. "My mother tought it to me when I was a child."

"You were a child before?" Link joked.

"Quiet, Mr. Wise guy," Navi snapped, not meaning to sound so harsh. "I need to think...this language was only used by the chosen ones....you know, the ones who guarded the temples. Only really wise Hylians know this language. This language was never known to Evil Ones, so it was a perfect form of communication for people who didn't want evil to intercept their letters and information."

Link sat down thoughtfully, taking in the info.

"So what does it mean?"

"I'm not really sure...this is really old...I don't even think fairies know this language. In fact, I'm almost certain that this language was concealed for a reason, not even spread to the network of chosen ones. I think that this goes down right to the beginning, when Hyrule was created."

"So what does it mean??" Link repeated.

"Well...there's a word here and there I understand, but it doesn't really make sense. I can make a rough translation, but I don't fully believe that's what it means...."

Navi peered at the letters again, double-checking and frowning.

"Um...the Sage of Forest will protect his or her element without hesitation. For they have chosen to live their life away from evil, from the threat that burns the trees, that kills the life, and they have chosen to forever protect the race they were born to. They will be held to the promise they swore. Because of their sacrifice, they shall be given a medallion to represent their magic and status. Without the medallion, they are powerless. Dokenian, Makinan, Liskno."

Link scratched his head. "Donkey Kong, Mario, Lint?"

"No, dummy, Dokenian, Makinan, and Liskno. That's really old. In fairy language, it means that you are blessed by the goddesses..."

"Boy, that's confusing."

"But I wonder...this symbol...it's so familiar....I remember it now! It's from one of the books....it's the symbol of the forest! It protects it, and the Deku Tree, he used to have it carved on his back."

"No wonder he never let me see his back...well, anyways....what do we now?"

Navi was overwhelmed. All the thinking about the language brought back memories of childhood, about her parents.

"I wonder what happened to them," she mumbled.

"What?"

Navi shook her head, shaking away the sad thoughts. "Nothing...I guess we should just go have a look around. Like Rauru said, we have to find-"

_Awoooo_.

A Wolfos began trotting towards them, claws raised.

Link stumbled back and fumbled for his sword and shield.

The Deku Shield, however, had shrunk in size in comparison to Link, and was just about as useful as a book.

Link whimpered.

Navi was determined to win, even though she wasn't fighting.

"Go! Get movin'!" she shouted like a coach. "Move! Don't be such a girl!"

Link made a stab with his sword and missed.

The Wolfos lunged at Link, howling.

Link dodged it, backed into the wall, and looked around frantically.

"What are you doing???" Navi hissed.

"This," Link grunted.

Link flexed his fingers, clutched the loose wood on the nearest tree and pulled.

The wood ripped off like hot water melting ice.

Link held it like a makeshift shield.

"C'mon, you nasty little wolf, c'mon!"

Link stuck out his tongue like a five-year old.

"Nah-nah! You can't catch me!"

The Wolfos got on its hind legs and started clawing it's way to Link.

Link ducked and swung his sword from the right, giving the Wolfos a severe wound in the stomach.

The Wolfos growled and slashed at Link, ripping his shield in half.

Link backed off a few paces and held his sword ready, looking pale and sweaty.

The Wolfos howled, and his claws suddenly, started to grow thicker and sharper.

Link looked like he was praying to the goddesses to make it out alive.

Navi watched the battle with desperation, silently cheering Link on.

Finally, the Wolfos started moving so quickly, it looked like a grey blur.

Link was caught off guard and his sword was knocked away, clattering as it spiraled away on the ground.

The Wolfos slashed from the side, giving Link a couple of new scratches.

Link started crying.

"You no fun!" he yelled. "I tell Mommy! And Mommy get mad at you!"

If it wasn't such a serious situation, Navi would've snickered.

The Wolfos whimpered and starting trotting away, his tail tucked between his legs.

Navi was amazed. "How did you do that?"

"Nasty wolf no nice!"

Navi looked in disbelief.

All of a sudden, Link laughed insanely.

"Finally! After years of imprisonment, I am free! Free!!!"

He danced around, singing happily.

"Erm...Link? Are you okay?" Navi asked cautiously.

Link stopped dancing and his eyes narrowed as they focused on Navi.

He started advancing slowly, not answering her question.

Navi started to feel a bit frightened.

"Link, stop. You're scaring me." Navi squeaked.

Link ignored the shivering fairy, bent down, swiped the sword from the ground and continued his way to Navi.

Navi backed off a little, but Link's pounce was farther than she thought.

Link's thumb and index finger held Navi by the wings.

Holding a fairy by the wings is like holding a person by their hair.

Navi couldn't say a thing. She just stared, her mouth gaping.

Link raised his sword with his other hand.

"Navi," Link snarled, "have I ever told you that your constant bickering makes me sick?"

And right then Navi knew that there was no hope for her.


	50. The Tale of A Strategy Guide

**Yay!!! Chapter 50 and 100 reviews! What nice, even numbers.**

**Wow, a tranquilizer gun? That....would really hurt....**

**Awww......it can't be the _best_ fanfiction you've ever read..**

**Hahahaha, Link will...or will not....put down that sword...just read up this chapter and find out. I think you'll be disappointed again...=P**

**(puts disclaimer in tank full of disclaimer-eating sharks)**

**Muahahahahahhaha!**

* * *

Navi closed her eyes tightly, not wanting to see what was going to happen.

Link was breathing through ragged gasps as he slowly put lowered the sword.

Navi felt the sharp edge scrape her head, and shuddered, feeling the trickle of blood.

But the sword didn't go any further.

Navi opened one eye and peeked at Link.

Link looked dazed.

His gaze suddenly focused and saw his sword, Navi, and put it together, figuring out what he was going to do.

Link dropped the sword, looking horrified.

Navi backed away, not trusting her partner.

Link looked at his hands like there was poison on it.

"Navi," he whispered. "I'm so sorry..."

A faint look of hatred fluttered into Navi's unforgiving eyes.

It was like Navi had just struck Link on the face with that look.

"What have I done..." Link slid down the wall, still gazing at his hands.

"You nearly killed me, that's what you did!" Navi spat out, half-frightened and half-angry.

"I swear, Navi, I didn't mean to!" Link cried out. "I don't know what happened to me....I just...I don't know.."

Link looked so confused and frightened that half of Navi's anger melted away.

"Why...what happened...I don't remember anything..."

Right then and there Navi realized Link was telling the truth.

Rauru's words echoed in her head.

"Link," Navi said cautiously. "You had just frightened off the Wolfos, and you were wailing about how he wasn't being nice to you. What happened after that?"

Link rubbed his forehead. "I don't know...I blacked out after that. And that's it...and now I woke up and found myself holding the sword and trying to murder you. I'm really sorry Navi."

Navi relaxed. "It's okay, Link. I forgive you....it's just that...I'm worried..you can't keep...blacking out."

Link looked extremely tense.

"I don't know, Navi..." he mumbled. "This is getting really weird."

Navi nodded in agreement. "We could keep talking, but we still have to free the sage."

"You're right."

Link got up unsteadily, put one hand on the wall for balance and hesitantly reached out for the Master Sword.

"Was it...painful?" Link asked awkwardly.

Navi was surprised. "Not really. I just have a little cut on my head, that's all. Don't worry, it'll blend in with the bruises."

Link managed a weak smile as he shoved the Master Sword into the scabbard.

Navi was still quite shocked at how easily she had forgiven Link. _He nearly kills me and I'm still his partner. I really trust him, don't I?_

They made their way through the narrow passage silently, Link sneezing every few seconds.

Navi spotted the light at the end of the tunnel first, yelling, "Hey, look!"

Link squinted through the darkness.

"I can't see," Link said, disappointed.

"No worries, we'll just keep going," Navi reassured him.

Finally, when they reached the end, Navi flew ahead to scope out their surroundings.

It seemed to be an abandoned room with four neatly lit torches, one red, one blue, one yellow, and one purple.

There was ivy growing everywhere, and Skulltulas spinning webs at the sides.

The spooky part were the portraits hanging at the front, depicting scenes of monsters fighting Hylians.

Link slid down the rail of the stairs, cheering.

All of a sudden, the torches started...chuckling?

The red flame laughed, and it seemed to mock Link the way it danced around in circles.

The yellow, purple, and blue flames went high up in the air and vanished.

Link had a blank look on his face, which clearly said, "Huh?"

The red flame snorted and disappeared, leaving the torches all unlit.

"Poes," Navi answered before Link could ask. "Mischevious flames that can change to ghosts, with special lanterns. Sorta like Dampe."

"Oh."

"Apparently we're supposed to light these torches, and the weird symbol on the floor will rise up to reveal an elevator, which will take us down to the boss. We have to find the poes and kill them to light the torches."

"How do you know that?" Link asked in amazement.

"Prima's official strategy guide," Navi replied, tossing a small book on the ground. "Well, that was pretty useless. Didn't even mention me. Well, we better get going."

Link pocketed the strategy guide, thinking, "how did she get that?"

"Hey, look, Link! A treasure chest! It's on the symbol right there!"

Link hurried down the stairs and kicked it open, revealing a tough and sturdy shield.

"I recognize this!" Navi gasped. "The Knights of Hyrule use this shield! It's called the um...Hylian Shield or something."

"Very original," Link muttered.

Navi floated over to the other side, spotting a door.

"And over here, Link! Let's check this out."

Link ran up the stairs, panting.

Inside was not the most pleasant surprise. A giant Skulltula hung from it's web, looking disgusting, it's black empty eyes staring at Link.

Link nearly threw up, but held it in and stared back.

And so started the No-Blinking contest.

Navi yawned, watching as Link's eyes started watering.

Something blue was trickling down out of the Skulltula's eyes.

Link grunted in frustration, trying hard to keep his eyes open.

The Skulltula made a strange, "Mmmffff" sound and popped into dust.

Link closed his eyes for a long time, and finally opened them and sighed in relief.

"I was just about to crack," Link said happily to Navi, picking up the Deku Nut the Skulltula left behind. "Also, there'a door right there."

Navi flew excitedly to the door with ivy tangled up all around it.

Link looked extremely reluctant to open the door.

"What is it?" Navi asked, noticing his pale face.

"I don't know............I just get this bad feeling..."

Navi waved it away. "I'm the master of feelings, Link. If I knew there was something evil in that room, like two particularly large bony monsters, I would tell you not to open that door. So, let's get going!"

Link's face didn't look so assured, but he twisted the doorknob and pulled.

"Navi?" Link said slowly.

"Yup?" Navi said in a false-cheery voice.

"Didn't you say something about large bony monsters?"


	51. The Fairy Bow

**You like...mayonaise..that's...um...nice....but does that have to do with anything related to the story?**

**Mr. Kyle...you're the Crazy Guy right? Well, if Navi gets killed too early...well...who would take the place of extremely annoying yet smart charcacter?**

**(whacks disclaimer with mallet)**

* * *

Navi looked so white she could've blended in with a bank of snow.

Link, on the other hand was sweating buckets.

Because in the room were two extremely dangerous-looking and armed to the bone Stalfos.

"Link, let's get out of here." Navi squeaked, motioning to the door and then stopping dead.

There were tight metal bars locked into placed on the door, preventing their escape.

Navi closed her eyes, hoping it was only a dream, opened them, and groaned when she saw the metal bars still there.

Link was frantically flipping through the pages of the strategy guide.

Navi watched Link anxiously, glancing back at the advancing Stalfos worriedly.

"Okay, I got it!" Link announced.

"What??" Navi cried out.

"_Stalfos_ are extremely powerful creatures. The easiest way get rid of them is to touch them on the head with your index finger...?"

"Oh my Farore...so touch them on the head Link!" Navi shouted.

"Easy for you to say...look!"

Navi stared at the Stalfos heads.

Locked into place was a heavy metal cap that seemed to say, "You can't even lift me off!"

"You'll have to engage them in combat then!" Navi yelled.

"Yeah, and that'll be as easy as pie too, right???"

Link gulped and pulled out his newly found Hylian Shield and Master Sword.

"Even with all the shield and stuff he still looks like a regular little kid, just armed with a sword and all," Navi accidentally mumbled aloud.

"Thanks for the support, Navi." Link said before charging at the Stalfos.

Navi blushed and watched with growing dread.

_Clang_.

The Stalfos blocked Link attack easily with his heavy shield, retaliating by surging his crimson blade forwards, narrowly missing the Kokiri as Link jumped back in nick of time.

The other Stalfos had snuck up on Link.

"OWWWWWWWW!" Link kneeled down, rocking back and forth, yelling. Navi peeked at Link's back with fear.

There was a huge red gash, bleeding profusely.

Navi wasn't exactly the greatest fan of blood and gore, and started to throw up.

Link, on the other hand, was groaning in pain as he struggled to get up.

"ARAOUHHHHHH! YOU MAKE ME ANGRY! AND ME NO LIKE IT WHEN YOU MAKE ME ANGRY!"

Link started to grow in size, and strangest of all...he was turning green?

"I AM HULK! AND HULK IS ANGRY!"

Link swung his huge hands, knocking the Stalfos into the wall, and they kept on going and going.

Navi was still throwing up, unaware of what was happening.

Link started shrink. Finally, he brushed his hands and craned his neck to get a good view of the wound, and failed.

"Navi," Link whined. "Can you tell me if the scratch is okay?"

Navi coughed, stopped, took a look, and gazed at Link with amazement.

"It's perfectly fine," Navi assured him. "I don't know what your talking about."

In truth, it was still bleeding, but if Link wasn't feeling any pain...and Navi knew he would purposefully start to complain if he knew.

"Okay, and-wow! Look at that!"

Link raced to the gold treasure chest and kicked it open, greed gleaming in his eyes.

A few more moments later, Link was crying.

"Link??" Navi asked, alarmed. "Are you all right???"

"Yeah," Link sobbed. "There are onions in there!"

"Oh."

Navi started flying to chest, wanting to see for herself.

"By the goddesses," Navi cried. "It burns!"

Minutes after, both Navi and Link had sufficiently healed their eyes enough to snatch the shiny Fairy Bow.

"Nice.." Navi congratulated. "Give it a few test shots, practice a little."

Link nocked an arrow and aimed.

"Hey! Are you trying to kill me again??" Navi screeched, flying out of the way as the arrow whizzed by her ear.

"Sorry Navi, I was aiming for that weird picture over there."

Navi looked around and spotted the picture on the other side of Link.

"Yeah," Navi sighed, exasperated. "Yeah."


	52. The Poe Sistahs!

****

**I think it's easier if I just address the people who reviewed. By the way, what are the other three Poe Sisters called? Jo was the red one, who were the blue, yellow, and purple ones again?**

**(Mr. Kyle) Lol, I loved that "HULK SMASH PUNY ANNOYING THING!" We're stuck with Navi all right, for how long, I dunno, but remember...she leaves in the ending....right? Or does she? =P And lol, that didn't waste my time at all. The script was pretty amusing.**

**(KrystalFox) Yes, I shall use that method tommorow! Muahahaha!**

**(Chocolate Starfish) Oooh yes, where didja get it from anyways?**

**(Hoo-Flung Pu) Yes, if only Link could aim...that would help Navi's bruises....ooh, I like that idea! Ah, Sebat...the frying pan obsessed maniac. MUAHAHAHAHA!**

**(navi the rabid pixie) I'm not awesome, dude, I am NOT awesome. I'm just one tiny little part of and there are a lot of other better stories on fanfiction lol. **

**(dannyphantomsgf / Yamisg) Really? Horror?? How come?**

**(Cat of Darkness) Hm. Hm. Hm. I only got one thing to say. I like your ideas. And hm. Hm. Hm. Your age is surprising. Hm. Hm. HMMMMMM....**

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**(tranquilizes disclaimer and slaps into air-tight container) -Idea thanks to Chris-Haliwell...the mighty Hulk is next!**

* * *

Navi was keeping a far distance from Link, eyeing his new arrows and bow warily. 

Link didn't even seem to notice Navi's disappearance, continuing on like Navi was right beside him.

"Oooh, look at that painting! It looks sorta weird."

Navi inched a little bit closer to Link while she examined the picture.

"No it's not...." Navi argued. "It's just bl-"

An odd looking figure literally hopped out of the painting holding a lantern.

Link recognized the ghost.

"It's the Red Poe!!!" Link cried out, stabbing his finger at her. "He's come to haunt us!"

The Poe looked affronted. "Exxcuuusee me, but I'm a _girl_! My name is Jo, you idiot, so what can you expect??"

Navi suddenly caught a flash of gold eyeshadow.

"But you didn't-" Link started to say.

"You dimwitted fool! Of course you know my name is Jo! Look up!"

Link noticed a flashing bright neon sign labeled, ""Jo-The First Poe of the Four Poe Sisters!""

"What a stupid boy," Jo growled. "I'm going get rid of him and my sisters will shall applaud me."

Jo started spinning around, flames hopping out of her lantern like Dampe.

Except her flames were specialized to injure people.

"Shield!" Navi yelled.

Link thrust the Hylian shield up just in time as one of the flames burnt a sizzling hole in his shield.

Navi shuddered at the sheer power of one tiny little fireball.

Link constantly dodged and avoided the fireballs, not knowing what to do.

Navi couldn't see any weaknesses in Jo's tactic, but she noticed that the Poe paused every few seconds for a deep breath.

The next time Jo stopped, Navi shouted shrilly, "ATTACK!"

Link was caught off guard and looked around wildly, stabbing his sword at random spots.

One of his hits found their mark.

Jo started screaming, dropping her lantern and slowly was sucked into the ground.

Both Link and Navi sighed in relief at the same time.

"Hey, look Link, that torch is lighted!"

Indeed, the torch beside the door was lit with a bright red flame unlike any other.

Navi flew as close she could to the torch and examined it carefully.

"That's one down, Link...we have three more to go!"

Link kicked open the tiny chest beside the torch and collected the small silver key.

"Ok, let's get going."

"There's no doorknob, Navi. How can we-"

The door slid up like it had heard Link's comment.

Navi grinned. "There ya go, mister."

Link nocked an arrow and and aimed through the open space.

"What are you doing, Link?? Let's just keep going."

"Watch," Link grunted.

Navi settled herself on Link's hat, steadying herself to keep balance. The fairy was watching closely at the entrance, but saw nothing. No monsters, nothing. Just an empty room.

_Pwang_.

Link suddenly let the arrow go.

The arrow cut through the air, only a brown blur as it kept going-

"OW!"

Link and Navi watched in surprise as a hooded figure fell down, dressed in green.

Navi's mouth fell open.

Link, alarmed, automatically started to pelt the figure with arrows.

The figure gasped for breath as he started to disappear in green flames.

"Oh my Farore! How did you see him! What happened? You hit him! How did you..." questions tumbled out of Navi's mouth.

"It was really an accident," Link admitted, pointing to the picture at the other side of the room. "I was aiming for that poe and he must of been really unlucky to be right in front of the painting at that precise time."

"Oh." Navi said simply. "But I wonder who that was."

"Yeah, me too....hope he was Mido..."

"Link!" Navi said, shocked.

"Did I say Mido? I meant...um...the..um..Deku Tree!"

"LINK!" Navi yelled, half-angry, half-shocked.

"I meant the disclaimer!" Link stammered in a desperate attempt.

"Oh, okay." Navi relaxed. "Yeah, me too."

Link wiped his brow in relief. "Yeah, so, what about that picture?"

"Maybe you should hit it with an-"

"Die, you fool! You have sent my little sister to the world of Poes, which she used to dread, and I shall now kill you to avenge her poor soul!!!"

The blue Poe spinned around madly, causing light blue flames to hop out and dance around Link.

Link's foot accidentally touched one, and he felt freezing pain.

The Poe laughed maliciously.

"I get this feeling we're not gonna be so lucky this time, Navi." Link groaned as he hopped on his other foot away from the Poe.

"Me too, Link, me too."


	53. Twisted Hallways and Giant Spiders

**Okay, okay, I admit it, I've been really lazy and I haven't been updating. (whacks self with hammer) Bad writer! Bad writer! But y'know, school and all...**

**(Mr. Kyle) Plz, continue with these scripts! Funny...so funny...P Shrek is next? And yea, I did make a mistake with that...wow...I'm really oblivious...**

**(dannyphantomsgf / Yamisgf) Eewww, Bongo Bongo? That was the worst day of my life when I played him...(horrifying image of getting sucked into T.V. screen) Ohhhh....hm....well, I don't know about that...P**

**(KrystalFox) Ahhh, thank you very much, Kyrstal. The world needs more strategy guides...(Sigh) It's worse than global warming..arghh...wallmaster...guillotines..(groan) What IS that temple for, anyway??? OH, lol, I plan to finish this all right.**

**(Cat of Darkness) Yes, age is everything, lol. Yup, my chapters are gettng shorter....and shorter....and shorter..**

**Is there somethin' wrong with cuz I can't seem to use Italic. Weird. Anyways, I apologize for the short chapter this time, but I was eager to update.**

* * *

Link dodged another ball of flame, tripped and fell flat on his face. 

The Poe laughed wickedly. "I will destroy you for killing my dear sister!"

From the ground, Link rolled his eyes. "Well, it's obvious, isn't it?? I mean, like, you're attacking me and all, and you're ranting about some weird red guy-"

"STOP IT! SHE WAS A GIRL!!! CAN YOU NOT TELL THE DIFFERENCE FROM A BOY....AND A GIRL!?!?!?!?" the Poe yelled.

"No, he can't." Navi muttered, remembering Kaepora.

"Oh." the Poe stopped. "Ok then. I have pity on you. You must be blind or something."

Link scrambled to his feet and glared at the Poe.

"Now listen here, I _can _distinguish the difference between a boy and a girl!"

The Poe glared back. "Well then, tell me, is that fairy a girl or a boy, and am I a girl or a boy?"

Link snorted. "That's easy. Both of you are boys."

There was a stunned silence.

Then-

"OWWWWWWW!!!"

**A Few Seconds and a Bruised Cheek Later...**

Navi, when she had teamed up with the Poe to slap Link, had learned her name was Beth, and that her other two sisters names were Meg and Amy.

Link was rubbing his cheek, looking grumpy.

"Don't be such a sore loser..." he mumbled.

Navi liked the fact that he was five metres away from her when he said that.

"You deserved it," Navi and Beth said in unison.

"Well, anyways, I gotta get going. Here, I'll light the torch for you." Beth called from afar.

Suddenly, the cackling Poe disappeared, leaving the torch lit. There was also another treasure chest beside it.

Link kicked the treasure chest and collected the Small Key that bounced out.

"Ok, that's two torches down, and two more to go."

"Yeah," Link said gloomily as he waited for the door to open. "Yeah."

"What's the matter, Link...?"

"Nothing."

"I get the feeling you're not telling me something." Navi said suspiciously.

"It's nothing, really."

Navi rolled her eyes. "Let's go through, I sort of want to-"

"EEEK!"

Link let out a high-pitched girly scream and nearly fainted.

"Link!" Navi cried out in alarm. "What is it!??!?"

Link pointed to the tiny spider moving around in a web at the top right corner of the door.

"For Din's sake," Navi yelled in exasperation. "It's a SPIDER. KILL IT. YOU'VE SEEN BIGGER."

Link shook his head.

"What??? Why not??"

"The spider will come after me in my dreams," Link whimpered. "They'll come and haunt me for the rest of my life!"

Navi was in disbelief. "You will kill that spider right now, mister, or you are not getting...getting...that Teletubbies set you wanted for Christmas!"

_Pwang._

The spider fell down, twitching.

Navi felt sorry for it, but there was no doubt Link wouldn't pass through without the spider dead.

"Okay, let's keep goin'," Link said cheerfully, pocketing the hookshot.

_Boom. Boom. Boom._

Link stopped and slowly turned around and screamed.

A _huge, tremendous _spider was crawling towards them, looking angry at the sight of the tiny little spider dead on the floor.

Navi's jaw dropped open.

"Run." Link whispered, scrambling for the exit.

Navi dodged a long, hairy leg and zipped after Link, shouting, "Wait for me!!!"

The spider clumsily followed the pair, making odd chittery noises.

Link panted as he screeched to a stop, realizing where they were.

"Look, Navi, we're in the room with the four torches!"

Navi looked back and spotted the spider clicking madly.

"Not anymore!" Navi squeaked, flying off to another door.

Link scrambled after Navi, clambered up the ledge, and frantically sped towards the door.

The spider chittered angrily, trying to follow, but it couldn't climb up the ledge and watched in fury, stuck.

Link stuck his tongue out at the spider before hurrying through the door.

"Wow. This room is odd."

"Yeah, it is." Link said, turning his head upside down. "It's not so bad at this point of view, though."

They were in a twisted hallway.


	54. Locked Doors

**Right now I'm battling with the fact that I keep forgetting the disclaimer and making shorter chapters.**

**(disclaimer cackles evilly and strokes bottle labeled, "Anti-Writer Spray")**

**(Chocolate Starfish) Yes...yes indeed. I just like the part where Link gets slapped. Hot...hot dog....flavoured...water...(smacks lips and looks at disclaimer)**

**(dannyphantomsgf / Yamisgf) Lol, it wasn't twisted! :D I see your point, actually. But....horror...hmm...nah...I'd prefer to keep it humor, cuz you know, like...it's not really horror and stuff until Link changes, and I'll let you in on a secret. I think that Link should only change at least once at each temple, but Navi should get a clear warning in his eyes....**

**(KrystalFox) Meep. I forgot the disclaimer again. I'm getting old...(sniffles as white hair falls down)**

**(Ryu-Gi) Ow. Electrical. Socket. OW.**

**(Chris-Haliwell) Yeah, I think I named all the um....kiddy shows...hey wait a minute! Blue's CLUES!!!! **

**(Mr. Kyle) (blush) P Righto. (ponders) Shadow...Temple..eww..wow, you thought that was the easiest? I thought the easiest was the Fire Temple...Water Temple was...a little...difficult...and Shadow Temple..just...(faints)**

**(Link transforms into Hulk and smashes disclaimer into wall.) Idea thanks to KrystalFox!**

**By the way, guys, thanks for the ideas. It's death for the disclaimer! HURRAY!**

* * *

"Navi, um, why are you looking at my eyes?" 

Navi was caught off guard. "Er...um...I thought I saw something....moving."

"That was my eyeball, Navi."

"I mean...I thought I saw...a tear..."

"Oh."

_Close call_, Navi thought uneasily. The fairy had really been spying on him, to see whether he was going to change.

"So, what do you reckon we should do?" Navi asked, hoping to take Link's mind off the subject.

"Well...a twisted hallway. What could we do in a twisted hallway?"

"Go to the end and open the door?" Link suggested sarcastically, answering his own question.

_Wham._

Link raised his shield just in time as what seemed to be a flaming skull crashed into him.

"Navi!" Link yelled. "What is it??"

Navi, although how grim the circumstances were, couldn't help smiling. The perfect distraction.

"It's a Green Bubble! See, you've extinguished the flame, so use your sword and hit it!"

Link slammed the Master Sword down and watched as it met head on with the skull.

The skull seemed to vibrate for a few seconds, and then melted away into blue flames.

Navi applauded and flew by the door.

Link slid the Master Sword into the scabbard and followed Navi, opening the door with a flourish.

"Oh, that's simply superb. We're in a garden."

The garden, however, was rather..untended to, and let quite a few nasty weeds grow up.

Like giant Deku Babas.

Link dodged the Baba as it made a desperate attempt to bite off Link's head.

The Deku Baba snapped at Link again, but started to sway from side to side as it hit the tough metal of the Hylian shield.

Link stumbled a couple of paces back, the Hylian Shield causing him to retreat because of the hard impact.

The Kokiri suddenly sat down on one knee, took out his arrows and bow, and aimed.

This time, Navi flew up really high so that Link couldn't hit her.

Link pulled back the arrow...and let go, waiting breathlessly.

The arrow sped towards the Deku Baba's mouth.

Navi watched in anticipation, slowly floating back to Link.

The Deku Baba caught the arrow with it's jaws and spat it out, and Navi, who was in the way, felt in fear as the arrow whizzed right on top of her head, making her hairs prickle and stand up.

Whimpering, Navi flew away again.

Link quickly jumped back as the Deku Baba made a furious lunge.

"Okay then, arrows didn't work..." Link muttered. "So...Master Sword?"

_Screech._

The Deku Baba twitched for a few seconds, and fell down with a thud.

Link grimaced as he wiped his Master Sword clean of blue blood.

Navi started to explore, looking at the balconies and avoiding the Skulltulas climbing the vines.

"LINK!"

Link jumped in suprise and started turning his head left and right in surprise, sweat dripping down from his forehead.

"I didn't do it, Mrs. Siddown! Really! I swear! It was someone else!" he whimpered.

"For Farore's sake, Link!" Navi sighed, exasperated as she floated down to the frightened Kokiri.

"Not the dunce hat, Mrs. Siddown! REALLY! PLEASE! I'M BEGGING YOU!"

Navi stared dully at her screaming partner.

After a while, Link's cries quieted and he looked at Navi, his face flushed.

Navi pointed to a door by the small stream of murky water, still too angry to speak.

"Door. You. Go. Now."

Link squeaked and frantically scrambled to the door, panting.

But the door was quite odd. There were chains bound tightly to it, and a silver lock right smack dab in the mdidle.

Link tried cutting through it with the Master Sword, but his efforts were futile, and the chains gleamed brightly as ever.

"It's an enchantment, I'm sure of it," Navi said thoughtfully.

_Click._

Navi looked in amazement as the chains fell off into a useless pile in front of the door.

"An enchantment?" Link repeated, showing her the silver key they had found earlier.

"Yeah," Navi mumbled.

It was a tight squeeze, and another locked door was placed right behind the last one.

"Weird." Link said, frowning, trying to shove the same key in, but watched in disappointment as the key didn't fit.

"We need another key with a different..edge..." Navi guessed.

"Wait a minute!" Link cried out excitedly. "We found another key, remember?"

"Oh! Right!"

Link rummaged in his pockets for a while until he took out the small key, smiling triumphantly.

Anxiously the Kokiri jammed the key in, hoping desperately that it would fit.

But it didn't.

Sighing, Link placed the key back into his pocket, looking gloomy and dismal.

"Ok...better go explore again." Navi said, trying to cheer Link up.

There wasn't much to the garden. The grass was parched and dry, the stone walls had dozens of cracks, and the stream...well, let's just say that sticking your foot in that water was not exactly the smartest idea in the world.

Navi found a strange target on the wall right above the door.

"Looks like an archery target, Link." Navi murmured.

Link took out his arrows and bow, nocked an arrow, aimed at the white target, and missed.

Angry, Link rapidly started to pelt the target with arrows.

Well, he _tried _to pelt it with arrows.

Navi watched in silence, wanting to tell Link to stop wasting his precious ammunition, but the storm of arrows was simply so mesmerizing.

When his quiver was empty, Link examined the target.

The arrows were littered all around the target, but not a single one had hit it.

The corner of Link's mouth twitched.

"RARRGHHH!" Link let out a war cry and started slamming the target with everything he had.

But only his hookshot found it's target.

"EEK!"

Link was immediately pulled off the ground and stared at Navi, frightened, dangling in the air, holding on to his hookshot with both hands.

"I think you'd better let go, Link. " Navi said nervously.

Link closed his eyes, tugged at his hookshot one last time, and fell down in a heap.

Navi flinched.

"That hurt." Link moaned, not getting up.

"C'mon, Link. We still have a lot to do."

Link rolled over. "Don't remind me..."

Navi sighed. "Link, get up."

Link yawned and slowly got up, scratching his head.

"Hey, what's that?" Link asked, pointing to something in the grass. "Looks like a treasure chest."

Navi's ears perked up as she flew excitedly to the brown object lying on the grass.

"It's a shoe," Navi said in a disappointed voice.

Link looked very thoughtfully at Navi, and then at the shoe. In a flash, he grabbed the shoe and shook it violently up and down. Something small and silver fell out.

"The key!" Navi exclaimed.

"A shoe is always the best hiding spot," Link said proudly, blowing the tips of his fingers and he raced to the door and crammed the key in. The lock clicked and the door swung open.

"Ladies first," Navi said sarcastically.

"Go ahead," Link said, giving Navi a little push.

"No, _ladies _first," Navi repeated, giving Link a hard push and a shove. Link went sprialing in, nearly tripping over the grass. They were in a room with a painting and blocks.

"Who painted that?" Link asked, pointing to the picture with a yellow poe on it.

Navi shrugged. "Who knows? Look at those blocks..."

Link stroked the blocks like it was an affectionate dog. "Wow, these are soft."

Suddenly, all the blocks rose up in the air, flipped around and landed with a dull thud. Link, who was mildly confused stepped back and looked at the floating timer in the air.

"Cool...that's like the future, man." Link said in awe.

"And if we don't finish it in time I think we won't even get a chance to see the future!" Navi squeaked, frightened and pale, pointing to the locked and barred doors.

Link was silent.

"C'mon, Link! Finish the puzzle!"

"Navi, I have to tell you something." Link said, looking a little red.

"What???" Navi demanded.

"Um....I can't ride my bike."

Navi exploded again.

"FINISH THIS PUZZLE AND THEN WE'LL WORRY ABOUT THAT LATER!"

"Okay, okay, geez."


	55. Short Term Memory?

**Okay, okay. I've been neglecting my duties as a fanfic writer and haven't been updating lately...or at _all_. I apologize to those who I didn't mention that reviewed in the last chapter. I'll try to get at least three chapters up. Enjoy!**

**(shadow link 50) ï **


	56. Meg Mocked Me!

**Next chapter!**

**(Mr Kyle) I have so much trouble typing up your name. I keep on putting the l before the y. ARGH. :D I'm guessing you don't like Emenem, hehe. Ah, I pity your better half. (gives better half a gummy bear) The Kittens! OF COURSE. THE KITTENS....**

**(Krystal Fox) :) I got the idea for Amy in Finding Nemo, haha. :D Link is guaranteed to change at least once in all the temples, probrably two in the Shadow Temple. Muahahaha...I wish they continued the journey with Link seeking out Navi in N64....(sigh)**

**(Chocolate Starfish) (blushes furiously) Thank you for the compliments, but I say that most of my inspiration comes from my um...(frantically searches for adjective)...erg...um...nice...reviewers??**

**(dannyphantommsgf/Yamisgf) (smiles) Make um...an...what?: (scratches head) Make it in _script _form?? Really, now? **

**(Chris-Haliwell) Weird? Really? How come? And my userpage? I should update it? Perhaps...(sets off to work on page)**

**(pushes disclaimer into room with only a television, locks door, and Barney flickers on the screen. Keeps disclaimer in there for five years. Disclaimer has died in three hours.)**

**:D R.I.P. Disclaimer!**

* * *

Link shivered. It was cold.

"We're back in the center room..." Navi murmured.

"It looks like we are."

They were on a high balcony, and could see the four torches in the center, three of them lit. Navi floated down and circled around each of the torches.

"C'mon Link, come down."

Link's teeth chattered nervously. "Do I have to?"

"Link..." Navi's tone was soft and dangerous.

"Okay," Link squeaked, climbing over the edge. "Here I-"

"No, not that-"

_Boom_. Link landed painfully on the ground with a loud thud.

"Way..." Navi moaned. "You should've just used your hookshot on the torch, Link."

Sighing, Navi flew over to Link and checked for bruises. Amazingly, Link was unharmed. Link got up and rubbed his back.

"You told me to come down," Link grumbled. "You didn't specify _what _way to come down."

"Point taken," Navi agreed. Link sniffed.

"I smell muffins." Link commented. Navi took a sniff too.

"I smell popcorn. Extra butter." Navi said.

"I smell blueberry muffins, baked for thirty minutes."

"I smell popcorn with extra butter made from an inexperienced employee in AMC," Navi challenged.

"I smell blueberry muffins baked by someone's loving grandmother in an old cottage with real blueberries and put in an old oven for thirty minutes set to maximum heat." Link retorted.

Navi laughed. "I give up. But I really do smell something odd."

Link cautiously unsheathed his sword and silently stalked forward, the Master Sword in his right hand, his shield in the other.

"Blithering idiots. Fools. Stupid humans. Pathetic weaklings." The same voice they had heard in the chamber with Amy mocked them.

Link froze.

"You are truly dim-witted. I am thoroughly surprised that Jo failed to defeat you. Amy and Beth were always the soft ones. I am the strongest of the Poe Sistahs, and you will face my wrath!!!" 

A purple Poe unveiled itself in the center of all the torches.

"You are the most thickest..._things _to set foot in here. This is the Forest Temple, you fools! Only the ones worthy of magic are allowed to enter! The Poe Sisters have made sure of that for more than five centuries! Your blood will mark these walls!"

Link let out a giggle.

"Why are you laughing?" Navi hissed. "She was serious!"

"I couldn't help it," Link said, gasping for air. "I was about to scream, and that giggle just-"

A purple ball of flame suddenly flew out of Meg's lamp and slammed Link in the leg.

"OOOOOWWWW!"

Link hopped up and down on one leg. "Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow."

There was a long slash going downwards, and it looked pretty painful. Navi grimaced.

Meg cackled. "Fool. Did you think you could defeat me?"

Navi groaned. It wasn't going to be pretty.

"Let's play a game," Link panted, and Navi saw pain etched on his face.

"In your last few moments of life?" Meg sneered. "Certainly, pathetic Kokiri, I shall be generous and will grant you a "game"."

Link brightened. "See, it's called, Navi Archery."

Navi paled. She did not like the sounds of this game.

"It's okay," Link whispered into her ear. Navi relaxed. "I think I'll miss most of the time."

"You have to hit my fairy three times in a row with an arrow," Link explained, motioning at Navi, who was staring open-mouthed. "See, you have one life. If you miss then I get a hit. No shielding. And if you hit her, then you get to hit me. Same goes with me. Easy?"

"Fairly," Meg snickered. "I'll dispose of you rather quickly. So easy, in fact, I'll let you go first."

"How kind," Link said sarcastically, fitting an arrow. "By the way, any foul play is quickly um...sorted by our judge...who is...er..."

"Me," Navi quipped, still very tense.

"Right," Link said quickly, "if you cheat then the other player will get a free shot."

Meg looked suspiciously at Navi and Link before nodding.

Link nocked an arrow and aimed at Navi, who looked so white she could've blended in perfectly with snow.

"Sorry," Link mouthed. The arrow flew from the bow and brushed Navi's wings.

"Hit!" Navi declared. "Since I am the judge, I declare a hit!"

Meg humphed.

"One free hit, remember?" Link said.

Meg glared at Link and swung her lantern at him.

"Hey!" Link exclaimed. "I get a free hit!"

"I'll tell you what." Meg snarled. "I don't like this game, and I think I'm just going to get rid of you right now."

Link yelped and started running.

Meg laughed menacingly. "You can run but you can never ever hide."

"What was that game for then???" Navi yelled angrily at Link, who was scrambling up some stairs.

"I don't know," Link replied. "I was bored, I guess."

Before Navi had any time to explode, Meg slammed her lantern onto Link's back. Link howled and whipped around and slashed his sword from the side. Meg screeched in pain and seemed to disappear.

"That's gotten rid of her," Navi said, relieved. "But what about the torch? It's unlit."

"Pathetic things!" Meg spat out, popping out in front of Link, along with four other clones. They all started circling around Link, who was white and confused.

"But I hit you!" Link yelled.

"You did," Meg admitted. "But it didn't do you any good, now did it?"

"It didn't seem to," Link mumbled.

"Hit one of them, Link!" Navi shouted.

Link swung his sword at the one in front of him.

"Hahaha!" Meg chortled, as the clone disappeared. "Wrong one, dummy!"

Link paled and swung his sword in a circle. The remaining three Poes simply floated back, out of Link's reach.

"One at a time," Meg mocked.

Link growled and slashed at another. Wrong. Another. Wrong. The last Poe laughed evilly and swung the lantern at Link.

Navi flinched.

Link ignored the white hot burning pain spreading from his arm, biting at him like a thousand knives at the same time.

Three other Poes shimmered into view again. Link repeated this process, but slashed the right Poe on his second try.

"HAH! THERE!" Link yelled.

Meg howled in a mixture of pain and anger. Three other Poes popped up from thin air again and Link grew more agile and sharp, attacking the right one every other turn.

Finally, Meg let out a gasp of fury after a fatal blow and slowly sank into the floor, defeated.

"You...are...a...more...worthy...opponent that...I thought..." she said in a voice that slowly faded away. "But...you...are...no...match...for my...master..."

Link shrank away from Meg as she tried desperately one last time to hit him with her lantern.

A purple flame rose from where Meg once floated and lit the last torch. There was a loud rumble, and the odd symbol on the floor slowly rose up, shaking off centuries of dust.

"Cool," Navi squeaked. The odd brown object stood there, waiting. It looked like an elevator with four open steps. "Better go on, Link."

Link slowly approached the elevator and stuck one foot on it.

"What are you waiting for?" Navi asked impatiently.

"Well, see, I had these frightening dreams where I would be gobbled up by an insane enchanted elevator that looks exactly-"Link pointed to the innocent elevator, "like that."

Navi glared at Link. "Get on the elevator."

"But I could be instantly devoured!" Link protested.

"We'll take our chances. Get on the elevator."

Link pouted.

"Don't you care if I get eaten?" Link whined. "My dreams are usually correct. Mido told me that you have to beware of Kokiri-eating elevators. They're common in the Lost Woods, mysterious temples you only set foot in for saving someone, and an artist's kitchen."

A vein pulsed in Navi's temple.

"You will step on this elevator on the count of three." Navi said softly, her voice piercing and sharp.

Link waited.

"One...two...three...WHY AREN'T YOU ON THE ELEVATOR?"

"You said four!"

"GET ON THE STINKIN' ELEVATOR!" Navi screamed, her cries bouncing across the room.

"Oh fine," Link grumped.


	57. Not Ganny Again!

**Yup...next chapter...yep...**

**(Kerei Kitsune) :D Thank you, hehe. (smiles)**

**(Mr Kyle) Hahaha, I'll use Batman next time...next time...(pats disappointeed Batman on shoulder) Oh, poor better half. He's handicapped now! (sniffle) Yes, I'm Canadian, hahaha. Thanx! You have a good Thanksgiving too! (flinches at the sound of screams)**

**(Krystal Fox) LOL. Don't worry, you're not a Kokiri....or ARE YOU....(shifty eyes) Yes...yes...WOLFOS...YES....INGENIUS!**

**(Inu-Fan-5) Yuk, yuk, yuk. Uh huh. I dunno, I can't be that good...**

**(throws disclaimer into pit filled with starving Wolfos)-Idea thanks to Krystal Fox.**

**Oh yes...I have updated my userpage, Chris-Haliwell, so in case you're interested...and I do believe you will have trouble believing something in it.**

* * *

"See? You're perfectly fine..." Navi groaned.

Link humphed.

"Well, I _could've_ been eaten," Link whined as the elevator slowly moved downwards.

Navi decided not to reply to this.

"This is slow transport," Link complained.

Navi listened silently, not responding.

"And ugh, why is there watermelon bubble gum stuck on walls?"

Navi was growing more annoyed and steamed up. Couldn't Link be quiet for a second?

"And geez, Navi, you need to take a bath. You really stink."

"You too," Navi shot back coldly.

Link rolled his eyes and stood there quietly for a few seconds.

"Can't this thing go any faster?" Link moaned.

_Screech_.

The elevator slowed to a stop. Navi shivered.

"What's happening?" Link shrieked, panicking. "We're STUCK! WE'RE STUCK IN HERE FOREVER! I'LL STARVE! EEEKKK!!! WE'RE TRAPPED!!!! SOMEONE HELP US!!!!"

"Calm down, Link!" Navi said, alarmed. "We just have to keep pushing down. Sit down, jump up and down or something, just keep adding extra weight! The elevator must be faulty!"

Link screeched in fear and started pounding on the elevator with his feet.

"GO DOWN!" Link yelled, stamping harder. "GO DOWN!"

Navi watched all this, amused, and waited patiently.

After a few moments Link gave up and slumped down on the elevator floor.

Instantly, the elevator gave a shudder and started moving back down.

"Might wanna take up a diet, my friend." Navi laughed.

Link glared. "It's not funny, you know. Eighty percent of Kokiri are overweight."

Navi disguised a snigger as a cough and quickly said, "Keep sitting, it'll help speed up the process."

Link gave Navi a dirty look but proceeded to obey.

After a few seconds, a new room came into view. Link looked around and jumped before the elevator completely landed. Navi floated down and watched in horror as the elevator slowly moved back up.

"We're stranded!" Navi yelped.

Link brushed his tunic lightly before looking up and saying, "What?"

"STRANDED, DUMMY! LOOK AT THE ELEVATOR!"

Link turned white and slowly peered up and saw the elevator squeezing back up through the hole.

"Navi," Link said, his voice strained, "we must remain calm."

"And look who this is coming from!"

"But look," Link reasoned comfortably, "after the boss, we get transported out of this place."

"How do you know??" Navi demanded.

"Prima's strategy guide, obviously," Link scoffed, tossing the small book to the side. "You must keep up with the times, my dear."

"Okay, then," Navi said, her voice rising. "I suppose Mr. IKnowEverything knows how to get to the boss, right?"

"Well, um..." Link's face reddened. "See...the page with the instructions on how to get to the boss is...um...missing...ripped out..."

"And why is that?"

"I was drawing for fun," Link confessed, bringing out a piece of paper with messy scribbles on it.

"Good," Navi's voice brightened considerably. "We can still read it."

"Um...." Link looked down at his feet as he held up the paper for Navi to see.

There was a stick figure holding up a tomato and throwing it at-

"Link," Navi said coldly. "Kindly explain why you drew a picture with you throwing a ripe tomato at Princess Zelda?"

"She's...plump?" Link guessed.

Link received a sharp slap on the right cheek after he said that from Navi.

"Don't be so rude!" Navi said sternly. "Now, we have to figure out how to-"

"WOW!"

Link tore away from Navi and started running to a chest decorated with glittering gold and jewels. Navi gasped in amazement, surprised she hadn't noticed it before. Entranced, the fairy slowly started flying towards it, swallowing every beautiful detail.

In the middle of the chest, where there is usually a keyhole, instead, in this treasure chest, was a big fat red ruby, gleaming. There were two golden lions perched on treasure chest, both mouths open.

Link slowly and carefully inserted a finger into one of the lion's mouth, wrapped it around a sharp tooth, pulled, and watched as the brittle gold quickly broke off. There was a small shiny blue sapphire adorned on each lion's head, and Link quickly pulled those two off too.

"What are you doing, Link??" Navi hissed. "Stop stealing the stuff!"

"I can't help it," Link whined, pocketing the jewels. "It's not like I can't get it anywhere else, right?"

In a few minutes, Link had completely stripped the chest of it's beauty. All that was left was the simple plain brown covering and the black locks that were once covered in jewels.

"You didn't have to take it all, did you??" Navi sighed, exasperated.

Link shrugged, and patted his bulging pocket.

"Beautiful. If only this happened every time." Link smiled at the thought.

"Just open the treasure chest, okay?"

Link kicked the chest open and collected the small key. It was like the small ones from before, but green mist swirled around it. There was also a small ruby with a skull emblazoned on it holding it together.

Navi coughed.

"What noxious fumes," Navi wheezed.

Link waved the bad air away and placed it in his pocket with everything else.

"That's going to burst soon, you know." Navi said grimly.

"Oh well," Link shrugged." It's holding it together now, and that's what's important."

For a split second Navi suddenly realized the details of the room. She hadn't really paid attention to it. There were in a small, cramped room with one locked door and the ceiling. That was it. It was pretty plain except for the treasure chest, and the elevator was simply a splotch of brown in the ceiling of white.

Link wandered curiously to the door, feeling the lock. It was a peculiarly huge door, with gold instead of silver chains, and a skull replaced the usual silver lock.

"Freaky," Navi commented.

Link took a deep breath, plucked the shimmering gold key from his pouch and looked ready to insert it into the lock. But the green mist floating around the key suddenly started to move to the hole, making the chains fall down in a useless pile.

Navi gasped in awe.

Link bent down quickly and did a swift check on the chains.

"Not very good gold," Link said, sounding disappointed.

"Put that down, Link." Navi snapped. "We have to defeat the boss."

Link rolled his eyes and watched as the door slid open, revealing a vast hallway carpeted with rich velvet.

"This place is real fancy," Link said sarcastically.

Navi could only nod to Link's words as she flew in to the other side. The door was simple, like the ones they had encountered earlier. Sensing their arrival, the door gave a shudder and moved up.

Link caught up quickly and entered, bracing himself. There was a simple set of stairs spiraling upwards.

"So much suspense," Link muttered. "I can hardly take it."

At the top of the stairs were golden poles and chains blocking the escape of a...victim...

Link cautiously moved through the only empty space and watched in horror as golden spikes popped out of the ground, preventing their escape.

"Just great," Navi murmured.

There were also several paintings on the walls, each depicting of a scene with an odd figure riding on a shadowy dark horse.

"I greet you from the bottom of my heart," a cold voice suddenly rang through the room. "Even though I have no heart."

Link whipped around and spotted a floating horse pawing the air nervously, and the rider made Navi's blood run cold.

Ganondorf.

Link cautiously raised his shield and sword.

"You have been fools to come here," Ganondorf drawled. "This is my domain. Did you believe you could defeat me?"

Link squeaked a small, "yes."

"Well, you were wrong!" Ganondorf yelled, and suddenly galloped off into one of the paintings.

"Oh, Farore, I thought we were going to be killed right then and there." Link said, relieved.

"Oh, don't worry. You will be killed in good time." Ganondorf's voice said mockingly.

Link spun around, looking at each of the paintings.

Navi paled and spotted the small figure on a horse riding through each picture.

Link spotted it too and ran over to it, trying to hit it with arrows. Both of them kept following the picture as it disappeared from one and went to the next. It was tiring. Sometimes they lost him.

After a while, Ganondorf stopped and started to try and gallop out of the picture. Link shrank back and watched in horror as a purple portal surrounded the painting, and Ganondorf's horse started to get back through.

"HIT HIM!" Navi yelled shrilly. "ARROWS! USE ARROWS!"

Link quickly nocked an arrow and it slammed into Ganondorf's horse, causing it to shriek in pain. The horse quickly moved back into the safety of the painting, and things repeated itself.

Except this time they didn't catch him.

Ganondorf galloped out, cackling evilly as Link swiveled around, but it was too late by then. The evil wizard brought out his staff and shot out a burst of dark energy at Link, blasting him off his feet.

"OWWW!" Link growled and tried pelting Ganondorf with arrows, but they bounced off uselessly.

"HIS HORSE! HIT HIS HORSE!" Navi yelled, but it was too late-Ganondorf had disappeared back into a portrait.

Link waited impatiently, but the horse didn't come. He heard the galloping of hooves, but where...

"LINK!"

Link spun around and spotted the horse over him. Ganondorf laughed wickedly, jumped off his floating horse, raised his staff, and brought it crashing down on Link's head.

Navi gasped in horror.

Link swayed, and everything went black.


	58. Link VS Ganny

**Yuppies, next chaptah....**

**(Tristezza) :D I hope it's chocolate chip!**

**(dannyphantomsgf / Yamisgf) Woah as in, "Link's dead?"**

**(Mr Kyle) Lol. Malon is your favourite character? Tee hee. Mine's is...um...(thinks) I don't really know..um.......Link...Zelda...and Malon??? Ah, your better half will have his revenge.**

**(Chris-Haliwell) Lol, I figured that might shock ya. ReAlLy? Perhaps I should update it and REALLY change it. Ho hum. Oh, poor Navi. :D**

**(KrystalFox) Lol, precious little Linky-poo. He'll be all right. (peers down at chapter) At least I think so.**

**(disclaimer is in bandages and one end is torn off because of Wolfos and bandages are tattered and nearly ripped off)**

**Should we feel pity for the disclaimer?**

**NAW.**

**(tosses disclaimer in lava pit in Fire Temple)- Idea thanks to KrystalFox.**

* * *

Link crashed to the floor, his bow and arrows clattering as they rolled across the marble. Link's face was white. Deathly white.

"No!" Navi yelled. "Link! No..."

Navi started to cry, glaring at Ganondorf, who was smirking triumphantly.

"Your stupid partner didn't even last a few minutes." He boasted, twirling his staff between his fingers. "He provided no challenge at all."

Navi wanted to tear at Ganondorf, but it was impossible-she was as light as a feather and he was a fully experienced wizard that could kill her easily.

"Link!" Navi cried out tearfully in a desperate attempt to wake him. "LINK!"

Link didn't move. He really, for once, actually was unconscious.

"He won't wake, you idiot." Ganondorf said, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "The fool has been touched my Staff of Death."

For the first time Navi saw the vile skulls adorning the black staff. There was a putrid scent coming from it.

"Smell it?" Ganondorf asked, his eyes glittering maliciously. "That's the stench of death. There's no escape when you're touched by this."

"No!!!" Navi gasped, flying back blindly, unable to take it in. "Link can't...die...he can't...not yet....noo...LINK!!!!"

Ganondorf paled slightly.

Navi's hopes rised when she saw that white tinge in his cheeks. Praying, she glanced at Link.

Link was stirring.

"THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!" Ganondorf roared. "I TOUCHED HIM WITH MY STAFF! HE CANNOT LIVE AFTER THAT!"

Link, in one weak movement, brought his index finger up and pointed to his neck.

"You hit his neck!" Navi howled in happiness. "YES! THANK YOU, DIN!"

Ganondorf's face turned into one of a sneer. He brought up his staff and prepared to slam it onto Link's head, but Navi flew up and-

"GET OFF ME, YOU BEAST!" Ganondorf boomed angrily as Navi bit into his wrist with disgust on her face. "OBEY ME THIS INSTANT! GET OFF MY WRIST!!"

Ganondorf started swinging his hand back and forth, trying to shake Navi off. Navi whimpered but held on tight. If she was lucky, Ganondorf might fall for her trick.

Link had fully regained consciousness now and was quietly sneaking up on Ganondorf, who was so absorbed in getting Navi off he didn't even notice him.

"Hi-YAH!" Link yelled ferociously and brought his sword down.

Ganondorf screeched in pain and Navi, surprised, accidentally loosened her grip and was immediately swung off.

Navi slowed to a stop and hit the leathery folds of Link's tunic. Link quickly scooped Navi out and put her on top of his hat. The fairy was dazed and was swinging from side to side as Link moved back and forth.

Ganondorf twirled his staff in a circle and a bolt of magical energy shot out at the tip of the skull on top of the staff and went shooting towards Link.

Instinctively, Link swung his sword at the bolt.

Navi flinched, thinking that Link would be fried in an instant.

Instead, the bolt was reflected and zoomed back to Ganondorf, who was caught of guard and was quickly nailed by it.

"Taste of your own medicine," Link growled.

Ganondorf went flying back and hit on of the paintings.

"ENOUGH!" Ganondorf roared, shooting three balls of energy at the same time. Link squeaked and dived for cover.

"Coward!" Navi shouted, even though she didn't mean it. "GET HIM!"

"You're saying I should risk my life and jump straight into a battle with the most evil wizard of time???" Link asked incredulously.

"That's what we came here for!" Navi yelled back.

Link thought about it, brandishing his sword as energy balls bounced all around him.

"Well...I'll do it on one condition..." Link said carefully.

"Can we talk about it later, when we're not assaulted by dark energy???" Navi demanded furiously.

Link shrugged. "Okay."

"Hey,you big ugly pig!" Link taunted, diverting Ganondorf's rage from Navi to him. "Why don't you pick on someone your own size??"

Ganondorf raised his staff and dozens of little balls flew into one big big black mass that was growing.

Link stood there bravely.

"Link!" Navi shouted, trying to bite Ganondorf again, but failing because of his constantly moving hands and feet, "MOVE!"

Ganondorf chuckled. "You should listen to her, you insolent little fool."

Link paled, but stood his ground. "I won't move."

Ganondorf's face broke out into an evil grin.

"That's too bad for you, then." he drawled. "You obviously don't have the brains to listen those who actually do."

The monstrosity that was growing at the top of Ganondorf's staff suddenly flew up, and headed straight for Link.

Link squealed like a little girl and started running around in circles, chased by the ball. Ganondorf cackled evilly.

"HIT IT! HIT IT BACK, LINK!" Navi screamed, panicking.

"HAVE YOU SEEN THE SIZE OF THAT...THING???" Link bellowed, pointing over his shoulder. "YOU'RE SAYING THAT MY PUNY LITTLE SWORD CAN DEFLECT THAT????"

Navi searched desperately for a weak spot, but she saw none...but...words that her mother once told her suddenly floated through her mind.

"Do not look for the weak, but instead the strong..." her mother had told her.

Of course! Ganondorf didn't have any weak points, but what was his strong points?

The staff.

"KNOCK THE STAFF OUT OF HIS HANDS, LINK!" Navi yelled.

Link screamed back, "Do you think I can???" while wringing his hands in the air. Ganondorf simply floated there in the middle of it, laughing in amusement and waiting for Link to get tired. His held his staff loosely in his right hand.

"I'll just have to do this myself, then." Navi murmured, shaking at the very thought of her goal.

The fairy backed up as far as she could go, aimed for Ganondorf's hand, and flew like the wind, beating her wings furiously, gaining speed.

Ganondorf was too absorbed in Link's screaming he didn't notice Navi, this time, zooming behing him. Another weak point there, too. He was oblivious to a lot of things.

Link squeaked and frantically twisted his head back, spotting the black ball not to far from him. But miraculously, Link didn't show any signs of slowing down, and Ganondorf was losing interest, raising his staff slightly.

"You are lasting longer than I thought," he hissed. "I should kill you now."

Just as he opened his mouth to shout an incantation, Navi slammed into his right hand, knocking the staff right out of his hands. The ball suddenly stopped and hovered in the air, stationary. Ganondorf howled in fury and punched Navi all the way to the wall. Navi groaned as she slid down, the pain almost unbearable. Link gasped and made a motion to help her, but stopped when he saw the staff, a few feet away from him.

"No," Ganondorf hissed without realising it.

Link smiled triumphantly and pounced, grabbing the staff in one hand.

Navi managed to open one eye, saw Link with the staff, and thought only one word.

Good.

Link scrambled to his feet, holding the staff proudly in one hand.

"Navi, how do I use this thing??" Link hissed to the fallen fairy.

Navi's hopes crumbled into little pieces.

"Just swing it or something," Navi mumbled incoherently, her head still dizzy.

"Okay," Link replied timidly. "But if I die it's your fault."

Link raised the staff and brought it crashing down on Ganondorf, who floated there, stunned.

"_OHHHHHHHH_!'

Ganondorf started hopping up on down, squeaking in pain.

"You hit my toe!" he cried out. "MY TOE! That's just EVIL."

"Sorry," Link said apologetically. "You gotta understand, man, I just gotta kill you because of some weirdo sage. You get me?"

Ganondorf nodded sympathtically. "Oh, dude, like, I so totally get you. Here, have another free shot."

"Thanks, my man, you totally, like, rock."

"Peace out, man." Ganondorf waved as the staff crashed down on him again, making his image look slightly fuzzy around the edges.

Navi gaped at Link and Ganondorf exchanging greetings like they were some old friends just getting together again.

"Ow, that hurt, dude. Hit me round at the shoulders-ah, that's much better. Not the arm, eh? I got a bruise from tennis last week. Some insane guy tried to save the sage, and we kept hittin' the bolt back and forth...well, anyways, I think I gotta die right now, dude."

"Okay, man. Nice chattin' to you."

Link hi-fived Ganondorf's hand, gave him the peace sign, and watched as Ganondorf dissolved into thin air.

"That was easy," Link commented. "And he wasn't such a bad guy, after all."

Navi was at a complete loss of words.

Link didn't notice Navi's blank look and glanced at a floating rupee that was about the size of a fully grown man and clapped excitedly.

"Oooh, maybe I can exchange that for smaller rupees!" Link yelped happily, practically hopping into the rupee.

Navi snapped out of it and flew in with Link, still slightly dazed.

"How....did you do that?" Navi asked hoarsely.

"Do what?" Link said cheerfully, waiting as the rupee floated up in the air.

"Do _what_?" Navi sputtered. "I quote thee, "You're saying I should risk my life and jump straight into a battle with the most evil wizard of time?" Yep, I pretty much thought YOU WOULDN'T MAKE FRIENDS WITH THE MOST "EVIL WIZARD OF TIME"."

"Oh, he's not the real Ganondorf." Link said casually.

"WHAT?"

"Yeah, his mask accidentally slipped off when I was shaking his hand. Cool mask."

Navi shook her head in amazement.

"HE'S STILL AN EVIL PERSON WHO TRAPPED A SAGE!"

"Oh well," Link shrugged. "The sage is probrably a really nasty person that he had to kidnap. Wonder where Saria is."

For a split second, all of Navi's thoughts wandered away. Where _was _Saria?

A flash of bright light suddenly blinded them for a few moments, and finally, it cleared.

"We're back in the Chamber of Sages, Link!" Navi exclaimed.

"Saria!"


	59. The Deku Tree Sprout

**Dum dee dum dee...next chappie...by the way, who has played Majora's Mask?**

**(The Other Link) I'm glad you enjoy my story, lol. Hah...ha...ha...well, maybe I can look into your mind...but I never reveal my secrets...MUAHAHAHAHA...**

**(Nemesis, Avatar of the Unreal) :D:D:D Lol, tell Roy that I'd like two more cookies, crispy and fresh from the oven. Ow. (sympathetic look) Another Cucco attack, eh? LOL. If Roy is dressed completely in green, then...(eyes Sebat's frying pan)...well, he's in for a bit of pain...**

**(Chris-Haliwell) Ha...ha...ha...my age is secret, lol. My bio will tell you, and I'll leave only one clue. My age is double digits, and yet I'm younger than you. He...he...hee...Kirby? Pink floating guy? :) He's a good super smash brothers character, but I play Link, lol.**

**(SilentVamp) :D Yep, I was re-reading my chapters and I read the surfer chapter and..well, yeah, lol. **

**(dannyphantomsgf / Yamisgf) Lol, I get the feeling you like this story, haha.**

**(Mr Kyle) :) Wow, change of sympathy now. (gives Mr Kyle slice of cake) Oooh, Twinrova. I hated that boss, eugh..it was so hard for me to reflect their attacks. DARN.**

**(Cat of Darkness) (strokes imaginary beard) Maybe, I don't really know where to insert that in the story.**

**(Kyrstal Fox) Lol. Linkie-poo will live and prosper! At least I think. For now. MUAHAHAHAHAHA....ahh, that's a good idea, I'll use it for the next chapter.**

**(Tristezza) Oh, good. (smacks lips) I love chocolate chip cookies. Care to give me some milk along with it? :D**

* * *

"Saria!"

Link's cry was quickly swallowed by the darkness as the Kokiri smiled at him, standing on the green platform with the odd symbol they had seen at the beginning of the temple.

"Link." Saria sighed softly. "I knew you'd come save me."

Link beamed.

"Great, because, I needed to talk to you about something."

"What?" Saria asked, bewildered.

"Well, you see, my collection of junk has been neglected all these few years," Link explained patiently. "Have you been checking up on it? Dusting it? Keeping all those nasty little bugs that eat away at it?"

Saria's face turned to stone.

Navi had this bad feeling and gazed at Link's right cheek with pity.

"_Owwww_!" Link cried out. "I save you and this is what I get??"

"YOU SAVED ME TO TALK ABOUT SOME SILLY JUNKY COLLECTION?" Saria roared, seeming to grow bigger every moment.

Link shuffled around nervously. "Erm, well..."

"So, um, what were you doing in the temple, anyways?" Navi asked quickly, diverting Saria's attention from Link.

"Not gonna work, Navi. I'm still going to yell at him after this."

Link whimpered and all of a sudden it seemed like Saria was the older one.

"But I'll answer your question anyways. I went back to the temple to save the forest, or what was left of it, anyways. I got locked in though, by some weird spell. I kept winding up in the same room, and finally I met the Wolfos, and..."

Saria shivered.

"They just had me cornered," Saria sighed.

"So how come..."

"I was lucky. There were some vines up by the east wall, and I just jumped like mad and fled. I made it and started climbing up, but the Wolfos had caught up with me and were clawing like crazy."

Navi glanced pitifully at Saria's feet, which had a few cuts and scratches on them.

"Yes," Saria smiled weakly as she noticed Navi's stare. "I think I'll need a pair of new shoes."

"But..." Link protested, something tugging at his features. "Who...why...why is the forest in such a horrible state?"

"Kokiri Forest draws it's beauty and power from the Deku Tree," Saria explained. "And the Deku Tree receives energy from the Forest Temple. And since the Deku Tree died, the magic stopped flowing, and the portal to the other world was completely open to outsiders."

Navi nodded.

"You would've of had an extremely long journey to cross the bridge if the Deku Tree was still alive," Saria added. "The bridge would never get any shorter. Anyways, the forest fell into a horrible condition when the Deku Tree died, and the only revival spell that would work had to cast by the Forest Sage, but the Sage was currently locked up and couldn't do a thing."

"Who's the sage?" Link asked stupidly.

"C'mon, Link, isn't it obvious?" Navi teased, punching him on the shoulder. "It all fits."

Link looked blankly at Navi. "Who is it?"

Saria rolled her eyes. "No use trying, Navi. One thing I've learnt over the years is that a dummy is always a dummy."

"But I'm a hero," Link boasted, his chest puffing up.

"A pretty dumb one, too." Saria laughed. "Anyways, Navi will tell you who the sage is later. For now, here, take this."

The Kokiri raised her arms up in the air and closed her eyes. A flash of green light shone and blinded Link momentarily, and finally the light faded.

Saria was holding a green medallion similar to Rauru's, except the symbol was different.

"Here," she said gently. "Take it and keep it close to your heart forever."

Link reluctantly outstretched one hand, closed his fingers around the warm surface of the medallion and held it back, admiring the metal.

"It's not worth as much as Rauru's," Link concluded, looking disappointed. "But it's still worth a good deal, I guess."

"Make sure he doesn't sell it," Saria said to Navi, her eyebrows moving up.

"Of course," Navi agreed.

Link, for some weird reason, placed the medallion on where his heart would be and waited awkwardly.

"I didn't really mean you had to put it on your heart, Link." Saria said dully.

"Uh...um...who said I was???" Link said, a fake smile stretched on his lips. "Just...um...getting to know this little guy."

To prove his point, Link rubbed the medallion fondly.

"Whatever," Saria sighed. "Your next stop is Death Mountain. Go to Goron City, and talk to the little Goron there. He will fill you in on your next mission."

"What's his na-"Link began to ask, but the rupee he was enclosed in started to rise up, and light flooded through again, making him squint down at the green figure.

Navi smiled and waved down at Saria for the last time.

**Outside in Front of Where the Deku Tree is...**

"Wow..." Link had his face pressed against the glass of the rupee and was staring outside as they floated down from the sky. "It's pretty."

Navi couldn't help nodding in agreement as she gazed at the trees. It was incredible-every flower started blooming, the grass was healthy and green, and most important of all, the monsters started dying, like they were withering from the lack of evil.

Finally, the rupee touched the ground gently and shattered into one tiny little blue one. Link scooped it up eagerly and brushed his tunic.

"We didn't land flat on our faces, Navi!" Link cheered excitedly. "Woo hoo! This rupee is a good luck charm!"

"Hello, there." A familiar yet squeaky voice greeted.

Link turned around, spotted the little sapling on the ground talking to him, and fell over, scrambling away.

"It's a talking tree!" Link screamed, pointing to it.

"You spent your childhood in a forest with a talking...tree...that...was...protecting it," Navi said though clenched teeth. "How...can...you...be...scared...of...it?"

Link shrugged and stopped screaming.

"I apologize if I gave you a fright," the sapling said politely. "I am the Deku Tree sprout, and I've come to take my father's place."

Link opened his mouth to ask something, thought of it, and then closed his mouth again.

"I have to reveal something to you, Link." The sapling continued mysteriously. "Please understand that it is nothing to be ashamed of..."

Link looked tense as he motioned for him to go on.

"Link, of Kokiri Forest..." the sapling said slowly in a booming voice. "You are not a Kokiri. You are a Hylian."

Link's lower lip slowly, very slowly, started inching it's way down.

Navi was stunned.

"Not a Kokiri?" Navi sputtered. "But...but...why..."

"His mother died in the earlier wars of Hyrule," the sapling explained. "She crawled here to the Lost Woods and collapsed of fever. A Kokiri found her, and a crying baby. The Kokiri took the child to the Deku Tree, and the Deku Tree decided to raise him as a Kokiri because he knew that in the future the Hylian would have a powerful impact on Hyrule."

Link was still frozen in the same position, gaping at the sapling.

"It is hard to believe," he said sympathetically. "I understand, but you must set back onto your journey."

Link didn't move.

"Who was the Kokiri?" Navi asked quickly.

"Saria."

"What??? So she _knew _the entire time that Link was a Hylian, and she was still his friend?"

"Well, you know, Saria is very much different from the other Kokiri."

Link moved his hand, rubbed his cheek gingerly and muttered, "That's for sure."

"Did anybody else know?" Navi asked.

"Only Saria and another."

Link groaned. "No prizes for guessing who."

"Mido." Navi sighed. "That little rat, no wonder he hates Link so much. How did he find out? How come he didn't tell the rest of the Kokiri?"

"He snuck in one time into my father's grove and saw Link, a mere toddler. The Deku Tree was taking care of him till he could pass off as a Kokiri and blend with the other children. He forbade Mido to tell anyone, upon banishment from the forest."

"Why didn't he tell everyone after the Deku Tree died?"

The sapling laughed.

"Believe me, he tried." The sapling chuckled. "Nobody believed him, of course. Link, a Hylian?"

Navi just stared at the sapling in amazement.

"C'mon, Navi, let's go." Link said quietly, his shoulders drooping slightly.

Navi struggled to regain her composure and waved at the sapling, nodding her head.

"Farewell, Navi and Link. Good will always conquer evil, as you will. Take courage and hope, and destroy the evil that haunt-"

Link stopped the sapling with a hand. "Just say goodbye."

"Goodbye," the sapling squeaked as Link placed a hand on his scabbard.

"Good. See, you're learning already!" Link chortled, and started running off.

"Where do we suggest we go?"

"I dunno. I get this itch to visit Francis, you know?"

"Francis?" Navi asked, surprised. "Why ever do you want to visit Francis?"

Link shrugged.

"Oh, maybe get a little advice."

"Okay," Navi said, a bit confused. "Let's go visit him, then."


	60. Stupid Horse!

**I'm sorry, I've been a bad writer. I haven't been updating often, have I? slaps self Woo hoo! 209 reviews! I fufilled my dream! fanfare And chapter 60...wow, I've gone pretty far, haven't I? Is there a story that's longer than mine? AND I FORGOT THE DISCLAIMER AGAIN. I AM SERIOUSLY LOSING MY MEMORY. DISCLAIMER, YOU ARE IN IT BIG TIME!**

**(The Other Link) I'm glad you enjoy my stories. Have you caught up yet? :P**

**(Chris-Haliwell) :P Hehehe. 60 chapters and counting, so I think I'd finish at about...200 chapters? (shrugs)**

**(Nessa-Cuthalain) I like your name, hehe. :D Ooh, good one!**

**(Tristezza) Mmm! I like this! Give me some gummy bears and you got another chapter coming right up! :)**

**(Bikabyte) Yes, yes, I wonder too. 00 Hmm...I wish I could do a sneak preview. Haha.**

**(hey i read ur profile. r u really that young. oh and actually 82.5 of kokiri are overweiht, so u shud fix that** **) That is one looonnnng name, if you ask me. Lol, 82.5? Link's offended now. I think you better run.**

**(moonlight chan) :P Perhaps you should re-read some of the chapters.**

**(bublz528-shame on thou oh grasshopper!! update!! I am dying here!!) (whimpers) I apologize, sensei. (scrambles away) Really, I am!**

**(Chocolate Starfish) :P Thanks. You gonna write any stories?**

**(Mr Kyle) Lol. With extra icing and a red cherry on top. I know, I'm losing my memory more and more....(sighs) the disclaimer will pay for my mistakes!**

**(Krystal Fox) Lol. :P I know, sigh. I WILL AVENGE US ALL!**

**(Superman punched disclaimer over to the Other Link, which bites it in half and tosses it to Krystal Fox who replaces dummy with it) Idea thanks to- The Other Link, Mr Kyle, and Krystal Fox.**

**COMBO!!!**

**(burns disclaimer over fire and then feeds to Volvagia)**

* * *

Link stumbled across the bridge to the outside world and sucked in some fresh air.

"The forest air stank so bad," Link complained, waving the air to his nostrils. "Farore knows what happened to it."

Navi shrugged. "I don't expect Deku Babas to smell that good. Anyways, if you want to go to Francis, you might want to take Epona."

"Good thinking," Link said, taking out his ocarina. "Now...how did Epona's song go again?"

Navi sighed and hummed the song once.

Link flinched. "Do you normally sing that bad?"

Navi's reply was a swift slap on Link's cheek and a glare.

Link tried to ignore the stinging and started to play. There was a whinny in the distance, and then sound of hooves.

Navi flew up high and glanced across the horizon and spotted the brown colt galloping towards them.

"Epona!" Link welcomed joyously, trying to mount the horse, but failing. Epona snorted and reared back.

"She's unsure," Navi automatically said, her nose wrinkling. "You have to earn her trust again."

"But I played the song!" Link complained, crossing his arms.

Navi shrugged. "She needs Malon in her presence, I suppose."

Link cautiously approached Epona, taking slow, careful steps. Epona froze and for a split second, there was complete silence except for the crunching of the grass as Link touched it with his boots.

"Nice horse..." Link murmured, his hand reaching out for Epona's saddle.

Epona reared back and her front legs moved around wildly, nearly knocking Link down.

Link ducked as a hoof went soaring over his head.

"NOT A NICE HORSE!" he yelled as he got pummeled in the stomach. "BAD DOG!"

Navi didn't even care to correct him and instead started to softly sing a lullaby to calm Epona down.

Link dodged another hit and backed off. Epona trotted forwards, anger burning fiercely in her eyes.

Navi hummed louder.

"Good idea, Navi!" Link yelled shrilly.

Navi glowed with pleasure for a few moments, until-

"Make her deaf with your singing!"

"Get him, Epona!" Navi snarled.

Epona stopped and glanced at Navi, as if unsure why Navi wanted to hurt her own partner.

"Go on, you stupid horse!" Navi yelled.

All traces of doubt gone, Epona reared back again and charged. Link let out a small, "Uh oh." and started running to Kakariko, throwing dirty glares at Navi.

Navi smiled, coughing slightly as she floated slowly towards the bridge. Who knew horses could be so entertaining?

**Five Hours Later**

"Link, you can come down now." Navi called out, still amused.

Link had scrambled up a tree and was now clinging to the branches fearfully. Epona had slammed into the tree more than once, and Link yelped when the tree shuddered, leaves falling down.

"This is your fault! I wouldn't be stuck up here in the first place if it wasn't for you!" Link yelled.

Navi shrugged. "Hey, you started it."

"I will like, so, like, get back at you, like, totally!" Link screamed as the tree shook once more. "This is like, so, like, uncool! Like, oh my gosh, like, you totally, aren't going to be, like, popular! How long do you like, plan to like, keep me here?"

Navi struggled to keep laughter escaping.

"As long as it takes for you to apologize."

"For what?"

"Hold on a second," Navi said, thinking. "Ah, here it is!"

A big fat pink notebook popped up in front of Navi, it's pages long and overflowing. Neat, small, printing filled all of the pages, and Navi smiled.

"Now, I just need my..."

A big pair of oversized reading glasses suddenly popped up beside the notebook and fitted itself on Navi's eyes.

"Now...you have to apologize to me for...humiliating in front of public, hitting me on the head, threats, insults-oh, that's a really big one, nearly killing me-"

"That wasn't my fault!" Link protested.

Navi ignored him and continued, flipping the page.

"Let's see, oh yes, risking my life, lying, dragging me into messes..."

Navi droned on and on for the entire night. Link sighed. He couldn't fall asleep because if he dozed off, his grip would loosen, and then...but if did stay awake, he would have to listen to Navi's constant blabbering. Right now he almost preferred being attacked by Epona than listening to Navi.

"Done!" Navi said proudly. "Now, all you have to do is say "Sorry" 1, 929 times!"

Link collapsed and moaned, letting his grip on the branch loosen and let him plummet to the ground.

Navi grimaced as Epona raced towards Link fallen body and...nudged it gently?

"Huh?" Link groaned as he felt something wet on his cheek. "EW! EPONA, GET OFF OF ME!"

The horse snorted dangerously.

"Um, never mind, Epona," Link said worriedly, "You can lick me all you want."

"EPONA!" a high-pitched voice called out.

Link heard the voice, scrambled to his feet in seconds and ran like the wind to the steps leading to Kakariko.

Navi turned around and paled. Malon was there, holding a basket with some carrots and turnips.

"What's wrong with that guy?" Malon asked incredulously.

Navi shrugged. "Don't ask me. I'm his partner but I still don't know."

Malon scowled.

"What's he done to my horse?"

"More like, what's your horse done to him?" Navi muttered under her breath.

"Hmm?" Malon asked, stroking Epona's mane. Epona had suddenly quieted down and acted like a sweet little horse with no intention of hurting someone.

"Nothing," Navi murmured. "What are you doing here, anyways?"

"I'm on the way to Kakariko," Malon motioned to her basket. "I'm visiting my father. I'm bringing him some food, too. Well, if you don't mind, I better get going."

Malon swung one leg over Epona's saddle and Navi watched as they trotted away peacefully toward Kakariko.

"Oh, by the goddesses, Link..."

**Kakariko Village**

"Passport?" the guard grunted, his hand outstretched. Link fumbled around in his pouch for a bit and brought out the crumpled piece of paper.

"Hmm," the guard snorted in laughter. "Hero of-"

Link snatched the paper away before he could complete his sentence and marched through, nose in the air.

"Link!"

Link whipped around and spotted Navi, looking weary and tired.

"Hi, Navi." Link said dully, glaring at the guard who was trying but failing to hide a big grin.

"I don't think we have to go to Francis," Navi confided. "I mean, he can't really help us. Let's just go to Goron City, Link."

Link paled and rubbed his back gingerly.

"Do I have to break my back today? I still have some bruises from several years ago from those Goron hugs."

Navi grimaced. "I wonder where Azarn and the others went. C'mon, let's get going."

Link sighed.

"Is that-"

A rough, hoarse voice traveled through the wind in a piercing whistle and Link flinched and slowly turned around.

"Navi?" Link squeaked. "I think it's best we run."

A man stepped out from a shop, his mouth bulging, a bag of bread held tightly in his hand. His eyes narrowed as they focused on Link and Navi.

Almost immediately a guard came to their rescue and stood in front of them.

"Go away, Sebat." The guard ordered firmly, holding a hand out. "You've terrorized enough visitors already. The villagers have been discussing whether they should kick you out. You have been a menace to society for too long."

Sebat's fingers curled into fists and he gave Link and Navi a withering glare before he stomped away.

"Thank you," Link said, relieved, forgetting his hatred of the guards. "Do you have any news of Death Mountain?"

The guard pondered for a few seconds. "No. There has been some rumours floating around, though, that the evil wizard Ganondorf has cast a revival spell on that hideous dragon."

Link shuddered. Hideous dragon?

"Thank you once more," Navi said gratefully. "Let's go, Link."

The pair trotted thoughtfully to the trail, where, Navi noticed, there was no guard standing by and no gate.

But they had no idea they were being closely watched by an unknown enemy.


	61. Going Back Up the Trail

**Okay dokey next chapter!**

**(Inu-Fan-5) :P I'm glad you like it so far. Oooh, GREAT idea!**

**(Mr Kyle) Lol. Batman is comin' up! Oh, sigh. Bad better half! Bad! (runs away with better half chasing)**

**(Chris-Haliwell) :D Wow, 30? That's a lonnng time. Maybe in a year or so.**

**(Kerei Kitsune) :P Volvagia the managa? Nope, sorry. But yes, in a scary way, he is cute. :P**

**(Chocolate Starfish) :) Hahaha, nasty lil' cliffies. Oooh, you have a story on the way? I can't wait to read it! :P**

**(Nessa-Cuthalian) :D And I thought I overdid it when I mentioned the tomatoes again. :) I love your idea! Disclaimer is so going down!**

**(Batman kicks disclaimer which flies over to a room with evil Tatl clones, and after being attacked, disclaimer is fed to group of hungry ogres then put in a paper shredder)Idea thanks to-Inu-Fan-5, Mr Kyle, and Nessa-Cuthalian)**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Link glanced nervously behind him. Navi looked at Link, agitated.

"You've been looking behind us for ages," Navi grumbled. "What's the matter?"

"Sebat," Link replied in a voice barely above a whisper. "He's watching us, isn't he?"

Navi pushed Link's shoulder playfully.

"What are you talking about?" she demanded. "Sebat isn't watching us..."

But even so, the fairy looked up quickly at the watch tower hoping that man was watching them with binoculars. Thankfully, she spotted no one.

"Nobody, see?"

Link shivered.

"Sebat has the habit of popping up when you least expect him." Link said mysteriously.

Navi stared at the watchtower for a few more seconds before snorting, "Bah!"

Link looked ahead uneasily, his fingers curled tightly around the hilt of his sword as if Sebat might jump out and suddenly attack.

"Calm down, Link." Navi said soothingly, but she glanced left and right every few minutes, unsure.

"Eeek!!!!" Link jumped ahead and fell flat on his face, crying out, "SEBAT!"

Navi immediately flew up high and spotted a confused looking Goron, who's fingers were in the air as if he touched Link on the back. Link scrambled to his feet, brandishing his sword. The poor Goron yelped and backed off, his palms raised in a sign of peace.

"Oh...a Goron..." Link sighed in relief.

"No! Not a Goron!" the Goron seemed to shout. His whole skin fell off and Navi's nose wrinkled. There was glue on every inch of the inside of the costume. It fell off to reveal none other than Sebat!

Link squealed and started running up the trail, his arms flailing wildly in the air. Navi floated up high, secure and safe.

"NO GUARDS TO HELP YOU NOW, EH?" Sebat roared. He started to chase Link, wringing some tomatoes and potatoes this time. "I bring new weapons!"

Link felt something wet and squishy hit the back of his tunic. Dreading to know what it was, Link ignored it and kept running. Then he felt something hard slam into his foot.

"OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH, MISTER!" Link bellowed as he wiped away the tomato and picked up the potato with menace.

Sebat smirked and charged, letting out a wild war cry.

"This is getting too dramatic," Navi muttered, sighing.

The potato in Link's hand started to fly through the air and hit-

"ARGHHH!" Sebat screamed as the potato hit his nose. "Mah dose is doderly doken! I'll due da!"

Then he ran off crying, rubbing his nose gingerly.

"I think that's rid us of that stalker," Link smiled and started trotting up the path again. "Anyways, he won't be as dangerous now."

He tossed his head back and let out a victorious laugh. Navi rolled her eyes and shivered. It had suddenly gotten colder. And it might've been the fairy's imagination, but...why was it suddenly darker?

Navi glanced sideways and heard some chittering.

"Link, I don't think the Tektites moved away during seven years, you know." Navi squeaked.

Link's face paled as he slowly turned his head left. There were five Tektites in total, their ruby red eyes gleaming with bloodthirst.

"I don't want to see what's in the right." Link moaned. Navi took a short glance and sucked in some breath. A horde of Tektites slowly approaching.

"Wait, what did Azarn say again?" Navi asked, hope growing.

"The Tektites are easy to scare!" Link exclaimed.

Navi's sad face broke into a big watery smile.

"RARRRRRR!" Navi bellowed in a voice that did not sound like her own. Her cry echoed for thousands of miles. All the Tektites shrieked in horror and fled, hopping on top of each other in their frenzy to escape.

"Eeek!" Link screamed, starting to run back in the direction of Kakariko Village. "Run, Navi! There's a monster!"

Navi shook her head in disappointment, sighing.

"That was me, Link." Navi said dully, her nose wrinkling.

Link froze, his foot in the air, ready to take another step. His shoulders seemed to resume their relaxed position as he took a quick look right and left.

"Oh, I knew that." Link said shakily, still white. "You know...just trying-"

"To fool me, right?" Navi finished, rolling her eyes.

"How'd you know?" Link asked, looking truly amazed. "Can you see the future? Read minds-"

"No-" Navi began.

"Cool!" Link nearly shouted excitedly. "What's going to happen in the future? Huh? Tell me!"

"Link," Navi said through gritted teeth, "I cannot tell the futu-"

"So you just don't want to tell me, do you?" Link said harshly, glaring. "Not worthy of your skill in fortune telling?"

Navi sighed.

"Link, I CAN'T tell the future!" Navi yelled loudly, making Link flinch. "I just...guessed!"

"Humph, fine. Be that way." Link grumbled. "Just lie to me, why don't you?"

Navi gave an exasperated sigh as she floated forwards.

Link started to jog back on the trail, continually begging Navi to tell him.

"O great seer, please bless me with thy fortunes." Link pleaded.

"Where'd you learn all those words?" Navi asked, dumbfounded.

Link shrugged.

"What do those words mean? I just checked it on Webster's 1,433 page dictionary."

Link rummaged in his pocket for a few seconds, and a huge block of a book nearly fell on the ground as Link staggered with its weight.

"It's a bit heavy," Link panted. "But it's really useful sometimes. I just picked some really complicated and weird words."

"I can't believe all of this junk fits in your pocket." Navi said incredulously. "It's a miracle the sewing hasn't broken yet."

"It's because it's my little baby." Link cooed, patting his pouch. "It's special. It'll NEVER break."

As if on cue, the sewing suddenly ripped apart and the cloth fell to pieces, brilliant rupees of every colour falling out.

"It'll never break?" Navi said sarcastically as Link frantically tried to repair his pocket.

"Noooo..." Link moaned. "My pocket!"

Navi sighed. "Here, give me the cloth."

Link handed Navi the cloth that held all the rupees and junk in the pocket. The fairy floated over to the bare spot and examined the stiches carefully.

"It can be repaired." Navi said finally.

"Oh, thank Din!" Link sighed in relief.

"It'll take some time," Navi boomed, feeling like a doctor talking to a mother. "But after the operation he'll be fine."

"Oh, good." Link wiped his brow with a hankerchief. "Thank you, doctor."

"No problem," Navi replied in deep bass tones as she set off to work. Carefully with the fairy's teeth, she weaved the thread back through. It was a tiring job, and Navi resisted the urge to cry out in frustration many times. Finally, after a few hours, it was done.

"Thanks, Navi." Link said, watching closely as she finished the last stitch. Then he started piling all the rupees back in.

"Wait, Link, what're you doing?" Navi asked, alarmed. "The pouch will break again!"

Link reluctantly took all the rupees out.

"But my babies are getting cold!" he whined.

"You need another spot to put them in." Navi replied calmly.

"Oh, fine. But where?"

Navi looked down at the ground. "Well..."

**Thirty Minutes Later**

"There, done." Link said, throwing the last shovelful of dirt to the side. There was now a huge hole beside them in the trail. Navi had insisted that they place the rupees there.

"Good." Navi said, who had been observing the whole time. "Now, put your rupees in."

Link reached into the pile of junk and pulled out some white cloth. Then he placed it as a soft blanket in the hole before pouring in all the rupees.

"Do I have to cover them up?" Link complained.

"Unless you want someone to steal them," Navi replied grimly.

Link shuddered in reply and carefully started to fill the hole up. Then he patted it a few times for good measure and marked a small x in the dirt.

"Great, we lost a lot of time." Navi groaned as she looked up into the night. Link shrugged.

"We're not in a hurry," Link offered. "Let's get going. We're close to Goron City, anyways."

"Link..." Navi said slowly, "did you realize we're re-visiting the places we did when you were a child?"

Link thought about it for a few seconds.

"That means we have to go and meet Ruto again!" Link shrieked, looking horrified.

"Calm down." Navi said soothingly, although that was in her nightmares too. "Not till we beat this boss, 'member?"

Link nodded shakily and sucked in a deep breath. They were nearing Goron City. The sky had darkened considerably, and Navi swore it wasn't her imagination, but she could hear it so vividly.

Whispers.

Dark, tormenting whispers that haunted Navi's mind and nearly drove her crazy. Then she heard something worse.

A sob. A scared, fearful sob. And it seemed to emit from a small Goron child. It became louder and louder in the silence. Then cries of fear tried to smother the sob, but the sob remained the base of the sound.

"I can't take it anymore!" Navi yelled out loud.

Link looked at Navi in amazement. "Take what?"

"Nothing," Navi mumbled, embarrassed. Link couldn't hear the cries?

"You saw into the future, didn't you?" Link gasped in awe before Navi could protest.

"I DIDN'T! I CAN'T!" Navi roared in fury. "I just heard something..." Navi's voice trailed off.

"Me too," Link admitted. "I thought I was going crazy."

They both fell silent once more. Cries and echoes became louder and clearer. Navi could make out a frightful conversation.

_"Run, son!" a deep and familiar voice boomed, fading the distance._

_"Noooo! Dad!" a small voice, a child's voice screamed._

_"I'll be back. Take care of yourself. The shopkeeper will help you."_

_"Father! Don't leave me!"_

_"You must understand, child. I will return. Perhaps not in body form, but in spirit. I will guide you! Be brave, my son! Be brave!"_

There was a chilling scream of fear and anger. Finally, the echoes faded away.

Link shuddered.

"There's Goron City," Navi said in a voice barely above a whisper, pointing to a dark entrance up ahead.

A deep, menacing cry suddenly sounded out. Both of them flinched.

_"Come in."_

With Link's fingers curled tightly on the hilt of the Master Sword, they walked in.


	62. Join my Fan Club!

**Been about three days since I last updated, right? I'm thinking about devisin' a update schedule, it's just I can't get my lazy butt to work.**

**(Krystal Fox) Ouch....(flinches) Epona's hooves leave a nasty mark, they do. Hahaha, Volvagia'll burn Linky Poo into a crisp! (gasps) **

**(The Other Link) Hahahaha, you in the story? But if I do other will want to be in it too, lol. Isn't the disclaimer enough? You could be disclaimer patrol chief or somethin', haha. Hmm...you're willing to risk your life as Sebat's victim? Wow, you really DO want to be in this story, :P**

**(Moonlight Chan) (whimpers) Don't murder me or my reviewers! Hehe, Francis is the guy they met in Hyrule Market seven years ago and in the present. Is that a peom? Didja make it yourself?**

**(hey i read ur profile. r u really that young. oh and actually 82.5 of kokiri are overweiht, so u shud fix that ) yea, that is a long name...actually it's me ur loyal sensei...HA HA HA!!! I HAVE BEEN MENTIONED TWICE IN ONE INTRO!!! SURELY NOW THE WORLD IS) SENSEI??? A clever disguise...I must applaude you...have you been pretending to be my other anonymous reviewers as well? Hahaha...my first few chapters didn't have any cliffies at all...**

**(Nessa-Cuthalian) Hahaha, it's the cliffhanger of doom! :P can marry Mikau in Majora's Mask...but the female singer of the Indigos won't be so happy...**

**(Chocolate Starfish) Perhaps I should do a chapter explaining? What do you think? :D Is it up yet?**

**(Tristezza) (eats entire bag of gummy bears in seconds) Hmm...what else am I craving? Muffins! MUFFINS!!!! :D**

**(The Other Link) Haha...the seriousness creeps up silently...and then...IT POUNCES! :P Lol, hey "Nem". Hehe, it seems you guys caught up finally. :) Mmm, a wonderful idea! (cackles evilly)**

**(Mr Kyle) Wow, I just don't know who to feel pity for. Better half-maybe, everybody gangs up against him. But you get injuries and all that. Hm...mentally or physically? I DON'T KNOW....(sob) Okay, forget it. (splits cookie in half) You can have half, and your better half will have half. **

**(jj-monster) Lol, what part of the game are you on?**

**(Crimson-Ranger) Hahahaha, how long did it take for you to read all the chapters?**

**(bublz528) Hahaha, that is weird. I wonder why it happens every month. (scratches chin)**

**(LadyButtercup) :P Thanx for the compliments. (bows) Yes, Majora's Mask is quite fun, but in my opinion, Ocarina of Time is better. The time limit gets real annoying sometimes, and how you have to solve character's problems again. But there's a cool song you learn later on in the fourth temple, it's called Elegy of Emptiness, and it creates a frozen clone of what form you are currently in.**

**(Nemesis lights up disclaimer and blows it to shreds and then the Hulk eats the remains)**

**XD**

* * *

It was quiet. The wind rustled old and yellowed bits of paper with advertisements on them barely sticking to the wall. 

"Hello?" Navi called out, her cry bouncing off the walls. There was no reply.

"This place gives me the creeps," Link shuddered.

It was impossible to think that several years ago this city was teeming with life, with joyous and happy Gorons. It was now a complete ghost town.

"Is anyone here???" Navi tried again.

"HELLO???" Link screamed.

"Link!" Navi hissed. "You might wake up someone that we don't know...or something..."

Link rolled his eyes but fell silent.

"Let's go down to the bottom floor," Navi advised, pointing to a set of stairs.

"ARRRRUGGGH! Long live the Gorons!" a squeaky voice roared as a long set of arms curled around Link's neck.

"Aaahhh! Navi!" Link shrieked as the arms pulled him back.

Navi spotted a blur of brown as what seemed to be a young Goron child wrestling Link.

"Hey! Stop!" Navi protested weakly.

"That's a GREAT help, Navi!" Link cried out as he pushed the Goron off. "I'm on your side!"

The Goron growled and raised his fists, but stopped when he saw Link's features.

"A Hylian." He muttered. "What are you doing here?"

Link threw him a dirty glare before speaking. He brushed his tunic and looked angrily at him.

"We've come here to speak to a Goron kid." Link replied coldly.

The Goron's eyebrows flew up in suspicion.

"I'm the only one here. Ganondorf and his followers came here one day and snatched all the Gorons. My dad lef t to save the others." The Goron said shortly.

"I'm sorry about that," Navi apologized sympathetically.

"Yeah," Link agreed.

"Are you hungry?" the Goron asked, a look of concern crossing his face.

"A bit," Link answered, relieved. He burped all of a sudden. "Ahem...'scuse me."

"Follow me." The Goron replied quickly, leading them to another set of stairs. The stairs led to a dark room with two torches lit. Link had to stoop to make sure his head didn't scrape against the wall.

There was a giant slab of flat rock which was supposed to be the table and two smaller rocks to sit on. Link glanced only once before awkwardly taking his seat. The Goron moved further on into the darkness and came back holding a candle and some rock-like substance. He placed one chunk on Link's side and a candle in the middle.

"What's your name, by the way?" Link asked. "I'm Link."

Navi saw shock roll over the Goron's face as he lit the candle.

"Link?" he sputtered. "The real, Goron hero, Link???"

"Yes," Link answered, looking pleased.

"My dad...he named me after you!" the Goron yelped in excitement. "Can you give me an autograph?"

Link was glowing with pleasure as he fanned himself humbly.

"Of course, of course." Link said graciously, taking out a pretty pen with a gleaming ruby on top of it. "And why don't you sign up for my fan club, too? Managed by my fairy over there."

Link jerked his head towards Navi, who glared.

"You'd be the first male to sign up," Link chortled. "Ain't that an honour?"

"Sure!" the Goron cheered. "You know, my dad always told me I was just like you!"

"Intelligent and brave, eh?" Link asked, beaming.

"Oh, no, no, no." the Goron gushed. "Idiotic and a fool."

Navi struggled to hold back a smile as Link's ego seemed to pop.

"Idiotic...and...a fool?" Link croaked. "Who was your dad, may I ask?"

"Darunia," the Goron replied, his chest puffing up in pride.

"DARUNIA???" Link sputtered. "DARUNIA??"

"Yes," the Goron said, looking mildly surprised by Link's outburst. "Darunia, the leader of the Gorons. Why so shocked?"

"Nothing," Link mumbled. He didn't feel like launching in and explaining the entire story to him.

"Anyways, I thought you were hungry." The Goron chuckled, pointing to his slab of silvery stuff.

"Is this...edible?" Link asked, poking it tentatively.

"It certainly is!" the Goron said, looking offended.

Link sighed and broke off a crumb and placed it on his tongue, tasting it before swallowing it.

"It deems dokay," he said in a muffled voice as the crumb rode down his throat.

"See? It's gourmet food, only for the best Gorons."

"Yeah," Link mumbled as he broke off a large piece this time and ate it. "It's pretty good."

The Goron smiled widely. "My dad used to tell me not to eat too much. Apparently it's bad for your stomach."

Link nodded and started pulling off another giant piece.

"What's it called, anyways?" Link asked curiously, chewing the soft texture hungrily.

"It's very fine Dodongo's dung." The Goron said proudly, not noticing Link's disgusted face. "We scoop up the poop, bake it for five days, and voila! You got this tasty food!"

Link had turned white and the food was still in his mouth. He just sat there on the rock, frozen in an eating position. Navi tried hard to hold back a grin.

"What's the matter?" The Goron asked, looking a little worried. "Did you choke on it?"

"D-do-do-dodongo's POOP????" Link sputtered, letting all the chewed up substance flying everywhere. "I WAS EATING POO?"

"It's a very common dessert in Goron City," the Goron said, defending the dung. "I can't possibly see why you don't like it."

"BECAUSE IT'S POOP!" Link roared, making the table vibrate. "I ATE POOP! GET ME SOME WATER, YOU CRAZY WOMAN!"

The Goron, who looked stricken and frightened by Link's outburst scurried out, muttering, "Crazy visitors."

"Link ate poop," Navi sang in a sing-song voice. "Link ate poop!"

Link's head fell down on the table, his hunk of food buried in his face.

"I can't believe this," Link muttered. "I cannot believe this. I ate monster's dung and I actually liked it!"

"Good, Link." Navi said soothingly. "The first step to overcoming a fear is by letting the denial flow away from the situation."

"Right," Link took a deep breath and then started to cry. "I'M A WEIRDO! I ATE A DODONGO'S POOP AND I LIKED IT!!!!"

Navi flinched at the volume of Link's sobs but proceeded to quiet him down.

"Link, it's-"

"WAAHHHHHH!!!!"

"Link! Really, it's-"

"I WANT MY MOMMY!!!"

"LINK! BE QUIET AND LISTEN TO ME!"

Link fell silent.

"It's all right now, let's just pretend we NEVER stepped foot into Goron City, and we NEVER ate the poop."

Link took a few deep breaths.

"Right...right..."

The Goron suddenly came pounding in, holding a glass of water.

"Sorry if it tastes weird," he apologized. "Water isn't very clean around here...it's not one of the most popular drinks of the Goron, I'll tell you that."

Link stared at the Goron blankly. "Who are you?"

Navi glanced at Link, confused.

"Link, he's our friend. Remember? The Goron who wanted to sign up for your fan club?"

"Goron...huh? And why are we here? Why are we here in Goron City? Weren't we on the trail?"

Navi slapped her forehead.

"I didn't mean it that way!" Navi exclaimed angrily. "Just forget that you ate Dodongo poop!"

Link burst into hysterical sobs again.

"By Farore, this is insane." Navi muttered. "Anyways, Link, no, not you-"Navi threw an annoyed glance at the crying Hylian, "I mean the Goron."

"Yes?" the Goron asked pleasantly.

"We heard some rumours that Ganondorf revived a dragon," Navi started, but was immediately cut off.

"Volvagia." The Goron sighed. "The evil fire-breathing Goron eater. He'd toast you in seconds and eat you, I heard."

Navi shuddered, and a small cry of fear erupted from Link's sobs.

"Legend says that a long time ago Volvagia terrorized the city, and many lives were lost." The Goron continued, bristling. "But a great hero rose up and destroyed Volvagia just like that! He supposedly had a hammer, and it was blessed by a Great Fairy. Of course, he's dead, but Darunia is a descendant of him!"

Navi swallowed hard.

"We need to go and defeat the dragon."

The Goron snorted. "You? I'm sorry if I sound rude, but nobody except the one who bears the hammer is capable of even getting to Volvagia."

"We have to. Can you help us?" Navi asked firmly.

The Goron sighed.

"I suppose I could...follow me."

Link got up from the rock and stared at Navi with disbelief etched on his face. His look plainly said, _Are you crazy??? Why are we helping the Gorons?_

"But please, all I ask of you is to help free my fellow Gorons, and if you ever see my dad...tell him...that..."

The Goron sniffed loudly and finished in a whisper.

"That the video game I rented from Blockbuster is overdue, and I owe the workers an extra fifty-five rupees."


	63. Secret Passageways

The Goron led them to a dimly lit room with two stone cupboards.

"How prehistoric can you get," Navi muttered.

"Very," the Goron answered, obviously overhearing. He reached out a giant hand, opened one of the cupboards and took out some red garments.

"Here, take this and put it on. We used to have plenty of Kakariko villagers hike up here. They liked to see the inside of our volcano, and they required a special tunic to go inside without being fried."

Link examined the tunic. It was exactly like his Kokiri tunic, except it was a deep lava red and it sparkled in the light.

"This isn't very fashionable," Link complained. "See the end of it? It would be nicer if it was frayed. Do you have any scissors?"

The Goron shook his head. "Scissors would make the tunic useless. It's very delicate, and magic flows through every stitch. If you were to cut something off, you would be cutting off the flow."

"Drat," Link said, disappointed. "I can't be seen in this, it's horrible."

"There's nobody here to see you, Link." Navi said dully.

"Well, actually, there is another outfit…"

"Where?" Link asked anxiously. "Anything would be better."

"Okay, give me a second to dig it up…women are very intent on going inside volcanoes, you know."

Before Link could say a word, the Goron handed him a long red sparkling dress.

"I'll take the tunic," Link squeaked, shoving it out of his view.

"I thought you might say that," the Goron laughed. "Okay, I'll lead you to the passage. It's in my father's room. Follow me."

Link squeezed the tunic on quickly and started to shiver.

"This is cold," Link murmured.

"It'll make the volcano feel like a warm breeze," the Goron remarked, walking out of the room. "C'mon, now."

Link sighed and looked at his limp Kokiri tunic and stuffed it inside his pouch, glancing at Navi for consent first.

"Hurry up!" the Goron called out from a few metres away.

"Tell us more about this Volvagia," Navi implored, glancing at the Goron.

"Supposedly, Volvagia was created by an evil witch named Ganondolia," the Goron began.

"Ganondolia?" Navi echoed. "Boy, that's sure original."

"Ganondolia lived right at the top of the mountain's crater. She considered the Kakariko villagers a nuisance. Being the lazy witch she was, she offered us Gorons powerful spells to destroy the Kakariko village. We refused, and as revenge, she created the deadly monster Volvagia, who nearly wiped out all the Gorons. One brave little Goron left to seek out help from a fairy, whom he found not far from his path. The fairy granted him a magical hammer that was capable of breaking Volvagia's thick hide and destroying him. He traveled back to Death Mountain and killed Volvagia. Ganondolia was defeated along with him, but not before she stole the hammer and hid it deep inside the mountain for others to cause mayhem without punishment."

Link yawned. "So, we have to kill Ganondolph?"

Navi bonked Link on the head and said impatiently, "No, we have to kill Volvagia, the dragon. Do you have any clue why he's come back to life???"

"Apparently some late descendant of Ganondolia revived him." The Goron shrugged. "Who knows?"

Link and Navi exchanged foreboding looks.

"We're here." The Goron suddenly screeched to a stop and pointed to Darunia's chambers.

Link bumped into the Goron and rubbed his nose. "Dat hurt."

Navi looked around. "I don't see any "secret" passageway."

"Well, why do you think it's secret then?"

The Goron moved over to the peculiar statue Darunia had stood in front of and gave it a huge shove over to the left. A dark passage awaited.

"There we go. Onward!"

The Goron motioned for them to go in.

"Aren't you coming with us?" Link asked shakily.

"Erm…" the Goron suddenly looked very uncomfortable. "I'd love to, but…I have someone waiting for me!"

And with that, he raced off.

"A Goron off your own heart…" Navi beamed.

Link took out his arrow and bow.

Navi yelled and started flying away. "I was kidding, Link! I was kidding! Really!"


	64. Bolero of Fire

**I am sorry to all readers, once more, you all have my dearest apologies.**

**The conditions have been very bad for me lately, though I'll try to get a daily schedule up. I know you've heard this before,  
but I'll _really _try this time. Really!**

**Anyways. I haven't played the game in a while, so I'll take a while to update so I can go through some walkthroughs and replay to get the feel for it and see what happened.**

**Bon appetit!**

**strangles disclaimer**

* * *

Link looked unconvinced at the doorway. 

"Navi, I know the dude is real cool and everything joining my fan club-"

"Which is empty," Navi noted.

Link bonked Navi on the head and continued.

"-but honestly, what if he's a minion of...Ganondorf and is just...trying to...lure us into a trap!" Link said desperately.

"I think you're just thinking up excuses so we don't have to fight the boss, Link." Navi scoffed. "C'mon, let's go."

"But..." Link looked nervous and worried. "Why don't we drag him along? I mean, if one of us go down, he should too."

"Link! Stop talking and _go _already!" Navi growled as she attempted to push the stuttering Link through the doorway. Link put one hand on either side of the wall to stop Navi from going any further.

"Navi, can't we have something to eat first?" Link whimpered.

"Just go!" Navi stopped pushing, backed up, and rammed into Link.

Link went sprawling through, tripped over a rock, went flying a few more metres, gathered some speed, bounced off the ground, and landed on a heap on a bridge.

"Wow, that worked well."

"Thanks, Navi." Link said in a muffled voice, getting up. He froze. There was bubbling, oozing lava all around the platform they were on.

Navi felt like she was burning by the minute. "It's so HOT!" she yelped.

Link laughed nastily. "It was your idea. And I'm feeling just fine. Ha-HA."

"You're wearing a tunic designed to protect you from extreme heat," Navi said, exasperated.

"Oh, right." Link stopped laughing.

Navi felt stuffy. "Link, I need protection! Fast!"

Link grinned. "Just how desperate are you, again?"

Navi looked at his hat. "Oh, no...I'm not THAT desperate. Just do the mission on your own, kay?"

"But..."

Navi started to leave. "Call me when you're done! I'll be in Alaska...or someplace cold..."

"Navi!" Link whined. "You can't leave!"

Navi sighed, staying where she was."Well..."

Link perked up hopefully.

"There's a first for everything!" Navi yelled as she began to fly towards the entrance.

"No!" Link yelled as he pounced on her.

Navi soon found herself locked in Link's grip. Stinky grip.

"Let me go!" Navi cried.

"Don't leave me!" Link sobbed as he lifted up his hat and stuffed her in.

Navi sniffed. Apparently Link's hair didn't change in 7 years. It was quite cool, actually. Navi relaxed for a few seconds.

"I'll reconsider," Navi yawned. "I'll stay for a few more missions."

Link grinned. "Ladies charm."

Navi started to lift the hat up. "What?"

"Nothing," Link muttered.

"Link..."

Link spun around, staring at the new visitor. It was Shiek.

"Oh, hi, Shiek." Link said absent-mindedly. "You didn't...see...the...scuffle back there, did you?"

Navi lifted up the hat a bit and saw Shiek standing there with a tinge or red creeping up in his face.

The fairy coughed and whispered in Link's ear, "He did."

Link flushed. "She started it!"

The Hylian thrust his thumb at his hat, and Shiek just stared blankly. Shiek didn't know Navi was under his hat, and thought Link was talking about his cap, not Navi.

"Um...okay then." _Talking caps, this guy is insane! _Shiek silently thought. "Anyways...um. I'm here to...teach you a song...it's called Bolero of Fire."

"Bolero reminds me of burritos," Link chirped happily.

Shiek slowly backed away one step at a time.

"I'll teach you from a distance," Shiek called out.

"WHAT?" Link yelled.

"I'LL TEACH YOU FROM A DISTANCE,"

"WHY?"

"IT'S A...TEACHING THING..."

"OH..."

"ANYWAYS, IT GOES LIKE THIS..."

Shiek took out his harp and played a gentle tune, his fingers guiding the strings lightly.

Navi, who had grown fond of Shiek's nice music, tapped her wings hard on Link's head to the beat.

"Stop it!" Link hissed, whacking his hat, trying to hit Navi.

Shiek saw this and edged away some more. "Er...yeah, that's the song you want to play if you ever want to go back here. Bye!"

The scared Shiekah ran off and hid behind a large boulder.

"Shoo!" Shiek yelled.

Link turned away, sighing.

A few seconds later, they could hear footsteps, someone falling, a "By Farore! The stupid rocks!" and the clicking of heels. When they looked back, Shiek was gone.

* * *

**Well, that's my "welcome back" chapter. Hope you enjoyed it, should get another chapter up tommorow. **


	65. Return of Who?

**Yay,five reviews. I was afraid all my reviewers…died or something.** **Do you guys think that maybe I should redo the first few chapters? They're pretty bad in speeling/grammor/tenzes. XD**

**(Doodle-Pen) –cowers- Yes..it's Nessa, right:D Well…it was too traumatizing for Link to eat one plateful. Imagine more. 0.0 He didn't even go through _therapy_. Poor guy.**

**(Anonymous) Yes, I just did. **

**(Shadow Link 50) How do I do it? Chocolate. Chocolate. And more chocolate. **

**(Klo) I know. **

**(The Other Link) Guess who's back, inspired's back. Glad to hear from an old reviewer. XD**

**(throws disclaimer in scanner and bloody image copies come out)**

* * *

Navi was slowly thinking as the pair progressed along the bridge. Volvagia, the fire-breathing dragon…well, it couldn't be any worse then a large one eyed spider, a spinning tentacle thingy, and a rolling ball of fire and scales, right? 

"Oh yeah…Navi..who was the Sage of the Forest?" Link asked.

Navi rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Okay, but if I tell you, no more dumb questions like that one, all right?"

Link opened his mouth to protest, and there was strain etched in his face. He really, truly, wanted to know.

"Fine." Link grunted.

"It's…"

"Navi, tell me!" Link yelled.

"It was Saria." Navi laughed.

Navi could only imagine Link's dumbfounded face as he suddenly stopped and sat down in the middle of the bridge.

"Saria?" Link whispered. "So that means…she was…no…all those…she…I…"

Link suddenly started rocking back and forth and sucking his thumb.

The bridge started to sway, but Link was too deep in thought to notice his surroundings.

"Get up and move, Link!" Navi yelped in alarm as the bridge moved left and right in an almost upbeat rhythm.

"Mama." Link mumbled.

Navi groaned in despair. How was she supposed to get them out of this? If she left the hat, she would burn in a few minutes!

"Link! MOVE." Navi screamed as she bounced up and down on his matted blond hair. "The bridge will BREAK."

Link continued to rock back and forth, leaning against the weak and aged ropes. The bridge was swaying very dangerously now, and Navi closed her eyes. She had never felt more trapped, confined to where she couldn't do a thing.

"I was kidding, Link! It wasn't Saria!" Navi yelled.

Link got up, all of a sudden. "It wasn't?"

"No, it was…me!" Navi explained desperately. "Now move off the bridge!"

"Navi…forest…why…sage…she…fairy..wrong…" Link dropped back down onto his feet and continued to suck his thumb.

"Maybe I can beat myself to death before I burn," Navi mumbled incoherently as she started slapping herself with her wings.

The fretting fairy suddenly hear a loud snap on either side of the bridge. The strands were breaking!

"Gonna die, gonna die, gonna die," Navi said, her eyes bulging as she rocked back and forth with Link.

"Is confused, is confused, is confused," Link said, his eyes bulging as he rocked back and forth with Navi.

The bridge suddenly snapped in half, each part dropping to the side.

Link snapped out of it and noticed he wasn't rocking back and forth anymore.

"AHHHH!" he screamed.

"Use your hookshot!" Navi yelled through the whizzing air as she clung to Link's strands of hair trying to staying on. "Hit the rocks! ANYTHING!"

It was steadily growing hotter, and the lava seemed desperate to claim them. Link squealed, took out his hookshot, and fumbled with it nervously. In such a sweat, Link's fingers were slipping all over the place.

"PRESS THE RED BUTTON!" Navi screamed at the top of her lungs.

"BUT THEY ALWAYS SAY NEVER TO PRESS THE RED BUTTON IN THE MOVIES!" Link replied, yelling.

"JUST...DO IT!" Navi thundered.

Link closed her eyes and pressed the red button. The hook sprung out and latched deeply into the rock.

The pair suddenly stopped, bounced up in the air, and slowly fell down to a halt.

Navi chanced a look out of the hat and immediately closed the view. They were exactly one inch above the lava, and rocks were crumbling around the hookshot.

"My feet are burning," Link complained, wiggling his toes.

Navi thought in alarm.

"Too much pressure," the fairy mumbled as she suddenly fainted.

Link felt the gentle thump as Navi fell to his head.

"Navi?" Link squealed, his tone rising. "NAVI?"

A rather large rock fell out and bopped Link on his hand.

"Ow!" Link yelped in pain as he let go of the hookshot. The Hylian's feet touched the lava, burning and sizzling. Link screamed in horror and started clutching at the rocks like they were his life, scrambling up the rocks like he was born to do it. A shower of rocks constantly fell and burned in the lava. Link gulped.

Suddenly, the Hylian lost his grip...and fell to his death.

The End.

Nah, I'm kidding.

Link saw a ledge in the hard rock, just a little higher above.

"Don't fail me now, unknown sharp nails," Link prayed as he continued to climb like a wildcat.

One of the rocks suddenly came loose, and Link's hand fell limply to his side.

"Oh nooooo..." Link said in slow motion as his other hand fell down to his side. There was nothing holding him to the wall.

The Hylian slowly started to fall down to the burning, sizzling lava.

_Click._

With a sudden burst of energy, fast moves, and intelligence, Link took his hookshot, untied a few springs, fastened it to his bow, pulled back, aimed for the ledge, and let it go with a quick prayer.

The hookshot went with increased speed and agility, the hook went flying into the air, and when it started it's descend, the hook was quickly caught on a large boulder on the ledge.

Link sprung up, pulled by the hookshot, and went sprawling on the ground.

An evil smile spread across the Hylian's face as he got up and brushed the ash and soot.

"Guess who's back."

* * *

**Ooo. Cliffie. **


	66. Prelude of Pizza

** I finally got an updating schedule. Once a week on Saturday, and if I don't,  
you can send your angry mobs after me and I won't release the alligators...but I'll keep the moat. If  
I fail to update on Saturday, I'll upload another two chapters on the following Saturday.**

**Anyways, reviewing comments!**

**Inu-Fan-5-o.o Close to you? Really? (shoves French teacher two metres away)**

**DITZY- Ooo hoo, read. **

**Destati Chiaro-YOUR DOG ATE MY MUFFINS? WAS IT BLUEBERRY?**

**totallystrange-Yeah, I think I should redo the first few chapters. (awkward silence) Later...on...in a century or so...**

**lil-dragon-blue-Hehe, thank you. XD**

**Knuckles Spyro Fox Link-You don't have Ocarina of Time yet? Don't read! This is too full of spoilers! (begs) Don't read! Well, I think it was. I forget. Uh...no, they have one open spot..no wait, it's been taken,  
sorry. :( Check back after I...(cough) deal (cough) with one of them.**

**KrystalFox-Lol. I'm an idiot too! (runs and hits wall)  
Navi: YOU IDIOT! I'M IN THE SEWERS NOW! WHO FLUSHED?**

**moophead2009-Oh..very well. I updated. **

**(feeds disclaimer to ninja fox dogs-idea by Knuckles Spyro Fox Link)**

**It was longer, but I was too lazy to type it all out. The disclaimer torturing part, anyways. **

* * *

Navi was immediately woken up when Link's hat was seized and thrown off. Straight after, Navi was picked up by the wings and was dangling over the side, over the lava.

"Link!" Navi squealed. "How could yo-"

She saw Link's eyes, which were cloudy with madness and hate.

"Oh no…" Navi whispered. "Not again! I was just getting comfortable, too…"

Link snickered evilly.

"Run run run as fast as you can, you can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man." Link taunted.

"Uh…I never said that." Navi coughed.

Link flushed. "Whatever, you impudent, correcting, fairy! Die!"

The Hylian took a rock, pinned Navi on the ground, and grinned. "See you."

Navi closed her eyes and flinched, waiting for her gruesome death.

"LINK!" a voice cried out.

The Hylian paused, but held the rock steady.

_Forgive me_, Navi thought before she bit hard into his hand.

Link howled in pain, and Navi ran to the voice. It was Shiek.

"Shiek! Boy, I'm so glad to see you, Link was about to kill me because he has the Triforce of disguise and that means that he can automatically switch between good and bad and stupid and smart but you stopped him before he murdered me with a rock and…" Navi stopped blabbering away for a second.

Shiek cautiously wrapped his bandaged fingers over Navi and slipped her into his pocket.

"Seriously, you'd think I'd have a little "respect"," Navi muttered in a muffled voice. "What's going on?"

Shiek slowly unsheathed a small gleaming dagger.

Seeing the faint outline, Navi started to protest angrily.

"No! Don't kill him! The good Link is still in there! Nooo! Don't do it!"

Getting a little irritated, Shiek took a cookie from his other pocket and shoved it into Navi's pocket.

"Ooo, a cookie!" Navi went quiet for a bit and started to munch on the cookie.

"Who are you?" Link spat out bitterly, taking out the Master Sword.

"Link…it's me, Ze-Shiek." Shiek said calmly, blinking.

"Shiek? What business do you have here?" Link asked coldly.

"Well. I was going to teach you the Prelude of Light, seeing as you didn't visit the Temple of Time when you defeated Phantom Ganon, so. But now, I'm slowly trying to engage you into combat, but not so hard that you'll die or something, just enough that it'll shake you out of your stupor."

"I didn't ask for a full fledged explanation," Link snarled.

Shiek raised his dagger up. "Shall we?"

"My pleasure." Link growled.

Shiek easily dodged a slash from Link's blade and whacked Link on the back with the flat end of the blade.

"How dare you!" Link roared, leaping at Shiek. "I'll tear you to pieces!"

"Overstressed," Shiek sighed, easily sidestepping to avoid attacks. "See that purple vein in his forehead. Yep. Sure signs. Give him two or so aspirin pills or so, and he'll do good."

Navi nodded. "And an overdose would…"

"Kill him, or make him look like this." Shiek demonstrated by jumping on the Master Sword and pulling Link's cheeks.

"Oh…no wonder!" Navi exclaimed. "I only gave him once in his sleep every week."

"Every week?" Shiek scoffed as he backflipped. "No, you should give him it everyday, at midnight exactly."

"Now, that _is _surprising!" Navi said, her eyes widening.

"Indeed!" Shiek said, blocking with his dagger.

"I'm getting bored of this. What do you say…"

Shiek's eyes sparkled. "Oh, but of course."

The Hylian, in rage, threw the Master Sword aside and dived for Shiek. Shiek moved out of the way and watched the Hylian fall to the ground. Picking him up by the scruff of his tunic, Shiek took up his dagger and cut off Link's earring.

"I wasn't talking about that," Navi said, disappointed. "But whatever, that works fine too."

Link howled in pain, and his struggles ceased.

Shiek took Link's hat off and shredded it to pieces, then wrapped the bits of cloth around Navi.

"That should take care of your volcano problem." Shiek explained.

Navi looked like one ball of red yarn with two wings sticking out of it.

"I can't breathe." Navi said dully.

"Well, you'll have to figure out how to deal with it." Shiek said comfortably. "Anyways, teach Link the song, will you?"

The Shiekah hummed a light tune, taking out something that looked very much like Link's hookshot and pointed it up at the sky.

The hook sprung out and hit a bird.

"Oy, traffic." Shiek said sadly. A few feathers drifted down. "I'll take a detour."

Shiek played the Bolero of Fire.

"Uh…" Navi said, trying to disguise a snigger.

"Wrong place." Shiek grunted, playing the Minuet of Forest.

Navi watched the last green beads of Shiek's spirit disappearing before flying over to Link and gently shaking him.

"Link?"

"Navi…" Link groaned as he tossed over and stared at her from the ground.

"Yeah?"

"Remind me never to eat two large deluxe pepperoni pizzas in Hyrule when it's being ruled by a maniac _again_."


	67. 101 Ways to Train Your Partner

**I know it's not Saturday, but I suppose I could just sneak this chapter in and update again on Saturday. Maybe. .**

**(Doodle-Pen)-Hehe. I'm glad you and your brother enjoyed it.**

**(UberLutz)-Aw. Make more? That involves more work. (dreads)**

**(Meggy) It's always good to get a positive review. **

**(lil-dragon-blue) Thanks! I just wonder if I can stick to it. o.o**

**(totallystrange) Really? I thought all chapters were weird. XD Yeah, he learned it.**

**(Inu-Fan-5) (looks at muffin with suspense) Ew! There's a worm in it...throws up**

**(Knuckles Spyro Fox Link) Lol. XD Having fun with it? I used a walkthrough 12 times during the game. Oh, yes,  
I suck at video games. ears perk up Game guides, you say?  
How did Mido find your toilet? We will never know. o.o Dun dun dun...**

**(Destati-Chiaro) Ooh, what'd you have on your pizza? (slips translater onto dog) :P That's fine, I like long  
reviews...yes indeed. I would like muffins, please. **

**(Chris-Halliwell) Yeah, I had writer's block for a while. Plus a little bit of laziness. Aie. It was terrible. o.o**

**(Evilangel04) Yay! New disclaimer tortures! **

**(annonamous) 10/10? You're kidding. Thank you!**

**(Tierra) My guess, they had a case of laziness, like me! My educated guess...  
...  
...  
I hope that helped! Almost like the game! (eyelashes flutter)**

**AND NOW, FOLKS, THE PART YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR...**

**DISCLAIMER TORTURING!**

Doodle-Pen: Feed to Volvagia, feed ashes to Gohma Larvae (hey, they're actually useful), then shred poo with  
fast fan blades. Yay, a very clever torture.  
UberLutz: Super Sonic spin dashes through the disclaimer! w00t! (burns any leftover disclaimer)  
Evilangel04: Lock him in a room with the "disguised" Link. Oooh. That's painful and harsh. Ow.

**If I haven't put yours up, it's probrably because I missed it in the review page. Review again with your disclaimer torturing and yell at me. I'll hit myself with a shoe.**

* * *

Link and Navi traveled over to the Triforce symbol on the ground and straight ahead lay the entrance to the Fire Temple.

Navi did not bother to explain to Link what had happened earlier. She figured he didn't really need to know.

There was a deep hole in the ground. Strung tightly to the wall was a ladder. Navi floated down.

"Come on, Link." Navi called out from below.

"Cannonball!" Link yelled as he jumped down.

"You're supposed to use the lad-"

_Kaboom._

Navi coughed. There were clouds of smoke ruining her vision and her breathing air.

Finally, as the smoke cleared, she saw Link crumpled up in a heap. There was a large dent in the ground, and several of the tiles split upwards.

"There's a reason why they put the ladder there," Navi said in exasperation.

Link wiped the grime off his face and looked behind him at the wooden ladder.

"Oh." He muttered under his breath.

"Link, in future, think before you act...or jump down a deep hole."

"Okay, okay." Link rolled his eyes followed Navi into the dark tunnel. The tiles Link fell on suddenly groaned and then molded back into their proper shape.

"I swear, the Gorons were related to the Chinese," Link said, ogling the massive temple. There were three giant statues at the very front, and a stone staircase. On either side of the stairs, there were two doors being barricaded by large blocks. The statues had no arms, feet, or hands. Just mouths…full of blazing fire.

Two fire Keese swooped over to them.

"Duck!" Navi cried out.

Navi's words did not get to Link fast enough. The Hylian put up his arm to shield him, but he forgot that his Hylian Shield was still there.

"Don't hurt me, don't hurt me, don't hurt me." The Hylian whimpered.

The shield seemed to absorb the fire off the Keese, leaving them bare.

"Kill them! They're still stunned!" Navi shouted.

Link lowered his shield and looked at them timidly.

"Nice Keese…"

"Oh, for Din's sake!" Navi bellowed. She flew over to the Keese and bonked them both on the head.

Link, who's eyes were closed since Navi flew over, opened his eyes and stared at the dead Keese.

"I killed them! I didn't even do anything!" Link said joyfully.

"Uh…no, I ki-" Navi thought for a second. Not like he was going to believe her. "Yeah, nice job. Did you see that swing you made? Yeah, it was awesome."

"I didn't even touch my Master Sword! They just…dropped dead! Too scared, eh?"

"Another enemy bites the dust," Navi said sarcastically.

Link jumped on the Keese. "Yeah, take _that_!"

Navi sighed. "Let's get going…"

Link picked up the Keese by the wing, grimaced, ran up the steps, and threw it into the fire. Black smoke curled from the fire.

"Link!" Navi cried out in surprise.

"It's one of those childish urges, I guess." Link shrugged.

"You had an urge to kill a Keese and throw it's dead body into a fire?" Navi asked doubtfully.

"Uh…yeah." Link answered, shuffling his feet.

Navi moved away a few inches. "Okay, come on, we'll go over to the left, the right door is locked.

Link walked over to the left door and knocked on it.

Nothing happened.

"Open the door," Navi said irritably.

"Shhh." Link said, putting a finger to his lips and knocking once more.

The door suddenly slid up smoothly.

Navi stared, dumbfounded.

"You'll learn in good time," Link said, with an air of superiority, walking through fast so Navi couldn't argue.

They were in a very, very large chamber. You could've fit Link's tree house in there a dozen times at least. There was a long bridge extending all the way to the other side, but it split in the middle a fraction of an inch. There were Fire Keese swooping around wildly, and on either side of the bridge were blocks constantly moving back and forth, powered by jets of fire.

"Why is everything…so...fiery!" Link wailed, wringing his arms.

"Do you know why it's called the "Fire" Temple, Link?" Navi asked in exasperation.

"No, why?"

"Forget it…"

Link crossed the bridge till he reached the gap. "Uh…"

Navi floated over, annoyed. "Just jump. You've jumped farther distances before."

"What do Gorons have with bridges?" Link moaned. "I swear, someone purposely broke this bridge! This was a nice bridge! And they broke it!"

Navi sighed. "Hop, little Linky."

"Don't call me Linky," Link growled, making menacing motions at Navi.

"Boo hoo, is Linky mad?" Navi asked in a babyish voice, floating on further to the other side.

Link looked at the gap in the bridge. "No way! That…psychology junk is definitely _not _working on me!"

Navi decided to try a different tack. "Your fans are watching from behind the rocks."

Link zipped over the gap like it was part of the bridge.

"All part of the act, good people." Link said nervously, sweat dripping down his brow.

_He values his fans more than he does his life_, Navi thought, rolling her eyes. _I got stuck with the most vain Hylian in the world. Why, Farore, Din, and Nayru?_

**Somewhere in the Heavens-**

"OH! I thought you were going to do that!" Farore yelled at the top of her lungs, her fingers frantically scrambling over the controller.

"How dare you!" Din shrieked, hitting Farore back with her game character.

"Stop it," Nayru scolded. "Both of you! Listen up, one of the fairies, Navi, she got paired with the really stupid guy, the Hero of Time…what's his name?"

"Uh, Link or something. Noo! Why!" Din yelped. She manipulated the controls so that the figure on the screen jumped back and then slashed forward.

"Oh, you're sneaky," Farore said.

"Ugh. You goddesses are disgusting. She asked why we paired her up with him. Why did we do that, again?"

Farore and Din shrugged, both pointing to the other and saying in unison, "Ask her."

Nayru rolled her eyes.

**-Back in the Fire Temple-**

Navi squinted at the wall. Something invisible was writing on it. Her question was not going to go unheeded!

Eagerly, Navi flew ahead, wanting to hear the wise reply of the goddesses. Perhaps it would help her in their quest!

I…

Navi blinked. It was the start of a great sentence, she was sure.

Don't…

A blank look crossed Navi's face.

Know….

Navi raised her eyebrows. "Am I the only sensible being in Hyrule?"

Link suddenly burped.

"I guess I am." Navi said sadly. "It's a tough job when everyone's an idiot, but a fairy's gotta do it."

"C'mon, Navi." Link called out, at the other side. The door was locked with the same lock they had seen in the Forest Temple.

_If it was hard to make Link hop over a gap in a bridge, how hard would it be to make him jump on the blocks which were skating over hot lava_? Navi thought silently.

"Oh no. No way. I am not…" Link seemed to have read Navi's mind.

Navi smacked her wing against the other in gangster fashion and cracked her…wings?

"OH! OW! THE AGONY!" Navi screamed.

Link edged away. "And she says she lives in a world of idiots…"

"They never get hurt in the movies." Navi moaned.

Link struggled to make a sarcastic remark, but failed miserably.

"Yeah…movies." Link laughed weakly.

"C'mon, boy, jump."

Link looked at the lava tentatively. "Er…"

Navi hoisted a rock up off the ground and tossed it into the frothing lava, and ten seconds later, the lava swallowed it up without hesitation.

"See! That could've been me!" Link exclaimed.

Navi floated over to the left side impatiently. Following her were flaming skulls (what are they called again?) and hot jets of fire rising up. Finally, the fairy made it to the end, glaring.

"I'll wait here for you," Navi shouted. "Fairies age very slowly. Take your time."

Link flushed and sat down on a rock, glaring back with equal intensity. "No."

Navi hummed to herself, beginning to relax for the first time. She dived into one of the pots nearby, enjoying the cold temperature. The pot's cold exterior was hard and thick, providing able protection from the heat.

Link reddened, and though Navi couldn't see through the pot walls, she could tell he was frothing with anger because his fairy was enjoying himself.

Navi flicked on a flashlight, took off the bits of Link's hat off her, laid them neatly on the ground, sat down, put on sunglasses, and waited enjoyably with a book called, "101 Ways How to Train your Partner".

The fairy flipped to page 31, Chapter Two "How to Make your Partner Worship you,".

Link glared angrily. "Oh yeah? Well, I can do that too!"

"Eh?" Navi murmured, concentrating on the words.

Link looked at a jar, winced, and dived for the opening.

"Ow," Navi muttered, not needing to see to know what had happened.

The jar had smashed into pieces. Thankfully, Link had not been hurt, but he had a large bruise on his head, growing at an absolutely _ridiculous _rate.

"Okay, that's it, I'm coming for you!" Link growled. Navi heard great thumps and knew he wasn't lying. Quick as a flash, Navi plastered the bits of hat back on, extinguished the light, and flew up, just in time to see Link hopping over the last few steps.

Navi was whistling innocently. "What?"

"Let's just go, okay." Link muttered, his bruised pride hurting more than the bump on his head, which was swelling.

"I do believe you just broke a record, chap." Navi laughed.


	68. Small Reunion

**New chappie! I finally updated Chapter one, now I just have to move on...to 2, 3, 4, and 5. (collapses) Thank you to Knuckles Spyro Fox Link, Doodle-Pen, and KrystalFox for the enemy name, Red Bubbles. **

**Reviews:**

**(...) Yeah, you're right. Chapter 55 is missing. o.o That's mighty strange. (posts missing posters) Chapter 55 is missing! Read all about it!**

**(Doodle-Pen) XD Mash? I know. I've heard of that show before...(coughs uncomfortably) It's the one with the man-eating potatoes, right? Oh, thank you. **

**(LadyButtercup) Really? Why won't it work on me? (wails and bonks head with hammer)**

**(Knuckles Spyro Fox Link) I worship online walkthroughs. o.o All hail walkthroughs! Goodness, what would the world be without walkthroughs? Ugh. You have the Windwaker? Awww...I want that game SO badly. What happens in the end? Do tell me, I'm probrably not going to get it. Lol. Nah, KrystalFox managed to tell me.Red Bubbles. Skulltulas? XD He got flushed? Yay!**

**(lil-dragon-blue) Don't worry, I'll finish it, and maybe continue it with Majora's Mask if you guys would like that. . (century later, is still typing)**

**(white elite) The first episodes? Huh? (looks around, confused) Ahaha, thank you. Got the maniac killer idea from me sister. **

**(Chris-Halliwell) Oh, yes, he does. o.o  
Me: Link, what's 2+2?  
Link: Uh...I died today, I can't answer that.  
Me: > . **

**(Ri2) Yeah, I just scrambled it around a bit. It's fixed in this chapter, though.**

**(Inu-Fan-5) (stares wide-eyed at rotten muffins) Eeek! (runs off into distance) I almost feel _sorry _for the disclaimer.**

**(Evilangel04) w00t! XD Ruto! That's ghastly! Oh. You're evil. You are SO evil.**

**(KrystalFox) Lol, I know. Biri, Red Bubbles. :P What are the called again? Just kidding. How much was the strategy guide? Yay:P (asks) So, what happened? XD**

**(Destati Chiaro) Mmm...you lucky duck! (steals pizza) Lol, I don't like anchovies that much either. XD Your dog didn't forget! Nooooo! My muffins are lost forever...(dies slowly)**

**(Mr Kyle) (buries third you) And in memory of...**

**Disclaimer Torturin'!**

**Evilangel04-Lock the disclaimer in the Water Temple with Ruto. (shudders)  
Inu-Fan-5-Shove rotten muffins down the disclaimer's throat. Ew! Poison!  
LadyButtercup-Fire Keese burn the disclaimer to nothing. Ohhh...that's brutal.  
Me-Whack the disclaimer with a mouse repeatedly until it dies. **

* * *

There was a blue block with the Temple of Time insignia chiseled into the rock blocking the entrance.

Navi dived into Link's pouch, retrieved the ocarina and tossed it to the confused Hylian.

"Here's a hard one, " Navi challenged. "What song did you learn in a vision?"

"OH! I KNOW THIS ONE!" Link exclaimed, taking out a red button and pressing it multiple times.

"Yes, Link?" Navi asked pleasantly.

"It's…" Link faltered. "Wait, I know this. I know this. Don't tell me!"

Navi rolled her eyes in exasperation. How true Saria's words about dummies remaining dummies were.

Link kept on blabbering, "I know this!"

"It's the Song of Time!" Navi said, her eyes bulging with anger.

"It's the Song of Time!" Link answered right after Navi. "Wait, I knew it. You just said it first."

Navi sighed. "Just play the song, will you?"

Link fingered the ocarina carefully and blew. The notes echoed for a while, and the block seemed to radiate with fierce energy. Finally, it disappeared into thin air.

"I wonder where it goes," Link said thoughtfully.

"Well, probably into some empty space in the Sacred Realm, I guess." Navi replied knowingly.

**Kakariko Village**

A blue block suddenly fell from the sky, falling in front of two boys playing.

"It's another one!" one boy said.

"You think the goddesses are trying to tell us something?" the other pondered.

"Yeah, we're a nuisance and need to be exterminated." The other said nervously. "Do you realize this is the third time something tried to hit us from the sky? First is was Grandma, then it was a boot, and now it's a huge block!"

"I'm not taking any chances," the other squeaked, running off to their house.

"Hey, wait for me!" the lone boy shouted, chasing the other.

**Fire Temple**

There was a door right behind the block, and Link swiftly twisted the doorknob and hurried through. There was a small chest that they opened and received a small key.

"BY THE GODDESSES, IF THERE IS ANYONE HERE, PLEASE HELP!"

Navi flinched. "Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?" Link asked blankly.

Navi squirmed. "I can't be hearing voices yet, I'm too young. It's…I know! It's a spirit message! Only sage bearers are able to transmit messages using their minds!"

Link had some evil fantasies, thinking of what he could've done if he was a sage.

_Hello? _Navi thought in her mind, concentrating with her full energy. Fairies also had the ability to transmit messages, though not too often, as it tired them out for a quite a while. If they did it more than two times a week, they would die of exhaustion.

_Please help me! It is Darunia, leader of the Gorons! Please free my people!_

_We…can try…where are your people? _

_Leave the room! Go to the other one…the one that is locked. I will break the door for you to enter. Come! We shall speak there, sage._

The connection was suddenly cut.

"Sweet, he thinks I'm a sage." Navi grumbled.

Link was chewing on a cheeseburger.

"Where'd you get that?" Navi asked, dumbfounded.

Without replying, Link pointed to his bulging pouch. "Bought it last Friday."

If Navi didn't know Link as well, she would very well throw up.

"C'mon, let's go back to the first chamber. I just spoke to Darunia."

Link finished off the burger, tossed the wrapper into the seething lava, and walked off with Navi to the main room.

"Want a fry?" Link inquired, chomping on some nosily.

Navi didn't even begin her amazement on how Link had acquired the food.

They were back in the room with the flaming mouths. Luckily, the Keese had not returned. The locked door was open.

"The Sage must be powerful to disable the Temple's securities," Navi murmured.

"Link!" a deep, booming voice yelled. "It is I, Darunia!"

Link stepped through the doorway, and across the room was the proud Goron, who had not aged at all over the course of 7 years.

"Hi," Link said timidly.

There was a long, awkward silence.

"Well. I have to go kill Volvagia. See ya! Oh yes, free my people."

Without any more words, Darunia turned around and entered the door that looked identical to the one they saw in the Forest Temple-the boss door.

Some love music was playing.

Link looked up. "Uh…"

The music screeched to a stop like a record.

"Let's get out of here, Rick." A man said, stepping out from behind a few pots.

A few other men followed him, carrying instruments.

Link sidestepped to let them pass.

"Bye," the man said, waving.

Link and Navi did not reply, just stared blankly at them.

"That was also weird," Navi commented.

"HELP!" a voice yelled. Link looked around.

"It's coming from there," Link said softly, pointing to the wall over to the west side.

"It's a Goron!" Navi exclaimed, staring at the mini dungeon. There were smooth, cold bars blocking the entrance to a whimpering Goron.

"Please don't eat me. I swear upon the three goddesses, you'll have diarrhea that'll last for HOURS. I'm warning you!" the Goron sniveled, not looking up.

"Hey, a switch," Navi said, spotting a little brown platform on the floor. "Press it, Link."

Link sat on the switch, but the platform did not just descend to the floor level, it began sinking lower and lower.

"Oh, you fatso." Navi groaned, attempting to pull the sitting Hylian up. "Get up, before you get devoured by lava!"

Link yelped and jumped up frantically.

"I can tell you're new at the hero business," the Goron said knowledgably.

Navi nodded fervently. The bars had crumbled to dust and the Goron was breathing in the air joyfully.

"Thank you for rescuing me," the Goron said gratefully. "Here's a tip."

At the sound of "tip", Link's ears perked up and he slowly turned around like a hunter approaching his prey.

"Here you go," the Goron gestured to two shiny chests in his cell. "See you later in Goron City!"

The happy creature lumbered out, humming Saria's Song.

"See! I'm not the only one that's addicted to the song!" Link retorted.

Navi rolled her eyes and floated into the empty cell. The Hylian kicked open both chests. One contained a small key, and the had a shiny green rupee.

"Cheapskate!" Link called after the running Goron. "Why, I-"

He took out his arrows and bow.

"Link!" Navi said, astounded.

"I was kidding!" Link coughed, but Navi knew that he would willingly kill someone for good rupees.

"It's funny you're not a mobster, or something, you would really be fit for the job. If you had the brains, I mean." Navi said sarcastically.

When the fairy was looking the other way, Link took out a walkie talkie.

"Lino? Yeah, she's onto me!"

"Link, who are you talking to?"

"Myself?"

"Ugh…."


	69. Read This You Must

**Oh. I'm sorry that I haven't updated lately. I just had a couple doses of "STAR WARS FANATIC POTION", so I'm a little hyped up with the saga. Don't be surprised if you see stuff about Star Wars in the fanfic-I still need to digest it all. Thank you to all me faithful reviewers, and my new ones. XD If it isn't funny much, I'm still rusty, writer's block took over for a while.**

**(UberLutz) I can just imagine the summary…Link, a mobster, is commissioned to kill a pretty lady called Zelda…blah blah blah. XD**

**(lil-dragon-blue) (blushes furiously) Thank you, thank you. (bows)**

**(DragonRaiderX9) Red Bubbles! Camping tangerines, thanks, I forgot. Nagged at my brain for quite a while.**

**(Destati-Chan) (gobbles down muffins and smiles innocently) If you're missing any of your blueberry posters…I'm sorry, I couldn't wait. Your dog? Treacherous!**

**(Evilangel04) w00t! Oh.. That's cruel. That's just cruel. I feel the tiniest bit of remorse for the disclaimer…wow. I'm getting soft.**

**(Doodle-Pen) Does it? Yeah, I think the older one was better….(groans) Corrosive fluid…ow. That's gotta sting.**

**(Knuckles Spyro Fox Link Zidane) Oooh…(is blown away) Wow, I wish I had Windwaker…(sigh) Hehe. (looks around and then drops moldy cheese down toilet) Okash, thanks. **

**(KrystalFox) Wow, you must be dead from starvation now. I'm sorry. . **

**(Bikabyte) I was gone…off in Llama Land. I picked up some souvenirs. Want some? (throws live llama) Yeah, of course! Dark Link? (snickers evilly)**

**(Chris-Halliwell) Oooh! Me like! **

**(Marina) You beat it in five days? (shoulders sag) Wow, I suck so much more at games. Thank you!**

**(Nabooru92) Thanks! **

**(Nemesis and Roy) LOL. That review made me laugh for quite a while. **

**Dog: No…you booked them into an insane asylum…**

**(buries dog alive) Uh…don't listen to him.**

**Ehehe…Matrix 2? Very well. I'll make fun of it in the next chapter. (steals cape and runs off laughing evilly) ANONYMOOSE! ME LIKE THAT WORD! ME STEAL WORD! ME KNOW WORD IS ALREADY OWNED BY ROY, BUT ME STEAL ANYWAYS! WEEEEEE!**

**(Cshannon) Hehehe. Thank you! **

**(Princess Ayame-aka AaS) Aw. You reviewed so much! (hugs gratefully) Touche! Classic! The bomb!**

**(blackphoenix117) Your account got deleted? Owww…**

**(Mexican Chick Ryn) PERFUME? _RUTO'S PERFUME_? Oh. You are so evil. So evil. AND IT DOESN'T EVEN STOP THERE. Wow. That's what you call real torture. Mmm…burritos…**

**(The Other Link) I'll come with you to get pizzas!**

**Disclaimer Torture time!**

**Destati Chan-(feeds disclaimer to dog that never seems to be full) OW. **

**Evilangel04-(waves muffin wand and turns disclaimer into Goron and feeds to Volvagia) (sizzle)**

**Doodle-Pen-(dips the disclaimer into corrosive liquid) That's gotta sting…**

**Chris-Halliwell-(disclaimer transforms into piñata and signs all point to it and say "Rupees in here". Link is nearby. Need I say more?)**

**Nemesis and Roy, who are in an insane asylum, for some odd reason-(Big Blue Block crushes disclaimer and farts. FARTS. That's lethal. Chinese water tortuer? With leaky batteries?)**

**Princess Ayame-(blows up disclaimer with bomb) Beautiful!**

**Mexican Chick Ryn-(spray with Ruto's perfume, then have mob of angry Cuccos poo on it, and then everyone from the AAMA come and attack it.) Lovely! LOVELY!**

**Tune in next time for Disclaimer Torture on Channel 29375723547! (don't get mixed up with 29375723**3**47, that's the Hylian cooking show)**

**

* * *

**  
The pair headed back to the temple main room.

"Hey, Navi, remember when I ate that Dodongo poop? That was HILARIOUS." Link chortled.

"That happened a few hours ago."

"Oh…yeah…" Link burst into tears.

Navi had rolled her eyes so many times she thought it wasn't possible to do it again.

"We'll go through here, back to the bridge. If we cross, we should meet another chamber."

The fairy flew over to the locked door, waiting for Link impatiently.

"Hey, Navi, you know what I'm going to be for Halloween?"

"How could be even _thinking _that right now? We might not survive!"

"We made it so far," Link said dismissively, like dying wasn't a possibility. "Besides, even if we did die, we'll come back to life. Good guys NEVER lose."

"I would name so many movies, video games, and stories where so many good guys died right now, but I'm not in the mood for hysterics." Navi muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing." Navi sighed.

The door slid open, and they headed back to the gap in the bridge.

Link looked at Navi tentatively.

"Fans." Navi said dully. "Behind the rocks."

"Right!" Link said nervously. "Right…"

The Hylian hopped over, wiped his brow with a handkerchief and breathed deeply.

They ventured past the rest of the bridge, to the locked door.

"Uh…Navi. I have something to confess." Link said uncomfortably, guilt written all over his face.

"Wait." Navi grunted.

The fairy turned so that her backside was facing Link, and suddenly let out a stream of unrecognizable angry gibberish. When she turned back, a couple jets of steam puffed out of her ears as she glared.

"All right. Go ahead." Navi prepared to wince.

"Um…I lied when I said I knew what to dress up for Halloween."

Navi gave a few twitches before a vein literally popped.

"And I lost the silver key!" Link blubbered in a rush.

Navi tried to relax; she really did.

The fairy began drifting off to her past.

**-Anger Management Classes-**

"I'm in my happy place, I'm in my happy place," Navi chanted along with the other students.

"All right. The final test." The fuschia fairy instructor said, blinking calmly and opening the door.

Another fairy with a guitar walked in, smiling happily and sat down on a stool, preparing to play.

The smile triggered a massive amount of anger in Navi, but she remained calm, remembering the instructor's pats lessons.

"Get your wings shined up, get a stick of Lon Lon fru-"

Navi flew over to the fairy playing the guitar, pushed him off the stool and attempted to murder him with his guitar.

The instructor laughed benevolently and shouted, "GO NAVI!"

Later on, the whole class passed…but one fairy went into the world with a very violent temper…

**Fire Temple-**

"Navi? Are you okay?" Link asked cautiously.

"No, I'm not!" Navi blew up. "You are so stupid, you idiot!"

"Oh, that." Link relaxed. "Yeah, I thought we already confirmed that."

Navi had this look on her face that said only too clearly, "if you don't figure out how to open this door without the key soon, I'm going to throw you into the lava".

"Um, I'm sure we can, um, force the door open," Link said hurriedly, getting the point.

The Hylian looked around quickly, picked up a jar and threw it at the door, thinking it would smash the door to pieces.

Navi eyes turned to slits as she slowly floated menacingly to Link.

"Wait, wait!" Link shrieked in panic, taking out an arrow and stabbing at the lock with the point.

There was a loud snapping sound as a barely visible crack started spreading around the lock.

Frantically, Link started pounding at the lock with the point as if there was no tomorrow.

The lock dissolved into silver ash as Navi stared in awe.

"That's insane! An arrow shouldn't be able to do that!" Navi yelped in shock.

Link grinned. "This arrow's AWESOME, dude!"

The Hylian stroked the shaft of the arrow lovingly and cradled it like a baby. "I'll call you Squishy the Second."

Right on cue, the arrow crumbled into tiny fragments.

Link sank to his knees, scooping up the ashes.

"The power of the lock was apparently too much for it, I guess." Navi shouted amid Link's loud racking sobs. "Well, let's get going."

"I'll miss you, Squishy. You reminded me so much of your mother…or father…I couldn't tell whether it was a girl or a boy…"

Link deposited the ashes into his pocket and entered with Navi.

There was a wooden board leading up to another chamber. Lava was about 1 metre below the board, and there were three metal fences, making a large cube from the wooden plank.

Link looked uneasily at Navi.

_What do Gorons have with bridges? _Navi thought as she floated absent-mindedly into the wired cube.

"Shoot your hookshot, latch onto one of the fences and climb up to the top floor," Navi instructed calmly.

"How do you know all this?" Link asked incredulously as he began climbing.

"Because I've had previous partners who also tried to save Hyrule and failed so I had to kill the-um…I mean…strategy guide?"

"Oh," Link said, looking unconcerned as he got to the top. The Hylian nocked an arrow and aimed at a Keese.

"Wow," Navi said honestly. "I'm actually impressed you were going to kill something without me telling you."

"Well, I figure that after 5 dungeons, you get used to the idea that anything slimy, furry, gross looking, has more than three eyes, more than three legs, you kill."

"I guess that works," Navi sighed.

Link emptied his quiver, but he managed to kill the Keese.

A jet of lava rose up, and lowered itself almost immediately.

"Link, push that block over onto the lava. We'll use it as a mini-elevator."

"Do that I shall." The Hylian said obediently.

"You have to stop hanging around Yoda," Navi said disapprovingly.

"Yoda's got coo' " Link said defensively, pushing the block onto the lava.

"Sure, sure…" Navi rolled her eyes. "Isn't he dead?"

"I talked to him on the phone last night!" Link said devastatingly. "He can't killed that easily. I mean, he's just 800 years old and higher."

"I give, I give." Navi said in exasperation. "Get on the block already, we haven't got all day."

Link looked at Navi, and then looked at the block.

"Fear leads to the dark side," she said forcibly, trying a different tack.

"Ugh." Link rolled his eyes and hopped onto the block.

Navi smiled.


	70. Sorry, sorry, sorry

**I'm. So. SORRY, guys. melts in guilt**

**Middle school started, and I got really caught up. And in the summer, I was…um…busy? Hem. Not good at creating excuses.**

**Anyways, I haven't visited for a while, and I need to replay Zelda, as I completely forgot everything…I think. xD But I don't want you to see me make blunders after a long time of waiting.**

**Hopefully, within two hours, I should be able to catch up to the Fire Temple, (with my eyes bleeding and popping out of course), and I'll kip right back to the computer to type on up. .**

**I can't tell you how much I appreciate your undying support, even when it seemed I was dead and probably rotting someplace in Canada. I'll try not to disappoint you in the future.**

**Cheers,**

inspired-fire 


	71. And the Hero Falls

**Well, I didn't finish up to the Fire Temple yet, but I have a few shreds of memory left, hopefully enough to satisfy you guys for the moment. .**

**I think that my writing style changed a bit. –squints- Not sure though. –coughs-**

**Anyways, I'm only listing the reviews for chapter 69, unfortunately, as I don't have much time to do everything. But I want to let you guys know I love each and every review. XD Luff y'all!**

**Reviewers**

**Evilangel05-Aww, how sweet. –blushes- Can't believe you 're still reviewing after how many months…? O –hugs-You still have the old disclaimer torturing ideas! –applause-**

**Princess-Ayame-) I hope you find the rest of the story up to scratch. I'm still rusty though, I might (and probably will) get a few details of the story wrong.**

**Lil-dragon-blue-Glad you understand. –sighs in relief- Hope you like this chapter. )**

**Roy and Nemesis- -thumbs up- Hopefully the stench of my rotting corpse will help you out. o Excellent. . -rubs hands together greedily- So how's Roy's cape? XD**

**Disclaimer Torturing!**

**Since the disclaimer's had SUCH a long break, it's gonna suffer biggie timey. o**

**Evilangel05-trample it with the horse herd from Lon Lon –bravo!**

**Yours truly-lock it into a room to be studied, tested on, and eventually blown up.**

* * *

Navi hummed an old fairy tune as the block slowly made it's way up. Link flopped down, his legs crossed, a satisfactory smile spreading across his face.

"What are you doing?" Navi asked suspiciously, not trusting her partner as usual. Wisdom from past experiences taught her to not fly closer when Link was happy.

"Counting rupees," Link said happily. "And guess what, I have enough to get 6,000 fries!"

Navi stared blearily at her partner, sighing. "How much is one fry?"

Link looked up at his fairy, seeming embarrassed. "Uhm…I don't know. Just guessing."

He stood up, shuffling around. Unfortunately for Link, the diameter of the block was probably the size of a desk, and within a few seconds, Navi was wincing as she saw a green blur fly off the edge. There was a loud "OW!".

"Link?" she yelled, flying down. "Are you okay?"

There was steam billowing out in great, big clouds from a hole in the ground. A smouldering, twitching green, curled up into a ball was in the middle of all the destruction, whimpering.

"Why. Did. I. Know. That. Was. Going. To. Happen?" Navi said through gritted teeth as she floated over to the Hylian.

Link opened one eye, looking miserable. "Because bad things always happen to us?"

"Probably," Navi said, sighing as she waited for her partner to get up.

Link attempted to get up, rolling back and forth, perspiration evident on his face.

Navi watched pitifully. "By the time we've rescued the sage, Ganondorf will probably have rotted to dust."

Link gasped in awe at this new revelation. "So why don't we just wait and let time finish him off?"

"Well, Link, you see, the five races didn't have a Hero of Time for nothing." Navi said sweetly, a vein pulsing.

A look of utter confusion crossed Link's face. "They didn't?"

Navi was close to close to letting the bottled up anger that had been collecting from the past few minutes out, but instead she mustered with all her strength a small nod.

"Oh, okay then." Link continued to remain lying down the floor as if the ceiling had something intriguing written on it. "But wait, about the part where Ganondorf was rotting to dust, why's that again?"

At that moment, Navi felt sure she was never going to forgive the Deku Tree for pairing her up with Link.

"GET UP, YOU FAT LAZY OAF!" she roared, pulsing. Her calm, blue collected colour changed quickly to a dark and furious red.

"I'm up, I'm up," Link said hurriedly, scrambling to his feet and brushing off soot and ash. "So…where were we?"

Navi changed back to a light blue, and she pointed irritably at the block which was half-way on it's journey down.

Link, amazingly, without further instruction leapt up to the fence, clambered up and jumped onto the ceiling of the great wire cage, only to be knocked down again by the Keese, whom had returned.

"That was for fun," Link explained weakly, taking out his bow and arrows. Navi was refusing to look at him with disgust etched onto her face.

67.5 arrows later (as one snapped in half as Link was trying to shoot it), the Keese were gone, and Link was reluctantly standing on the block again.

"Now, Link, what are we _not _going to do this time?" Navi asked, sarcasm dripping from her voice as a fake smile stretched across her face.

"Oh-err…" Link turned a shade of light pink. "That's not fair, you can't question me, I didn't even study!"

The fake smile slid off Navi's face as she said in a contorted whisper, "You don't fall off the block."

"Oh, yeah."

Miraculously enough, the pair made it to the room above them, where Link proceeded to enter the door. Navi watched him walk through the door, satisfied that Link could accomplish at least one simple act.

Navi followed him. They were still a few inches away from the door, and Link was frozen, looking awkward.

"Er, Navi, shouldn't we close the door?" Link said uneasily.

Too tired to explode, Navi shook her head.

"Just climb up that wall and kill that slug," she instructed.

Link proceeded to do so, jumping up the wall. A rather large slug, which was on fire slowly began it's way towards him.

"Oh my Farore, it's a slug!" he shrieked. "I'M AFRAID OF SLUGS!"

"You're afraid of anything that walks, talks, or breathes." Navi muttered under her breath. "Just kill it; won't be able to hurt you then, will it?"

"But it's on fire, isn't that inhumane to kill it?" Link said thoughtfully. He paled. "HETS (notice at the end of story)isn't doing their job!"

"The Keese were on fire too," Navi pointed out.

"Yeah, but Keese are bats, they deserve to be killed."

"I thought you said you were afraid of slugs." Navi said hotly.

Link's face cleared. "Right!"

The Hylian held his shield in one hand and his sword in the other.

"First, you want to get rid of the fire." Navi explained. "Just ram your shield at the slug."

Link cast a fearful look at the slug. "What if it bites me?"

"Slugs don't have teeth." Navi said wearily.

Link scoffed. "Ganondorf wouldn't hire any hairy, monster being if it didn't have any teeth."

"Would you just kill the stupid thing?"

"Fine, pushy." Link grumbled, throwing the shield at the slug, and luckily it found it's mark, extinguishing the fire. Link charged forwards, thrusting his sword.

The sword drove in deeply, and the slug melted in a fierce fire which quickly blew out.

"You killed it," Navi said stupidly.

Link looked uncomfortable. "Isn't that what I was supposed to do?"

Navi regained her composure, applauding Link. "Er, yes, good job."

Link's chest puffed up a bit and he strode around, resembling a peacock.

Navi stifled a grin.

* * *

**HETS-**Hylians for the Ethical Treatment of Slugs, a branch of Peta. )


	72. Rotting Playdoh

**I FINALLY made it to the Fire Temple. I had to race Ingo like 6 times to get Epona. X-XI'm so rusty.**

**Reviewers:**

**White elite117- xD Why thank you:)**

**Evilangel05- -bats eyelashes- I live for disclaimer torturing. o Apparently you do too:o:o:o –thumbs up-**

**Lil-dragon-blue- :) Thanks. Yeah, I have a history of repeatedly lacking to update, then coming back for like 10 chapters, then the whole thing repeats. –slaps self shamefully- I think I'll be able to update on weekends though. XD Was it short? Lmao, I wrote it in a hurry. xD**

**Llppoo33- Thanks:) I can't believe you read up to chappie 25. Hehe. :) I added a notice for you in chapter 35 in case you didn't make it up to here yet. :)**

**Disclaimer Torturing:**

**Evilangel05-play CD Zelda, make him go mad, then let him explode! –listens to evilangel05 laugh evilly- Dang, I don't want to get on _her_ bad side. :o**

**Mine-eat it for toast :)**

Anyways, without further ado, I bring you Chappie 71. :)

The pair clambered up a ledge after Link had slain the Torch Slug.

Navi was scouting the area, looking around for any enemies.

"There's a few more ledges, but other than that, I don't see any opponents." She called out, sounding thoroughly relieved. "At the top level, there's some metal wiring I bet you can climb, but there's some fire blocking it, we'll deal with that later."

Link was waiting anxiously at the bottom level for his fairy to return. Though neither of them mentioned it or brought it up, there was an unspoken bond that seemed to have developed over the weeks that they had been together killing monsters.

"You're actually not eating something three weeks old for a change," Navi said sarcastically as she floated down, gazing into her partner's worried eyes.

"I actually wait four weeks," Link answered seriously. He continued to look at Navi with a fretting stare, as if he was concerned about her sanity.

"What?" Navi said, feeling self-conscious. "I swear I wiped off the remnants of my last meal…do I have spinach sticking to my face or something?"

Link lowered his gaze.

Navi groaned.

"Oh, don't tell me…I've seen that look before."

In fact, Link was always wearing that look. It was the look of guilt, as if he had done something wrong…or stupid. Usually stupid.

Navi prepared herself, trying to soothe her nerves. "What did you lose this time?"

Link was now the perfect shade of pink. He was drawing a circle in the ground with his toe agitatedly.

"The bow." He mumbled.

"You lost the bow?" Navi said incredulously. "Oh, c'mon Link…it's a big bulky object with two sharp points…"

Navi suddenly got a bright idea. "Wait, take a look in your boot! That's where your slingshot was before, wasn't it?"

Link flushed. "Um, well, yeah, but…"

Reluctantly the Hylian pulled off his boot and upended it.

Navi's nose wrinkled and immediately she began to regret ever interrogating him.

A shower of rupees, mouldy foods (some Navi couldn't even distinguish as they were covered in green hairs), an assortment of wrappers, keys, and other objects began to pile up. But no bow.

"I thought you just had really big feet," Navi echoed tonelessly, stunned.

"That's what everybody thinks," Link muttered sheepishly, beginning to paw through the pile with his hands.

"You are definitely never laying a hand or finger on me after this," Navi croaked, completely grossed out. The fairy edged away slowly, as the stench was really starting to get to her.

Link, embarrassed, stood up after a few minutes, the tips of his fingers covered in a sticky, purple goo.

"What is that?" Navi asked with a mixture of disgust and curiosity.

"I think its Playdoh gone rotten," Link said, fascinated. He rubbed his fingers together curiously. "Wow, that'll make a nice addition to my collection."

"You're going to wash your hands clean of that-that _thing_ and dump all of this into the lava," Navi said firmly. "It's gross, unhygienic, and is the leading cause of disease in Hyrule today."

Link appeared affronted. "Well, it's not completely my fault, y'know, there are other slobs in Hyrule too."

**7 Years Ago**

A large Hylian rally was outside Link's treehouse, chanting "No more disease, no more disease!", all of them clutching oversized, vibrant and glaring orange signs.

The Kokiri watched from their homes, amused.

Link was staring at the crowd confusedly.

"Statistics show you're sixty percent of the problem of disease today!" one of the Hylians shouted.

"Yeah, because of you, we have to wash our hands _every single time after we eat_," another yelled. "Can you imagine how much work that is for us?"

Link shrunk back, blushing furiously.

"Go away," he yelled back feebly. "Don't make me throw one of my boots at you!"

"Go ahead!" the leader of the rally screamed back.

An oversized boot the size of a fully grown man with mould, several different types of fungi and bugs crawling all over it flew through the air and landed with a loud thud in the middle of the crowd, which had scattered the minute they saw the tip of the boot.

"That's the _Old Lady Who Lived in a Stinky Stinky Shoe _for y'all!" Link shouted triumphantly at the retreating crowd.

Later on that night, the Kokiri had a giant bonfire and roasted marshmallows, thanks to Link-who provided the wood, which just happened to be the crowd's signs.

"Disposing of the evidence," Link said proudly, throwing a chunk of wood into the roaring fire.

**Fire Temple**

"Link, snap out of it," Navi said, disgruntled.

Link blinked several times. "What? Cool."

Navi motioned to the giant pile of junk. "I want to get rid of that stuff, just carry it and throw it into the la-"

Link had already taken his own approach, though; with a loud clang, the junk was shoved off the edge.

"I guess that'll help chase away any future visitors," Navi said grimly. "Where's your bow?"

Link shrugged. "I'm not sur-oh, hey, here it is!"

The Hylian beamed and withdrew it from his other shoe.

"How big is that shoe?" Navi said incredulously.

Link grinned, thinking back to his memories. "Big."

Navi shook her head, trying to rid herself of these confusing thoughts. "Okay, just shoot that crystal case over there."

She flew over to the object she was describing. "Come on, hit now."

Link nocked an arrow and aimed.

Navi quickly flew out of the way.

The arrow whizzed through the air, scraping the top of Navi's head.

"Not me, you dimwit, hit the crystal case I was at a few minutes ago!" Navi shouted heatedly. "But, if you were aiming at me, that was pretty good." She added a few seconds later under her breath.

"Oh," Link muttered, blushing. He aimed and miraculously hit his target. Navi grinned.

"Nice," she crowed. The crystal case shattered, and on the upper level, the fire that was blocking the wires was extinguished. "Just jump over here and climb up the ledge."

Link nodded, but began to pale.

"It's only a metre down," Navi said reassuringly. "If you fall, I'll um…put a pillow there."

"Pillows are hard," Link complained.

"A sheet of rock?"

"Rocky or flat?"

"Flat."

Without further ado, the Hylian leapt across the small gap and clambered up the ledge with agility.

Navi was waiting at the top level. "Climb up the wire fencing."

"What do Gorons have with bridges and wire fencing?" Link grumbled as he gripped one of the wires firmly.

"I guess wire's plenty up here," Navi said, sighing. Link continued his climb up, whining continually about how the wires burned his fingers, how he didn't like this at all, how he was hungry and thirsty and tired, how he wanted to go home, and how he desperately wanted to fall down and go to sleep.

"You are the worst companion anyone would have to travel with," Navi said dully, trying to block out Link's complaints. Though she didn't say it aloud, this part of their journey had actually gone pretty smoothly.

The pair eventually made it to the top. Link squinted, gaping.

"Navi…"

Top of Form

Bottom of Form


	73. Mottos and Boulders

**Heh, sorry for the late update guys, I'm only going to be adding new chappies on weekends, mm-kay. xD  
**

**Reviewers:**

**Evilangel05- -puts on an iron suit as protection- Oh lord, I luff bacon. :O**

**Llppo23- ****xD ****Lol, thanks! ****xD**** And narrr, that's not too strange. :P You review a lot! –hugs-**

**Lil-dragon-blue – One week after last update, hope you're not too mad. XD Haha, thanks!**

**Megan- Link got them off ebay. Last pair. –sigh- I tried to bargain with my parents-dishes for a mini lava pit-they started talking about fire regulations. Terrible. X.x :O You're right:O:O:O**

**Princess Ayame- Hooey, hello there. XD You're still reviewing? –huggles- Luff y'all. -gives you a cookie-****xD**

**Knuckles Spyro Fox Link Zid-ah, what the heck xD - :O YOU'RE ALIVE! ONE OF MY FAVOURITE REVIEWERS IS ALIVE:O is always so glitchy. XD Last key in water temple:o Water temple was hard. –shudders- Didja try your game guide? I remember one of you guys had a game guide. XD Or a walkthrough?**

**Link can't be smarter than you:O Everybody's smarter than Link. XD**

**-patpat- You'll get it.**

**Ooh, lovely disclaimer torture:O**

**Inu-Fan-5- Oooh, I keep seeing my old reviewers. You guys are so loyal. XD I'd killed my writer if she stopped updating several times. ****xD**** Weee! Nice torture:O**

**Wow, you found playdoh under your bed before? –is envious-**

**Doodle-Pen – YAY YOU _ARE_ BACK :O Really? –bats eyelashes- I thought I had lost my sense of humour. You know. Grew old. XD Dang, nice one. :O –glares at trembling disclaimer-**

**Peteblaze- Aww, how sweet. ****xD**** Hmm, for the lkana king, I sort of forgot. Lmao. Something to do with shielding, bouncing off the light from the windows at them, then striking them with your sword. Try a walkthrough. ****xD**

**Disclaimer TORTURING:D**

**Evilangel05- -pokes disclaimer till he dies and turn him into humacon-bacon+human- oh lord, me wants bacon. –drools-**

**Knuckles- -takes Link's oversized boot and force-feeds it to disclaimer- -fans self- Now there's originality for ya.**

**Inu-Fan-5 - -sticks a million toothpicks into disclaimer, then light the toothpicks- Dang, spicy.**

**Doodle-Pen – Dump disclaimer into Link's boot and saran wrap the top so it can't get any air. BRILLIANT! I like this one. ;O**

**Also, should I add a little bit of what happened last chappie now? –ponders-**

**

* * *

**

Navi gaped soundlessly at their surroundings.

The pair was standing in the middle of a maze, the walls at least four times their size, and to top it all off, murderous, oversized boulders were rolling around gaily.

A large rock the size of a treehouse back in Kokiri Forest slid smoothly towards them, crushing the little bits of debris under it. Link let out a small groan.

"Bad things do happen to us," Navi said, wincing as the boulder bulldozed right over Link.

Cursing, Navi flew over to her fallen partner.

"Link, are you okay?" Navi asked urgently, trying to pry the flat Hylian off his chest.

Link, with great difficulty, raised up his head, and his once rather clueless features had been sort of squished into his face, giving him the look of a sly, conniving villain.

"I've been rolled over flat by a boulder," Link rasped disbelievingly. "DO YOU THINK I'M OKAY?"

"I guess not," Navi muttered, her sensitive hearing damaged slightly. "Can you um…get up?"

Link collapsed back on the ground as a reply, grumbling, "and I thought Goron hugs were bad."

Navi grimaced. Sooner or later, the boulder would begin making it's way back, and when it did, Link was surely not going to survive the second time around.

Two minutes later, the Hylian had not budged from his resting place on the ground, and Navi was growing more frantic and worried by the second.

"Link, I can see the boulder coming back," Navi yelled anxiously, prodding him on the shoulder.

"Okay, just let it kill me," Link mumbled into the ground incoherently. "I'm hungry anyways."

Navi felt goosebumps erupt all over her as she saw the giant block slowly roll towards Link, bringing his death.

We can't be destroyed by an oversized boulder, Navi thought desperately, trying to push Link out of the way, but her efforts were futile. 

Link, who seemed to sense the incoming rock let out a stream of unrecognizable words, rocking back and forth, tried to get up but failed, the tension too high.

Navi's heart dropped like a stone when she heard the squelching sound again.

"Na…"

Navi looked up in disbelief at the Hylian, who was now about two feet deeper into the ground.

"Link!" Navi cried out joyously. "You're alive!"

Link, with a stupendous effort raised his head and scowled.

"Seriously, could you people just kill me outright?" he complained angrily as he sank back into his imprint. "If you don't kill me the third time, I'm _sooo_ getting a lawsuit."

Navi flinched as the boulder came by the third time round, now driving Link an astonishing six feet deeper.

"Link?" Navi croaked on the sixteenth time around.

Link didn't reply. There was a deep pit, a squished up figure in the middle of it all. Surprisingly enough, ten minutes later, the boulder had not returned.

"I think it's given up," Navi said thoughtfully, wondering how a boulder could think as she floated downwards to her fallen partner.

"Link, you all right?" she said worriedly.

"Yes, I'm perfectly fine Navi," Link answered sarcastically. "Could you stop asking me that when it's so obvious I'm in pain?"

Navi shrugged. "I'm the annoying character. Deal with it."

Link gingerly propped himself up on an elbow, moaning in pain.

Navi wondered what she could do to soothe her partner's wounds-and the future headaches she would get.

"Did you pick up any leaves on the way here, Link?" she inquired sharply.

Link scoffed. "I picked up every single leaf in Hyrule up till here."

Hopeful, Navi soared over to Link's pouch, and with an outburst of strength unhooked it from his tunic and let it's contents spill over the rocky floor.

"I'm not going to say anything," Navi muttered as she flew up from a vintage point and tried to sort out green leaves from the mess.

Link occasionally dipped a finger into the pile, coming out with a piece of sometimes mouldy food, and ate it ravenously.

Navi tried to keep her disapproving and disgusted look from landing on Link. It was incredibly hard.

"A leaf!" Navi crowed with joy as she swooped down and clutched and examined it carefully.

"Forest Temple Brand-it's dagger like feel will make you feel electric!" Navi read off the back of the leaf. "By Din, companies really do what to emphasize their motto nowadays. Anyway, wrong type."

The fairy tossed the leaf to the hissing lava, and a horrorstruck look crossed Link's face as the leaf boiled and melted.

"I had to kill several Wolfos for that," Link said inaudibly, looking dazed.

Navi kept digging through the pile. "Here's another one."

Her hopes surged as she read it. "Buckley's Medicinal Leaf. It tastes bad. And it works."

"I thought I chucked that out," Link mumbled, disappointed.

Navi began tearing it up and munching it up hurriedly, causing squirts of juice to pour out in large amounts. She nearly spat it out.

"It does taste bad," she grumbled, nearly choking on the terrible smell that was flitting through her nostrils.

Link looked contorted with aches. "I swear, I'm going straight to the retirement home ads after the Fire Temple."

Navi, sure that she had completely dissolved the leaf into liquid looked for a cup in the pile. There was a toothpaste cap to the left.

"It'll have to do," the fairy said grimly, picking it up and spitting the juice into it. It was a light yellow, the colour of sunflowers.

There was an extremely bitter and foul aftertaste lingering in Navi's mouth as she searched for other leaves, feeling slightly light and happy. Navi always did like brewing up odd liquids for her parents to try.

Of course, Navi's parents also scheduled a trip to the doctor's whenever Navi hinted at them she had a surprise ready.

Navi spotted two other Buckley leaves and reluctantly scooped them up and started munching on them again. The taste seemed to have worsened. After a few minutes, even though there were still some bits that weren't chewed up to liquid left, the fairy spat it out eagerly into the cup.

Link was watching all this, turning a shade of delicate green.

To rinse out the taste in her mouth, Navi looked for any fruits, hopefully fresh ones.

Almost as if it was portrayed as some sacred key to freedom, a shiny, gleaming, red and ripe apple lay on top of the pile, cushioned by some shreds of clothing.

Navi floated over to it, hypnotized. Excited, the fairy took a huge bite out of the apple, and immediately the taste was washed away by sweetness. She ate it all the way to the core, and, for her partner's sake, bit out some seeds and spat them into the toothpaste cup, hoping it would lessen the foul taste. Thinking vaguely about the taste, Navi started thinking about other objects she could put into the cup to add a bit of tang.

The fairy floated over and found a few mouldy sugar cubes. She bit off the fresh corners and popped them into the cup. The liquid began to sizzle.

"Um, Navi, shouldn't I drink it now?" Link asked nervously.

"Quiet, I'm doing this for you," Navi snapped, grinning widely. Oh, how she would make Link regret carrying so much stuff.

Navi spotted a cherry the size of herself. With difficulty, she heaved that into the cup as well. Sparks were beginning to fly from the liquid.

Link was considering running away from his fairy.

"You like rupees, don't you Link?" Navi asked in a dangerously sweet voice.

"Who, me?" Link squeaked nervously. "Yeah, sure, if you want me too!"

Navi, with crazed eyes bit into a rupee hidden in the pile, and a small chunk of it fell into the potion. Now it turned a nasty foul purple, with light splotches of yellow.

After several other different ingredients, Navi presented the full to the brim toothpaste cup to Link, smiling maniacally. "Drink."

Link peered into it, immediately turning away. It smelled terrible, just terrible. Green gases were winding a trail upwards, dark bubbles popped inside the liquid, and it reminded Link of old socks and recently mowed lawns.

"Er, Navi, I'm feeling quite okay now," Link said in a small voice.

"DRINK IT UP!" she yelled dangerously, pushing the cup towards him.

Pinching his nose, Link downed the cup in one gulp.

Navi watched expectantly. Oh, now Link would never dare stick anything in his pouch.

Link closed his eyes like he was expecting a bolt of thunder to hit him-then a dazed, heavenly, unfocused look crossed over his face. When he opened his eyes, they were glazed over. Without further ado, Link, who was still propped up on a rather sore elbow, fell down flat.

"Oh, by Farore, did I kill him?" Navi muttered anxiously. "I guess eating a combination of hairy salami and wood wouldn't be healthy."

Link suddenly shot up like a missile, grinning widely. "THAT WAS THE BEST THING I'VE EVER DRUNK IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!"

Navi stared disbelievingly.

"I got this really weird sensation," Link explained quickly. "And I thought I was going to die because I saw you dump some purple fungi in there, but it felt so reenergizing! Thanks, Navi!"

Navi felt like a goldfish, her mouth open.

"But…but." She stammered, feeling stunned. "How could you…"

Link was eagerly zipping about, twirling around and doing pirouettes. "I've never felt so free before!"

Navi, who was overcome, shook her head.

"Let's just keep going," she mumbled.

Link gaily hopped after Navi, humming.

"Watch out for that boulder," Navi pointed out emotionlessly. Link dodged it nimbly.

There were loud Goron cries resounding from the side.

"Look, a Goron!" Navi said, astonished. "Come on, Link!"

Link was there five minutes before Navi.

Navi pointed to the switch. "Seriously, Ganondorf's getting sloppy about security lately."

"I think the boulders were there for security," Link answered, stepping on it. The gates slid open. The Goron inside stumbled out, relieved.

"Thanks so much!" he cried out, looking very happy indeed.

Link was kicking open the chest and collecting the silver key inside.

"Rupee?" Link asked gruffly.

Navi and the Goron exchanged glances that clearly said, "Don't bother."

Eagerly the Goron skipped to freedom.

Navi smiled at the back of the disappearing creature and looked back at Link.

There was a loud squelching sound.

"Don't bother," Navi muttered.


	74. Stress Attack

**Sorry guys, this chappie is way too short for 100 satisfaction (I'm extremely busy throughout teh week), I will add a longer chappie next Sat/Sun. I can't do chap 73 reviews for today, maybe add it later on if I can. Disclaimer torturing too, guys. Sorry for the inconvenience.**

* * *

Navi floated over rather absent-mindedly through the maze with Link, who looked extremely nervous. He jumped whenever he heard a boulder switch directions.

"I'll go to the retirement home ads with you after this," Navi offered.

"Thanks, you can be my butler," Link replied gratefully.

_I must've grown a stronger tolerance_, Navi thought, slightly surprised. She wasn't feeling the boiling rage and didn't have the urge to tear Link to pieces.

"Hey, look, a door!" Navi exclaimed.

"What's so exciting about doors?" Link mumbled as he followed Navi. "You just go through them."

23 Miles Away, the Dooryan Headquarters 

A Hylian, who was listening in with headphones suddenly paled.

"HE'S RENOUNCED US!" the Hylian roared.

"Fourteen doorknobs," said a Hylian smugly to his friend.

"The Hero of Time is supposed to be gracious to all organizations, how was I supposed to know he was fooling us all along?" his friend protested, but taking a few yellow knobs out from his pocket.

"Look, don't tell anyone, but…"

His friend leaned in.

"Ganondorf sent a bulldozer yesterday to destroy Headquarters!"

"Surely you jest! Dooryans are probably the most reasonable type of organization around!"

"Well, I guess we aren't. Listen to this piece of juicy gossip-Ganondorf, whom we sent 630 doorknobs as a gift USED THEM AS WEAPONS."

"How could you use a doorknob as a weapon?"

"He set fire to them and threw it at villagers!"

"Oh, such a waste…I know a few people who died of beatings while harvesting doorknobs…"

"Beatings?"

"Aye, the people claimed we stole it from them!"

"Oh, dear. We're definitely not going to have much publicity after this."

"Good publicity, you mean."

"Miss Perfect."

"Miss Ugly."

"Stop it!"

"You stop it!"

"I can't stand you anymore! Always complaining!"

"The feeling's mutual!"

"By Farore, I'm going back home."

"Fine! Go! You won't be missed!"

The other Hylian, enraged, stomped out of the room, only to return five minutes later, looking very miserable.

"Really?"

Fire Temple 

The two were standing over a very, very tall ledge. There was a winding path of rock, but extremely thin. One step off, and they could fall into the lava.

Navi turned to Link and looked at him, with tears brimming in her eyes.

"Navi, your eyes are bleeding," Link said, alarmed.

"No, you dolt, I'm crying." Navi sniffed loudly. "And blood is red, you should know that, having killed how many monsters?"

"Why're you crying? There's nobody here with stuff we need, and, plus, most monsters' blood is green, black, or blue…ew."

Navi slapped Link, tears completely gone now. "No, Link, because I know that you're going to fall off the edge and into the lava. It's so you. How many ledges/buildings/anythings have you fallen off of?"

Link looked uncomfortable. "I don't know…um…sixteen or so?"

Navi rolled her eyes. "It was a rhetorical question. Don't ask me what it means. Bye Link, it was nice knowing you…not really hygienic, but…yeah."

Sighing, Navi floated over to the other side by a barred door, waiting for Link to die.

Link, who looked thoroughly bewildered, crossed the thin path without fault.

Navi was astonished. "How did you do that?"

"I…walked. Walking is what I did, right?"

"Yeah. Yeah, that's right. Um…just…hit the eye on top of the door…okay?"

Link nocked an arrow, aimed, and barely scraped the outer edge. However, the bars disappeared and the door was free for entrance.

"Good job," Navi said, trying to sound impressed.

Link's chest puffed up a bit as he strolled towards the door, which sensed their presence and flew up. They were in a small, cramped room, with wire fencing.

"My Din, Gorons really do have something with wire fencing," Navi muttered. "Come on, I see a treasure chest."

Link skipped over gaily and popped open the chest. A clown with red lipstick plastered on jumped out, singing, "Hello, hello."

The Hylian let out a bloodcurdling scream and hid behind Navi for a brief second. Then, deciding that Navi didn't offer much protection ran to the door, which flew open again. Navi, who was too stunned by what had occurred in five seconds, missed her chance at the door and was left standing face to face with the happy clown.

The clown, who's face was pulled down in a frown, seeing that there was no fear in the room vanished in a yellow wisp of smoke.

"LINK. GET BACK IN HERE THIS INSTANT." Navi roared angrily.

Link toddled in, looking very much like a dog who had done wrong and was well aware of it.

"What. Were. You. Doing. When. I. Had. To. Fend. For. My. Life?" Navi demanded, specks of spit flying.

"Reading…a book."

"What book."

"_What to do with Fairy Remains_." Link croaked, wincing.

Navi began flashing a light red, the crimson, then deep purple, pure red, and finally stopped a shade of black, which Link had never seen her turn.

"YOU ARE THE WORST, MOST INCONSIDERATE PARTNER I HAVE EVER MET." Navi bellowed, pulsing in rage.

Link was mumbling.

"I-DON'T-KNOW-WHY-I-SPENT-ALL-MY-TIME-WORKING-WITH-A-BUMBERING-STUPID-IDIOTIC-FOOL-LIKE-YOU!" Navi screamed. "UGH!"

With a final, guttural cry of outrage, Navi flew through the door, leaving some sort of black, ashy soot behind.

Link, who looked quite unnerved, gaped speechlessly at the spot where Navi had left. Then, looking very guilty, bent down and scooped up some of the ash, pocketing it.


	75. Hero First, Comedian Second

**Hi guys. -cowers-  
Seriously, I'm so ashamed for not updating for what...two years, now?  
I won't go in-depth, but a lot has happened in the past two years, and I've probably lost some of the humour that made you guys laugh back then.  
I've probably lost about 95 (100, really) of my reviewers, and for good reason, too.  
I've been really unreliable with my updating. ;; Really, really,_ really _unreliable.  
I'm not going to make any false promises about updating anymore, and saying I'll try seems sort of pointless.  
But anyway. Next chapter. Ho geez.  
If I could make this font supersized, I'd totally make it cover up the entire page. Sorrrrry. ;-;  
-puts "Nobody Wants To Be Lonely" into disclaimer CD sadly and then stabs herself with a plastic fork-**

* * *

"Well then," Link said to himself. "I guess I'm _alone, _and _vulnerable_, and _scared_, and…Navi, can you please come back now_."_

And then he waited anxiously for the next ten minutes for Navi to come swooping back in and swat him on the head, scowling.

"I GUESS I SHOULD GET ANOTHER FAIRY, THEN," Link yelled loudly. "HELLO? IS THIS THE FAIRY AGENCY? YES, I'M REQUESTING ANOTHER FAIRY…MY FORMER FAIRY WAS SO IRRESPONSIBLE AND-"

Link faltered at the silence. A couple of lava bubbles popped, almost out of pity.

Had Navi really left him?

For _real_?

Link cautiously took a few steps forward down the path, counting each time his foot hit the ground.

"…10 steps," he breathed incredulously. "10 steps without Navi bickering in my ear."

And then he plopped himself into a comfortable sitting position, jamming a finger into his ear and yawning. "Wow, I could really get used to this!"

Suddenly, a thought ran through Link's vacant mind.

What…what if…the clown came back? What if, heaven forbid, _Navi _wasn't there to take the blow for him?

"Well," he reasoned. "She couldn't have gone very far. Navi wasn't very athletic anyway. I'll catch up to her later."

**Kokiri Forest**

"I hate his guts," Navi muttered, zipping through the forest with the speed and danger equivalent to a falling guillotine. "Just hate his putrid, disgusting, guts."

A tree came into Navi's path suddenly, too soon for her to swerve, and Navi growled angrily, flying right through it, leaving a fairy-sized hole in the trunk, wings and all.

"Ted?" the tree next to him said. "Ted, are you alright?"

"I just got a flipping hole in my trunk, you idiot! What do you think?"

The tree frowned and then leaned back, making a disdainful face. "Well, it's not my fault someone didn't get enough _nutritious soil in their diet_."

"…like you did! Your bark's like paper!"

"Construction paper," he said smugly. "Construction paper."

Navi spat out some remnants of bark. She vaguely resembled a flaming baseball. Something on fire, anyway.

One unfortunate Kokiri managed to figure out it was really Navi, not a flaming baseball, and waved hi, inquiring where her partner was.

Navi stopped moving, slowly turning with a death glare.

"Do you think," she said, her voice dangerously low, "that my existence is limited to helping my partner? That I do not have any other purpose than to make sure he's o_kay_, make sure that he _succeeds_, while I get stuck with the dirty work?"

The Kokiri hastily shrank back into her treehouse, knocking over a lantern. "N-no, Navi!"

The flames from the knocked over lantern licked the curtains and began to spread at a rapid rate, surrounding the Kokiri in a ring of fire.

"Good," Navi hissed. And then she paused for a brief moment, before flying back to her domain. "By the way, your house is on fire."

"O-ok-okay." The Kokiri stuttered. "No problem."

Within moments, the fire had managed to affect the surrounding six houses and it was starting to devour the forests nearby.

Navi flew out of the fire, all the while completely oblivious to the chaos she had started. The Kokiri were frantically trying to calm the flames, but to no avail.

"_LINK_!" she screeched loudly.

**Fire Temple**

Link looked up. "I swore I heard my name just then. Must've been someone from my fanclub."

Ironically enough, this was true; Navi was the only member (forced)-besides himself and the Goron named after himself, in the club.

Link brushed himself off and then stretched. "Well, I guess Navi's not coming back .It must've been thirty minutes or something already."

All of a sudden, he heard a strangled Goron cry. "Oh, hey! I'm going to go save someone. Without…Navi."

Link headed over to the source of the sound, all the while deep in thought. It just wasn't as _fun _rescuing someone without another companion to take all the glory from. And suddenly, he knew the solution to his problems.

As Link stepped on the switch, the Goron, who was a blubbering mess on the floor, rushed out, beaming.

"Thank you so much, sir!" he said appreciatively. "I am indebted to you."

Link smiled evilly, and the Goron looked back at his previous jail, wondering whether it was too late to turn back.

"Well, you see," Link said thoughtfully. "I'm looking for a sidekick. I need one I can boss around, bully, get answers from, kick when they're down, take the glory from, have high expectations for, insult freely… "

The Goron headed back into the barred room and then dragged the door back into its original place.

"Hey wait," Link said, irritated. "I'm not done. And why'd you go back?"

"Can you tell the next guy who comes in here that I'm on the second floor and waiting for someone to rescue me? Thanks."

The Goron settled back into a corner, snoozing.

Link was at a loss for words. He had been _turned down_. And not just turned down by any ordinary Goron-he had been turned down by an imprisoned Goron.

"Hey, dude!" Link said. The Goron continued to ignore him, and Link slipped off his boot and managed to fling it through the bars, hitting him.

"What," he grumbled, scratching his back. "I already told you, I don't want to be your sidekick. Who in their right mind would?"

Link's ego could take no more, and he slumped to the floor, bursting out into tears. "Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid-"

"…um. Sorry?" The Goron offered, uneasy. "You can have the key in this treasure chest, I guess. Not like there's any doors to unlock until the eastern part of the third floor."

"Thanks," Link mumbled, blowing his nose. "You sound like a subtle riddle designed to help me through this dungeon, but thanks anyway."

The Goron slipped the key into Link's shoe and then passed it through the bars.

"By the way," he said as Link put his shoe back on. "Your boot really smells."

"THAT'S JUST LIKE WHAT NAVI WOULD SAY," Link bawled, falling back onto the floor and beating his fists at the ground like a toddler. "NAVIIIII!"

The Goron stared, dumbfounded. Sighing, he settled back into his corner, trying to shut out the wailing Hylian outside. He was howling about some Navi thing offering him mint spray for his feet.

"IF YOU'RE GOING TO CRY," he bellowed. "AT LEAST TAKE IT TO THE DRAGON. AT LEAST HE CAN EAT YOU AND SHUT YOU UP."

Link paused fearfully. "Dragon?"

"Yes, _dragon_," the Goron said, exasperated. "Honestly, you're like a child. The dragon is called Volvagia, and that's the reason why I'm locked up in here in the first place."

"Oh yeah, now I remember! Navi and I were supposed to kill it…right? Or was it Darunia…"

At this, the Goron began to roll on the floor, crying tears due to his laughter. "ARE YOU SERIOUS? YOU…YOU WERE GONNA KILL…AHA…AHAHAHA!"

"…what," Link said, embarrassed. "…what's wrong with being ambitious?"

"MORE LIKE STUPID," the Goron began to choke on his laughter, gasping for air. "HOW COULD YOU EVER HOPE TO DEFEAT VOLVAGIA?"

"We were supposed to use a hammer," Link said, scratching his head. "But I was thinking, hey, if you can use a hammer, why not just use an exacto knife or something?"

The Goron's remaining composure cracked, and he gagged as he continued to roll around, trying to breathe.

Link reddened. "Hey, I DON'T NEED THIS TYPE OF NEGATIVE FEEDBACK. KAY?"

The Goron drew one last, hoarse, rocky breath, and then his head rolled into an awkward position, resting on his left shoulder.

"He's dead," Link said, disbelieving.

And then a wide smile grew across his face. "I ALWAYS KNEW I COULD MAKE SOMEONE LAUGH TO DEATH! A HERO FIRST, A COMEDIAN SECOND!"

"Or maybe a comedian first, and a hero second, seeing as you just killed someone," a voice said grimly.

"Navi…?" Link turned his head and spotted his familiar fairy friend. "Navi!!! You came back!"

_Make a run for it, buddy, you're a goner_. A voice in his head said. _If she came back willingly, she's probably hiding a butcher knife somewhere. If you're lucky. She might make use of the lava surrounding you_.

_Holy smokes, _Link thought. _I'm getting advice from someone in my head! MAYBE NAVI TOOK OVER MY HEAD TOO?_

The voice fell silent.

A bead of sweat rolled down Link's forehead. Cautiously, he took a few steps back. "Navi…?"

"It's okay, Link, I'm not mad at you." She said wearily, floating to his side.

_What's going on_, Link thought. _Even under normal circumstances she would have just socked me in the stomach as hello._

"For real?" Link said, his tone lightening with glee and wonder. "Seriously?"

She smiled. "Yes, Link. Let's get going, shall we?"

Link frowned. "I'm not s'posed to go with strangers. Navi said."

Navi beamed contently at him like he was a precocious six year old. "That's right! No strangers! But I'm Navi, remember?"

"No…no you're not. Navi would have tried to killed me already, or uttered some death threats." Link said resolutely. "Navi made 83 attempts on my life in the Forest Temple and she promised me that she'd break it in the Fire Temple. It's only been 50. Navi doesn't like wasting time."

She stared disbelievingly. _He remembered_?

"Okay," she said. "Okay, I've had enough. If you walk with me out of this room so we can make some progress, for once, then I'll tell you why I came back. Okay?"

Link stared suspiciously. "Why aren't you even offering me candy? Navi told me strangers offer candy. You're a greedy stranger. That's even worse!"

"I'm very, very close to pushing you off this ledge," Navi threatened through gritted teeth.

"Navi!!" Link cried out in joy. "You're back! What took you so long! I had to go look for a new sidekick, and then he ended up dying. (of course he accepted my request, though)."

And then he paused. "Wait. Did you become like, a schizo?"

Link backed up several steps. "If you're a schizo, Navi, I don't think we can be partners anymore. I hear they're infectious, and prone to mood swings."

Navi couldn't believe the irony.

"Of course not, you idiot! I just thought I'd take a new approach so we can actually work together for once, but forget it! You're impossible!"

And then she fluttered over to the exit. "Okay, come on. Let's go."

Link, overjoyed, complied. "It's okay, Navi, he wasn't a very good acting replacement for you any who. It wasn't anything permanent. Don't be jealous."

At the exit, she furrowed her brows. "Wait, you tried to get a new sidekick??"

_I'm a sidekick_? Navi thought distastefully as they left the room with Link's silver key.

"Yeah," Link answered casually. "Also, why'd you come back?"

"Let's just put it this way," Navi said reluctantly. "It's…er…part of my contract. I'm allowed 30 minutes of cool-off time, and then I have to come back."

"Oh."

In reality, fairies did not have cool-off time. They were expected to remain with their partner at all times. Navi had found herself in a very uncomfortable situation back in Kokiri Forest, and decided it was much better with Link than under the spotlight.

**Kokiri Forest**

"The suspect then ignored my polite hello and proceeded to knock over every lantern in sight, all the while cursing Kokiri Forest and her partner Link," the witness said, sounding pitiful and tired. There were sympathetic titters in the crowd.

"Terrible," they whispered. "Poor Link."

"He has to live with her and her angry tantrums? My heart goes out to him."

"What a terrible fate for him to have to live with her all the time! It's only a matter of time before he goes mad with her presence!"

"She could've killed him several times, the poor soul!"

Navi, meanwhile, was called to the stand.

They repeated her name several times, but nobody came forward.

The Kokiri on guard stumbled into the courtroom with a black eye and a bleeding lip.

"The prisoner escaped!" he said. "She beat me with her dinner tray and promised she'd save Hyrule in exchange for all this! This is an outrage! We must go after her now!"

"…well you know," the judge said uncomfortably. "If she's going to save Hyrule, we might as well just let her be, right?"

"Yeah…I mean, who else is going to do it?"

"Link can put up with her."


	76. Lost My Hat

**Hey guys. Yes, this is an update. :)  
Anyway, I'm just glad there are still people who are interested in this story. You guys are wonderful. :D  
I haven't replied to reviews in forever. Hopefully my conversationalist skills are still up to notch. Or whatever. :/**

**A Loyal Fan - I still have a loyal fan? -tearful- Even...just...a _fan_? I'm stunned. And I'm on a scrap of paper of things you love? You shouldn't have. :D**

**llppoo33 - Thank you, your words of encouragement are infinitely helpful :) and trust me, it's summer, so I'll definitely be pumping out a lot of chapters.  
Maybe (just maybe) we can get to chapter 100. :D**

**The-Jaron - Yes, you may put me in the same category as the ever shameful disclaimer. :D Really, I don't know what kept me away for so long...  
lol, Harry Potter's coming out on the 21st, isn't it? Can't wait. :x**

**Bamber of Daggerspine - I'm pretty sure you can't see this response, since you've last reviewed on chapter 2, but anyway :D  
yes, trees are fairly disturbing in this fanfic. :P**

**Arivoctix -Thank you:) I love comments like those. You read all of it in one sitting? -gives you a tub of ice cream as a reward-  
Yes, we can do that, but I'm afraid if we let Navi lash out all her anger, there just won't be enough disclaimer in the future. :(  
**

**-Navi takes out 1/2 anger on disclaimer- (thanks, Arivoctix, you sadistic thing you)  
**

* * *

"Navi," Link said nervously, scratching the back of his neck with pure discomfort. "Um, what the heck _is _that?" 

There was a sea of lava stretching out as far as they could see, a lazy cloud of hot smoke drifting up to the ceiling in front of them. Link started coughing.

"How," he wheezed as he doubled over, "are we supposed to get across that?"

Navi frowned. "There's wire flooring. You're going to have to run. It doesn't look very sturdy."

Link started to laugh disbelievingly at his fairy. "Navi, you've got to be _crazy _if you think I'm willingly going across that…thing."

There were wire platforms hovering above the lava, barely a few inches from the sizzling heat. There were metal supports extending from the ceiling, but rust was evident in several spots.

"Okay," she said thoughtfully. "I'm going to go up ahead and see how far the wire stretches. There's probably a door somewhere."

Link waited for Navi to leave. Whistling guiltily, he pulled out a Deku stick and then jabbed it at the lava. It caught fire instantaneously and he started to giggle, waving it around.

"Navi thinks she's so smart," Link said to himself. "Imagine how she'd react if I pulled _fire _out of my pocket? Like one of those magicians! I'll keep this torch in my pouch and then I'll surprise her later with it."

Link had just about opened his pouch when Navi came flying back, panting. Surprised, he shoved the stick, flames and all into his pouch and then quickly closed it again.

"Okay," she said firmly. "The door's actually not that far. It's just the smoke that's obscuring our vision. Also, there's a break in the platform so you'll have to jump at some point."

Link mumbled his agreement and then skipped across the platform.

"Hey, did you hear that, Navi?" Link asked, frowning. "It sounded like a timer starting…or something."

Navi scowled. "Don't try to back out of this, Link, I'm sure it's nothing. Just keep going!"

She was still curious, though, and she turned back and made a strangling noise in her throat.

"What?" Link said, unconcerned as he walked along leisurely.

"Justkeepgoingnothingbackthere," Navi garbled edgily as she gave Link a little shove. "RUN!"

"Navi, what are you-" Link turned back and then gagged in astonishment.

A giant wall of flame was pursuing them, gaining by the second.

"HOLY-" Link's legs burst into action and his hat went flying backwards, just barely making it above the flames.

He turned back towards the fire, gaping with displeasure. "My hat!"

"You idiot!" Navi shrieked. "Keep going forward! DON'T RUN INTO THE FLAMES, YOU INSUFFERABLE FO-"

"It's okay, Navi!" Link called out above the roar of the inferno. "I won't go back, you will!"

"What…?!"

Link snatched the stunned Navi out of the air, wound his arm a few times in a circle and then threw her just slightly above the fire, and then he turned and kept running.

"I'll be waiting!" Link yelled cheerfully, skipping across the gap in platforms. "Don't take too long!"

Navi withheld her fury for the moment and dove for Link's hat, which lay crumpled in a heap on the wire. She barely managed to hold on to it in her hurry. The flames were coming back for her and she swerved to avoid them, spotting Link sitting on a ledge, his legs dangling. He waved cheerfully.

She opened her mouth to scold him but the words caught in her throat.

"Link," she said blankly. "Why does it smell like burning food, clothes, and plastic at the same time?"

"I may have farted," he answered vaguely, taking his hat back and placing it back on his head.

Navi grimaced in faint horror. "Hey Link, look. The door!"

"I've seen enough doors to last me a lifetime," he muttered under his breath as he struggled to get up. Unfortunately, his boot slipped and within seconds he was clinging to the ledge, squealing like a girl.

Navi stared down at her partner, only a few inches from a sizzling death, and then her gaze slowly wandered to his hat. No thoughts passed through her mind, just a very, very wonderful feeling.

"Navi, you've got to help me," he pleaded. "Do something! I'm too young to die! I'm too beautiful to die! I've got too many fans! I've got too much to experience! Love! Heartbreak! Hunger cravings! Obesity, even!"

"You've already got obesity under your belt, buddy," Navi muttered. "And don't worry, any girl who falls in love with you will be the only one who should be experiencing the heartbreak."

Link looked heavily offended. "I'm not fat."

"You'd be surprised," she groaned. "Okay, okay, I'll save you. But first, you have to say sorry."

"For what?" Link said, seemingly confused. "If it was the time I placed my life in front of yours or insulted you, or whatever, you know I didn't mean it, Navi."

"So what if I had died," she snarled.

"But you didn't," he replied with a sappy grin the size of a banana, looking extremely pleased with himself. "I knew you wouldn't die."

"So that's why you always let me get in danger," Navi said, slightly appeased. "Because you _trusted _me not to die. If I was going to die and you knew it, then you wouldn't have let me go, would you?"

Link frowned. "If I said yes, would you still save me?"

Navi sighed. "I'd have to save you regardless. Stupid Deku tree, making me your dumb slave right when he dies."

Link looked immensely relieved. "Whew, cause you know, if I had to save you or me, then I'd-"

"Link, please just shut it." Navi instructed calmly. "Take your hookshot and aim for the wall-_no, Link_, not me. And then you're fine. Okay?"

Link slammed into the wall on the first try (since it was close to impossible to miss the wall) and oozed down a few seconds later, looking extremely disheartened.

"You didn't tell me about that," he said resentfully.

"It was either that or the lava," Navi quipped grimly. "Come on, let's go. It's always a good sign when you're pursued by a rolling wall of fire."

"If you've got a death wish."

"Yes, but it usually means we're getting closer to the boss."

"How is that a _good _thing?"

"We can get out of this stupid Temple. This has got to be my least favourite dungeon. I swear I've burned off a couple of layers of fairy skin."

"Navi's like an onion! NYAH NYAH NYAH, ONION GIRL!"

Navi swatted him angrily and then took a slow breath as they walked to the end of the passage. "Oh……Nayru."

She felt her partner slowly deflate beside her, like a balloon.

They were in a huge, hollowed cavern. The heat was almost unbearable, even with the special tunic. What appeared to be totem poles were spitting out fire, and the acrid smell of burning rock filled their nostrils. Those totem poles were positioned at almost every corner, and to boot, at random intervals, flame walls shot up in between every pair of totem poles, hissing. As if that wasn't enough, an _enormous _boulder was also rolling around, threatening to crush anyone that even hesitated for a second.

Navi turned to Link, and saw his eyes glued on a particular totem pole that was currently burning a pattern in the wall as it slowly rotated.

"Well," she said, her voice falsely coated with sugary anticipation. "Let's go, Link!"

He tore his gaze off the totem pole, sputtering as he pointed to the patterns that were glowing on the wall.

"Link," Navi said dangerously. "We have to get through this. We've come this far, we can't go back."

"Navi," he said seriously, pressing himself against the wall and slowly easing away in the opposite direction of the chamber, "you realize that we're pretty much dead if we go through that, right?"

"Naw," she said cheerfully. "We'll be fine. You've just got to avoid the flames, the boulder, and possibly a few monsters."

"Yes, that sounds easy, Navi, but I was planning to leave _alive_, not a blackened corpse."

"Link," she said. "I don't want to repeat myself."

Link's eyes had drifted over to the boulder now, and he watched with a quickly paling complexion as it crushed everything in its path.

"Oh come on," she said, exasperated. "You've been rolled over by a boulder...how many times?"

"Well, yeah," he admitted, "but it's still pretty bad. It's like, you know, eating mouldy pizza or something."

Navi didn't bother to try and even understand his comparison. "Come on, do I need to blindfold you or something?"

"They did that in _Star Wars_, didn't they? For Jedi training?" Link exclaimed excitedly.

"Yes," she replied with wonder on how he could think of _Star Wars _at a time like this. "So what do you think?"

"Well, I guess that's not so bad. If I get incinerated to ashes, Navi, you'll promise to bury me in a nice place?"

Navi figured it was better she didn't point out that if he got burned to bits, she'd pretty much leave without a second thought.

"Yes, Link," she said gravely. "I promise. The finest of graves."

"You'll bring me flowers?"

"Everyday." _If there are some by the grave, sure._

"My favourite ones?"

"Yes." _You should be lucky if they're not weeds._

"Manage my fan club for me?"

"Definitely." _Non-existent fan club._

"You're inscribe my (marble) tombstone with _Link, the Greatest Hero Who Ever Lived_? And then below, _Died With a Sizzle_?"

"Of course." _I was thinking more like a wooden stick as a marker, and Link sounds nice and simple. _

"Well, if you put it that way, Navi," Link said happily, pulling out his shield, "I can't wait to get burned to bits!"

"I was joking about the blindfold thing, you know."

"Navi!" he said, aghast. "Without the blindfold, I'll die a coward's death!"

_You'd die a coward anyway_, Navi thought humorlessly.

"Okay," she agreed. "But you're going to have to follow my every direction, okay?"

"As a tribute to the Jedi." He said solemnly.


End file.
